Writing Assignment: write Persuasive Message with Visual
Follow the assignment instruction STEP BY STEP. Assignment instruction has really clear statement about what should be contain in assignment.
READ the chapter 4, 9 and READ the lecture note, READ is the essence for completeing the job. If you dont’t want read and just want to elaborate the work, i will give you fair mark and comment. So please READ the instruction before you accpted the job!!!!!!
I have attached everything you need below.
Word count: up to 1200
i want at least 73 % for this assignment.
ASSIGNMENT 2: PERSUASIVE MESSAGE WITH VISUAL
Due Date: Sunday, November 22, 11:55 p.m.
Length: Up to 1200 words for the entire assignment (essay and memorandum)
Primary Audience for Assignment 2: Student Nurses and Volunteers at LHSC; Sarah Noble
Assignment Format: essay (MLA format) with visual and memo of transmittal ( or x
format only)
Value: 25% of final grade
Background and Assignment
Using the information and exhibits from the “Just Clean Your Hands” case study, write an essay
(MLA format) of up to 1000 words that persuades student nurses and volunteers to increase their
rate of hand-washing compliance. Your assignment must also include a brief memo of transmittal
to Sarah Noble, telling her what you are sending her. Presumably, she will shape your essay into
a pamphlet that she will include in welcome packages for new workers.
You will be graded not only on style, grammar, clarity, organization, accuracy, and concision but
also on the persuasiveness of your argument. Consequently, you should consider these questions:
Which points from the case will be most convincing and most relevant to your intended
audience?
How will you catch your audience’s attention?
How will you structure your body paragraphs for logic, coherence, and readability?
What tone should you adopt?
How will you appeal to ethos, pathos, and logos?
Which of the three appeals should you emphasize?
You must also create a visual to accompany your essay:
Using information from the case study, create a chart or graph that dynamically and memorably
illustrates one of your main points. You must effectively integrate this graph into the body of
your essay.
Resources
Locker/Findlay Chapter 4 and 9 and Unit 6 lecture notes
Units 7 and 8 (readings and lecture notes)
Assignment Case: “Just Clean Your Hands”
IMPORTANT NOTE: if you use ANY material from the case (or other sources), you MUST
cite it properly. All direct quotations MUST be in quotation marks, followed by a citation;
paraphrased passages must include a clear reference to the source.
ADDITIONAL CONSIDERATIONS FOR ASSIGNMENT 2 (PERSUASIVE MESSAGE)
Format
As always, please double-space your assignment, indenting the first sentence of each new
paragraph (so that you do not need to leave extra space between paragraphs). Include both the
transmittal message and essay in the same file. Please open with the memorandum of transmittal,
and start the essay on a new page, following MLA guidelines for its format (see the sample essay
in Appendix B of The Canadian Writer’s Handbook: Second Essentials Edition).
Genre
As with the first graded assignment, the memorandum of transmittal requires only three
sentences: identify the attached document for Sarah Noble, explain the main ideas, and offer to
make any necessary revisions.
This assignment blends two discrete genres—the persuasive message and the formal essay—so
your essay must accommodate the structure appropriate to this type of message, the AIDA
(Attention, Interest, Desire, and Action) structure.
Structure/Content
Introduction/Paragraph of Attention
Although it will be concise, your introduction will be a little longer than that of the negative
message (which contained two sentences). The purpose of this introduction is to gain the reader’s
attention and to identify the subject without specifically stating your purpose (i.e., the request for
action). Because you anticipate resistance to your request, you must do the preliminary work to
persuade them to act. To gain the reader’s attention, Locker and Findlay suggest that you use a
pathos appeal. This appeal requires only a couple of sentences, and it should use psychological
description (Locker and Findlay: “word pictures”), presenting a scenario in which readers can
envision themselves doing—preferably enjoying—something related to your subject. This short
passage should appeal to sense experience. After your pathos appeal, you should conclude your
introduction by identifying the subject. Keep in mind, however, that you should not make your
request in your introduction: your direct request will appear in the conclusion, where you will tell
readers how you want them to act. Before you make that request, you must discuss the benefits
of acting.
Body Paragraphs/Paragraphs of Interest and Desire
Each body paragraph should open with a topic sentence reflecting your purpose. In a persuasive
genre, the topic sentence should make a claim about a specific subject, a claim related to your
thesis. Your body paragraphs should develop your claim (the claim that appears in the topic
sentence) in relation to compelling evidence, which should come primarily from the case but can
also come from scholarly sources dealing with hand hygiene. Notes on the visual (one of your
forms of evidence) appear below.
Each body paragraph should conclude with a sentence that sums up your discussion without
merely repeating your topic sentence. Each concluding sentence could plausibly begin with the
phrase “as a result.” Do not, however, use this phrase mechanically to open each concluding
sentence (when drafting your essay, you can use it as a prompt to guide your thinking about the
purpose of the concluding sentence).
Interest and Desire: The distinction between the middle sections of the AIDA pattern is not
always clear: how do you distinguish maintaining your readers’ interest from inflaming their
desire to act? You can distinguish these two sections in a fairly straightforward manner if you
remember that you should discuss the benefits of acting: the first body section (the section of
interest) should discuss immediate benefits, and the second section (the section of desire) should
discuss longer-term benefits. At both stages, you should also try to anticipate and address
objections for not acting.
Conclusion/Paragraph of Action
As in the previous assignments, the conclusion to this essay should be personal, positive, and
forward-looking. Unlike the previous assignments, this conclusion will tell your readers how to
act, making the request and offering specific details that guide the readers through the process of
acting according to your request.
Visual
For this assignment, you must integrate a visual into the body of your essay. The visual involves
three primary considerations: choosing the appropriate visual, labelling it thoroughly, and
integrating it correctly.
• Choose the visual that best serves your purpose (e.g., to display proportions of a whole,
use a pie chart; to track changes over time, use a line chart).
• Label each part of the visual: open with a title (“Fig. 1” plus a brief caption), identify
the units and quantities on the x and y axes, cite the source of both the data and visual (if you
have created the visual, the source is “Primary”), and (if necessary) include a legend identifying
colours and symbols.
• Integrate your visual into a body paragraph, treating it as you would any quotation or
paraphrase. Do not leave your visual stranded between two body paragraphs. Correct integration
of a visual involves three steps:
(i) Introduce the visual with a sentence identifying its by its number (e.g., “Figure 1
indicates …”; do not include the entire title of the visual), and give a brief explanation of its
contents.
(ii) Place the visual after the introductory sentence.
(iii) Comment on the significance of the visual. Although the visual simplifies a large
body of (usually numerical) information, you should still comment on its significance to your
argument. Completing this third step will prevent you from leaving the visual between two body
paragraphs.
REVISION GUIDE (Supplement to Chapter 1h of The Canadian Writer’s Handbook)
Ambiguous Pronoun
Always place a relevant noun after the demonstrative “this,” especially when what “this” refers
to appears in the previous sentence:
NOT: Increasingly, we observe crimes against grammar. We learn to accept this
with minor complaints.
BUT: We learn to accept this situation with minor complaints.
In contrast, place the relevant noun immediately before the relative pronoun “which.”
I watched the Academy Awards broadcast, which put me to sleep.
Do not use the relative pronoun “which” in place of a conjunction.
NOT: He explained the pronoun, which enlightened me.
BUT: He explained the pronoun, and this explanation enlightened me.
OR: His explanation of the pronoun enlightened me.
NOT: I missed the bus, which angered me.
BUT: Missing the bus angered me.
OR: I missed the bus, so I was angry.
Comma Splice
Comma splices occur when two main clauses are joined by a comma. To correct this error, sim-
ply place a relevant coordinate conjunction (and, or, but, yet, nor, so, for) after the comma. If,
however, you open the second main clause with a conjunctive adverb (e.g., however), you must
replace the comma with a semicolon.
Diction
“Diction error” refers to words or phrases that are inappropriate in their current context. Informal
language tends to be metaphorical, so it needs to be decoded and can exclude readers outside of a
specific discourse community. To ensure that your diction is appropriate,
1. avoid slang, a private, exclusive language used by a specific group (e.g., “Gump
flipped, so he got gat”);
2. avoid idioms, which are widely used but still metaphorical and therefore needing de-
coding (e.g., “That guy ticked me off, so I went medieval on him”)
3. avoid clichés, overused metaphors (e.g., “Because I Said So tries to be a real roller-
coaster ride, but it’s only a cookie-cutter comedy”);
4. avoid euphemisms, metaphorical usages that veil the truth (e.g., “The purveyor of pre-
owned automobiles was economically deprived as a result of his chemical dependency; eventual-
ly, he went to a correctional facility, where, deprived of adult entertainment, he passed away”);
and
5. use your dictionary to understand a word’s denotations and connotations.
Dangling Modifier
When a sentence includes participial phrase, the participle (a word derived from a verb that func-
tions as an adjective) must agree with a specific noun or pronoun.
For instance, in the following sentence, the participle does not agree with the grammatical sub-
ject: “Rolling down the window, the bee flew out of the car.” Bees not being able to roll down
windows, you must revise this sentence, adding an appropriate subject: “Rolling down the win-
dow, I shooed the bee out of the car.”
While this type of modifying phrase often appears at the beginning of a sentence, you will also
see it in other positions. Simply moving the phrase from the beginning to the end—as in “The
bee flew out of the car, rolling down the window”—will not fix the error: the phrase still does
not refer to a noun or pronoun.
Expletive Construction
This type of construction features a grammatical subject that refers to nothing (i.e., its function in
the sentence is grammatical only, serving to get the sentence underway) and a verb that does not
act (it is usually a form of “to be” or “to seem,” a class of verbs called “linking verbs,” describ-
ing states of being rather than actions). You can usually avoid these impersonal constructions,
choosing instead an active construction in which the grammatical subject performs an action.
Expletive constructions often cause dangling modifiers, as in this example: “Reading the article,
it seems that Smith misunderstands Said’s central concept.” The grammatical subject of the sen-
tence is “it,” but “it”—which, unlike pronouns that have actual antecedents—cannot read the ar-
ticle. To correct this sentence, add the appropriate subject: “Reading the article, I think that
Smith misunderstands Said’s central concept.”
Faulty Parallelism
In parallel constructions, similar ideas are expressed in the same grammatical form. The follow-
ing sentence features a faulty parallelism: “I like writing essays, reading books, and to spend
time at the library.” Parallel constructions involve repetition, and you can see how one item in
the series is, in form, not like the others: “writing” and “reading” are gerunds, and “to spend” is
an infinitive.
Correct this fault by placing the similar ideas (in this case, objects of the verb “like”) in an iden-
tical form: “I like writing essays, reading books, and spending time in the library.” You could
also write, “I like to write essays, to read books, and to spend time in the library.” The former
revision is more concise, so you should choose that one: no essential meaning is lost, and it con-
veys the same idea in fewer words. The second revision is useful, however, because it shows
how you must repeat the preposition “to” before each infinitive in a parallel construction.
Faulty Predication
This error involves the logical disagreement of the grammatical subject with its predicate. In the
following example, the writer offers a definition, but the subject and complement are not of the
same class of beings: “A characteristic of good writing is a person who heeds the rules of gram-
mar.” A characteristic, however, is not a person. To correct this error, choose a subject that agrees
with the complement: “A good writer is someone who heeds the rules of grammar.” For en-
hanced concision, you can eliminate the “to be” verb: “Good writers heeds the rules of
grammar.”
Fused Sentence
In this sentence-boundary error, two main clauses appear without the appropriate punctuation
between them: “I like studying at Huron’s library it is much cleaner and quieter than Weldon.” To
join main clauses, you can use a semicolon, a comma accompanied by a coordinate conjunction
(“I like studying at Huron’s library, for it is much cleaner than Weldon”), or, if the second
thought completes the first by explaining it (as in this instance), a colon. If you place a subordi-
nate conjunction between them, you do not need to add punctuation: “I like studying at Huron’s
library because it is much cleaner and quieter than the main campus’s libraries.”
Incomplete Clause
If you punctuate a word group as a main clause, ensure that it contains both a subject and a pred-
icate. When a sentence contains one subject and two predicates, you must not separate them with
a comma: “I wrote the paper last night, and edited it today.” In this construction, the second word
group is not a main clause, for it lacks a grammatical subject. To correct the error, either add the
subject to the second clause—“I wrote the paper last night, and I edited it today”—or delete the
comma. Both are correct; in relatively short constructions, however, you should simply delete the
comma: the sentence is short enough that the subject of the second predicate will be clear.
Misplaced Modifier
Modifying words or phrases should appear close to the words that they modify. In the following
sentence, the prepositional phrase “in his story” incorrectly modifies the verb “spends” rather
than the appropriate verb, “writes”: “Conrad writes that the Intended spends a lot of time alone in
his story, waiting for Kurtz.” To correct this sentence, move the modifier to a place where it un-
ambiguously modifies the appropriate verb: “In his story, Conrad writes …” or “Conrad writes in
his story ….”
Mixed Construction
In this error, a sentence inappropriately combines distinct clause patterns: “Because we love
grammar means a great deal to our instructor.” In this example, we expect the opening subordi-
nate clause to precede a main clause. Instead, it is followed by a predicate, for which it cannot
serve as a grammatical subject. No single appropriate revision exists; you should simply choose
a complete clause pattern that conveys the appropriate sense: “Our love of grammar is important
to our instructor.” “Our instructor appreciates our love of grammar.”
Passive Voice
In this type of construction, the grammatical subject is acted upon; it does not act. This construc-
tion can be appropriate when the subject is indeed passive: “Students were forced to complete
dozens of grammatical exercises.” Otherwise, you should try to write in the active voice, in
which the grammatical subject performs an action. The active voice is both more concise and
more assertive than the passive voice (contrast “He wrote the essay” with “The essay was written
by him”).
Pronoun Error
Often, this error involves an incorrect pronoun case: “She divided the money between he and I”
should instead use the object case for the last two pronouns (the objects of the preposition “be-
tween”): “She divided the money between him and me.” This error might also involve using
“that” rather than “who” for people: “Students that study punctuation tend to improve their writ-
ing” should be “Students who study punctuation.” The possessive pronoun should appear before
a gerund: “Mom objected to our discussing [not “us discussing”] the semicolon after we went to
bed and were supposed to be sleeping.”
Punctuation Error
Commas
Use commas to offset words and word groups that precede the main clause (e.g., prepositional
phrase, participial phrase, subordinate clause, conjunctive adverb), that appear in the middle of
the sentence (e.g., non-restrictive appositive phrases or adjective clauses, conjunctive adverbs,
parentheses), and that follow the main clause (e.g., non-restrictive appositive phrases or adjective
clauses, participial phrases that do not modify the noun immediately preceding them, conjunctive
adverbs).
When you place a comma in the middle of a compound predicate, you must repeat the subject in
the second clause.
Incorrect: “I printed my essay, and proofread it meticulously before I submitted it.”
Correct: “I finished my essay, and I proofread it meticulously before I submitted it.”
Also, do not separate compound elements—two grammatically equal words or phrases—with a
comma, as in the following examples: “I habitually use the comma, and the semicolon.”
Semicolons
1. Use semicolons to separate main clauses not joined by a coordinate conjunction. When you
place a semicolon between two word groups, ensure that each is a main clause, capable of stand-
ing by itself as a grammatically complete sentence.
Correct: “I like Olde English 800; he likes Colt .45.”
Incorrect: “Because malt liquor is affordable; I drink it rather than craft beer.”
The second example is incorrect because the first word group is not a main clause: the subordi-
nate conjunction creates and introduces a subordinate clause.
2. Use semicolons to separate items in a series when an item contains internal punctuation. In the
following example, each item in the series contains internal punctuation, a comma separating a
noun phrase from the one that follows and renames it: “Dickens’s best-loved characters include
Uriah Heep, an unctuous clerk; Dick Swiveller, a failed playboy; and Sloppy, a gifted mimic.”
You would use the semicolon, for the sake of consistency, even if only a single item contains in-
ternal punctuation.
Colons
Unlike the semicolon, which separates equal and balanced sentence elements, the colon separates
unequal sentence elements.
1. Use a colon after an independent clause to direct attention to a list, an appositive, or a quota-
tion.
List: The daily routine should include at least the following: three scotch and sodas, five
cups of coffee, and fifteen cigarettes.
Appositive: My roommate is guilty of two of the Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony and Sloth.
Quotation, when both word groups (the signal phrase and the quotation itself) are main
clauses: Basil Bunting opens his poem Briggflatts with an arresting line: “Brag, sweet tenor
bull.”
2. Use a colon between independent clauses if the second summarizes or explains the first:
Interest in grammar is like love: It cannot be forced.
3. Use a colon after the salutation in formal letter; to indicate hours and minutes; to show propor-
tions; between a title and a subtitle; and between city and publisher in bibliographic entries.
Do NOT use the colon in the following instances:
1. Between a verb and its object or complement.
Some important quotation marks are: the comma, the semicolon, and the colon.
While the subject complement in this sentence is a series, the word groups on either side of the
colon are not main clauses. The colon—which is unnecessary in this construction—produces a
sentence fragment.
2. Between a preposition and its object.
The quiz will consist of: questions related to punctuation.
As in the first example, the colon produces a sentence fragment: neither word group constitutes a
main clause.
Hyphens
Place a hyphen compound adjectives (usually, noun phrases functioning as adjectives). The hy-
phen indicates that both modifiers must appear to convey your intended meaning; lack of a hy-
phen indicates that you can delete one of the two modifiers without affecting the meaning. Con-
trast “video-game use” with “video use” and “game use.”
Apostrophes
Use apostrophes to indicate possession (e.g., “the article’s main points”).
Use single quotation marks only for nested quotations (i.e., a quotation that appears inside of an-
other one). Use quotation marks not only for quoted speech or passages of writing but also for
shorter works (e.g., short stories, lyric poems, article titles) but not for longer works (e.g., maga-
zines, newspapers, novels, films).
Sentence Fragment
Sentences punctuated as main clauses must contain both a grammatical subject (either a noun or
a pronoun) and a verb. A semicolon separates main clauses, so you should use one between two
word groups only when each group can stand alone as a grammatically complete sentence.
Do not confuse verbals with verbs. Gerunds, participles, and infinitives derive from verbs but do
not function as verbs do. In the following sentence, the word group that follows the semicolon is
a fragment because it lacks a verb: “I walked through the snow to school; grumbling all the
way.” Even though “grumbling” sounds like a verb, it is not. In this construction, it is a partici-
ple, modifying the pronoun “I.” To correct the fragment in this instance, replace the semicolon
with a comma.
Shift
A shift involves a lack of agreement between words, whether a subject and verb or noun and
pronoun.
NOT: The purpose of the assignments were to refine the students’ writing skills.
BUT: The purpose of the assignments was to refine the students’ writing skills.
Subordination Required
Where appropriate, be sure to add the subordinate conjunction (or, depending on the context, the
relative pronoun) “that” to introduce subordinate elements. Otherwise, the reader will be con-
fused about the status of the verb (without the conjunction, the reader assumes that the verb is
transitive).
NOT: He writes the purpose of the preposition is to join a noun to another word or word
group in a sentence.
BUT: He writes that the purpose of the preposition is to join a noun to another word or
word group in a sentence.
Unnecessary Wordiness
I usually offer a possible revision. Expletive constructions are unnecessarily wordy, as are pro-
gressive verb tenses and the passive voice. In most instances, try to use either the simple present
or past tenses of a verb (e.g., replace “He is writing about the Oxford comma” with “He writes
about the Oxford comma”).
Also, avoid nominalization, the unnecessary conversion of a verb into a noun (as in the example
below). Instead, try to use the active voice wherever possible, avoiding not only expletive and
passive constructions but also “to be” as a main verb.
NOT: I am of the belief that the active voice promotes concision.
BUT: I believe that the active voice promotes concision.
Unit7
Writing Persuasive Messages
Objectives:
Through this Unit’s readings, you should be familiar with the following topics:
• The primary and secondary purposes of persuasive messages
• Choosing a persuasive strategy: direct or indirect?
• Analyzing a persuasive rhetorical situation: ‘TeknoSport’
Read: Locker/Findlay Chapter 9 and “TeknoSport” (pdf on ‘Lectures’
page); Assignment 2 Case: “Just Clean Your Hands” in Course Book
Assignment #2: (Persuasive Message w/ visual; up to 1200 words/25%) due
Sunday Week Nine.
*Download, Write, and Upload Sentence Structure/Grammar Test (15%)
Overview of Unit 7
In this unit we will continue our discussion of persuasive writing, introduced in Unit 1
and picked up again in Units 4 and 5. Here, and in Unit 8, we will concentrate specifically on
effectively arguing a ‘case’ (a proposal, the existence of and/or solution to a problem, and so
forth); you will put the principles we articulate into practice in Assignment 2.
As always, and to the extent possible, I will try to avoid repeating what you will find well
set out in Locker/Findlay. We’ll begin this unit’s discussion by briefly revisiting some basic
points raised throughout the course so far. Then, following a short overview of the concepts
presented in Locker/Findlay Chapter 9, we’ll try to give those concepts some concrete meaning
by doing a sample analysis of the TeknoSport scenario. In the lecture notes for Unit 8, we’ll turn
our attention more specifically to argumentation itself. There, our objective will be to articulate
some general principles that can help us to construct effective rational appeals. We will assume
that although we have of course three basic kinds of appeal available to us whenever we present
an ‘argument’ (the appeals to emotion, credibility, and reason), the first two must always be used
to support and reinforce the third: if our case fails on rational grounds, it fails – no matter how
persuasive we might otherwise be.
‘Everything’s An Argument’ Revisited!
As we saw beginning with Unit 1, we are in this course operating under this assumption.
That assumption, more fully stated, is that whenever you write something in the ‘real-world’
rhetorical contexts imagined by the course, you are seeking to some extent at least to ‘persuade’.
To return to the Aristotelian terminology of Unit 1 (repeated in Locker/Findlay at page 206), you
are always making ‘appeals’ to your audience’s emotional responses, your own credibility, and
to reason. The balance between these three can, of course, shift according to purpose. In the
advertising world, for example, one might be forgiven for thinking that appeals to reason are
often most conspicuous by their absence.
This ‘persuasive’ element in human communication in general is reflected in
Locker/Findlay’s breakdown of primary and secondary purposes (for writing persuasive
messages) on page 207. The primary purposes have to do with motivating a reader to act, and
act in the way(s) we want her/him to do, while the secondary purposes (again, pretty self-
explanatory) have to do with the writer’s ‘image’, ‘goodwill’, and – it has to be said – efficiency.
The following section, ‘Analyzing a Persuasive Situation’ pages 207 to 209, highlights the key
questions, answers to which will help you organize your thinking, choose a rhetorical strategy
(an organizational pattern), and develop content for your message:
§ What do you want someone/people to do?
§ What objections, if any, will your readers (both primary and secondary!) have?
§ How strong is your case?
§ What kind of persuasion does your organization value?
Out of the kinds of analyses that this section contemplates, and as a result of common practice,
a number of quite definable, even conventionalized, rhetorical patterns have evolved. For our
purposes, there are three of these (see pages 210 to 224:
§ The ‘direct request pattern’
§ The ‘(indirect) problem-solving pattern’
§ The ‘sales’ (or ‘AIDA’) pattern (a variation on the ‘indirect’ pattern, and more
fully discussed pages 221 to 224)
In this course, we will concentrate on defining, and choosing between, a ‘direct’ or ‘indirect’
pattern, and will concentrate most of our attention on the latter, given that problem-solving
messages are inherently more difficult to write than those making direct requests.
Direct or Indirect?
This, of course, is the initial choice we have to make. What we decide to do will be
determined by the results of the analyses noted above, but in general we can sum it up this way:
Ø Choose a ‘direct’ strategy (note how this is pretty much parallel to the ‘positive’
or ‘good news’ pattern) when your analysis suggests that your audience will do as
you request without any resistance, or even willingly. Note also that this pattern
is common now for internal communication (typically email), when you
anticipate that, e.g., a colleague either habitually doesn’t read internal
correspondence, or is too busy to do so
Ø Choose an ‘indirect’ strategy (again, note the parallel to ‘negative’ messages)
when you anticipate that your reader may well resist doing what you ask. Here,
you will have a further choice:
Ø If you anticipate that ultimately logic/reason will prevail over any emotional
resistance your reader might have, use the classic ‘indirect’ pattern discussed in
Chapter 9 and these lecture notes. However, if – in your judgment – emotion
may well play a stronger role than logic, you might well want to at least
consider adopting the ‘AIDA’ or sales pattern as the basis of your organizational
strategy.
Messages making direct requests have, as one might expect, a fairly straightforward
structure (note the balance in the text!). ‘Indirect’, or ‘problem-solving,’ messages are more
problematic in that you really are ‘making a case’ (constructing a rational argument, reinforced
as appropriate by appeals to emotion and credibility). Nevertheless, we can define a useful, if
fairly conventional, organizational pattern to follow:
§ Catch your reader’s interest by defining, and mentioning, a common ground
§ Define the problem which you both share (and which your request, you will
argue, will solve if accepted)
§ Explain the (your) solution to the problem. This, and the following two items,
are – in effect – your ‘argument’
§ Demonstrate that any negative elements (cost, time, etc) are outweighed by
advantages
§ Summarize any additional benefits of the solution (reasons) and if appropriate
build in emotional appeal
§ Tell (not ‘instruct’!! – always watch ‘tone’!) your reader exactly what should be
done/what you want her or him to do
All very well in the abstract, you might be thinking – but how does this translate into practice?
In order to begin exploring this question, let’s ‘workshop’ the TeknoSport case in a context
defined by these points of reference. Here, the question to be answered is suggested by the case
study’s sub-title “Communicating to Prevent Change.” That question is: how to persuade
Karvinen to reconsider his intention to cut/replace the company’s Sales Training Program?
You would almost certainly want to use some variation on the classic ‘indirect’ pattern
defined above. The question is ‘why’? In this instance, the answer is fairly obvious: Karvinen
himself states that ‘he and the Board were dedicated “to cut the fat out of TeknoSport, to make
the company leaner”.’ But this is not just motivational speaking on the part of a newly-installed
President; among other things, he makes an argument, with reasons, that the STP in effect
needs to go, and be replaced by alternatives. Why? Because the resources it currently uses
must be shifted to a) development re. new product packages and b) improvement of
TeknoSport’s communication systems, in order to maintain and even improve TeknoSport’s
competitive position and, ultimately, profitability. He states that he and the Board are agreed
that this “redistribution of resources” is necessary, but he also invites you to try to persuade him
that he (and the Board) should reconsider this decision, while warning that to do so they will
need “some very substantial reasons for doing so … something vital about the STP we’ve not
taken into account …”.
As we read through the case, and concentrate on trying to fully understand Karvinen’s
position, we can begin to notice a number of things. First, and very importantly, we notice that
he carefully and rationally articulates the reasons for his positions. He has tried to take into
account some of the obvious objections that “you” and others make at your meeting, and tries to
supply evidence of his own. Second, we notice (we are told) that he speaks “bluntly” and
straightforwardly. Finally, for now, it’s crucial to note that he has ‘invited’ your response,
suggesting very strongly that he is open to opposing points of view provided that they can be
supported with evidence. We are also told that although he has been brought in from outside
only three years before, he is respected by “all the regional sales managers …”, which includes
‘you’! This preliminary and very general analysis suggests a number of things.
First, you would want your tone to reflect your relative positions within the organization.
He is not only now President, but also has been and continues to be your immediate superior as
Vice President for Marketing & Sales. Having said that, that fact also presents you with a
rhetorical opportunity: Karvinen’s background is in sales, so he will presumably be predisposed
to accept an argument which is predicated on the assumption that ‘sales’ of product are, at the
end of the day, the lifeblood of an organization such as TeknoSport. If sales decline, as a result
of a decline in the effectiveness of sales personnel, all the new product development or improved
communications systems will count for nothing. In other words, if you could demonstrate
(among other things), with evidence, that on balance retaining the STP, in its current or perhaps
a slightly modified form, is essential to maintaining or growing the company’s sales, you would
be half-way there.
Second, this begins to suggest a way of formulating our ‘common ground’: you could
agree that “to compete effectively, we [must] plan to eliminate non-essential programs;” you
could agree that this does mean that “change is necessary;” and you could agree that all else
being equal it would be laudable to be dedicated to cutting “the fat out of TeknoSport, to make
the company leaner.” Third, this way of defining a common ground in turn begins to suggest
how you would go about defining the ‘problem’ as one which you both share: you both want to
increase efficiency and, ultimately, TeknoSport’s competitive position. Your argument, of
course, would be a ‘solution’ to this problem: your basic proposition would be that the STP is
essential to TeknoSport’s competitive position, in the past, at present, and in the future.
Your problem, of course, is to explain and demonstrate the truth of this proposition. To
do that, you need evidence of your own to support a fully-developed argument, and – just as
important – you need to fully understand Karvinen’s argument, the ‘case’ you are, in effect,
answering. Let’s return to some terminology from previous discussion: one way to do this, and
in the process to begin to develop an outline for your own argument, is to try to re-state
Karvinen’s position in enthymematic form. See if you can come up with a single, complex
sentence which has the following general structure:
“The STP should be eliminated because:
• Reason 1 (+ evidence)
• Reason 2 (+ evidence)
• Reason 3 (+ evidence)
• And so on, as you see the (Karvinen’s) argument
Creating an outline of Karvinen’s argument in this form would allow you to do two things:
check that argument itself for internal coherence, and prepare an outline for a counter-argument
(expressed in positive terms) of your own – your ‘case’ – which implicitly answers Karvinen’s
position:
“The STP should be retained (as is, or modified) because:
• Reason 1 (+ evidence) and so on,
• Answering Karvinen’s positions
Ideally, creating a schematic outline for your argument would allow you clearly to articulate
“something vital about the STP” that Karvinen/the Board have not taken into account.
As we saw in Unit 3, what you are doing is creating a ‘thesis’ that in turn suggests ways
to develop the body of your discussion. For example (to mention one characteristic rhetorical
strategy: argument from example!), one of your reasons would certainly be the assertion of fact
that the STP contributes directly and indirectly to TeknoSport’s sales. An ‘example’ of an
indirect but significant contribution is mentioned specifically in the case; you could use this as
evidence for your assertion.
Further, as you began to develop your argument in outline form, you would at the same
time test it for logical coherence. For example, it’s all too easy to come up with a proposition of
this sort: “The STP should be retained because it works; it helps us develop effective sales staff.”
Well, yes – it does; is anyone disputing that? Certainly not Karvinen; he would agree
completely, but then say ‘but that’s not the issue!’ The issue is: is there an equally-effective but
less expensive (in both direct and indirect costs) way of maintaining the effectiveness of our
sales staff, which would allow us to divert all or a good part of current sales-training costs to
other vital areas, e.g. product development and communications? Articulating your argument in
schematic form, and testing it against your understanding of Karvinen’s position, would allow
you to check yourself for logical coherence and to better anticipate and consequently deal with
Karvinen’s potential responses to your position.
A fully-developed argument of this kind would then lead you naturally into a Summary
of the benefits of Karvinen’s acceptance of your position. These could include your reinforcing
of a basic emotional appeal, one which should be implicitly present throughout, which is simply
that he, Karvinen, should accept your argument because, among other things, he will thereby
avoid making what might turn out to be an embarrassingly ‘wrong’ decision regarding the STP.
Nevertheless, we will treat the appeal to reason as primary in this sense: if your
‘argument’ (your case) is not logically/rationally sound, you risk having it fail (that is, rejected
by your audience) even if you have effectively built-in appeals to your audience’s emotions and
to your own credibility. In Unit 8, we will explore rhetorical (that is, practical) argument in more
theoretical terms, and then put those concepts to work in another analysis.
Unit 6
Overview of Basic Principles of Document Design and Use of Visuals
Objectives:
Through this Unit’s readings, you should be familiar with the following topics:
• The importance of ‘design’
• The concept of ‘white space’
• Robin Williams’ ‘four basic principles of design’
• The concept of ‘quadrant design’
• The ways in which ‘visuals’ can be used to good rhetorical effect
• When and why to use ‘visuals’
• Some criteria for effective visuals
Read: Locker/Findlay, Chapter 4
Assignment 1 due 11:55 p.m. Sunday Week 6
Overview of Unit 6
This unit is an introduction to and overview of some very basic principles of both
document design in general, and the use of visuals within a message as an aid to effective
communication. Among other things, through these notes and your reading in the text we will
consider some of the criteria for evaluating the usefulness of visuals within messages: when, and
how, should they be used? For your Assignment 2 you will write a persuasive message (see
Units 7 and 8) that contains an argument supported by at least one visual element (a graph, chart,
pictorial image, etc.).
Overview of Basic Principles of Document Design and Use of Visuals
These notes are intended only to highlight some of the basic, general principles you will
find articulated in more detail in our text. Some of you will be familiar with these, some not. As
you can imagine, there are many resources available to you on these subjects both on-line and in
print form. One very good example is Robin Williams’ The Non-Designer’s Design Book (2nd
ed., Peachpit Press, 2004). This text is widely and easily available.
The importance of one these general principles, the use of ‘white space’, is very easy to
demonstrate. Let’s take the paragraph immediately above and repeat it, without using any white
space, typographical features, or punctuation at all. You’ll get the point immediately:
thesenotesareintendedonlytohighlightsomeofthebasicgeneralprinciplesyouwillfindarticulatedin
moredetailinourtextsomeofyouwillbefamiliarwiththesesomenotasyoucanimaginetherearemany
resourcesavailabletoyouonthesesubjectsbothonlineandinprintformoneverygoodexampleisrobin
williamsthenondesignersdesignbook2ndedpeachpitpress2004thistextiswidelyandeasilyavailable
The point, of course, is that you can read this, but a) you really don’t want to (!) and, b) it
would take you some time to do so. The absence of any kind of ‘white space’ to demarcate
boundaries between linguistic units (words, phrases, clauses, sentences), combined with the
absence of any of the graphic devices we commonly use in writing, such as capital letters and
punctuation, to reinforce those boundaries and perform other linguistic signaling functions, acts
to make ‘writing’ extraordinarily difficult to decode. By the bye, many medieval manuscripts
look exactly like this!
Here, we will consider two issues: when and how to use ‘visuals’ per se, for example
charts, tables, and other graphic images, within your text, and when and how to apply basic
design principles to the layout, organization, and appearance of a document. Taking the latter
subject first, we can start with an overriding basic principle (one which applies equally to
visuals): document design is not about decoration; it is about using graphic and design elements
to guide your reader through a task or toward an understanding: in other words, it is and should
be ‘reader focused’. Reviewing Locker/Findlay Chapter 4 and the examples therein will provide
you with a good, clear introduction to specific points under this general principle. Here are the
most important ones:
n Use blank (empty) space on a page/inside a graphic to create emphasis, to
highlight information that you want your reader to notice, through ‘separation’
(in the trade, this is referred to as ‘using White Space’; see page 80)
n Headings work the same way, by ‘chunking’ information into discrete,
manageable ‘bits’; notice, however,
n the need to limit the use of FULL CAPS WHICH TEND TO HIDE THE
SHAPES OF INDIVIDUAL WORDS AND SO MAKE YOUR PROSE
MORE DIFFICULT FOR YOUR READER TO READ, and
n the caution against using multiple fonts (both as to style and size) in a
document. Doing this tends to create a false, and potentially misleading,
sense of ‘contrast’ for your reader (see also ‘Contrast’ below)
n Note page 88 on the use of ‘justification’: when to use full justification, and
when to use ‘ragged right margins’.
n Note also pages 90 – 1 on the use of ‘attention getters’, and the use of
‘colours’; the latter are especially important because their significance (to a
given reader) is heavily culture-dependent (see further page 122 in Chapter 5).
More generally, you might find Robin Williams’ ‘Four Basic Principles of Design’
(Williams, pg. 13 et seq.) helpful:
Contrast
Avoid having elements on a page that are merely similar. If the elements are not the same, make
them very different.
Repetition
Use repeated visual elements (patterns, headings, fonts, colours, etc.) to organize and unify.
Alignment
Every element should visually connect with another; avoid apparently arbitrary placement (i.e.
don’t do what I’m doing here!)
Proximity
Items conceptually related should be visually related (grouped together); doing this creates a
sense of structure for your reader, which helps her/him follow your exposition, whatever the
subject.
If you think about it for a moment, these principles work in just the same way as the principle of
coherence does in writing, e.g. as it operates in paragraphs.
Finally, on this, note the brief discussion at Locker/Findlay pages 89 – 90 on ‘Quadrant
design’ principles. These important design principles are predicated on the fact that for Western
readers (that is, persons raised in or acculturated to European-based languages, and some others,
the points of emphasis on a ‘page’ (conditioned by ‘left-to-right’ eye-movement when reading)
are upper left (most emphatic) >>>>>> upper right (non-emphatic) >>>>>>> diagonally back
to lower left (non-emphatic) >>>>>>> lower right (secondary position of emphasis. In other
words, readers will best absorb information presented and the beginning of a page (or sentence, or
paragraph), or at the end of a page (or sentence, or paragraph), and will tend not to retain the ‘stuff’
they read/find/see ‘in the middle’. See also Figures 4.7 and 4.8 on page 91.
Turning now to ‘visuals’ more specifically – the use of charts, tables, images, and other
devices within your text – we start with the same basic principle: reader focus. The point of
using these kinds of devices is not decorative, but rather to help your reader:
n through a task, or to do something
n to see a point being made in a discussion or argument
n to take in information
n to remember something
The incidental effect of using visuals is to make ‘you’ look good when they work (!); the
problem, of course, is that when they don’t serve any real purpose, you merely look pompous,
silly, unserious, incompetent or some combination thereof!! So, the first question to answer is:
when to use graphics to present information, or other visuals (e.g. images) to make a point?
When you want:
n to deliver spatial information/relationships
n to represent and organize statistical relationships
n to produce a strong, immediate impact (on your reader)
n to emphasize a main point made or argued in your text
Our text provides (pages 92ff) more detailed discussion, with examples, as to how the
various kinds of graphics (charts, tables, graphs) differ, and how/when they each should be used.
Here, we might note that tables should be used when you want/need your reader to identify exact
values/numbers, whereas charts and graphs (note the difference) should be used to focus your
reader’s attention on relationships
n of part to whole (‘pie chart’)
n over time (line graph)
n comparison (bar chart)
n frequency/distribution (line graph or bar chart)
n correlation (line graph, bar chart OR ‘dot graph’)
The use of images (line drawings, photographs, and similar) is usually driven by the need to
reinforce the authenticity or legitimacy of a point being made; to show an item or concept
actually being used/playing a role; or to force your reader to focus on some specific visual
detail(s).
Finally, for ‘visuals’ in general, a checklist:
n Is its purpose clear?
n Does it have a Title indicating that purpose?
n Is there a clear reference to it, and some discussion of it, in your text?
n Are ‘units’ of measurement, or value, clear as to both quantity and what they
denote?
n If data are presented, is the source given (if not internal)?
n Is the visual’s organizational principle going to be clear to your reader?
n Last, but by no means least, back to our first principles: Is it (the visual)
either necessary or useful to your reader’s understanding?
Unit8
Writing Persuasive Messages II:
The Structure of Arguments
Objectives:
Through this Unit’s discussion and readings you should be familiar with the
following topics:
• What we mean by ‘rhetorical argument’
• The classical model of rhetorical argument
• Problems with the classical model
• The Toulmin model of rhetorical argument
• The distinction between the formal validity of an argument and its persuasiveness
in a more general sense
• The importance of assumptions shared by the sender and receiver of a
(persuasive) message
Read: Locker/Findlay, Chapter 9 and “TeknoSport” and “Rocky Mountain
Fitness” (pdfs on Lectures page); Assignment Case: “Just Clean Your
Hands” in Course Book
Discussion Topic: Your aim in TeknoSport would be to construct an argument
(make a case) in which you use reasons and data to support a Claim. Your
Claim is that the STP should be retained, in at least more or less its present
form. Your Warrant for this Claim will involve some assumptions (‘common
ground’) which you need to define, and which you can reasonably expect
Karvinen to share with you. What might these Warrants look like?
Overview of Unit 8
In this unit we will explore the logical core, or structure, of the arguments which
lie at the centre of persuasive messages. As we noted in Unit 7, our assumption here is
that all else being equal, unless you have a specific (rhetorical) purpose which requires
that you give priority to persuasion by other means (appeals to emotion or credibility),
your writing of persuasive messages will ordinarily be conditioned first and foremost by
your need to construct a rationally persuasive case. Accordingly, we will spend some
time here looking at two basic models of rhetorical argument – that is, practical
argument ‘in the world’ intended to persuade others to agree with us that we ought/ought
not do something. We will look first at the ‘classical’ model of rhetorical argument,
derived as we’ve seen principally from Aristotle, and then explore a more recent model
developed by the philosopher Stephen Toulmin – a model which he developed to more
accurately reflect, in theoretical terms, what it is we actually do when we construct
rhetorical arguments of various kinds on various subjects. We’ll conclude this discussion
by working up an analysis of another case: ‘Rocky Mountain Fitness’.
Rhetorical Argument: The Classical Model
Recall that in Units 1, 3, and 7 we glanced back at terminology and concepts
derived from classical rhetoric (Aristotelian theory) in order to talk about the ways in
which we go about persuading others to come round to our point of view, solution to a
problem, and so on. In fact, of course, Locker/Findlay do this as well at page 195. More
specifically, I’ve suggested that one very good way of checking a draft of any persuasive
message is, of course, to check for coherence by attempting to reduce your entire
argument to an enthymeme; that is, to see if you can reduce your argument to a single,
complex sentence in the form “You should (not) believe/we should (not) do X because 1,
2, 3 etc. (reasons).”
In classical rhetoric, and contrary to our common contemporary meaning when
we use the term ‘rhetorical’ or ‘mere rhetoric’ to characterize some piece of discourse
(spoken or written), ‘logic’ in this general, practical sense was at the heart of the study
and practice of rhetoric, and was indeed given primacy. ‘Enthymeme’ is Artistotle’s term
for the rhetorical form of a syllogism – in other words, what we might call the ‘logical
core’ of any practical argument. Whether or not we are successful with a persuasive
argument depends on the coherence of this logical core, and as well on other factors such
as our own credibility, our audience’s emotional/psychological responses, and so on. The
problem of finding arguments with which to make a case was treated under the heading
of invention (inventione in Latin; heurisis in Greek: the skill of discovering and then
formulating arguments on any subject, opinions on the resolution of any problem, or
reasons for or against any proposed course of action). Classical rhetoric approaches the
problem of invention, in this sense, through the use of topoi, or topics: literally, ‘things
to talk about.’ The Greek word topos means ‘place’ – it is a geographical term – and is
used in this context descriptively: topics are ‘places’ in the mind where one can go to
‘find’ arguments on any subject whatsoever. Put another way, they are ‘techniques’ as it
were which correspond to basic tendencies we all have to think about things in certain
ways. From the topics we get such common terms, in the modern teaching of writing
strategies, as definition, part and whole, compare/contrast, cause and effect, and so
on. In Locker/Findlay at pages 250 – 251 you’ll find a contemporary description of
several of the classical topics, adapted to our particular writing context. These kinds of
topics are helpful both to thinking about (finding) arguments to create and support a
thesis, and to creating patterns of organization to impose on a message.
Returning to the enthymeme, the logical core of any persuasive message, let’s
take a closer look at how this works. To reiterate, the enthymeme is a proposition in the
form of a complex sentence: an assertion (a claim) in the main clause, followed by one
or more reasons supporting the claim contained in one or more subordinate clauses. Let’s
create an example, and look at some of the complexities. Suppose we want to make an
argument in favour of a flat-rate income tax. It might look something like this:
“The current progressive-rate income tax regime should be replaced by a flat-rate
Because
a flat-rate income tax regime would treat all taxpayers equally.”
As you read this over, you should begin to notice something: there seems to be a whole
lot of assumptions built into this assertion! That’s true, and that’s the point!
Enthymemes are persuasive, and effective, if your audience agrees, or can be persuaded
to agree, with the assumptions packed into them.
Consider just our simple example:
§ What does it mean to ‘treat all taxpayers equally’? To answer this
question, we have in turn to consider (and argue for!) definitions of what
constitutes ‘equal treatment’ in general and specifically within an income
tax regime
§ Even if we can expect agreement on what ‘equal treatment’ means, is that
(one might ask) the primary, or even an important, consideration (among
many) in structuring an income tax regime?
§ In other words, even if we agree on definitions, is ‘equal treatment’ in this
context desirable, or even possible, given other supportable objectives of
income tax regimes?
§ Can, in fact, an income tax regime ever treat individual taxpayers equally?
and so forth.
We can see immediately that to support such an initial claim persuasively, and it
is a coherent thesis, all these kinds of assumptions (there are many more) would in turn
have to be argued for within our message.
Nevertheless, the enthymeme is a useful device for us as writers of persuasive
messages because it does allow us to test whether or not we have a coherent (i.e.
arguable) thesis at the heart of our message. Now, the enthymeme as suggested above is
in fact the rhetorical equivalent of a syllogism in Aristotelian formal logic; it is a
syllogism (which is a three-term argument) with either the major (first) premise or term
or the minor (second) premise or term omitted. Expanding any enthymeme into its full
syllogistic form does allow us to check our thesis for formal validity. We can take our
example above and so expand it:
§ (If) An income tax regime should treat all taxpayers equally
§ (and If) Only a flat-rate income tax regime treats all taxpayers equally
§ (then it follows that) The current progressive-rate income tax regime
should be replaced by a flat-rate.
Notice how I’ve had to state that first (major) premise or step in the argument – a step
that is left unstated in my enthymematic representation of it.
What we have here is an argument (it is our argument) that is formally valid.
What that means is this: if I can convince you to accept my first two statements, then you
will have to agree (conclude), logically, with my third statement. Notice, though, how
much argumentation (as we noticed above) I would have to make to do this; the reason of
course is that all of the (many) assumptions packed into the claim/conclusion and in both
the major and minor premises, expressed in either enthymematic or (full) syllogistic
form, are going to have to be supported.
This brief analysis shows us a couple of things. First, as noted, checking your
arguments’ formal validity and coherence in these ways is very useful. What you are
doing is ensuring that from the point of view of purely deductive logic your argument is
valid – that is, coherent. Second, however, it does point up the limitations of using a
deductive model derived from the study of formal (i.e. mathematical) logic to understand
how arguments on practical subjects actually persuade an audience. As we’ve seen, we
know our argument above is valid, but if we think about it formal validity has, at the end
of the day, very little to do in fact with whether or not we are going to be persuasive,
even though it is a necessary condition. Persuasiveness has more to do with the quality
of the arguments we use, and the evidence from fact and authoritative, credible opinion
we use to support the kinds of claims made in the assumptions on which we are relying.
This is the problem that modern rhetorical theory has addressed: can we come up with a
theoretical model of actual, practical argument – of the ways in which we actually
persuade one another on real-world problems, issues, and so forth – which is more
accurate and useful?
Rhetorical Argument: The Toulmin Model
In the later twentieth-century several such models were developed; perhaps the
most interesting and helpful is that developed by Stephen Toulmin. What Toulmin (and
others) noticed was that although given certain assumptions an argument of the form
we’ve been discussing can be formally valid (that is, we can supply the missing premise
and create a valid syllogism), the fact is that its persuasiveness seems in fact to inhere not
so much in formal, deductively logical validity as in whether, and to what extent we can
gain our readers’ assent to the various assumptions which underlie the steps in such an
argument. In other words, there are many ‘hidden’ assumptions or steps in the argument,
each of which has to itself be further argued.
Toulmin’s main point is that real-world argumentation is always a matter more of
probability/the best possible result/compromise, rather than deductive logical certainty,
and therefore the Aristotelian model doesn’t work very well other than as a ‘check’ on
formal validity (which is, he agrees, important), because the readers’ assent (or not) to
these kinds of assumptions is crucial. Toulmin’s question then was: can we come up
with a ‘model’ which better reflects ‘real world’ (as opposed to ‘mathematical’) argument
about real-world problems?
Toulmin then developed just such a model. He first insists that unlike, say,
mathematical reasoning, which is deductive, and ‘closed-system,’ rhetorical reasoning,
which aims to secure an audience’s assent to solutions to problems ‘in the world,’ is
‘open-system’ (indeed his inspiration for this was legal argument), and therefore also
what he calls ‘field-dependent’ – that is, the ‘rules of engagement’ depend in part on the
subject-matter of the debate, the context or ‘rhetorical situation’ within which the debate
is occurring, as well as on formal, logical rules. Hence, Toulmin developed a model to
reflect this process: the ways in which we usually, unlike mathematicians!, try to
persuade one another. Crucially, for Toulmin (think about it!) we most of us always start
with a conclusion (about something or other), and we then go about finding ways to
support that conclusion so as to persuade our audience to agree with us.
So, on Toulmin’s analysis, we START with the conclusion, or main claim, in an
argument. We are, all of us, always immersed in process, in the world – happenings, life-
events – out of which ‘problems’ to be solved arise. Psychologically, we tend to
formulate initial responses/solutions (CLAIMS) to problems first, then hope to prove
them: “I just don’t like progressive-rate income tax … it’s just not fair. I think everyone
should pay the same percentage rate.” Further, these kinds of responses are always
conditioned by the nature of the problems, which fall into certain broadly categorizable
subject areas (hence, the notion that real-world argument is ‘field-dependent).
If we switch our example over to our TeknoSport case example, now, we begin
immediately to see how this works. ‘You’ are immersed in a rhetorical context
conditioned by, among many other factors, your organization, its culture, its past
practices, organizational relationships, and so on. ‘You’ (i.e. representing one block of
opinion) believe that eliminating the STP would be a mistake, and you are now trying to
construct an argument to support that view and persuade Karvinen to adopt it (as his
own!). You didn’t ‘come to that opinion’ by looking at all the evidence and logically
deducing that this is the position you must hold; rather, you ‘hold’ that view based on
your experience and knowledge, and now seek to turn that experience and knowledge
into the basis for an argument to support that view that will lead (logically) someone who
doesn’t hold your view (Karvinen) to come round to your way of thinking. For Toulmin,
this is how we typically ‘reason’ in a practical sense.
So, the model looks something like this:
MAIN ARGUMENT:
Reasons/data, with evidence >>>SO/THEREFORE>>>(QUALIFIERS)>>>CLAIM
from fact, opinion, authority, must/should
experience perhaps
possibly
WARRANT(S)
Coming between the reasons/data and the ‘therefore’ step, and usually
UNSTATED, is what Toulmin calls the ‘Warrant’ for the claim: its justification, which
can often be reduced to a clause beginning with ‘because … – i.e. the ‘backing’ for the
leap from reasons/data to Claim: a logical, persuasive LINK BETWEEN Claim and
Reasons. Put another way, Warrants are the ‘authority to proceed’ in an argument, a
‘case’; in effect, the (often unargued) assumptions, on the readers’ assent to which we
depend in order to ‘make our case’.
This notion of ‘assent’ is crucial to Toulmin’s model: if our audience accepts the
assumptions on which we are relying, then we can proceed with evidence to develop our
Claim, but if warrants are disputed (our assumptions questioned), then of course those
warrants themselves become ‘Claims’ which need argument before the main argument
can proceed. A Warrant, then, just is a ‘general principle’ that justifies the move from
Reasons/Data to Claim, and often most effectively consists of values/principles/beliefs
‘shared’ with our audience. In effect, this is what Locker/Findlay mean by ‘common
ground’ and its importance.
The other key term in Toulmin’s model is ‘rebuttal’; any argument (attempt to
persuade) we make is always subject to opposition, i.e. rebuttal argument. Rebuttal is
usually directed toward either our Warrants (and the backing for them) or our
Reasons/Evidence in support of our claim. Our audience may attempt to demonstrate
why our warrants don’t apply in a particular case, and/or may try to demonstrate that the
reasons and data we’ve produced to support our claim are misrepresented, wrong, or
otherwise flawed.
Let’s take a look at how all this works through a short legal example. Smith
deprives another person of his/her life, and is arrested by the police. The ‘problem’ that
arises is what, if anything, to do with/to Smith; and this problem, and the claims for
action/solution to it are immediately ‘field-dependent’ – the problem falls within the
‘law’ in our society; we do not allow the victim’s family, e.g., to take direct vengeance on
Smith.
In law, we might CLAIM (believe, feel, think) that Smith is guilty of murder.
Our REASONS/DATA for this claim will be the facts/circumstances surrounding the
case that we can ‘prove’, especially e.g. the ‘facts’ that Smith did an act that caused the
death of the victim, and that Smith did this act with the intention of wrongly depriving
the victim of his/her life. Our WARRANT for this (legal) argument will in turn consist
of the elements of the legal definition of murder; this/these are the assumptions, shared
by police, prosecutor, defence lawyer, judge, and jury alike which allow the claim to be
made. Schematically, the argument would look something like this:
Claim: Smith is guilty of murder.
Warrant: (‘We all agree that’) Murder is the intentional taking of a human life without
lawful excuse.
Reasons/Data: i) the evidence shows that Smith pulled the trigger of the gun that killed
Bloggs
ii) Bloggs died from that gunshot
iii) Smith pulled the trigger with the intention of killing Bloggs
iv) Smith did not have any lawful excuse or justification for doing so
In turn, each side will attempt to argue, according to perspective, that the
REASONS/DATA do or don’t fit those assumptions, and/or that the operational
understanding of the assumptions themselves (the ‘law’) is wrong or right/applicable.
Finally, the Toulmin model is helpful because unlike the Aristotelian model it
easily provides for ‘qualifiers’ – another feature of ‘real world’ argument. So, in our
murder example, the judge/jury might end up accepting the prosecutor’s argument that
“Smith is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt of ‘murder’, given a) the facts/evidence and
b) the Warrant (legal definition of murder). Logical certainty is NOT required, in legal or
any other real-world/problem-solving argument; indeed – and crucially – it is not
possible. We are looking always for the ‘best thing to do in the circumstances’, or (in our
hypothetical murder case) to be satisfied that, given what has been proved, it is extremely
likely that Smith did what he was accused of.
You might want to think a little more about how this model of practical
(rhetorical) argument could in fact be helpful in the writing of persuasive messages in our
context. If so, here’s another sample work-up based on the “Rocky Mountain Fitness”
case.
“Rocky Mountain Fitness”: Analysis and Discussion
The following discussion constitutes, in effect, a short ‘workshop’ in which we’ll
attempt to do a pre-drafting analysis of the ‘Rocky Mountain Fitness’ case along much
the same lines as you will do in relation to the “Just Clean Your Hands” scenario
(Assignment #3). We’ll take a look at the case material, and apply some of the concepts
developed more fully in Units 7 and 8.
Briefly, imagine that ‘you’ are the Administrative Assistant to Joseph Mirola,
who is the Claims Manager for Rocky Mountain Mutual (RMM). One of his ‘pet’
projects within the company is its ‘Fitness Centre’. Recently, however, this has come
under threat, specifically from one Zachary Evans, a long-time employee of the company
recently promoted to VP-Operations.
Evans takes a very different view of the Fitness Centre. Essentially, he believes it
should be eliminated, primarily because he considers it (and its use) to be ‘marginal at
best to making money’, which is or should be the main objective of all RMM employees.
Further, he believes that the costs associated with the maintenance of the Fitness Centre
(direct operating costs of approximately $100,000/year together with a capital investment
of $1,000,000.00) do not contribute directly or indirectly to RMM’s profitability, and that
the space devoted to its physical premises could be better utilized if given over to RMM’s
IT (information technology) facilities.
If we work through the case carefully, in fact, we might come up with an
understanding of Evans’ argument that looks something like this:
“The Fitness Centre should be eliminated because it does not contribute to corporate
profits, directly or indirectly.
Evidence:
§ The Fitness Centre was ostensibly built to attract new recruits, but
§ Our competitors don’t do this, and its regular users account for only 35%
of our workforce. So,
§ It clearly hasn’t been and isn’t a ‘recruiting’ factor
§ In fact, its ‘real use’ is by (and it really exists for) ‘fitness fans’
§ Can’t justify the tie-up of capital space and continuing operating costs of
$100K a year for ‘those few’”
That, essentially, is Evans’ apparent position. Mirola, on the contrary, holds a very
different view, for reasons given extensive coverage in the case report. Essentially, faced
with Evans’ position, Mirola wants to argue the following:
“The Fitness Centre should be retained because it does contribute – both directly
and indirectly – to RMM’s profitability, and potentially could do so even more if
its use were effectively promoted.”
This, of course, is where ‘you’ come in! Mirola has asked you to look into all this, i.e. do
some research both internal and external, and come up with an argument that will
persuade Evans to change his mind. So, let’s work through this methodically, and try to
come up with some of the main questions and considerations.
Your purpose for writing would be, rather obviously, to try to change Evans’
mind. We’ve already made a start (above) at understanding his position. This is crucial,
for two reasons: first, it will allow us to present ourselves (i.e. Mirola) as ‘fair’ (ethos),
and second, it will allow us to better understand both the strengths and weaknesses of
Evans’ position and anticipate his objections to our (Mirola’s) position. Let’s take
another look at our enthymematic representation of Evans’ position, with this question
also in mind: can we make a distinction between Evans’ ostensible (stated) reasons and
what may be one or more equally important unstated but actual reasons? Ostensibly,
Evans argues as above: the FC should be eliminated because it does not contribute
directly or indirectly to corporate profit. But if we look more closely at the kinds of
evidence and supporting reasons Evans gives, as outlined above, we might notice
something. The ‘bottom line’ rationale is certainly there, but in addition his language
suggests an emotional objection: that one actual reason is that those who use the FC do
so for ‘fun’, which Evans considers to be contrary not only to the profitability of RMM
but also contrary to his image of what a ‘proper’ or ‘true’ business person/corporate
employee should be. In other words, FC use ‘by the few’ is an indulgence, incompatible
with ‘business.’ That emotional position could certainly be one of Evans’ motivations,
and if so we have a problem: how to come up with an argument to retain the FC which
both a) overcomes Evans’ ‘money’ objections to it and b) overcomes his psychological
objections to it. Putting this another way, we would want to come up with a motivational
argument – something that will ‘move’ Evans toward accepting our position in addition
to appeals to evidence/facts (logos).
As we know from our text, people are usually unwilling to admit to holding
‘emotional reasons’ for a position, and (important) Mirola can’t attack those reasons
anyway without opening himself up to the counter-charge that he just wants to keep the
FC because he likes it! So, our challenge is this: can we come up with an argument in
favour of retaining the FC that speaks to money, and frame it in such a way that Evans
could ‘save face’ by adopting it as his own position because it is consistent with his
image of himself as a ‘hard-nosed’, profit-driven, ‘no time for fun’ business person?
Given this problem – implicit in the rhetorical situation in which we find
ourselves – what then are our possible lines of argument; how strong a case can we
make? Recall our three basic ‘appeals’: to reason (logos), to (our own) credibility
(ethos), and to emotion (pathos). The appeal to reason here will be central, and in fact
the case report itself contains significant evidence that you could use to demonstrate that
Evans’ position is not correct; that it happens that there is a correlation between FC use
and ‘profit’.
More tricky is the question of Mirola’s credibility. Credibility in our context
derives from two main sources: ‘expert’ status, and/or ‘organizational power’. Arguably,
relative to Evans, Mirola certainly does not have organizational power. On the other
hand, while he doesn’t have any technical ‘expert’ status on the subject matter
(correlation between exercise/fitness and productivity/profitability), that status could be
constructed for him by representing him as being:
§ Factual (don’t have him claim what he can’t demonstrate with evidence)
§ Specific/detailed (explaining why, exactly, will retaining the FC be good
for RMM and not just ‘fun for the few’? What are the precise, concrete
benefits that will flow through to the company?)
§ Reliable
Emotional appeal is tricky in this context, as noted above. To reiterate, the
question would be how to frame Mirola’s argument so as to make Evans ‘want’ to retain
the FC? One way to do this is, of course, to establish a common ground. Here, there
doesn’t seem much to go on, but there is a possible way in: the ‘recruiting’ issue. Recall:
the original motivation behind construction of the FC was to create a
recruitment/retention device. There does, however, indeed appear to be only weak
evidence, if any, to support the notion that the FC has been and is an effective recruiting
tool for RMM. That in turn is, of course, one of Evans’ main ostensible points. So, we
might wonder: is there a way we could ‘frame’ the argument so as to get Mirola and
Evans onto ‘common ground’, and as part of that use the ‘recruiting issue’ as a
‘throwaway’, i.e. as a concession to Evans, to help get him to be more receptive to our
position?
A crucial point here is mentioned in the case at page 28: we are told that while
Evans can be “ … hardheaded and stubborn … he is also fair and listens carefully to
others’ opinions.” Consequently, even if as we suspect he has a kind of emotive reason
for not wanting to retain the FC, it would appear that he might be open to being
persuaded otherwise, provided we can construct an effective case. In turn, this strongly
suggests that we use the classic ‘indirect problem-solving’ pattern: we expect resistance,
certainly, but we can also expect that logic will in fact be more important than emotion in
overcoming resistance, even if (we suspect) there is a strong emotive component to
Evans’ position.
Putting all this together, a possible enthymematic representation of our case might
be something like this:
“The FC should be retained because although it is true that there is little evidence
for its effectiveness as a recruiting tool, there is convincing evidence that a) it
contributes both directly and indirectly to RM’s profitability now, and b) could do
so even more extensively in the future if its use were developed and promoted
throughout the company.”
Now let’s expand this a little, and sketch out a brief ‘Toulmin analysis’ of this
argument. It might look something like this:
Claim: The FC should be retained.
Data (reasons, facts, authoritative opinion supporting the Claim; there are several
– I list just a couple here):
§ FC contributes directly to productivity
§ FC contributes directly to reduction of absenteeism (sick time)
Now, these (and all) reasons will of course need to be supported by (demonstrated by)
evidence; that evidence is present in the case report. Next, we need to consider our
Warrants, the logical, persuasive connections between our Data and Claim. This is
where ‘common ground’ (assumptions held in common) come into play; again, below are
just a couple of the several obvious main warrants:
Warrants:
§ We all want to maintain and increase RMM’s profit margins
§ We all agree that keeping operating costs, both direct and indirect, down
helps with this aim
§ Those costs can, and do, include costs incurred through absenteeism
You might now begin to see how this works! Remember, ‘rebuttal’ (i.e. by Evans, here)
can be directed against both Data and Warrants; your language needs to frame both
carefully, but essentially you should be able to construct a ‘case’ along these lines from
the evidence contained in the case report (the various figures/statistics mentioned
therein).
Let’s conclude this discussion with a more specific example. There’s little doubt
that we could get Evans’ agreement on, let’s say, the ‘costs’ of absenteeism. Employees
who miss work through illness ‘cost’ RMM. The question is (see case, page 27), is there
a reasonable correlation between FC use and reduced absenteeism (“users missed an
average of six days a year, whereas non-users missed twelve days”)? As ‘you’ and Joe
note, this fact in and of itself doesn’t prove anything (in a logically necessary sense).
There might be a causal relation, there might not; FC users simply might, after all, be
‘healthier’ anyway, or more driven/highly motivated, and so on. Nevertheless, the
statistics do suggest a correlation, which can be further supported by the subsequent
evidence drawn from Joe’s Wellness Program. In other words, on this point alone you
could construct a step in your argument to Evans which presents support in the form of
factual evidence, and which further boosts Mirola’s credibility by showing him to be
careful, self-critical, and willing to ‘test’ his own views further.
http://bcq.sagepub.com/
Quarterly
Business Communication
http://bcq.sagepub.com/content/61/1/26.citation
The online version of this article can be found at:
DOI: 10.1177/108056999806100103
1998 61: 26Business Communication Quarterly
Jane Thomas
Rocky Mountain Mutual: Promoting Fun or Fitness?
Published by:
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On behalf of:
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26
CASE 1
Rocky Mountain Mutual:
Promoting Fun or Fitness?
Jane Thomas
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
&dquo;1:’: U are the administrative assistant to Joseph Mirola, the ClaimsO U are the administrative assistant to Joseph Mirola, the Claims
Manager for Rocky Mountain Mutual, a growing insurance company
which just three years ago built a new headquarters complex in a
fairly remote suburban area in Utah. No expense was spared for the
complex, which included professionally landscaped grounds, elegant ,
offices, and a Fitness Center featuring an indoor walking/running
track, a small lap swimming pool, and an exercise room with free
weights and exercise machines. The cost for the Fitness Center alone
was almost a million dollars, and a small staff was hired to supervise
the activities. A major reason for building the Fitness Center was that
no sports club facilities were conveniently available near the firm’s
headquarters, and management considered exercise to be an impor-
tant benefit to offer its employees. In fact, with its plans to grow the
company in the next few years, management touted the Fitness Cen-
ter as a major draw for young employees, especially because of the
somewhat remote location of the firm’s headquarters.
Promoting Health and Fitness
Many of Rocky Mountain’s 250 employees use the Fitness Center; in
fact, the center is often crowded before the workday and during lunch.
Joe Mirola, your boss, began to use the Fitness Center as soon as it
opened and now averages five days a week, either walking or swim-
ming, before work. Since he began using the center regularly, Joe has
enthusiastically described an increase in his energy and productivity.
Because of Joe’s enthusiasm for the Center, you have started exercis-
ing there, too.
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27
Since Joe Mirola has benefited greatly from using the Fitness Cen-
ter and because, as Claims Manager, he has an interest in healthcare
costs, he asked you to review the company records to see if the center
has had any impact on employee healthcare costs or on absenteeism.
Looking over the medical costs for the previous two years, you
reported to Joe that Rocky Mountain employees who used the Fitness
Center did have lower medical costs. You found that the 25 percent of
employees (62 people) who used the center once or twice a week
showed medical costs of approximately $300 per person (for a total of
$ i 8,600). The costs for the io percent of employees (25 people) who
used the facility three times a week or more were only $100 a person
(total cost $2,500). In contrast, the 65 percent of employees (163 peo-
ple) who never used the Fitness Center rang up medical bills of
approximately $500 per person (total cost $81,500).
&dquo;The absenteeism rates were really intriguing, too,&dquo; you told Joe.
&dquo;Fitness Center users missed half as many workdays as non-users.
Users missed an average of six days per year, whereas non-users
missed twelve days. Although I know that these statistics do not prove
that using the Fitness Center caused lower medical costs or lower
absenteeism,&dquo; you continued, &dquo;they do seem to confirm the results of
so many scientific studies we all read about in the newspapers: exer-
cise improves people’s health.&dquo;
&dquo;Right,&dquo; Joe replied. &dquo;The lower medical costs and the fewer work-
days missed by the fitness regulars may be due to the fact that they
were healthier people in the first place. Even if they didn’t go to the
Fitness Center, they would likely have fewer doctor visits than their
couch-potato colleagues! On the other hand, lack of exercise is a
national trend contributing to obesity and other health problems
which raise medical costs. So even though we can’t prove that the Fit-
ness Center lowers certain employees’ medical costs or reduces their
absences, I do believe that exercising in the Fitness Center contributes
to their state of good health. If the company could get a majority of
the employees to exercise at the Fitness Center regularly, overall med-
ical costs and absenteeism would probably both go down.&dquo;
Partly because the company records on healthcare costs and absen-
teeism supported Joe Mirola’s own belief in the value of the Fitness
Center, he began considering ways to encourage employees in the
Claims Department to take advantage of the facility. Although he
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28
talked-up the Fitness Center frequently and provided a strong exam-
ple by his own daily use, the number of users from the department
rose only slightly. Dissatisfied with this level of participation, Mirola
decided to be more proactive by instituting a Wellness Program for his
department, using peer encouragement and team-building concepts to
promote use of the Fitness Center.
Since the Wellness Program began eight months ago, productivity
in the Claims Department has risen by 18 percent and sick days have
decreased by 5 percent, as compared with the previous eight-month
period. Most of the departmental employees are trying to use the cen-
ter at least twice a week, and some have even started support teams to
encourage each other to continue their exercise programs. Morale
seems better than ever, and Joe Mirola has started to talk about the
Wellness Program with colleagues in other parts of the company. He
believes that increased use of the Fitness Center would benefit the
firm, not just the Claims Department.
Proposing to Eliminate the Health and Fitness Center
Recently, Zachary Evans was promoted to Vice President of Opera-
tions. Zach has been with the company for 25 years and is likable,
smart, creative, and successful in increasing profits. He is known to
routinely work i 8-hour days and to dislike dealing with issues he con-
siders marginal to making profits (such as employee benefits). He can
be hardheaded and stubborn, but he is also fair and listens carefully to
others’ opinions.
Currently, Zach is preparing a report for the President, CEO, and
the Board of Directors in which he will outline his ideas for improv-
ing profits and reducing costs. He has let it be known that among his
suggestions is a proposal to close the Fitness Center. At a recent one-
on-one meeting with Zach Evans, Joe Mirola mentions his strong
views against closing the center, noting how much the facility means
to him and his department. Zach nods and responds that the Fitness
Center is nice, but it is simply too expensive to run. Including the
salaries for the Fitness Center staff, maintenance of the machines, and
other expenses of the facility, the costs of the Center are almost
i oo, ooo a year.
&dquo;The number of users doesn’t anywhere near justify such costs,&dquo;
Zach says. &dquo;According to the log of Fitness Center users, only about
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29
35 percent of our employees use the facility on a regular basis. I admit
I don’t use it myself; I find exercise a bore-a waste of time, in fact.
But that’s beside the point. The fact is that the majority of our
employees are not health and fitness fans. A whopping 65 percent
don’t use the Fitness Center at all. Of the regulars, only about io per-
cent could be called frequent users, logging into the center three or
more times per week. We can’t afford to run such an expensive facility
for the fun of a few. Besides, as we expand and hire more employees,
we need the space. The Fitness Center could be adapted to accommo-
date the growing Corporate Information Systems Department.&dquo;
&dquo;Wait a minute!&dquo; Joe says. &dquo;The Fitness Center is not ’for the fun of
a few’! It’s for the better health of many of our employees, and as
folks see the benefits, more will start using it. Also, it’s only three years
since we invested a lot in the Center, and it’s a great recruiting
device.&dquo;
&dquo;I hear you,&dquo; Zach nods. &dquo;However, I still don’t think we need the
Fitness Center to be competitive for new hires. Only about a quarter
of the nation’s businesses have exercise facilities, and none of our big
competitors for talent has a health club in this area. Frankly, I believe
that the reason for keeping the Fitness Center is mainly for the recre-
ational enjoyment of a rather small minority of our employees. That
just doesn’t seem enough to justify these costs or the continued use of
this space. But look, Joe, I’m certainly open to hear your views. Why
don’t you persuade me on paper. I’ll review your arguments before I
begin preparing my report.&dquo;
Joe Mirola expresses satisfaction at Zach’s invitation to write him
a memo on why Rocky Mountain should keep the Fitness Center
open.
&dquo;Just remember, Joe, you’ll have to come up with some pretty per-
suasive arguments,&dquo; Zach says with a smile, &dquo;to get me to change my
mind! &dquo;
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139
CASE 10
TeknoSport: Communicating
to Prevent Change
Priscilla S. Rogers
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
AS A REGIONAL MANAGER of Sales forTeknoSport,you
oversee the selling of all TeknoSport products and services for four of
the company’s stores in the metropolitan area of Helsinki, Finland.
Founded in 1980 in Turku, a major city in west Finland, TeknoSport is
a mid-sized, highly competitive retail business specializing in sports
training equipment with 19 of its own stores throughout Finland,
Sweden, and Norway. In addition to offering standard brand-name
products, the firm also has some special products manufactured for it
under the TeknoSport label, products ranging from ski caps to elec-
tronic devices. Over the years, TeknoSport has developed a reputation
for selling technologically innovative products and athletic product
packages including electronic equipment, such as cardiac monitors,
electronic weights, and video-playback systems. For example,
TeknoSport recently won a lucrative contract to upgrade all the ath-
letic equipment at the Kerttula Sports Arena in Raisio near Turku, as
well as to install video-playback systems for athletes and coaches to
review performance. In fact, the Raisio tiedottaa (Raisio Informs), a city
paper distributed free to every household in Raisio, published a fea-
ture story on this effort. It had a photograph of Olympic Gold medal-
ist, Mr. Pertti Karppinen, and one of TeknoSport’s new hires, Mrs.
Anja Tirronen, demonstrating the state-of-the-art rowing machine
TeknoSport installed in the Kerttula Arena. The article compared Mr.
Karppinen’s rowing ability with Mrs. Tirronen’s extensive knowledge
about the rowing equipment.
TeknoSport’s Sales Training Program (STP)
Since 1986, new hires for TeknoSport’s sales staff have been required
to complete a rigorous, five-day Sales Training Program (STP).
140
Although TeknoSport hires sales personnel with excellent athletic
backgrounds, including both practical experience and education in
athletics, few are familiar with all the different sports the company
caters to. Moreover, new sales personnel have much to learn about
selling the equipment, establishing and maintaining customer con-
tacts, using the firm’s complex communication system, and fitting in
with the company’s culture, all of which are covered in the STP.
TeknoSport’s STP is designed to train new sales personnel in special-
ized skills for demonstrating products (often requiring quite technical
knowledge), helping customers to select the products best suited to
their needs, and teaching customers to use the equipment they pur-
chase. In the STP, sales staff also learn methods for using the com-
pany’s communications system and the Internet for researching
products, health-related issues, new developments in the athletic
equipment industry, as well as for accessing customer data and report-
ing sales information.
Based on your company knowledge and sales experience, you
believe that much of TeknoSport’s sales growth can be attributed
directly to the STP. The year after STP was implemented, new employ-
ees’ sales on average rose 10 percent over the cohort from the previ-
ous year, and the new hires in subsequent years have improved on
that figure some every year. In fact, despite increasing competition
from several firms, the annual sales for all TeknoSport’s employees &dquo;
have averaged 15 percent above the industry average since STP was
originated.
z
STP Opened to Long-time Sales Personnel ..
While the STP was originally designed to train new hires, in 1992
some of the sessions were redesigned and opened to long-time sales
personnel. This decision was based on two key factors. As the product
base expanded and sales staff had to do more research on individual
client’s needs, long-time staff benefited from those parts of the sales
training program devoted to new products. In addition, TeknoSport’s
new communications system was continually being updated (allowing
individual salespersons to handle more customers, for example), so
old hands needed communications training too. Since all the long-
time sales personnel needed periodic retraining to learn about the
new products and the modifications to the communications system,
141
the redesigned STP sessions for experienced employees became a reg-
ular feature. In fact, one STP session was developed as a forum in
which new and old sales personnel could share information on cus-
tomers and sales strategies, as well as brainstorm about potential new
product packages.
Currently, the STP is offered at TeknoSport headquarters in Turku,
each quarter to both new and experienced sales personnel. Five days
of STP classes are mandatory for new hires. On a voluntary basis, vet-
eran employees may attend two days of one STP offering each year,
specifically those days focusing on new products, package design, and
communications. Since the redesign of STP was completed in 1992 to
meet the needs of both new and experienced sales personnel, the sem-
inar-size classes have been fully enrolled, with long-time employees
typically waiting a year to get into the Program because of its popu-
larity. Participant survey evaluations (on a 5-point scale) increased
from an average rating of 3.8 for the old program to 4.7 for the
redesigned STP. Sales personnel, both old and new, regularly praise
the STP, saying that it provides information about new products that
improves their ability to sell better than their competitors. Long-time
salespersons’ comments on the survey claim that they believe the STP
sessions help them integrate new products, create innovative product
packages that are unique to TeknoSport, and manage their workloads
more efficiently by fully using TeknoSport’s communications capabili-
ties. New hires report that the STP builds their confidence, fosters
team spirit, and helps them feel they are an important part of
TeknoSport.
Proposal to Eliminate the STP
At your meeting earlier this week of the regional sales managers,
TeknoSport’s new president, Harri Karvinen, came to make a couple
announcements. First, the company still had not found the right per-
son to be Vice President for Marketing & Sales (replacing a long-time
employee who left to take a position in a British firm), so he would
continue to act in that key position. Second, he and the Board were
dedicated &dquo;to cut the fat out of TeknoSport, to make the company
leaner.&dquo; Speaking bluntly, Karvinen said, &dquo;We currently need to focus
our resources on new product development and on improving our
142
communications technology. To compete effectively, we plan to elimi-
nate non-essential programs, like STP.&dquo;
When you questioned the proposal to drop STP, Karvinen contin-
ued : &dquo;Sales techniques can be learned through immediate and direct
experience with products and customers. An apprenticeship system in
which new sales personnel work side-by-side with experienced hands
would work well, as it does in many Finnish companies, especially
now that we have less turnover and more seasoned sales personnel.
Communications systems can also be learned on the job, particularly
if we put money into improving and simplifying them. After some
deliberation, the Board and I favor a buddy system, linking experienced
and new employees and utilizing some of the quiet time in the stores.
Also, I think it might be cheaper and smarter if we sent some of our
most experienced sales personnel to professional training programs.
They could then do an even more effective job of one-on-one training
with the new hires.&dquo; Karvinen paused and then said: &dquo;At a certain
point, there’s no more we can learn from ourselves, and we need to
spend our training dollars on getting new knowledge. Besides, the STP
cannot substitute for real experience with customers under the guid-
ance of seasoned sales personnel.&dquo;
Karvinen wasn’t done yet. &dquo;This kind of company classroom train-
ing is certainly not essential,&dquo; he said. &dquo;I believe that current sales per-
sonnel can provide effective on-the-job training for new hires at least
as effectively as the STP. Moreover, using an apprenticeship system
instead of the STP would allow us more resources for technological
developments, both for our product line and communications system.
We have to remember that the cost of the STP is not only in Finn
marks spent on the program, but also in time and in potential sales
that are lost every time STP is offered. When seasoned sales personnel
attend the STP, they’re not selling, and neither are the three STP train-
ers, two of whom started the program and all of whom are among
TeknoSport’s best salespeople.&dquo;
Response to Karvinen’s Plan
You and other regional sales managers all expressed your concerns
about the pending decision to drop the STP, especially without a full
airing of views. You reminded Karvinen that return customers
account for over 65 percent of TeknoSport’s sales and that market sur-
143
veys show that customers rank knowledgeable sales people as their
number one reason for buying from TeknoSport rather than from a
competitor. You also explained how the STP is really helping long-
time sales personnel to become fully knowledgeable about the new
products and the new communications systems, something they never
had adequate time to do when training was only for new hires.
Karvinen responded, &dquo;Resource redistribution is always difficult.
Of course we don’t want to cut any programs, but change is necessary.
I understand that the STP has been good for TeknoSport in the past
when we had so much turnover in the sales staff, but to be competi-
tive in the future, we must commit more resources to technological
developments for new product packages, as well as further improve-
ments in our communications system. If we’re going to consider
keeping STP now that most of our sales personnel are highly experi-
enced,&dquo; he continued, &dquo;we need some very substantial reasons for
doing so. Everyone on the Board agrees that this redistribution of our
resources is best for TeknoSport right now. If there’s something vital
about the STP we’ve not taken into account, you need to let us know
right away,&dquo; he concluded.
Although Karvinen had been with TeknoSport for only about three
years before being elevated to president, he is respected by all the
regional sales managers for his knowledge of the sports training busi-
ness, experience in sales, and background in physical fitness training.
Karvinen’s promotion last month was part of a company-wide effort
to help TeknoSport become even more competitive. Although he had
never said much about STP, his plan to eliminate the training program
took you and the other regional sales managers by surprise. You had
simply assumed that he, seemingly like everyone else at TeknoSport,
would consider the STP to be at the heart of TeknoSport’s continued
success.
Uo
,,.
..
DESIGNING DOCUMENTS,
SLIDES, AND SCREENS
4
LEARNING OUTCOMES
L01 Explain the importance L04 Describe special features
of effective design of website design
L02 List eight guidelines for LOS Discuss presentation slide design
effective page design
L06 Explain how to test design usability
L03 Describe six steps to
create good visuals
AN INSIDE PERSPECTIVE
Good document design focuses on the reader. Imagine a particu lar reader trying to do something with your document . Document design is not about decoration, but rather about guid ing the reader through
a t ask. For example, designers are ” problem solvers, not decorators , so t he
design serves t he structure and funct ionality of the website while providing a
rich interactive experience for the user, • says Halifax-based Malcolm Fraser,
former president of MODE (ISL) and now vice president of FCV Interact ive. His
designers are extending their award-winn ing ways with mobile, mapping, and
social media technologies.
To test a document, ask people to do something with it, such as complete a
short survey . Then ask them how well it worked; they wil l tell you what they under-
stand and what they don’t. Take t ime to observe them as well; they will show you
when the instructions are unclear or when they can ‘t f ind the right information.
Good document design for traditional and digital media is good business. The
process begins and ends with people: f rom those in account management and
consulting who ask the right q_uest ions and develop the strategies, to those who
bring them to life, to those who monitor q_ua lity and the end-users themselves.
In addition to being vice president and man-
aging director of FCV Interactive in Halifax,
Malcolm Fraser is also board chair of the
Art Gallery of Nova Scotia and chair of the
Research Committee for Destination canada.
Previously he was founder of the digital con-
sultancy firm MODE (formerly /SL). Named ()()e
of Atlantic Canada’s top 50 CEOs for five years
and inducted into the Top 50 CEO Hall of Fame
2013, he is proud of his design team.
Good design saves money by preventing errors and reducing phone calls,
emails, texts, or tweets f rom customers who don’t understand what they are sup-
posed to do. Employees are then freed up to provide even better customer ser-
vice. Good design shows customers that you care about their t ime and want to
make tasks easier for them. Isn’ t that the best marketing a company can have?
Source: ISL Web Marketing & OevelopmenV Jive
Photographic.
Good document design is as important for your college or
university papers, reports, or p resentations as it is for your
job application package (see a lso Chapters 11, 12, and 13).
Document design is where you can show both your creative
flair and your attention to detail.
Research shows that easy-to-read documents e nhance your
credibility and build an image of you as a professional, compe-
tent person. 1 Effective visual and verbal content depends o n your
understanding, adapting, and implementing conventions and
codes so that you are recognized as a member of the professional
group to which you aspire to belong. “Conventions; according
to Charles Kostelnick and Michael Hassett, “prompt rather than
stifle invention” and are shaped and reshaped by social and c ul-
tural nomts and technological innovations.2 Good d esign is as
important for short docwnents a s it is fo r long ones: one-page
letters and memos, resumes, reports and proposals, Web pages,
social media, and newsletters all need to be clear and accessible.
L01
THE IMPORTANCE
OF EFFECTIVE DESIGN
Goo d d ocument design saves time and money, reduces lega l
liabilities, and b uilds goodwill. A well-designed document
loo ks inviting, friendly , and e asy to read. Effective des ign
a lso gro ups ideas v isually, making th e structure of the doc-
ument more o bvious so the document is easier to read. A
visual s ign of an o rga nization’s identity, design creates brand
p romise.
Picking up on the cruise ship theme of a fundraising event
held by the Mental Health Foundation of Nova Scotia, Malcolm
Fraser’s digital team, now part of FCV Interactive ( •• “An Inside
Persp ective”), created a visually pleasing application d esigned
to keep p articipants engaged through interactivity. The appli-
cation displayed a race between cruise s hips, each tied to o ne
of five performers. Each donation on behalf of performers
propelled their cruise s hip furtl1 er in tl1e race. The design kept
participants engaged witll the event a nd helped tlle founda tion
do uble its o n-s ite ftmdra ising.3
Whe n document design is poor, organizations, individuals,
and even society can suffer. Design can detennine whetller we
read fin e print and know and act on our rights Ethics
and Lega l: “A False Sense of Security”), or whether we know
what is in our foo d o r h ealtll products and ma ke healthy deci-
s ions. For example, poor d esign, planning, and ma na gement
of tlle re build of the famed Bluenose IT-which has come to
sy mbolize Canada (on the Cana dia n dime since 1937) as much
as Nova Scotia shipbuilding reputation-has cost Nova Scotia
$25 million. The Auditor General’s scathing report identified
flaws that threaten tlle schooner’s life in “changed order pro-
cess” and design specifications, ma king steering so hard it
needed a hydraulic system.4
84 • PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
The design of the “Fund-Racer• application added to fun and funds at
a February 2014 fundraiser for the Mental Health Foundation of Nova
Scotia.
Source: Jen Polegatto, Web Designer. ISL Web Marketing & Development.
DESIGN AS PART OF YOUR
WRITING PROCESS(ES)
Design isn’ t something to “tack on” when y ou have finished
writing. Indeed, the best docum ents, slides, and screens ar e
created when you think about desi gn at each stage of your
writing process( es ). For example:
• As you plan, think about your audience. Are they s killed
readers? Are they busy? Will they read the document
strai ght through or skip around in it? Will they access the
docwn ent on a mobile device?
• As you write, incorporate lists and headings. Use v i sual s
to convey numerical data clearly and forcefully (see ••
“Designing Visuals” later in this chapter).
• Get feedback f rom people w ho will be using your docu-
ment. What parts of the document do they find hard to
understand? Do they need mor e information?
• As you r evise, check your draft against the guidelines in
this chapter .
Online bank cust omers rely on a f alse sense of security promoted
by marketing and the refund guarant ees of Canada’s five major
banks, according to study authors Paul Van Oorschot. Canada
Research Chair in Network and Software Security, Carleton
University, and PhD student Mohammad Mannan.
If they t ook the time to check the fine print, customers would
find that ” 100% online security guarantees· are • conditional on
fulfilling complicat ed security req,uirements: A survey of 123
t echnically advanced users showed they fail to fulfill those req,uire-
ments. To expect average people to do so is “extremely na’ive,”
L02
GUIDELINES FOR
PAGE DESIGN
Use the ei ght guidelines in Figure 4.1 to create visually attrac-
tive, user-friendly documen ts.
Figure 4.1 Guidelines for Page Design
1. Use whit e space to separate and emphasize points.
2 . Use headings to group points and lead
the reader through the document.
3. Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.
4. Use no more than two fonts in a single document.
5. Use ragged right margins for business communications.
6. Put important elements in the top left and
lower right q_uadrants of the page.
7. Use a grid of imaginary columns to unify
visuals and other elements in a document .
8. Use highlight ing, decorat ive devices,
and colour in moderation.
1. Use Wh ite Space to Separate
and Emphasize Points
White sp ace-the empty space on the page-mak es material
easier to read by emphasizing the material that it separates fr om
the r est of the text. To create white space, follow these guidelines:
• Use headings.
• Use a mix of paragraph lengths (most no l o nger than seven
k eyed Jines). It’s OK for a paragr aph to be just o ne sentence.
First and l ast paragraphs, in particular, should be short.
• Use lists.
• Use tabs or indents-not spacing- to align items vertically.
the study argues. Claims that users could comply ·in minutes•
are unrealistic. The average user could take hours if not days.
The study concludes that most will be ineligible for the 100%
reimbursement guarant ees and that reassuring claims about
completing online banking with • confidence” and ·peace of mind”
are • no more than a marketing slogan which misleads users:
A Vancouver Sun editorial concludes that the banks need to
redesign to make the processes less “compl icated and risky.• Or,
they should “shoulder more of the risk-without hiding behind all
the fine print :
•Based on Mohammad Mannan and Paul C. Van Oorschot. “‘Security and Usability: The Gap in Real world Online Banking.H New Securjty Paradigms
Workshop (NSPW) 2007. accessed March 7. 2011. http:/ jwww.csl.toronto.edu/ -mmannan/publications;online-banking nspw07 : “‘The Onus for Safe
Online Banking Falls More on Banks than on Clients,” Vancouver Sun, April 15, 2008, accessed March 7, 2011. http:/ ;www.canada.com;vancowersun/
newsjedrtorialjstory.html?id=qbaqbb07·4ef6 475b b70b Sarah Schmidt, ·A False Sense of Security,” Ottawa Citizen, AprillO, 2008.
CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AN D SCREENS 85
• According to Design Management Institute President Carole
Bilson, · Design is the last differentiator.• Over 10 years, the
Design Value Index reported 14 design companies, such as
Apple, Disney, Nike, and IBM , ·outperformed the S&P 500
by 21 qj6,” Having designers at the table from the start con-
tributes to innovation and enhances “user experience.”
• Rewriting its pol icy and procedures manuals saved FedEx
$400,000 in increased productivity in the first year. More
searches for information were successful, and more of them
could be completed in less than three minutes.
• A Sabre computer reservation manual was cut from
100 pages to 20, saving $1 q,ooo just in producing the
document.
Using Building Information Modelling’s (BIM)
dimensional digital representation rather than traditional
drawings, General Motors saved 25 weeks in the collaborative
design and build of its Aint Global V6 Engine Plant expansion.
A 2008 study showed that diners will spend on average
$5.55 more on a meal if restaurants drop the dollar symbol
from their menus.
Digital photos from photo-sharing website Aickr of the 65
parks of the East Bay Regional Park District, California,
proved a way to update print and Web
rials. By January 2010, 540 Aickr members had posted
5 ,816 photos, while visitors to the park district’s website had
doubled to a million visitors.
•Based on Graham F. Scott, Design Matters,” canadian Business. April 2016, 3q- 4Q; Jay Mead, the Value Added for Technical
Documentat ion: A Review of Research and Practice,” Technical CommunicaHon 45, no. 3 {August lqqa): 353-37q; Andrea W.K. Lee, Information
Modelling: Canadian Repon on Busjness, August 26. 2016; Sarah Schmidt, “Diners Will Pay More for Food Wrthout the$,” Vancouver Sun,
August 14. 2008. accessed August 15. 2008, http:/ ;www.canada.com;vancouversunjnewsjstory.html?id=331b1eeQ.447e4ffO.a81a 2c15cdc073ca;
lsa Pott·Jones, ·Photo Finish.M Communication World, September- October 2010: 40-42.
• Use nwnbered lists when tl1e m unber or seq_uence of i tems
is exact.
• Use b ullet s (large dots or squares) when the m unber and
seq_uence don’t matter.
When you use a Jist, ma ke sure all of tl1e i tems in it are par –
allel (see •• Chapter 3) and f it into the structure of the sen tence
introducing the list.
X FAULTY:
The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in
job interviews:
1. Base q_uestions on the j ob description.
2. Questioning t echniq_ues.
3 . Selection and training of interviewers.
V”‘ PARALLEL:
The following suggesti ons can help empl oyers avoid bias in
job interviews:
1. Base q_uestions on the j ob description.
2. Ask the same questions of all appl icants.
3 . Select and tra in interviewers carefully.
V”‘ ALSO PARALLEL:
Employers can avoi d bias in job interviews by
1. Basing q_uestions on the job description.
2. Asking the same questions of all applicants.
3 . Selecting and training interviewers carefully.
Figure 4.2 shows an original k eyed document. In
Figure 4.3, the same document has been impr oved by using
shorter paragraphs, lists, and headings. These devices ta ke
space. When saving space i s essential, it’s better to cut the text
and k eep white space and headings.
As George Miller has shown, our short-term memories can
hol d o nly seven plus or minus two bits of infonnation. 5 Only
after those bits are processed and put into long-term memory can
we assinillate new infonnation. Large amounts of infonnation
will be easier to process if they are grouped into three to seven
chunks r ather than presented as indivi dual i tems.
2. Use Headings to Group Points and Lead
the Reader t hrough t he Document
B eading s (see Chapter 11) ar e wor ds, s hort phrases, or
short senten ces that group points and divi de your document
into sections. Headings and subh eadings enable r eader s
to see at a gl an ce h ow the docum ent i s organized, to turn
q_uickly to secti ons of special interest, and to compare an d
contr ast points mor e easily . Headings al so break up the page,
making i t look less f ormi dable and more inter esting. Follow
t h ese guidelines w h en creating headings for your document:
• Mak e headings specifi c.
• Ensure each heading covers all the material until the next
heading.
• Keep headings at any one level all notu1S, all com-
pl ete sentences, or all q_uestions.
Headings may be top i c or functional (or generic) or talking
or informative. Functional headings (e.g., Background,
Budget, Recommendations) describe general topi cs or func-
tions; infonnative headings (e.g., Employee Survey Supports
86 PART 1 THE BUILDING B LOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION
Figure 4.2 A Document wit h Poor Visual Impact
X Full capital
letters make
the title hard to
read
MONEY DEDUCTED FROM YOUR WAGES TO PAY CREDITORS
When you buy goods on credit. the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage
Assignmen t form allowing it to deduct money f rom your wages if you do not pay your
bill. When you buy on credit. you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each
week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate.
It must contain the name of your present employer. your social insurance number, the
amount of money loaned, the rate of interest. the date when payments are due. and your
signature. The words · wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of the form and
also near the line for your signature. Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment
agreement. Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the following
conditions are met: 1. You have to be more than forty days late in payment of What you
owe; 2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and
a copy of the Wage Assignment form; and 3 . You and Roysner must receive a notice
from the creditor at least twen ty days in advance stating that the creditor plans to make
a demand on your wages. This twenty-day notice gives you a chance to correct the
problems yourself. If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold 15% of each
paycheo..ue until your bill is paid and give this money to your creditor.
X Long para-
‘- graph is visually
uninviting
X Important
Information Is
hard to find
If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue
against it by filing a legal document called a “defence.·· Once you file a defence, Ro\Jsner
will not withhold any money from you. However. be sure you are right before you file a
defence. If you are wrong. you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs
for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right. the creditor has to pay all these costs.
New Tw itter Policy) add information and interest. Functional
headings mak e good sense in regular or routine reports (trip or
progress, for instance) and in defusing emotions in response to
documents on sensitive issues. Informative headings can help
readers think about issues when tl1ey are clear and concrete.
Vagu eness (e.g., .Mov ing Forward in a New Era) will do little
to conjure linages and clarify emphases.
In a Jetter or memo, key main h eadings even witll tlle left-
hand ma rgin m bold. Capitalize tlle first letters of tlle first
word and of otl1er major words; use lowercase for a ll oilier
letters. (See Figure 4.3 for an example.) Use subheadings only
when you have at least two subdivisions under a given main
heading. In a report, you may need more tl1an two levels of
headings Figure 11.7).
3. Limit the Use of Words Set
in All Capital Letters
We recognize words by tlleir shapes (see Figure 4.4).6 In capi-
tals, all words are rectangular; letters Jose tlle descenders and
ascenders tllat make reading go 19% more q,uickly.7 Use full
capitals sparmgly.
4 . Use No More Than Two Fonts
in a Single Document
F o n t s are unified styles of type. Each font comes in sev-
eral sizes and usually in several styles (e.g., bold, italic,
etc.). In fixed typefaces, every Jetter takes tlle same space;
for example, an i takes tlle same space as a w. Courier and
Prestige Elite are fixed fonts. Computers usually offer propor-
tional type faces as well, where wider letters take more space
tllan narrower letters. Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, and
Aria! are proportional fonts.
Se rif fonts have little extensions, called serifs, from
tlle main strokes. (In Figure 4.5, look at tlle feet on tlle r in
New Courier and tlle flick on tlle top of tlle d in Lucida.) New
Courier, Elite, Times Roman, Palatino, and Lucida Calligraphy
are serif fonts. Serif fonts are easier to read because tlle ser-
ifs help tl1e eyes move from Jetter to Jetter. Helvetica, Aria!,
Geneva, and Technical a re sans s erif fonts since tlley Jack
serifs (sans is French for 1vithout). Sans serif fonts are good
for titles and tables.
Most business docwn ents use just one font-usually Times
Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, or Aria!. Helvetica’s popularity
was promoted by American typographer Mike Parker, con-
firmed by its use in early Apple desktops, and acllieved “rock
star” status m tlle mdependent movie H el vetica about typogra –
phy and visual culture.8
You can create emphasis and levels of headings by using
bold, italics, and different sizes. Bold is easier to read tllan ital-
ics, so use bolding if you need only one metllod to emphasize
text. In a complex docwn ent, use bigger type for main head-
ings and slightly smaller type for subheadmgs and text. If you
combme two fonts in one document, choose one serif and one
sans serif typeface.
Eleven-point Times Roman is ideal for letters, memos, and
reports. Twelve-point type is acceptable, especially for mature
CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AN D SCREENS 87
Figure 4.3 A Document Revised to Improve Visual Impact
“” First letter of
each main word l———– Money Deducted from Your Wages
capitalized- _ to Pay Creditors
Title split onto
two lines When you buy goods on c redit. the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment
form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill.
Have You Signed a Wage Assig nment Form?
“” Headings
divide docu-
1 When you buy on c redit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week
or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must
contain the following:
“” list with • The name of your present employer
bullets where – —- •• Your social insurance number
order of items The amount of money loaned
doesn’t matter • The rate of interest
——– : “” Single-space
The date When payments are due
Your signature
list when items …..
The words ·wage Assignment• must be printed at the top of the form and also near the
line for your signature.
are short
ment into
chunks
When Would M oney Be Deducted from Your Wages to Pay a Creditor?
“” Headings
——-IU•- m ust be parai –
T lei; here a ll are .,- Numbered Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of q uestions
list where _ your wages unless all of the following conditions are met:
— 1. You have to be more than 40 days late in payment of what you owe. ——–Ll_L
.,- Double
2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and
a copy of the Wage Assignment form.
space between —–
i tems i n list ….. 3 . You and Roysner must receive a notice from the c reditor at least 20 days in
when most advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This
items are two 2 0-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problem yourself.
lines or longer
If these conditions are all met. Roysner must withhold fifteen percent (15%) of each pay-
cheq_ue until your bill is paid and give this money to your c reditor.
What Should You Do If You Think the Wage Assignment Is Incorrect?
If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against
it by filing a legal document called a “defence.· Once you file a defence, Roysner will not
withhold any money from you. However. be sure you are right before you file a defence.
If you are wrong. you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs for both
yourself and the creditor. If you are right. the c reditor has to pay all these costs.
Figure 4.4 Full Capitals Hide the Shape of a Word
rn tn’i’AAI !!@ @!] lwor readers. Use 9- or type to get the effect of a printed 5. Use Ragged Right Margins emphasizes If your material will not fit in tl1e available pages, cut one When you choose f ull j ustification, the type on botl1 s ides of 88 PART 1 THE BUILDING B LOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION Figure 4.5 Exa mples of Diffe rent Fonts Thi s sentence is set in 12-point Arial.
Thi s s enten c e is set i n 12 -point Ne w Courier .
‘Iliis sentence is set in 12:Point Lucicfa Ca.[{itJrayfz.y.
This sentem::e Is set In l!l–Pdnt 13r oodwaY.
This sentence is set in 12 -point Technical.
justification can look f orntal and professional, i t can be chal- Margins justified only on the left are sometimes call ed In i ts 2007 redesign, The Globe and Mail adopted “a univer – Confusion and miscommunication can result if cultural differ- Cultural differences in document design are based on a national week l y r eadership of 6.3 million across print an d 6. Put Important Elements in the Reader s of English start in the upper left-han d corner of People in Canada focus first on the left side of a website . If a company’s success depends on its communicat ion’s con- •Based on Yiq,!n Wang and Dan Wang. ·cultural Contexts in Document Design,” in Kirk StAmant and Madelyn Aammia (eds.). Teaching and Traj()jng for CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AN D SCREENS sq Figure 4.6 The Globe and Mail Page Redesign JUT t•Jf&WSPAPIR DISIGX GLOBE WINNE-RS» A SEUCTION
PAOVDLY PRINT
New-look Globe wins Source: Pennission: The Globe and Mail lnc.
The CIQbe’$ new k,!Qk h.ls eamcd The Qobe meh’i’d the a”‘.ud pan ilion, and Wi’IS Wool)’ PJ.P<'f to
win fQJ.:. re'r.lmp Qi theentire
publit.llLiOn..ti OppOSied tO inili·
vtduJI PJS
“We c-alled the redesign ‘ Pro\•cl· fQr joomali””‘ in an in·
‘l’t.e ..w.·.trds also honoured one 10 p rinted there. ‘I1!.ree f.-a- SEWS • A I
t hough youil find t hc.lfe i n t h e .lW;’Ird of excellmce -Altbouab tbe1ile “\’t’C really mo·ned by our re:1dert- 11:1id Adri:1n NrlfTis. The a Z pattern (see Figure 4.7). 10 Therefore, as Philip M. Rubens 7. Use a Grid of Imaginary Columns to Unify For years, graphic designers have used a grid s yst e m to qo PART 1 THE BUILDING B LOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION Figure 4.7 Put Important Element s in the Top Left and Bottom Right Quadrants
Eye movement o n t h e page
Start
Orange Source: Based on Russel N. Baird. Arthur T. Tumbull, and Duncan McDonald. The Graphics of Communication: Typography, Layour. Design, Production. 5th ed. (New York: elements-text indentations, headings, visuals, and so on- Figure 4.8 uses grids to organize a page with visuals, a 8. Use Highlighting, Decorative Devices, Many word processing programs have arrows, pointing fin- Figure 4.8 Exa mples of Grids t o Design Pa ges
However, a page or screen that uses every possible highlight- Colour works well to highlight points. Use colour for over- When you use colour, follow these guidelines:
• Use glossy paper to ma k e colours more vivid. brighter than tlte same colours on paper because the screen A page with visuals A newsletter page A resume page
Three-column grid . Six-column grid . Twelve-column grid .
CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AN D SCREENS q 1 DECIDING WHEN TO The 2005 Make Poverty History campaign, for instance, A series of s h ort videos also made powerful statements: The ease of creating visuals by computer may encourage In your rough draft, use visuals in the s ituations:
• T o d e t e rmine if ideas are presen ted comple t e ly . • T o find r e lations hips . For exantple, charting sales on a In the final presentation or document, use v isuals for the Web pages; a visual catches the eye. The brain processes • T o e mphasize material that might b e s kippe d if it places of emphasis. Visuals allow you to emphasize intpor- • To p resen t mat e rial mor e comp actly and with Jess The number of visuals you will need depends on your pur- L03
DESIGNING VISUALS 1. Check the Source of the Data 2. Determine the Story You Want to Tell x NOT A STORY .,;’ POSS IBLE STORIES Growth Was Highest in Quebec Sales Were Highest in the Areas with More Sales Stories tltat tell us what we already know are rarely inter- • Support a hunch you have To fmd stories, use the following guidelines:
1. F ocus on a topic (purchases of cars, who likes j azz, etc.). to s imple, easy-to-understand units.
q2 • PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Figure 4 .9 Alberta GPI Environmental Sustainability Index Compared with GOP Growth, 1%1 1%6 1q71 1q76 1q81 1q86 1qq1 1q% 1qqq 3. Lo ok fo r relationsh ips a n d chan g es. For example, com· 4. Process the data to find more stories. Calculate the per- When you think you have a story, testit against all the data Some stories are simple straight lines: “Sales Increased.” Almost every data set allows you to tell several stories. 3. Choose the Right Visual for the Story exact values (see Figure 4.10a).
• Use a c hart or graph when you want the reader to focus on Use a pie c hart to compare a part I{) the whole (see • Use a map or a b ar chart to compare one item to another • Use a bar cltart or a line g r aph to compare items over time • Use a line graph or bar chart to show freq_uency or distribu- • t;se a bar chart, a line graph, or a d ot chart to show cor- • t;se infographics to show complex data in visual fomt • {;se photographs or live-51reaming videos to create a sense • Use drawings to show dimensions or emphasize detail. 4 . Follow the Conventions for Every visual should contain six components:
I. A title that teUs the story that the visual shows say they did is not necessarily what they really did; an esti- 3. Clearly labeUed units CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLIDES. AND SCREENS • q3 Figure 4.10 Choose the Visual to Fit the Story
Canadian sales reach $44.5 million. Forty percent of our 2016 sales Millions of dollars
2005 2010 2015 Quebec 8.3 6 .8 q.3
Prairies 11.3 12.1 1 3.5
Totals 37.4 38.2 44.5
Old 60%
New 40%
a. Tables show exact values. b. Pie charts compare a component c. Bar charts compare items or Trade In culture goods Most sales representati ves Sales were highest In the a reas 3.5 Years’ experience (or more)
I I 1′ 1 11 d. Li ne charts compa re items over e . Bar charts can show f requency. f . Dot charts show correlation .
Sources: Figure 4.10c: Canada Exports 1 q71- 2017. accessed http:/ fwww.tradingeconomics.com and Statistics canada, accessed http:/ fwww.tradingeconomics. 5. The source of the data, if you created the visual from data 6. The source of the visual, if you reproduce a visual someone Formal visuals are divided into tables and figures (see •• Tables • Round off to simplify the data (e.g., 35% rather than 35.27%; • Provide colw1m and row totals or averages when they are • Put the items you want readers to compare in colunms Suppose you want to give investors information about nonn until recently. Now, SmartMoney.com offers subscribers Pie Charts • Make the chart a perfect circle. Perspective circles distort • Limit t11e number of segments to no more than seven. If • Label t11e segments outside the circle. Internal labels are q4 PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Figure 4.11 Canadian Demograph ic Estimates, 2015
INCREASEOFM EDIAN AGE SINCE 2005
POPULATION AGING IS FASTER OUTSIDE CMAS
ALBERTA CMAS EXPERIENCED THE STRONGEST POPULATION GROWTH BETWEEN 200S AND 201S
CMA
I!.S \I.,__….,,onJ”‘;l :l 2015
·————————————–· : CMAs experienced stronger popul ation growth than nOO.CMAs.Their i THE PROPORTION OF PERSONS AGED GS YEARS AND OLDER IS .ea (OMA): Area ooraisdng of one or more !lituted around a COfe. A cens-us mettopOitan are. mll$t haYe a tot• Souroe: AnllUIIII Demogniphic: Estimates: Subp!Wraal N9s, 2015
C i … 1•1 s”‘””‘o Swls!lqco www statcan gc ca ‘l l l ‘l( ‘l CarMCil C …. tl Bar Charts when your labels are long; when the labels a re short, either Follow these guidelines when using bar charts:
• Order the bars in a logical or chronological order. easy.
CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLIDES, AND SCREENS qs Figure 4 .12 Varieties of Bar Charts
• Nor th 0 Television 30-V-• South . Cable 20 — 10 0 East . Videos 0 !:] West j DVDs – 10 a . Grouped bar charts compare several b. Segmented, subdivided, or c. Deviation bar charts Baseball Footba ll I I between two items.
• Label both h orizontal and vertical a.xes.
Toronto
Edmonton
Montreal
• Put a ll labels inside the bars or outside them. When some • Make all tl1e bars the same width. meanings are different (e.g., estimates as opposed to • Avoid using perspective. Perspective makes the values • Grouped bar ch arts allow readers to compare either sev- • Segme n ted , s u bdivid e d, or s tack e d bars sum the compo- • Deviatio n bar charts identify positive and negative val- • Paire d bar ch arts show tl1e correlation between two items. Line Graphs • Label both h orizontal and vertical a.xes. New jobs
10,000 Nort h new jobs
East
11\est
e. Histograms or plctograms use images to • Avoid using more than three different lines on one graph. • Avoid using perspective. Perspective makes the values Dot Charts • Label both horizontal and vertical axes. ger mark data “points”; some of the detail is lost.
Photographs and Videos You may need to cr op, or trinl, a p hoto for best results. be edited or staged, purporting to show something as reality Drawings % • PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION levels of detail. Drawings are also useful fo r s h owing struc- Maps • Label cities, provinces, or countries if it’s important that peo- • Avoid using perspective. Pe rsp ective makes the values 5 . Use Colour and Decoration with Restraint
Colour ma k es visuals more dramatic, but it creates at least These general cultural associations ma y be s uperseded by associate blue with IBM or Hewlett-Packard and red with Resist the temptation to ma k e your visual “artistic” or “rel- 6. Be Sure the Visual Is Accurate and Ethical
Always d ouble-check your visuals to be s ure t11e information ———————————————————————————————-. . . . . . . . .· • 1, ·,.I , L
Research indicates that colour can be a powerful ally when you • Increases brand recognition by up to 80%
• Improves readership by 40% white ads)
Consultant G. M ichael Campbell finds colour is a usef ul tool • Identify ideas according to common associations with Match colours to the moods they tend to evoke. Red Avoid colour combinations that would confuse people who are fashion show sponsored by Cashmere bath tissue in support of *Based on ·color Printing Center Tips for Color Hewlett·Packard Public Sector Web, accessed March q, 2011, http:/ jwww.hp.com;sbso; CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AN D SCREENS q 7 study the labels to get the right picture, the visua l is unethical For ethical use of ph otographs, award-winning photogra- • Source of the photo Tw Even simple bar and line graphs may be misleading if part To make your visuals more accurate, follow these guidelines:
• Differentiate between actual and estimated or projected • When you must truncate a scale, do so clearly with a break background.
• Avoid perspective and three-dimensional graphs. ist, racist, or other exclusionary visua l statements.
INTEGRATING VISUALS As Figure 3 shows (page 10), . Sttn1marize the main point of a visua l before you present x Weak: Listed below are the results
,- Better: As Figure 4 shows. sales doubled in the last Visuals for presentations need to be s impler than visuals Rather tllan reading the visual to t11e audience, s wmnarize L04
DESIGNING WEBSITES • Where users a re (company name and logo; link to About Us • What the company does (tag line) Donald Norman insists that design is “a social activity,” • Drive more q,ualified traffic to your website and increase • Increase purcllases, leads, referrals, and word of mout11 The story you want to tell ren1ains as important on the Standards continue to evolve for online docwnents. Open qg PART 1 THE BUILDING B LOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION Technology Tips Making Your Web Page Accessible
Users with hearing impaonnents need captions for audio material Blind users need words. not omages. Words can be 110iced by • Put a lonk to a text-only versoon of the sole on the LOS
DESIGNING • Use a big font size: 44 or 50 point for titles, 32 point for • Use bullet-point phrases rather than complete sentences • Use clear, concise language.
• Make only three to five points on each slide. If you ha\·e • Customize your slides “ith the company logo, charts, • Use animation to make words and images appear and mo,·e Figure 4 .13 Presentation Slide Putting • Looks inviting and easy to read • Put navigation links, a site map. and search box at the top of • Arrange navigation links alphabetically so that bhnd users • Provide alternative text (an “Alttag”) for allomages. applets. • Provide a static alternative to flaSh or anomatoon.
Use clip art in your presentation only if the art is really Choose a consistent templat e, or backgroWld design, for Choose a light background if the lights will be off during DESIGNING BROCHURES When designing brochures and newsletters, first think CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS. SLIDES. AND SCREENS • qq Figure 4 .14 Effective and Ineffective Colours for Presentation Slides
Effect ive
Use hi gh cont rast background. Repeat colou rs in desi gn el ements.,
Ineffective
Lnmt t he Dalk colours dark backgnlund.
Use this process to create effective brochures:
1. Determine your objective(s).
2. Identify your target audience(s).
3. Identify a central selling point: one overarching reader 4. Choose the image you want to proj ect. (Clean and clear? 5. Identify objections and brainstorm ways to deal with them 6. When text is important, draft text to see how m uch room 7. Experiment with different sizes of paper and layout 8. Make every choice-colour, font, layout, paper- a con- 9. Polish the prose and graphics. Use you-attitude and posi- Follow these design principles:
• Use the cover effectively. ence. A ph oto of a cam pus lan dmark may not mean • Use a grid to align the elements within the panels. Make • Effective brochures not only repeat graphic e lements • Use colour effectively.
• Restraint usually works best for info nnative brochures. • If you use four-colour printing, use glossy paper.
• Readers over age 50 may have trouble reading text in • Ma ke tl1e text visu ally appealing.
• Use no more than two fonts- just one may be better.
• Use propor tional fonts.
• Avoid italic type and underlining, which mak e text hard • Most brochures use 8-, 9-, or 10-point type. Use 10-point • Use small tab indents.
• Make sure that you have enough white space in your • Ragged right n1argins generally work better with short line 100 • PART 1 THE BUILDING B LOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION Figure 4 .15 Three-Fold Brochure on 8 1h·by·11-i nch (22 X 28 em) Paper
Inside ·-· … – ._._ … Side 1
Back ‘::.””‘…_
A ,_…., · -·-
Cover
Source: Used with the permission of CHEP Good Food Inc.
Inside • If you use a reply coupon, make sure its reverse s ide To make the brochure wortl1 keeping, provide useful infor- L06
TESTING THE DESIGN Testing a draft with five users will reveal 85% of the prob- Three tests yield useful information:
• Watch as readers use tl1e docume nt to do a task. Where do Side 2
Inside .-_, .. _ .. ___ _ -…–. …. ___ _ _ , __ .._,.._ —·-.. -… _ ……. -.. .. _ …. .._. ____ ,_ ….. _ Inside The Good Food Box
, __ … _ •.. -.. ..,_….,. __ …. ..,-.• _ ……. _ Folded
Coller
__ ……. _ ……. _ —·—-……… .. ,.._ … ..,_ .. __ ——–
Inside take? Does the doctunent enable readers to complete the • Ask readers to “think aloud” while completing the task. • Ask readers to put a plus sign ( + ) in the margins by any Faced with heightened customer expectations, Maritime CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLIDES, AN D SCREENS 101 Technology Tips Well-Designed Web sites Keep Customers*
Imagine going to a supermarket where 75% of the customers In a recent poll, almost half of online retailers said they don’t What keeps online shoppers happy? Polled customers When one lost consumer costs an average $243 and it costs Reliable delivery, fast delivery options, and progress updates
Easy, one-click payments Staff authorized to handle customer calls •Based on Robyn Greenspan. “‘E-commerce Mainstream. Measurements Lacking.” ClickZ lnremet Markeang Statistics, April q, 2004, accessed http:/ 1 102 PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SUMMARY OF KEY POINTS
• An attractive document looks inviting, ftiendly, and easy to read. The visual • Good document design can save time and money, prevent legal liabilities, and • Eight guidelines help writers create visually attractive documents: • Follow these six steps to create good visuals: • Good website design is user-centred. • As you design slides for Power Point and other presentation programs: • To test a document, observe readers, ask them to “think aloud” while completing CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLIDES, AND SCREENS • 103 EXERCISES AND PROBLEMS
GETTING STARTED
4.1 EVALUATING PAGE DES IGNS
In pa irs or groups, use the chapter guide lines to eva lua te ea ch of the fo llowing page designs. Conside r the following: appropriately?
• How well do th e y use the q,uadrants and grid of c olunms?
A Special Report: · – —… ……. …_……,. –……….. _ … ___ lo. – A Special Bulletin: Uving Healthy ……………………………………………….
As Your Professor Directs:
a . Prese nt your fmdings to the class.
Managing Your • How we ll are visuals integrated?
• What are their strong points? What could be improved?
A Special Report: … —-…. _____ .. _ .. _
A Special Bulletin: Living Healthy
Counting Calories and .. ilof>oof ……. l ……… ……. ..s …….. _ “””‘” .. _.. _ _.,.,
….. , ….. OOIIOt lll -1. ·–·–….. —–” .. “”‘*””—“‘ 11011 ….. _ • …,. .. …………….. 1.1’1_ ‘-… ·—….. ……. __ _ .. …… .._ …….. … ===-:. .. · ‘–………… iol .. .. ____ _ Managing b. Write an email to your professor on your findings.
c. Design a prototype implementing your findings.
104 PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION 4 .2 EVALUATING POWERPOINT SLIDES
Evaluate the fo llowing drafts of PowerPoint slides. Consider the fo llowing: sentences? a(1)
a(2)
a(4)
b(1)
b(2)
Differences from Younger Buvers nld .. CI. rtf$/llflllll81 lit lltfllilllt. Nst, m. nml$ tf, mottiiiii/1/Hlfllllll/1/lllt IJ/111, WII/Cfl • una t•
b(3)
Older Buyers and • Boomers
b(4)
Using PowerPoint
Tips for Creating Slides
c (1)
Simplify.
• Use bullets points.
– Keep teJtt short. • Use 3-7 1ines of body type per slide.
• Use white space. c ( 2 )
Add Builds and Transitions.
• Direct audience’s attention.
• Provide \lisua l interest .
• Develop consistent
– Use same transition throughout . every line.
c (3 )
Use Strong Visuals.
• Choose art that is
– Rekl’vant. and the audience.
c (4 )
CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLI DES, AND SCREENS 105 4 .3 USING HEADI NGS
Reorganize the items in each of the fo llowing lists, using appropriate headings. Use bulle ted or munbered lists as appropriate. a. Rules and Procedures for a Tuition Reintbursement Plan
1. You are eligible to be reintbursed if you have been a fuU-time employee for at least three months.
2. You must apply before the first class meeting.
3. You must earn a “C” or better in the course.
4. You must s ubmit a copy of the approved application, an official grade report, and a receip t for tuition paid to be 5. You can be reintbursed for courses related to y our current position or another position in the company, or for courses 6. Your supervisor must sign the application form.
7. Courses may be a t any appropriate level (high sch ool, college, or graduate sch ool).
b. Activities in Starting a New Business
• Getting a loan or venture capital
• Getting a ny necessary city or provincial licences
• De te nnining what you \viU ma ke, do, or sell
• Identifying the marke t for your products or services
• Pricing your products or services
• Choosing a location
• Checking zoning laws that may affect the location
• Identifying goverrunen t a nd university programs for small business d evelopment
• Figuring cash flow
• Ordering equipment a nd supplies
• Selling
• Adver tising and marketing
COMMUNICATING AT WORK
4 .4 ANALYZING DOCUMENTS AT WORK
1. Collect several documen ts: letters a nd memos, n ewsletters, ads and flyers, and reports. Use the chapter guidelines to 2. Compare documents or pages produ ced by your competitors to those produced by your own organization in a specific As Your Professor Dire cts:
a. Discuss the documents with a small group of classmates.
b. Write a memo Chapter 7 for format) to your professor evaluating two or more of the documents. Include o riginals c. Write an email to your supervisor recommending ways the organization can intprove its documents.
d. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what ma k es one document good and another on e weak. If possible, use high- 106 • PART 1 THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE COM MUNICATION DOCUMENT ASSIGNMENTS
4.5 EVALUATING WEB PAGES
Compare three Web pages in the same category (e.g., official provincial or territorial tourism sites, helping the homeless As Your Professor Directs: a. Discuss the pages a small group of classmates.
b. Write a memo Chapter 7 for format) to your professor evaluating the pages. Include URLs of the pages in your c. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what makes one page good and another one weak. If possible, put the pages d. Post your evaluation to the class blog. Include the URLs so classmates can click to the pages you discuss.
4.6 CREATING A BROCHURE OR NEWSLETTER
In groups or pairs, create a brochure or newsletter for a campus, non-profit, govenun ent, or business organization. Write an 4.7 CREATING A WEB OR FACEBOOK PAGE
Create a Web or Facebook page for an organization that does not yet have one. Write an email to your professor explaining 4.8 TESTING A DOCUMENT
Ask someone to follow a set of instructions or to fill out a fonn . (Consider conswner instructions, fonns for financial aid, and • Observe the person. Where do they pause, reread, seem confused?
• the person. What parts of the docwnent were confusing?
As Your Professor Directs: a. Discuss the changes needed a small group of classmates.
b. Write a memo Chapter 7 for format) to your professor evaluating the document and explaining the changes that are c. Write to the organization that produced the document recommending necessary in1proveme nts.
d. In an oral presentation to the class, evaluate the docwnent and explain what changes are needed. If possible, put the CHAPTER 4 DESIGNING DOCUMENTS, SLIDES, AND SCREENS • 107 COMMUNICATING ACROSS Source. SetsukoN,IGetty lmaqes
LEARNING OUTCOMES L01 Explain the importance of L04 Explain monochrome and L02 Define cultur e and explain how LOS Discuss conversational style L06 Explain how to adapt writing context and low-context cultures PERSUASIVE AND SALES LEARNING OUTCOMES
L01 Analyze a persuasive situation
L02 Discuss persuasive strategies
L03 Explain how to organize L04 Discuss sales a nd LOS Describe strategy in rack L06 Devise a writing style for AN INSIDE PERSPECTIVE *
Growing up in a si ngle-parent family on Sweetgrass Rrst Nation , Kendal Netmaker had few of the advantages many can count on when they navigate schooling and careers. Instead he found inspiration in the generosity of a f riend (“neechie” is the Kendal Netmaker’s life story is deeply embedded in t he success of Neechie, which Founder and CEO of the atllletic brand Now he gives mot ivational speeches around the country . He also founded Netmaker Academy, an online *Based on Neechi Gear. ” Our Story; accessed January 31, 2017, https:/ ;www.neechiegear.com/ pages/ our·story; • Neechi Whether you’re selling safety eq,uipment or pitching ideas, like In Classical Greece, Aristotle’s Rhetoric promoted t11ese • Pathos: appeal to values, needs, and beliefs shared • Logos: appeal to sound reasoning or logic
• Ethos: a udience perception of speaker’s/writer’s good char- In the 21st century, businesses depend more and more 206 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
command people to make widgets, but you can’t command External motivation doesn’t last. Some people will buy a Although all good communications involve some persua- • Orders and req,u ests qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang .. _ I I I I I qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang Isaiah Mustafa is the main character in the successful Ol d Spice viral qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang The essence of the “WHERE AM lr’ brand L02 qiyuzhang qiyuzhang qiyuzhang Figure 9.2 A Persuasive Direct Req_uest qiyuzhang qiyuzhang Figure 9.4 A Problem-Solving Persuasive Message Even if its combination of cheap and chic is seductive, IKEA does A 2016 study of the relative ef fectiveness of digital a nd L03 Figure 9.11 A Form Letter Whose Attention-Gett er Mimics an Inside Address desired action. A good interest-building section underlines bene- Close (Action)
book or b rochure.
for Business Communications
them
more time. Putting some sections in tiny type will save space
but it may also create a negative response-tl1at may extend
to the organization tha t produced the docwnen t
the page is evenly lined up. Books (including this one), news-
papers, and magazines typically justify margins. Altllough
This sentence is set in 12-point Times Roman.
lenging to adjust space between words without r educing
readability.
rag ged right margins. Lines end in different places because
words are of different lengths. Ragged right- with i ts l ess for-
mal and mor e personalized appear ance–is now standard in
business conummications.
sal r agged-right format” to enable t he use of “large-text type in
narrow columns, which reduces the need to hyphenate wor ds.
This makes for sm oother r eading.” To trace how newspaper
design and readability has changed since the first issue on
March 5, 1844, with a readership of 300, to today’s issue
ences in presenting and processing t echnical informat ion are not
t aken into account. For instance, context and a holistic st yle mat-
t er more in China than in “task-oriented” and analytical North
American instruction manuals. Inductive reasoning matters more
in Japan, while deductive resonates in North America.
reading pract ices and experiences wit h other documents . For
example, one laundry det ergent company printed ads in the
Middle East showing soiled clothes on the left, its box of soap
in the middle, and clean clothes on the right. But, because
people in that part of the world read from right to left, many
people thought the ads meant t hat the soap actually soiled the
clothes.
digital platfornlS, c heck out The Globe and Mail video First
Drafts of History: 17te Globe and Mail Celebrates 170 years.
Recognizing that design m atters even mor e in the competition
for print and online r eaders, t11e Globe l aunched another r ede-
sign in that has proven to be an award winner (see
Figure 4.6).9
Top Left and Lower Right
Quadrants of the Page
the page and r ead to the right and down. The eye moves in
However, Middle Eastern people f ocus first on the right side .
Websites in Arabic and Hebrew orient text, links, and graphics
from right to left.
sistency with cultural values, Hans Hoeken and Hubert Korzilius
caution against treating nationality as a cult ural difference. Their
find ings show how difficult it is to compare cultural responses to
documents when , for instance, a translated document does not
carry the same meaning for different cult ures, and some cultures
avoid the extremes of rating scales or have less experience with
advertisements . In one st udy they cite, North American partici-
pants believed a male figure to be upper class, while Chinese
participants read his jeans as evidence of a manual labourer.
Global Engineering: Perspecrives on Culture and Professjonal Communication PracOces (New York: Wiley & Sons. 2016). 1q….t5; Hans Hoeken and Hubert
Korzilius, “Conducting Experiments on Cultural Aspects of Document Design: Why and HowT Communications 28, no. 3 (2003): 285-304; David A.
Ricks. Blunders in lnternaUonaJ Business (Cambridge, MA: Blackwell. 1 qqJ), 53: and Albert N. Badre, ·rhe Effects of Cross Cultural Interface Design
Orientation on World Wide Web User Performance: GVU Technical Report GfT.GVU 01-03. August 31, 2000, 8, accessed September 1. 2001. http:/ fwww.
cc.gate<:h.edujgvu;reports/2001.
T HI: CLO II t: AN I) MAl l. • ln:os£SDA\’, ff.BRUAn 2l,1C)ll
top redesign award
Vancom•er CO\’e.rage, Report on Business
and folio also singled out for honours
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«ii(‘I’ICC This j-.ast tbc
Globe’S edi tor of dt·
stsnand Pft&(‘ntJtlon.
notes, the four q,uadrants of the page carry different visual
weights. The top left q,uadrant, where the eye starts, is the
most important; the bottom right q,uadrant, where the eye
ends, is next most important. 11 Titles should always start in the
top left; reply coupons or other important elements s hould be
in the bottom right.
Visuals and Other Element s in a Document
design pages. In its s implest fonn, a grid imposes two or
three imaginary colw1ms on the page. In more complex grids,
these colunms can be further subdivided. Then a ll the graphic
Holt. Rinehart, and Winston, 1 qa7). 37.
are lined up within the columns. The resulting symmetry cre-
ates a more pleasing page12 and tmifies long documents.
newsletter page, and a resume.
and Colour in Moderati on
gers, and a host of other dingbats that you can insert. Clip art
packages and presentation software allow you to insert more
and la rger images into your text Used in moderation, high-
lighting and decorative devices mak e pages more interesting.
ing device just looks busy and hard to read.
views and main headings, not for small points. Blue, green, or
violet type is most legible for yotmger readers, but perception
of blue diminishes for readers over age 50. 13 Since tlte connota-
tions of colours vary a mong cultures, check » Chapter 5 before
you use colour with international or multicultural audiences.
• Be aware that colours on a computer screen a lways look
sends out light.
USE VISUALS
If the Information Age has proliferated sources of infonn a –
tion, it has a lso produced added incentives-and aids- for
readers eager to see what information means for them. We
will focus h ere on how visuals can make numbers meaning-
ful and messages memorable by replacing the proverbia l 1,000
words. (See •• Chapter 12 for infomtation on using visuals in
oral presentations.)
used powerful visual effects to get across its message. From
the white wristbands and shoelaces to the white bands
wrapped a round world landmarks on J uly 1, 2005, or the Live
8 concert attracting 1 million spectators and 2 billion v iewers
around the world, the campaign used visual displays to rein-
force messages about the 30,000 children who die every day as
a result of extreme poverty.
Bono snapping his fmgers in Make History 2005, or celebrities
in Click snapping tlteir fingers to register someone dying from
extreme poverty every three seconds. All urged viewers to
make poverty history one by one. In 2008, the campaign con-
tinued member organizations arotmd the world and was
adopted in Canada by First Nations intent on making poverty
history for their peoples. 14
people to use them uncritically. Even though research tells us
that 65% of us are visual learners, use a visual only to achieve a
specific purpose. Never put in numbers or visuals just because
you have them; instead, use tltem to convey information the
audience needs or wants, minimizing “meaningless elements,
both in text and pictures.”15
A table, for example, can show you whether you have
included a ll the items in a comparison.
map may show that the sales representatives who made
q_uota a ll have territories on the East or tlt e West Coast. Is
the product one that appeals to coastal lifestyles? Is adver-
tising reaching the coasts but not the Prairies, Ontario, or
Quebec? Even if you don’t use the visual in your fmal docu-
ment, creating the map may lead you to ask q_uestions that
you wouldn’t have otlterwise.
following purposes:
• T o ma k e points viv id. Readers skim memos, reports, and
visuals inunediately. Understanding words-written or
oral- takes more time.
were buried in a paragraph. Th e beginning and end a re
tant material, wherever it logically fa lls.
r e p e tit ion than words a lone would r eq,uire. Words
can call attention to tlte main points of the visual, without
repeating all of the visual’s information.
poses, the kind of information, and the audience. You will
tend to use more visuals when you want to show relationships
and to persuade, when the infonn ation is complex or con-
tains extensive nwnerical data, and when the audience values
visuals.
Use the following six steps to create good visuals.
Your chart is only as good as the tmderlying data. Check to be
sure that your data come from a reliable source.
Every visual should tell a story. Stories can be expressed in
complete sentences that describe sometlting that happens or
changes. The sentence also serves as the title of the visual.
Canadian Sales, 20 12- 20 17
Forty Percent of Our Sales Were to New Customers
Sales Increased from 2012 to 2017
Representatives
esting. Instead, good stories may do tlte following:
• Surprise you or challenge so-called common knowledge
• Sh ow trends or changes you didn’t know existed
• Have conunercial or social significance
• Provide information needed for action
• Contain persona l relevance for you and the audience
2. Simplify the data on that topic and conver t the numbers
1%1-1qqq
Source: The Alberta GPI Accounts 1q61 1qqq; rptd. from Mark Anielski & Mark Winfield. ·A Conceptual Framework for Mon1toring Municipal and Community SustairLability
in Canada.M Report prepared by the Pemb•na lnstrtute for Environment Canada, June 17. 2002.
pare two or more groups: do men and women have the
same attitudes? Look for changes over time. Look for items
that can be seen as part of the same group. For instance,
to find stories about entertainers’ incomes, you might com·
pare the number of writers, actors, and musicians in three
rankings.
centage cltange [rom one year to the ne.xt.
to be sure it’s accurate.
But other stories are more complex, with exceptions or out-
lying cases. Such stories will need more nuanced titles to do
justice to the story. Figure 4.9 tells a predictable story about
growth in Alberta together with a powerful message about
its unsustainabllity- a prediction leading to some tough deci-
sions in Alberta’s 2014 and 20 16 budgets16
You must choose the story you want to tell. Dumps of uninter-
preted data confuse and frustrat e your audience; they under-
cut the credibility and goodwill you want to create.
Visuals are not inte rchangeable. Good writers choose the
visual that best matches the purpose of presenting the data.
For example:
• Use a table when the reader needs to be able to identify
relationships. 17
Figure 4. 10b).
item (see Figure 4.10c).
(see Figure 4.10d).
tion (see Figure 4.10e).
relations (see Figure 4 .I Of).
(see Figure 4.11).
of authenticity or show the item in use. If the item is espe-
cially big or small, include something in the photograph or
video that can serve as a reference point: a dime or a per-
son, for example.
• Use maps to emphasize location .
Designing Typical Visuals
2. A clear indication of what the data are (e.g., what people
mate of what a number will be in the future differs from
numbers that have already been measured)
4. Labels or legends identifying axes, c olours, and symbols
were to new customers. CANADA EXPORTS
Atlantic 10.2 10.8 11.3
Southern Ontario 7.6 8 .5 10.4
customers
customers
to the whole .
show d istribution or correlat ion.
with the United States
have 2- 5 years’ experience.
with the most sales representatives.
25 50 75 100125150175200
Number of sales reps. in region
t ime or show distribution or
correlation .
oom/canada/eJq>Orts. Reprinted by pennission of Trading Economics. Figure 4.10d: Adapted from Statistics Canada. in Culture Goods with the Unrted States.”
Catalogue no. 87.007·XlE. accessed Apri115. 2014. http/ jwww41.statcan.caj2007/3q55jceb3q55_002-eng.htm. This does not constitute an endorsement by
Statistics Canada of this product.
someone else gathered and compiled
else created
“List of Illustrations” in Chapter 11 ).
Use tables only when you want the audience to focus on specific
nwn bers. Graphs convey Jess specific infonnation but are always
more memorable. Follow t11ese guidelines when using tables:
44.5 million rather than 44,503,276).
relevant.
rather than in rows to facilitate mental s u btraction and
division.
various stocks’ performance. Organizing the daily numbers
into tables would be much more useful than paragraph after
paragraph of statements. Tables of stock prices have been the
Market Map 1000, a graphics tool that he lps them see the top
performers. Each company is shown as a rectangle, and com-
panies are clustered into industry groups. Users can click on
industry groups for a more de tailed view. 18
Pie charts help the audience to measure area. Research shows
that people can judge position or length (which a bar chart uses)
much more accurately than they judge area The data in any pie
chart can be put in a bar chart. 19 Therefore, use a pie chart only
when you are comparing one segment to the whole. When you
are comparing one segment to anot11er segment, use a bar chart,
a line graph, or a map—even though the data may be expressed
in percentages. Follow these guidelines when using pie charts:
the data.
your data have more divisions, com bine t11e smallest or
the least important into a s ingle “miscellaneous” or “other”
category.
ha rd to read.
1 natural Increase was 2.5 times higher and th eir net Internat ional :
1 migrat ion was 5 .8 times highe r. :
TWICE AS HIGH IN TROIS-RIVIERES AS IT IS IN CALGARY
popullltkln of at lust 100.000 of whkh 50,000 or more lYe In the core. Ca’lada Us 33 CMAs: teglons ttwlt – Mt CMAs are c:.tegolbed as
Bar charts (see Figure 4.12) are easy to interpret because they
ask people to compare distance a long a common scale, which
most people judge accurately. Bar charts are useful in a vari-
ety of s ituations: to compare one item to another, to compare
items over time, and to show correlations. Use horizontal bars
horizontal or vertical bars will work
• Put the bars close e nough together to make comparison
2005 2010 2015 Hours – 20
aspects of each item, or several items over t ime.
stacked bars sum the components
of an item.
identify positive and
negat ive values.
Attendance Attendance
d. Paired bar charts show the correlation
labels are inside and some are outside, the labels carry the
visual weight of longer bars, distorting the data.
• Use different colours for different bars o nly when their
known numbers, negative as opposed to positive numbers).
harder to read a nd can make comparison difficult.
eral aspects of each item or several items over time. Group
together the items you want to compare.
nents of an item. It’s hard to identify the values in specific
segments; grouped bar charts are almost always easier
to use.
ues, or winners and losers.
• Histograms or pictograrns use inlages to create the bars.
Line graphs are also easy to interpret. Use line graphs to corn-
pare items over time, show frequency or distribution, and
show correlations. Follow these guidelines when using line
graphs:
• When time is a variable, put it on the horizontal axis.
South
create the bars.
Even tlrree lines may be too many if they cross each other.
ha rder to read and can ma k e comparison difficult.
Dot charts sh ow correlations or other la rge data sets. Follow
these guidelines when using dot charts:
• Keep the dots fairly small. If they get too big, they no lon-
Photographs and videos convey a sense of a u thenticity. For
exan1ple, a photo of a prototype can help convince investors
that a produ ct can be manufactured, while a photo or video
depicting a devastated area can s uggest the need for govern-
ment grants or private donations.
A growing problem with photos and videos is tl1at they may
even though it never occurred. Still, it is inlportant to remem-
ber that ph otos have never been as objective as many took
tl1ern to be; all photos involve h uman decisions about what to
include and exclude.20
With a drawing, whether anin1ated or not, tl1e artist can pro-
vide as m uch or as little deta il as is needed to ma k e the point;
different parts of the drawing can show different layers or
tures underground, undersea, or in the atm osphe re-or even
how good ideas or innovation emerges. Check out Steven
Jolmson’s Where Good Ideas Come From video on YouTube.
Use ma ps to emphasize location or to compare items in differ-
ent locations. Several computer software packages now allow
users to generate numicipal, provincial, national, or global
maps, adding colour or shading, and labels. Google Earth has
a lso added to the navigational toolkit. Follow these guidelines
when using maps:
ple be able to identify levels in areas o ther than their own.
harder to read a nd can mak e comparison difficult.
two p ro blems. First, when readers try to interpret colour, their
interpretation ma y not be appropriate. (Perhaps the best use
of colour occurs in the weather maps printed daily in many
newspapers. Blue seems to fit cold; red seems to fit hot tem-
peratures.) Second, meanings assigned to colours diffe r
depending on the a udience’s national background and profes-
s ion Chapter 5).
corporate, national, or p rofessional associations. Some people
Coca-Cola, communism, or Japan, for instance. People in spe-
cific professions learn other meanings for colours. Blue sug-
gests reliability to financial managers, water or coldness to
engineers, an d death to health care professionals. Red means
losing money to financial managers, danger to engineers, but
healthy to health care professionals. Green us ua lly means safe
to engineers, but injected to healt11 care professionals.2 1
evant” b y turning it into a picture or adding clip art. Clip art
consis ts of predrawn linages that you can iJnport into your
newsletter, sign, or graph. A s ma ll drawing of a car in t11e cor-
ner of a line graph showing the number of kilometres driven is
acceptable in an oral presentation, but o ut of place in a written
report. Edward Tufte uses the term chartjunk fo r decorations
that a t best are irrelevant to t11e vis ual and a t worst mislead
the reader.22 lf you use clip art, be s ure that the inlages of peo-
ple show a good mix of both sexes, various races and ages,
and various physical conditions.
is accurate; many visuals have accurate labels but misleading
vis ual shapes. Also keep in mind that visuals conmmnicate
q_uickly, and audiences remember the shape, not the labels.
Resource-sharing s ites such as Creative Conunons Canada
and Flickr a re in1p ortant op en sources that allow ethical uses
of inlages based on a community-centred framework and com-
mitmen t to collaboration as innovation. lf the reader has to
‘ ‘> I 1 I
are t rying to engage, inform, or persuade your audience. Saying
it with colour has these results:
• Speeds up learning from 55-78%
• Enhances comprehension by 73%
• Increases engagement by 42% (colour rather than black and
f or coding information and affecting reader reaction. Here are
some of his ideas for usi ng colour:
colour-red for stop or danger, green for go or money .
demands attention (but is easy to overuse); yellow is cheery.
Blue and green tend to have a calming effect.
colourblind. About 10% of men and 0.5% of women cannot
distinguish between red and green.
Toronto’s Strategic Objectives created buzz with a redesigned
the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation (CBCF). When it became
clear that Cashmere’s support of CBCF was not registering, a lim-
ited edition of Pink Cashmere (25 cents per sale going to CBCF)
became the focus of the “A Touch of Pink” fashion show with
pi nk tissue accessories. Professional photos and social media
tactics added to the success: q7 .3 million impressions in Eastern
Canada, 61 media reports, 22,400 visits to the Cashmere weir
site, and $35,000 to CBCF.
productivity/colorjusejtips.html; G. Michael Campbell. Bulletproof Presentations {Franklin Lakes. NJ: Career Press, 2002}. 1 qo..1 q3; Unda Mastaglio.
Robert Brown, and Steve Freeman. ·Above the Fold,” Communkation January February 2010. 18 ·1q.
even if the labels are accurate.
pher Suzanne Salvo reconunends checking the following:
• Context of the photo
• Whether and h ow it has been manipulated
• Copyright constraints on a lterations
• Possible audience interpretation of altered images23
of the scale is missing or truncated. Trunca ted graphs a re
most acceptable when the audience knows the basic data set
well. For example, graphs of the stock market a lmost never
start at zero; they are routine ly truncated. This omission is
acceptable for audiences who follow the market closely.
values.
in the bars or in t11e
• Avoid combining graphs with different scales.
• Use in1ages of people carefully in histographs to avoid sex-
Refer to every visual in your text. Normally the writer gives
the table or figure n umber in the text bu t not the title. Put the
v isual as soon after your reference as space and page design
permit. If the visual will not be immediately obvious to the
reader, provide a page reference:
(See Table 2 on page 14.)
the visual itself. TI1en when readers get to it, they will see it as
confirn1ation of your point.
decade
the audience reads on paper. You may want to cut out one
of the colwnns, round off the data even more, or present the
material in a chart rather than a table. In addition, these visu-
als should have titles but don’t need figure numbers. Be aware
of the location of each visual so you can return to one if some-
one asks about it during the q,uestion period.
the story and then elaborate on what it means for the audi-
ence. If you have copies of a ll the visuals for your audience,
ha nd them out at the beginning of the talk.
The Nielsen No= advice on home page design for
websites-the source of first and lasting impressions-is to
“treat it like the front page of a major newspaper.” The con-
tent depends on user needs and tasks as well as business or
organizational goals. At a glance, it needs to conununicate the
following memorably and distinctly:
and Contact Us)
• What users can do on the s ite ( 1-4 tasks)25
not just a technical one, so the social impact should be front
and centre.26 FCV Interactive Web designers (see Inside
Perspective) s imilarly focus on people, conversations, creativ-
ity, a n d “sound business strategy.” They build websites for cli-
ents’ customers, because “in a crowded web environment if
their experience is bad, they won’t return.” User-centric web-
sites have these benefits:
awareness
• Redu ce s upport costi!7
Web as in any other medium. If the Web has made us “con-
tent s nackers,” there is a n other important fact of the Web:
it is a “link econom y.” Every story r eq,uires “a beginning,
a middle and a hyper link.” Comm unications consultant
Angelo Fernan do argues that we need to be Jess “content
machines” than “link machines.” Hyperlinks connect your
story to those of others, to broader networks and to fuller
contexts. Newspapers such as The New York Times and The
Washington Post and magazines such as Esquire a re experi-
menting with Web delivery of news, organizing dynamic
pages with the latest developments on stories and incor-
poratin g voice and cuts from albums in music reviews, for
example.28
Source Web Design (http://www.oswd.org/) offers Web design
templates tl13t you can build on and share. To see what not
to do, check out some of the worst websites a round at http://
www. webpagesthatsu ck.com/.
on the Web.
a screen reader or translated onto Braille text. Canadian screen
reader programs go from lett to nght. then down line by line.
Keystrokes can let users skop to a specofic letter in a list To
make your Web page accessoble for people wrth vision impair-
ments, follOw these guidelines:
hand comer.
PRESENTATION SLIDES
As you design s lides fo r PowerPoint and other presentation
programs s uc h as Prezi, keep the following guidelines in mind
(see also •• Chapte r 12):
subheads, and 28 point for examples. (For large rooms, you
may need to increase these font sizes recommendations.)
(see Figure 4. 13).
more, consider using two slides.
downloaded Web pages, podcasts, videos, and scanned-in
photos and drawings.
during your presentation-but only in ways that help you
control infom1ation flow and build interest. Avoid using
animation just to be c lever; it \\ill distract your audience.
Principles into Practice
• Saves t ime and money
• Reduces legal liabilities
• Builds goodwill
the screen, preferably in the corner.
can jump to the links they want.
and submit buttons.
appropriate to your points and only if you use non-sexist and
non-racist in1ages. Marilyn Dynad has fow1d the major clip
art packages to be biased. Today, however, Internet sources
have made such a wide variety of drawings and photos avail-
able that designers really have no excuse for failing to pick
an inclusive and visually appea ling image. Even organizations
on tight budgets can find free publlc domain (i.e., not copy-
righted) and low-<:ost resources. 29
the entire presentation. Make sure the template is appropri-
ate for your subject matter. For example, use a globe only
if your topic is international business and palm trees only if
you are talking about tropical vacations. One problem with
PowerPoint is that the basic templates may seem repetitive to
people who see lots of presentations made with the program.
For a very important presentation, you may want to consider
customizing the basic template.
the presentation and a dark backgrOWld if the lights will be on.
Slides will be easier to read if you use high contrast between
the words and backgrounds. See Figure 4.14 for examples of
effective and ineffective colour combinations.
Walk into any bank, municipal office, hospital, or political
campaign office and you find brochures. Brochures-both
pape r and digital-remain e ffici ent and cost-effective chan-
ne ls for many in tJ1e business, non-profit, and government sec-
tors. They remain as useful for those in tourism and hospitality
as for banking, health, and education- aU of which need to
acconunodate the needs of d iverse audiences.
about purpose and audience. An “image• brochure designed
to promote awareness of your company will have a different
look than an •infomlation• brochure telling people how to do
something and persuading them to do it.
between words and
words and
Of l>I Hj hl t;Oill l ll'”‘
clsappear against a
benefit the audience will get Chapter 9).
Trendy? Something else?)
(* Chapter 9).
you need. Tighten your writing ( .. Chapter 3), but wh en you
really need more room, use a bigger brochure layout or a
series of brochures.
Consider how readers will get the brochure-must it fit in a
standard rack? Use thumbnail s ketches to test layouts.
scious one. The three-fold brochure shown in Figure 4. 15
is the most conm10n, but many otl1er a r rangements a re
possible.
tive emphasis.
• Put your central selling point on the cover.
• Use a ph oto that tells a story- and works for the a u di-
much to an a u dience thin kin g abou t attendin g a sum-
mer program on campus. Know that what people
wan t to see in ph otos are people (dogs a re a close
second).30
sure that the Z pattern emphasizes in1portant points for
each spread the reader sees. In a three-fold brochure, the Z
pattern needs to work for tl1e cover a lone, for inside pages
1 and 2, and for inside pages 1, 3, and 4 (when tl1e brochure
is fully opened).
(headings, small photos) across panels to create a unified
look but also contain contrast (between text and in1ages,
and between a larger font for headings and a s ma ller one
for text).
To get the effect of colour the least expense, use
black print on coloured paper.
some s hades of blue.
to read. To emphasize text, use bold (sparingly).
rather tl1an 8-point for readers over age 40.
copy. Use lists and headings. Use shor t paragraphs with
extra space between paragraphs.
lengths.
p. 2
.- ·–·—
cover
p. 1
doesn’t have crucial information the reader needs to
keep.
mation. Make the text candid, believable, and htunan.
FOR USABILITY
A design that looks pre tty may or may not work for the audi-
ence. To know whether your design is ftmctional, test it with
your audience.
lems with the doctunent.3 1 If tin1e and money permit additional
testing, revise the doctun ent and test the new version
another five users. Test the document with the people who are
most likely to have trouble it: very old or young readers,
people with little education, and people who read English as a
second language.
they pause, re read, or seem confused? How long does it
p. 3
_c. _ _.
p. 4
__ … ,._ ………. . -··-…………… _ ……… __ _ .. ___ _, —
·——–·· __ … __ ,.,”
_, … _ …… — .. –·—__ … _ ……..
c-.. –·—-
p. 3
Inside
p. 2
task acc urately?
Interrupt readers at key points to ask what they are think –
ing, or ask them to describe the tl10ught process after
completing the task. Learning the readers’ thought pro-
cesses is important, since they may get the right answer
for the wrong reasons. In such a case, the design still
needs work.
part of the doctunent they like or agree with, and a minus
sign (- ) by any part of the doctunent that seems confusing
or wrong. Then use or focus groups to find out
the reasons for the p lus and minus judgments.
Inns and Resorts commissioned a new website to enhance
usability and to communicate the comfort that is th e hall-
mark of the Maritime resort exp erience. The design team
(see An Inside Perspective) optintized the searc h e ngine
for “find-ability, “linked tl1e online reservation system, devel-
oped an Internet marketing strategy, and integrated design
and photography in building atmosphere.32
abandon their carts half full in the aisles because they are so
f rustrated they decide to shop somewhere else. It would be a lot
like shopping online.
know what percentage of their customers abandon shopping carts.
Among the rest, 87% reported abandonment rates above 20%.
Because the Internet makes it easy for shoppers to go to other
sites, Jakob Nielsen says, “People don’t have to use bad sites.”
cate they want pages that load q,uickly and make it easy to find
what they want. They also like basics such as search tools and
clear labels.
fives times as much to attract as to retain online consumers,
these retention strategies make sense:
Easy password and account retrieval
Social media and email customer service
Free, easy return policy
Email followups, loyalty rewards, and exclusive deals
www.clickz.oom; ClickZ Stats staff and Sharon Gaudin, MPersonalization not the Secret to E-commerce.H ClickZ Internet Marketing Statisacs. November 14 ,
2003, accessed http:j jwww.clickz.com; David Neal. “Interview: Good Design Pays Off.” IT May 1 q, 2003, accessed http:/ jwww.itweek.co.uk/
a rticlesfprinV208658q; Reid Goldsborough, MSubstance. not Style, Draws Hits.H Philadelphia Inquirer. May 20. 2004. accessed ht tp:/ jwww.philly.com:
Graham Chartton, M21 Ways Online Retailers Can Improve Customer Retention Rates,” Econsultancy blog. July 3. 2015, accessed December 21. 2016,
https:; ;econsultancy.com/blog/11051-21-ways-online-retailers-c:arHmprove-customer-retention-rates/.
grouping of ideas also makes the structure of the document more obvious so it
is easier to read.
build goodwill.
l. Use white space.
2. Use headings.
3. Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.
4. Use no more than two fonts in a single document.
5. Use ragged right margins for business communications.
6. Put important elements in the top left and lower tight q_uadrants.
7. Use a grid to unify visuals and other graphic elements.
8. Use highlighting, decorative devices, and colour in moderation.
l. Check the source of the data.
2. Determine the story you want to tell.
3. Choose the right visual for the story.
4. Follow the conventions for designing typical visuals.
5. Use colour and decoration with restraint.
6. Be sure the visual is accurate and ethical.
• Content depends on user needs and tasks as well as business goals.
• The story you want to tell is as important on the Web as in any other media.
• Hyperlinks connect your story to others and give fuller contexts.
• Use a big font.
• Use bullet-point phrases.
• Make only three to five points on each slide.
• Customize your slides.
the task, interrupt them at key points to ask what they are thinking, or ask them
to desctibe the thought process after completing the document and the task.
• Do th ey use white space, headings, and fonts
Living Healthy ::::::.:::::::.::::::
…… odil .,… _ ,._.., __ til _ __ ,… ………….. __ __ …….,._ … …. . -.. -…. . ….—–“–……… –…. -.-…. ._ . …….. _.. … . ……. _0.._ … _
Sleep
Living Healthy
Watching Choleaterol
‘-lfN’/0–111-.
– – -rH’* ==-..i··:-4—–b..;,; _ …………….. ..
_..toeolli•-·” …_….,. .. _””” … … – o…. . …….. _
*-.. -._ … .,__..,..,. ….. lll ………… “”‘._ .. – .. …_IOO(jjoi.IO-oiol …….. _, ..
” ……
Sio …… …,_, • .,.
Exercising and Eating
Heahhy in a Busy Lifestyle
“”-·d·–· .._ ___ _
—.. –……… –
Your Sleep
w.. ……… -. __ ….., …. , …… ____ ,…… .._…,.. __ _ ……………. … _ ……… ,_ ——….a-· ……,_ … lo!o)M … …………. –…… c.—……… -… _____ …,…. ‘—… —….. … —– ………… -·–· ……….. ____ .. _,..,…_. ____ ._”””
::.:&:: ::.:::::.-
….. —-..,….. …. _ _…._ “”·—….. …..—-__ ….,.. __ .-.. –.. … – …….. lAc ….. ____ …,. _.,…_ .. ___..__
=::=.-………. _ . ….,__, _____
• Are the slides’ backgrounds appropriate for the topic? • Is the font big enough to read from a distance?
• Do the s lides use words or phrases rather than complete
• Is the art relevant and appropriate?
• Is each slide free from errors?
• llder bUYirS wa• more details and
• 11/ltt 111/yftS 1118Y MfdiiiiDtnonts SIIICf
can lit 11an1 te lf8ll.
Technology
– Keep points paraneL
• Use as few 5ewls of indentation as possible.
– Use build for a reason-not necessarily for
-Bias free .
-Fresh to the audience.
– Adapted to the company
As your professor directs, peer grade answers.
reinlbursed.
that are part of a degree related to a current or possible j ob.
evaluate each.
category (e.g., brochures, blogs, instructions, Web pages, Facebook). Which d ocumen ts are more effective? Why?
or photocopies of the documents you discuss as an appendi.x to your memo.
q_uality inlages (use your snipping tool, for example) so that classmates can see the doctune nts as you evaluate them.
organizations, trade associations, car companies, tmiversity/college departments, sports infonnation). \Vhich page(s) are most
effective? \Vhy? What weaknesses do the pages have? What changes would you reconunend?
memo.
on screen so that classmates can see the pages as you evaluate them.
email to your professor explaining your choices for content and design.
your c hoices for content and design.
so forth.)
• Time the person. How long does it take? Is the person able to complete the task?
needed. Include the docwnent as an appendi..x to your memo.
docwnent on screen so that classmates can see it.
CULTURES
5
cultural competence polychrome cultures
culture affects communications
L03 Discuss the classification of high- fo r international audiences
MESSAGES q
sales messages
fundraising strategy
cards and brochures
sales and fundraising
Cree word for f riend). That f riend ‘s family quite literall y helped change Netmaker’s life by
paying registrations and supplying a vehicle so that Netmaker could play the sports in which
he so clearly excelled-and go on to win a sports scholarship, complete university. and
found his award·winning company. Neechie Gear®. “Whatever hardships y ou go through. as
long as you have a vision for y our goals.” says Netmaker, “anything is possible.”
g ives 5% of profits t o his non-profit NG Athletics Club or kids’ sports groups so that the
underprivileged can play sports and learn leadership . Natu rally shy, Netmaker had to
learn to pitch his vision in student and other competitions. which al lowed him to take
his dorm·room business to store-front visibi lity. With no business training. he was able
to persuade role models to mentor him to develop his business plan. Now he f inds t hat
“the more I tell my story. the more it’s heard,” the stronger his brand becomes, and the
g reat er the customer loyalty.
Neechle Gea;’>, Kendal Netmaker,
was heralded as a 2016 change
agent by Canadian Business and
received an lnstagram shout out post
from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
Source: Courtesy of Kendal Netmaker.
program to train young entrepreneurs, because he has ” seen what impact entrepreneurs can have, and r m
t rying to grow that th roughout Canada.” He sha res his own learning about investing “in a personal brand
for your company.” He has ” become t he f ace of [his] brand, and every time I get a chance, I’m wearing my
stuff. I’m fielding sales everywhere I go.”
Gear Founder Captures National Business Award, .. CBC News, February 5, 2015, accessed http/ ;www.cbc.cajnews/
canadajsaskatoonjneechie-
Kendal Netma ker ( •• An Inside Perspective), effective persua-
sion is based on accurate logic ( Chapter 1 ), effective emo-
tional appeal, and credibility or tntst. Reasons have to be
reasons the audience finds important; emotional appeal is based
on values the a udience cares about, and credibility is in t11e eye
of the beholder. ln other words, persuasive strategies and mes-
sages cannot be separated from their cultural situations, ethical
choices, and the genres or kinds of documents that shape and
are shaped by those strategies.
same elements in elaborating the art of rhetoric or persuasion:
audience
acter or credibility
on persuasion and buy-in to get q,uality work done. You can
people to be creative. Even if you are ma king widgets, just
going through the motions isn’t enough. You want people to
ma ke high-quality widgets, while reducing scrap and other
costs. Internal commitment is needed to ma ke that happen.
certain brand of pizza if they have a for 1″ coupon. But if the
coupon expires, or if another company offers the same deal, cus-
tomers may leave. ln contrast, if customers like your pizza better,
if they are motivated intemally to choose it, then you may keep
your cttstomers even if another company comes in with a lower
price. It was Kendal Netmaker’s Neechie Gear®.s conunitment to
donate 5% of profits to help tmderprivileged children play sports
that drew Prime Minister Trudeau’s attention and builds con-
swner loyalty for a brand so closely identified with t11e founder. 1
s ion to motivate readers to read a nd respond, t11e foctts in this
chapter is on the following persuasive messages:
• Collection letters
• 1 ,” – ” I — ,-_ ” ” • , [ , j , _ ” • • _l_ _.• I • .___:___ ” 1o_ ‘-j • •
Emotional intelligence (EI) is what ena bles people to s ucceed in
the workplace. Psychologist Daniel Goleman studied 181 jobs in
121 companies worldwide, separating technical skills from emo-
tional competencies. The latter “competencies like
ness, adaptability, and a talent fo r collaboration• were twice as
important.
For high-level executive jobs, Gole man asks, “How persuasive
are you? Can you get ‘ bu!j-in’ for your ideas from the people
around you? .. . Can you . .. communicate with people in terms
they can unders tand and embrace?” Such •great leadership.
. .. takes huge social intell igence, including a s trongly
oped sense of empathy.” When team work a nd social media a re
changing “the internal environment ” of businesses, “fluency in
people s kills is essential .”
Canadian researchers Steven Stein and Howard Book show El at
work in survival s tories, sports , health, business, and law enfo rce-
ment. According to their Emotional Quotient Inventory (developed
by Dr. Reuven Bar .On) fi ndings, •emotional intelligence cuts across
the gender gap; although women score better on social respo,.
s ibility and empathy while men score better on stress tolerance.
And while they find that •core elements of emotiona l intel-
ligence” are relevant to leadership, Yvonne Stys and Shelley
Brown call for fu rther research on the legitimacy of El, its teach-
ability, and its applicability to the Public Service of Canada.
• Based on Guy Dixon. · r ooay·s Leader Needs EQ As Much As IQ.- Reporr on Business. May 13. 2014. 812: ·About EQ website, accessed April 20.
2011, http:/ jwww.eq,edge.com/AboutThe Book.aspx; Steven J. Stein & Howard E. Book. EQ Edge: Emotional lnreiJigence and Your Success (Mississauga:
John Wiley & Sons Canada. 2006}; Yvonne Stys & She lley L. Brown. “‘A Review of the Emotional Intelligence Uterature and Implica tions for Corrections,-
Research Brandl, Correctional Service of cana da. M arch 2 004. acce ssed April 2 0. 2011, http:/ ;www.csc-soc.gc.cajteXVrsrch/reports/r150/r150 _e :
Anne Fi sher, “Success Secret: A High Emotionai iQ,- Fortune, October 26. 1 qqs. 2q3 – 2q4.
• Sales and fundraising le tters
• Promotional materials (rack cards and brochures)
For proposals and reports reconunending action, see
•• Chapters 10 a nd 11; for oral presentations, see •• Chapter 12;
for employm ent communications , see •• Chapter 13.
All persuasive messages have several purposes.
Primary p urpos es :
• To motivate readers to read the message
• To have readers act
• To provide enough information so that readers know what
to do
• To overcome any objections that might prevent or delay action
Seco ndary p urposes:
• To build a good image of the writer
• To e nhance the reputation of the writer’s organization
• To cement a good relationship between the writer and readers
• To reduce or eliminate f uture correspondence on the same
s ubject (or to make readers more likely to respond posi-
tively next tin1e)
L01
ANALYZING A PERSUASIVE
SITUATION
Ch oose a persuasive strategy based on your answers to four
q,u estions:
• What do you want people to do?
• What obj ections, if a ny, will the a udience have?
• How strong is your case?
• What kind of persuasion is best for the organization and th e
culture?
1. What Do You Want People to Do?
Iden tify the specific action you want and tl1e person who has
the power to do it If your goal req,uires several steps, specify
what you want your a udience to do nmv. For instance, your
inunediate goal may be to have people come to a m eeting or
let you m ak e a presentation, even tl1ough your long-term goal
is a major sale or a chan ge in policy.
2. What Objections, If Any, Will
the Aud ience Have?
If you are asking for som ething that req,uires little tin1e,
mo ney, or ph ysical effort and for an action that’s a rou tine
part of the person’s regular duties, the a udience is likely to
have few obj ections. For examp le, when y ou order a product,
the finn is happy to s upply it.
Often, however, you will encotmter some resistance.
Peop le may be busy and may have other uses for their tim e
and m oney. To be persuasive, you need to show your audience
that your proposal meets their needs; you need to overcom e
any obj ections.
People a re likely to be most aware of and willing to share
obj ective concerns su ch as time and mone y. They will be
less willing to tell you that their real objection is emotional.
Readers have a ves t ed int e r est in some thing if they benefit
directly from keeping things as they a re. For instance, people
who a re in power have a vested interest in retaining the sys-
tem that gives them their power.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 07
video campaign.
Source: Dave J HoganjGetty Images for Old Spice.
Both individuals and organizations have self-images. It’s
easier for readers to say y es when you ask for something
that is consistent with that self-image. For example, Arantis
p ersuaded men to buy its skin peel, Lift Off,
by linking it to shaving: men who exfoliated with the product
could reduce t11eir shaving time by
When Old Spice launched its YouTu be vira l video cam-
paign featurin g former NFL footballer Isaiah Mustafa, or
“The Man That You r Man Could Smell Like,” the video struck
a chord. Sales j umped 55% in three months (70% in the last
four week s). The responses segment of the campaign was a
three-day initiative collecting a n d answerin g fan responses
on social media and attracting 35.7 million views- a n d imi-
tators and parodies around the world.3 Humour added to
the urge to share the c lip with others- a strategy that keeps
Old Spice stories in the news and in case studies o f social
media s u ccess.
Hwnour also cam e to the rescue when the lights went out
at the 2012 Super Bowl. Getting in on t11e online conversation
was the Oreo social media team, well-prepared its timely
tweet reassuring people that, even in the dark, dllilking their
favourite treat would still be possible!4 But Motrin discovered
how risky h umour can be when its online ad clainting mothers
looked “more official” wearing baby slings backfired. Mothers
felt belittled and Jet the company know. 5
3 . How Strong Is Your Case?
The strengt11 of your case is based on three aspec ts of persua –
s ion: argument, credibility, and emotional appeal.
Argume nt refers to the reasons or logic you offer.
Sometimes you may be able to prove con clusively t11at your
solution is best. Som etimes your reasons may not be as strong,
the benefits may n ot be as certain, and obstacles may be dif-
ficult or impossible to overcome. For example, suppose you
208 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
wanted to persuade your organization to offer a tuition reinl-
bursement plan for employees. You would have a strong argu-
ment if you could show that tuition reinlbursement would
improve the perfonn ance of marginal workers, or that reinl-
bursement would be an attractive recruiting tool in a tight job
ma rket. However, if dozens of fully q,ualified workers apply
for every opening, your argument would be weaker. The pro-
gram ntig ht be nice for workers, but it would be h ard proving
it would he lp the company.
You can strengthen your a rgwnent and your credibility by
accurately documenting sources in building your case. See
.. Chapter 10.
Cr edibility is the audience’s response to you as the source
of the m essage. Credibility in the workplace has three sources:
knowledge, linage, a nd relationsltips.6 Citing experts can
ma ke your a rgument more credible. In some organizations,
workers build credibility by getting assigned to high-profile
teams. You build credibility by your track record. The more
reliable you have been in the past, the more likely people are
to trust you now. Building a relationship with
if the relationship is based on an outside interest, such as
sports or children- makes it easier for t11at person to see you
as an individual a nd to trust you.
When you don ‘t yet have the credibility that comes f rom
being an expert or being powerful, build credibility by the lan-
guage and strategy you use:
• Be fa c tual. Don’t exaggerate. Use concrete language and
reliable statistics.
• Be s pe cific. If you say ·x is better,” s how in detail how it
is better. Show readers exactly where the savings or other
benefits come from.
• Be r e liable. If you suspect that a project will tak e longer
to complete, cost more money, or be Jess effective than
you originally t11oug ht, tell your audience immediately.
Negotiate a new schedule that you can meet.
Emotional a ppe al means making readers want to do
what you ask. People don ‘t make business
decisions-based on logic alone. Consumers, for instance,
don’t make purchasing decisions on logical grounds. TI1ey care
about relationsltips with the products and services, accord-
ing to marketer Marie Gennain. TI1e Four Ps of marketing-
produ ct, place, price, a nd promotion- are s iJnple “lef t-brain”
models, she says. Conscious memory e:\:plains only about 5%
of the reasons people buy. And they have a habit of focusing
attention on the competition, so that everyone ends up emulat-
ing t11e competition or working too hard to be different. “It’s
better to be better t11an to be different,” says Gennain.
Sh e is supported by the findings of Joe Calloway, author of
Becoming a Category of One, who claims, “The place to dif-
ferentiate is in that very personal sensory-emotional realm of
what t11e customer feels.” Consider Krispy Kreme’s ability to
sell fatty food because it frees us from t110se who would tell us
whatnot to eat.7
platform showcase& the unfamiliar side
of Ontano. refying on mystery to entice
contumm to diSCO’Jef a side ol Ontano
they’ve never seen.
IT’SWOR!JNG.
29 MILLION Soctal Impressions
48 and Reactions
Partner with us in 2017
and leverage the brand.
•20l6U• Ptcl’l ttSuiiS
In stimulating the Ontario Tourism Marketing Partnership Corporation’s strategy
creates mystery around destinations in its “Where Am I?” campaign to entice Ontarians to
guess the locations of images-and to find adventure and excitement in unfamiliar locations
close to home. And the data show that !he strategy works!
Source: ©Queen’s Printer for Ontario. 2016. Reproduced with pennission.
Or consider McCain Foods’ success after trying to per-
s uade parents that their pizza product was as good as deliv-
ery and better than Kraft’s Delissio. Although first to market
in Canada, McCain’s lost ma rket share. Then the company
targeted teens in a campaign that saw sales increase 25% in
January 2005.8
A 2014 study presents evidence that early impressions on
children by food marketing mascots and characters persist
into adulthood. Biases created in children under 13 years of
age by the emotional appeals of loveable characters survived
well into adulthood in positive in1ages of the product and its
nutrition value.9
Faced with millennia) mothers representing a 13% reduc-
tion in pean ut butter purchasing in Canada, Kraft has been
“humanizing” its peanut butter brand to reach an a u dience that
resis ts the push of marketing messages. Instead, Kraft relied
on moms responding to an “emotional story” in which the
teddy bears and n ot the product were “centraL “10
a clever marketing strategy based on
radio announcer Rob Calabrese’s website,
CBifTrurnpWins.com. CNN and Japanese
television stations were among those that
added to tl1e Jnstagram appeal of Cape
Breton and its tmiq_ue blend of French,
First Nations, and Gaelic cultures. 12
4 . What Kind of Persuasion
Is Best for the Organization
and the Culture?
A strategy that works in one organiza-
tion may not work somewhere else. James
Suchan and Ron Dulek point ou t that
Digital Eq_uipment Corporation (DEC)’s
corporate culture values no-holds-barred
aggressiveness: “Even if opposition is
expected, a subordinate should write a
proposal in a forceful, direct manner. “13
However, in anotl1er organization with
different cultural values, an employee
who used a hard-sell strategy for a req_uest
antagonized the boss. 14
In tourism and hospitality industries trying to satisfy expe-
rienced and educated travellers eager to fmd new territory,
Newfotmdland and Labrador Tourism ma k es the most of its
tmiq,ue culture, u nspoiled land, and rich natural environment
in inviting tourists with images that have been “inspiring
boxes of crayons since 1497. Around here, even our colours
a re more colourful.’ Or, “Some pieces just won’t fit inside
the Guggenheim. One of the best places on earth to catch a
glimpse of an iceberg.’11
Cape Breton saw its tourism numbers spike as a result of
fears about a Trump election win in the United States-and
George Weston Ltd. chairman Galen Weston draws on his own cred·
ibility and the logical and emotional appeals associated with Loblaws
supporting canadian farmers by purchasing locally grown food.
Source: The Canadian Press/ Chris Young.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 0 q
USING YOUR ANALYSIS TO
CHOOSE A PERSUASIVE
STRATEGY
If y our organization prefers a specific approach, use it. If your
organization has n o preference, or if you do not know your
readers’ p referen ce, use the following guidelines to ch oose a
strategy (see .. Chap ter 7 for routine req_uests).
Use the persuasive direct req,uest (goo d news) p a ttern
(see Figure 9.1) in the fo llowing s ituations:
• You need responses only from people who will fmd it easy
to do as you ask.
• Busy readers may not read all the messages they receive.
Use the indirect p ro blem-solving (bad news) p attern
( .. Figure 9.3) in the following situations :
• The a u dience ma y resist doing as y ou ask.
• You expect logic to be more imp ortant than emotion in the
decision.
Use the indirect AIDA (or AlRA) p ersu asive pla n
Figure 9.10) when you may have to overcome resistance (R).
The AIDA model focuses on attracting a tten tion (A), arousing
interest (1) a nd desire (D) to elicit action (A). It is as relevant
to p ersu asive as to sales messages (see » “How to Organize a
Sales or Fundraising Letter” later in this chapter).
WRITING PERSUASIVE
DIRECT REQUESTS
When you q,uic k agreement, save the reader’s time by
p resen ting the req,uest directly (refer to Figure 9. 1 ). On e study
fotmd th at executives were most likely to p ay attention to mes-
sages that were p ersonalize d, evoked an emotional response,
carne from a c redible sender, and were concise.15
The direct req,uest does not con tain reader benefits and
does not need to overcome objections; it s intp ly asks for what
is needed (see Figure 9.2).
Direct req_uests should be direct. Don’t mak e the reader
gu ess wha t you want.
Indirect request:
Direct request:
Is there a newer version of the 2017
Accounting Reference Manual?
If there is a newer version of
the 20 17 Accounting Reference
Manual, please send it to me.
In a direct req_uest, put the req,uest, the topic, or a q,uestion
in the s u bject line (e.g., Req,uest for Updated Software).
In some direct req,uests, your combination of pur-
poses ma y s uggest a different pattern of organization. For
instan ce, in a n email askin g a n employ er to reimburse y ou
for expenses a fte r a j ob interv iew, you would want to thank
y our h osts for their hosp itality and cement the good imp res-
sion yo u made at the interv iew. To do that, sp en d the first
severa l paragraphs talking about the trip a n d the interv iew.
Only in the last third of the letter would y ou p ut your req,uest
for reimbursement.
WRITING PERSUASIVE
PROBLEM-SOLVING
MESSAGES
Use an indirect a pp r oa ch and the p roblem-solving pattern
of o rganization when you expect resistance from your reader
but can sh ow th at doing what you want will solve a problem you
and your reader share. The pattern in Figure 9.3 allows you to
disarm opposition by s howing reasons in favo ur of your posi-
tion before your readers can say no.
Figure 9.4 uses the problem-solving p attern of organiza-
tion. Reade r benefits can be brief in this kind of message s ince
the biggest benefit comes fro m solving the problem.
Figure 9.1 Pattern f or a Pe rsuasive Direct Req_uest
1. Consider asking Immediately for t he Information or service you want. Delay the request
if it seems too abrupt or if you have several purposes in the message.
2 . Give readers all t he Information t hey will need t o act on your req_uest . Number your questions
or set them off with bullets so readers can check that all have been answered.
In a claim (where a product is under guarantee or a shipment was defective, for instance), explain what
happened . Be sure to include date of purchase , model or invoice number, and so on.
In more complicated direct requests , anticipate possible responses. Suppose you are asking for
information about equ ipment meeting certa in specifications. Explain which criteria are most important
so the reader can recommend an alternative if no s ingle product meets all your needs. You may also
mention your price constraints and ask whether the item is in stock or must be special-ordered.
3. Ask for t he act ion you want. Do you want a cheque? A replacement? A catalogue? Answers to your questions?
If you need an answer by a certain t ime, say so. If possible, show the reader why the time limit is necessary.
210 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Interoffice Memo C\…4:J’ Keep each message t o one topic .
To: Michael Antonucci
From: David Anthony, Chair. BCS Suggestion Committee
,. Topic of
req,uest In
subject line
Date: May 15 , 2017
Suggestion #q7204
Please evaluate the attached suggestion by May 2q.
,. Put rectuest
————j– in ‘I 1
,. Spellout
sul>ctuestions Should BCS adopt it? Why or why not?
• Will it save the company money? If so. how much a year?
• If the suggestion is adopted, how large an award should be given?
,. Make action
easy
,. Ask for the
You may put your answers and brief reasons for them at the bottom of this page —–it- acUon you want
or send them to me by e-mail (anthony.37@bcs.com). Please get your response
in by May 2q as the suggestion committee is meeting on May 30.
Thanks!
Catching Attention and Developing
a Common Ground
,. Reason to
act promptly
When you have a re luctant reade r, putting the req,uest
in the subj ect line just g ets a q,uick no before y ou have had
a cha nce to give all your a rgume nts. On e option is to use a
dire cte d s ubj ect line that ma kes your purpose an d stance
o n the issue clear. 16 In the following e xamples, the first is the
most n eutral, while the remaining two increasingly reve al the
writer’s preference:
Subj ect: A Proposal to Change the Formula for Calculating
Retirees· Benefits
In o rde r to persuade, you first need to ca tch attention by
beginning with a startling fa ct or s tatistic, e ngaging q,uestion,
thoug htful complintent, striking headline, or q,uotation. For
e xample, instead of making a gene ral claim a bout the costs of
poverty, you c ould me ntion that “every single day 30,000 c hil-
dre n are dying as a result of e xtre me pove rty.”
Subj ect: Why Cassano’ s Should Close Its Westside Store
Subj ect: Arguments for Expand ing the Wolfville Plant
A common ground avoids the of some per-
suasive situations and s uggests that both you and your a udie nce
have a mutual interest in solving the problems you fa ce. The
best common grounds are specific . Often a prob-
lem readers will want to a good c ommon ground.
Figure 9.3 Indirect Persuasive Problem·Solving Message
1. Catch readers’ Inte rest by mentioning a common ground. Show that your message will be interesting
or beneficial. You may want to catch attention with a negative (which you will show can be solved).
2. Define the problem you share (which your req,uest will solve). Present the problem objectively: don’ t assign
blame or mention personalities. Be specific about the cost in money, t ime , and lost goodwill. Once you have
convinced readers that something has to be done, you can convince them that your solution is the best one.
3. Explain the solution to the problem. If you know readers will favour another solution, start
with that solution and show wh y it won’t work before you present your solution. Present your
solution wit hout using the words 1 or my. Don’t let personalities enter the pictu re.
4 . Show that positives outweigh any negative e lements (such as cost, time, etc.).
5. Summarize any additional benefits of the solution. Present the main benefit- solving the problem-
briefly, s ince you described the problem in detail. Mention any additional benefits.
6. Req,uest and motivate the action you want. Often your readers will authorize or approve something;
other people will implement the action. Give readers a reason to act prompt ly , perhaps offering a
new reader benefit (e.g. , “By buying now, we can avoid the next quarter’s price hikes”) .
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 2 11
,- Common
ground -11—–
,- Problem – 1——
“‘ Specific __]——
example of
problem
,- Solution
presented
imperson ally
,- Additional
reader benefit
,- Ask for
action
Memorandum
To: All Staff Members
From: Melissa J. Gutridge lfJ’4
Date: February 16, 2017
Subject: Why We Are Implementing a New Sign-Out System
Successfully main streaming our d ients into the community is very imponant and daily
interaction with the public is necessary. Our clients enjoy the times they get to go to
the mall or out to lunch instead of remaining here all day. Recently, however, clients
have been taken out on activities without a staff member’s knowing wtlere the client
is or with whom.
We need to know where all clients are at all times because social workers,
psychologists. and relatives constantly stop by unannounced. Last week Janet’s father
stopped by to pick her up for a doctor’s appointment and she was not here. No one
knew where she was. Naturally her father was very upset and wanted to know what
kind of program we were running. Such situations are damaging to the good reputation
of our staff and program.
Staning Monday, February 23, a sign-out board will be located by Betty’s desk.
Please write down where you and the d ient are going and when you expect to be
back. When signing out, help clients sign themselVes out. We can turn this into a
reaming experience for our clients. Then when a social worker stops by to see
someone who isn’t here. we can simply look at the sign-out board to tell where the
client is and when he or she will return.
Please help keep up the superb reputation you have helped Community Uving earn as
a quality centre for adults with disabilities. Sign out yourself and clients at all times.
“‘ Directed
subject line indi-
cates writer’s
position
x WEAK COMMON GROUND: Explaining the Solution to the Problem
This program has had some difficulty finding enough
individuals to volunteer their services for the children. As a
result, we are sometimes unable to provide the one-on-one
mentoring that is our goal.
V”‘ IMPROVED COMMON GROUND:
On five Sundays in the last three months, we have had too
few volunteers to provide one-on-one mentoring. Last Sunday,
we had just two students to take eight children to the Museum
of Science and Industry.
Defining the Problem
Include a problem description that is concise, concrete, a nd
carefully targeted to your audience. In recommending a new
wellness program, the following might arouse management
interest
With job stress creating 60% of absen teeism , reducing
productivity, and sucking the profits out of the business , a
wellness program is an investment that returns $3 in cost
benefits for every $1 spent.
21 2 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Avoiding judgmental language or personal references (I , me),
present your solution in factual, reliable, impersonal tenns. For
example, supply figures to support your claims about profits
being sucked out of the business. According to the Conference
Board of Canada, absenteeism costs in Canada are estimated
at $16_6 billion annuallyY Vancouver Airport Authority experi-
enced a drop in absenteeism a mong participants in its Workplace
Wellness Program from 4.07% to 2.56%.18 When employee reten-
tion is becoming an issue, survey results on employee satisfac-
tion would add to the logical appeals.
If you know your readers will hear other points of view, or
if your a udience’s initial position is negative, you have to deal
with their obj ections to persuade them. The stronger tl1e obj ec-
tion is, the earlier in your message you s hould deal with it.
The best way to deal objection is to eliminate it For
instance, one dealer k eeps freq,uently ordered items in stock to
eliminate the objection, “I don’t want to wait” Toyota added
to its strategies to entice young people to buy cars by ta king
the cars to the shoppers; it set up its showrooms in the walk-
ways of a s hopping centre it owns and operates in Yokohama. 19
If an obj ection is false and is based on misinformation, give
tl1e response to the obj ection without naming the obj ection (as
in a “q,uestionlanswer” fo nnat in a brochure)_ For instance,
not rest on its laurels. It invests in Canadian-specific photography
for ads, well aware that Scandinavian interiors look very differ-
ent from Canadian ones. Plain white paperbacks on European
shelves don’t resonate in Canada. Nor do the native light woods
that help maximize space in Europe work in Canada, where larger
homes and dark woods are in order.
Tim Hortons is learning about the cross-cultural challenge of
its persuasive appeals in connecti ng with new markets. When
it ran a TV spot during the Vancouver 2010 Olympics opening
ceremonies featuring an African immigrant being welcomed to
Canada with a Tim Hortons coffee and winter clothes, it was criti-
cized for exploiting the immigrant experience. Communications
professor Robert Seiler felt the spot risked misrepresenting “our
treatment of immigrants” and the obstacles they face in becom-
ing part of Canadian society .
Others worry that the “cost-cutting” ways of Tim Hortons· cur-
rent owners, 3G Capital, are “cutting the heart out of a Canadian
icon· and destroying a Tim Hortons corporate culture built on
“friendships and kinships • and consumer loyalty, nourished by
“The True Stories· ads focused on Canadian values.
Tim Hortons’ Canadian identity resonates for its exoticism in
Taiwan, but not in the United States, where it needs to rebui ld the
brand for an American market.
If videos can help reach across cultural differences, captions and
subtitles in the viewers’ native language can add to search engine
optimization and access new audiences in areas of high YouTube
viewing (Indian, Russia, Germany, and France, for example).
• Based on Marina Strauss. ‘How does IKEA Seduce Us?· Report on Business. June 2010. 56-61: Simon Houpt. · rim Hortons: At the Intersection of
Commerce and Culture.” The Globe and Mad. March 5. 2010 , BS; Marina Strauss, “Inside the Messy Transformation of Tim Hortons, • Report on Business.
March 2017, 26- 35: Christopher Sansom. “‘Can Captions Connect Your Business Globally?” Communicarion WO!Id, February 21. 2017. accessed http;/ f
cw.iabc.com/2017 /02/21/can captions-connect your business-globally/.
health economi st Robert Evans of the U niversity of British
Co lumbia debunk s the myth that aging boomers are going
to cause a health car e crisis-a m yth repeated by the media
as well as polic y maker s and p undits. Instead of responding
directly to the objection, Professor Ev ans focuses attention
on the inflati onary effec ts of incr eased drug costs and heal th
care provider salaries, on t11e increasing good health of boom-
ers and the r educed time “between decline and death; and on
more aggressi ve medical intervent i ons for all groups. 20
Showing That Positives Outweigh Negatives
If real objec tions r em ain, try one or mor e of the following
strategies to counter obj ecti ons.
1. Specify how much time and/or money is r eq,uired-it may
not be as much as readers f ear :
Distributing flyers to each house or apartment in your
neighbourhood will probably take two afternoons.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
>- ‘ I I I I
Published in the United Kingdom as Flipnos is, the book Split·
Second Persuasion disarms readers with case studies of the art
and science of persuasion. Alt hough some have more talent than
others, author Kevi n Dutton argues, •it’s largely t rial and error.”
From babies to adverti sers and airline stewards to health care
workers, con men, police, sales people, and professional negot ia-
t ors , the best f ollow the SPICE formula:
• Simplicity
• Perceived self-interest
• Incongruity (often disarmi ng humour)
• Confidence
• Empat hy
Knowing this f ormula can help protect against its seductive
power, although Dutton warns about • the brain’s hard-wired pref-
erence to be part of a group” as a survival mechanism.
Similarly, fear alone does not cause behaviour change when
people have a tendency t o think others “cause or are victimized by
serious calamit ies.” In the case of a dist racted driving campaign
targeting young dri vers, f ear of death was less motivating than
fear of • living life with limitations.” Public education works better
when it balances “fear-based messages· with • a coping mecha-
nism.” For instance, when Cineplex aired a texting-and-driving
lie service announcement that engaged the audience in a game
using the TimePiay app, 6q% took a pledge not to t ext and drive.
Professor Dante Pirouz of the Richard lvey School of Business
studies the brain’s response to adverti si ng encouraging people
to do risky things. She found that cigarett e ads stimulate crav-
ings not only among smokers, but also among non-smokers, and
adults are as susceptible as children. Her findings are relevant
to alcohol industry defences, such as self-regulat ory Advertisi ng
Standards canada’s argument that ads for alcohol persuade pe
of 334 pieces to 14.9 million addresses was down 13%.23 After
y ears of profits until2011, Canada Post reported a $193 million
operating loss in 20 13; a Confer ence Board of Canada study
pr edicts $1 billion annual shortfalls within ten years. Yet
online shopping has added to par cel revenue (7.2% revenue
inc rease in 2013), and charities and otl1ers remain significant
direct mail senders; in the first two q,uarters of 20 16, Canada
Post r eported $45 million before-tax profit.:!-1
Against Dirty ” to spread the word, resulting in 4 ,000 Twitter fol-
lowers in 2010, while Tide boasted fewer than 200. By 2017.
Tide was attracting 184K followers compared to Method’s 32. 7K.
Instead of depicting cleaning as ” drudgery; the company exudes
energy and promotes products with phrases such as “floor love.”
It s mix of style and environmentalism appeals to those who are
invested in doing the right thing.
Responding to US efforts to boycott the oil sands, then
Environment Minister Pet er Kent”s “ethical oil” marketing strat-
egy promoted Canadian democracy’s superiority to resource-rich
but democracy-poor alternatives. “It is a regulated product ..
The proceeds are used to better society; Kent claimed.
•Based on Jennifer Myers. · rhe Greening of The Globe and Mail. May 22. 2010. 815: Simon Houpt. a’Taking on Big Soaps: There’s Method
in this Marketing Madness,” The Globe and Mail, January 8. 2010. 81 6: Steven Chase, ·Peter Kent’s Plan to Clean up the Oil Sands’ Dirty Reputation,”
The Globe and Mail. January 7. 2011, AS q_
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 21 q
physical ma r ke ting reported some s urprising findings: digital
messages “require 21% mor e cognitive effort to process and
retain than phys ical messages.” While there is 75% r ecall (and
20% “hig her m otivation response”) fo r physical messages, dig-
ita l ones achieve only 44% recall. This fin ding is indicative of
the r eappearance of paper cata logues (at Canadian Tire) a nd
brick-and-mortar stores (at Amazon).25
Good direct mail has three components: a good pr oduct,
service, o r cause; a good mailing Jist; a nd a good appeal
• A good p roduc t appeals to a specific segment of p eople,
can be mailed, a n d p rovides a n adequate profit margin. A
good s e r vice or cause fills a n identifiable need.
• A good mailing list has accur ate addresses and is a good
match to the product. In-house lists of customers o r mem-
b ers can be s upplemented p rospects from city direc-
to ries, lists r ented from specialist companies, o r exchange
lists M th similar o r ganizations.
• A good a ppe al offers a believable descrip tion of be nefits,
links tlte benefits of the product o r service to a need or desire
tl1at motivates readers, makes iliem want to read the Jetter,
and motivates tltern to act. The appeal is n1ade up of ilie words
in ilie Jetter, tlte pictures in the brochure or rack card, and all
the parts of ilie package, from outer envelope to r eply card.
All three e lements a r e c m cial. This sectio n focus es on the
elem ents of a good appeal: how to cr eate a message tllat \vill
Research s hows that food labels impact consumer choices and
that Canadians a re s howing less trust in the food system and
more concern about food fra ud. A 2016 Canadian Centre for Food
Integrity 2,500-participant study fou nd that 50% are unsure if the
Canadian fo od system is ·going in the right direction; while 20%
a re convinced • it’s on the wrong track.”
Trust has been e roded by disease o utbreaks, animal cruelty,
the indust rialization of food production, distance between produc-
e rs a nd consumers . competing scientific claims (even involving
Canada’s Food Guide), concerns about nutrition and e nvironment,
allergies, misleading labels . mislabelled product, a nd unreliable
Internet sources. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency receives
40 complaints a year about “food mis representation :
Subject to Health Canada standards, food labels make health
a nd nutrition claims and list calories and ingredients relative to
mo tivate r eader s to act, asswn ing that you already have a
good pr oduct to sell o r a wortlty cause to raise funds fo r and
tltat you a lr eady have a good Jist of people who might be inter-
ested in tllat product, cause, or o r ganization.
Su ccessf ul sales and fundr aising messages depend on thr ee
steps:
• Understanding your pr oduct, service, o r o r ganizatio n .
• Knowing your targe t audien ce (i.e., people likely to be
interested in your p roduct, service, o r cause).
• Choosing a central selling point (i.e., a benefit tllat could
mo tivate your r eade rs and tltat acts as an um brella under
which a ll the other benefits f it).
Writing an effective enlai! message rather tllan a Jetter has
been estinlated to cut costs to about o ne-fifth of a print mailing.26
Industry Msdom s u ggests tltat a cold list – a list of peo-
ple Mth no pr ior connection to your group- \vill have a 2%
r esponse rate. Good tinting, a good Jist, and a good appeal can
do uble o r even trip le tllat per centage.
For people who open some of their maU, the tlrree most
important factors in deciding whe tlte r to o pen a specific enve-
lope are tinting, personalization, and an attractive appearance.27
Inbox overload and f ears of phishing scams add to direct
ma il appeal. But companies t hat want people to continue open-
ing direct maU have to be car ef ul tllat what they send is not
jtmk. People today r eceive so n1any marketing messages that
they are intpatient when the messages seem irrelevant.
serving s ize. However, research s hows that many consumers find
them overly vague (e.g., ·natural” claims ) or technical and dif·
fi cult and confu s ing to interpret. Vanderlee and colleagues found
that 54.2% were able to identify the number of calories in a tested
beverage, 35.8% underestimated, and 10% overestimated.
While many read organic labels as a q,uality s ignal. one study
s howed that o rganic labels o n high brand equity products are
less effective than on products with low brand equity. A 2013
study by Turner and associates fo und that women associate “low
fat • with “healthy,” although they a re not synonymous.
Amendments to Food and Drug Regulations in 2016 aim to
make the Nutrition Facts table and list of ingredients “easier for
Canadians to use and understand.” Regulating serving s ize and
allowing health claims about fru its and vegetables s imilarly aims
to fa cilitate comparisons for healthy choices.
•Based on Treena Hein. ·canadian Centre for Food Integrity Launches.H Food in C:anada, August Cl, 2016, accessed http:/ jwww.foodincanada.comjfood
in-canadajcanadian.centre–food-integrity-launches 134661/; The Canadian Centre for Food Integrity. · 2016 Canadian Public Trust Research: With Insights
from Moms, Millennia Is and Foodies.H accessed http:/ fwww.farm foodcare.org/canadajwpocontenVuploads/2016/05/2016 Public-Trust-Research-Report.
pdf: Aleksandra Sagan. •Most canadians Concemed about Food Fraud,” The Globe and Mail. February 22, 2017, A 7: Sylvain Charlebois, · Industry Input
or Not. Canada’s Food Guide Should be Modernized with Consumers in Mind.H Report on Business, December 6, 2016, 84; L Vandertee. S. Goodman,
W.S. Yang. and D. Hammond, “Consumer Understanding of Calorie Amounts and Serving Size: Implications for Nutritional Labeling.- canadian Journal of
Public Health 103. no. 5 (2012): 327 -31; Fabrice Larceneux, Aorence Benoit Moureau. and Valerie Renaudin. ·Why Might Organic Labels Fail to Influence
Consumer Choices? Marginal Labelling and Brand Equity Effects.H Journal of Consumer Policy 35, no. 1 (2012): 85- 102: Katie Turner, Shelagh Ferguson,
Julia Craig. Alice Jeffries, and Sarah Beaton, “Gendered Identity Negotiations through Food Consumption.- Young Consumers 14, no. 3 (2013): 280 88;
Government of Canada, “Government of Canada Finalizes Changes to the Nutrition Facts Table and list of Ingredients on Packaged Foods.H news release,
December 14, 2016. accessed http:/ jnews.gc.cajwebjarticle en.do?nid=116qJ7q.
220 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
HOW TO ORGANIZE A SALES
OR FUNDRAISING LETIER
Use the AIDA persuasive plan to organize sales or fundraising
letters (see Figure 9.10).
Note that sales or f undraising letters omit dates (a cam-
paign may last months), an inside address, and even a saluta-
tion, although some open with Dear Reader, for instance. This
strategy allows for maximum flexibility as organizations tar-
get their ma iling lis ts.
Opener (Attention)
The opener of your letter gives you 30 to 60 seconds to moti-
vate readers to read the rest of the letter. A good opener will
make readers want to read tl1e letter and provides a reason-
able transition to the body of the letter (see Figure 9.11).
A very successful s ubscription letter for Psychology Today
started out as follows:
Do you still close the bathroom door when there’ s no one
in the house?
The q,uestion is both intriguing in itself and a good transi-
tion into tl1e content of Psychology Today: practical psychol-
ogy applied to the q_uirks and q,uestions we come across in
everyday life.
It’s essential that the opener not only get the reader’s atten-
tion, but also be something that can be linked logically to the
body of the letter. A sales letter started as follows:
Can you use $50 th is week?
Certainly tl1at gets attention. But the letter offered readers
only the chance to save $50 on a product. Readers may feel
disappointed or even cheated when they learn that instead of
getting $50, they have to spend money to save $50.
It’s ha rd to write a brilliant opener the minute you sit down.
To brainstorm possible openers, use tl1e four basic modes:
startling statements, q,uotations, q,uestions, and narration.
Figure 9.10 AIDA Pers uasive Plan
1. Startling Statements
Dear Membersh ip Candidat e:
I’m writ ing to offer you a job.
It’s not a permanent job, understand . You will be working
for only as much t ime as you find it rewarding and fun.
It’s not even a paying job. On the contrary , it will cost you
money.
This fundraising letter from Earthwatch invites readers
to participate in its expeditions, subscribe to its j ournal, and
donate to its progran1S. Eartl1watch’s volunteers help scien-
tists and scholars dig for ruins, count bighorns, and monitor
changes in water; they can work as long as they like; and they
pay their own (tax-deductible) expenses.
2. Quotations
” I never tell my partner that my ankle is sore or my back
hurts. You can’t give in to pain and still perform. ”
– Jill Murphy, Soloist
Quotations sell season tickets to the Royal Winnipeg Ballet by
focusing on the people who work to create the season. The
letters encourage readers to see the artists as individuals,
to appreciate their ha rd work, and to share their excitement
about each perfonn ance.
3. Questions
Dear Writer:
What is the best way to sta rt writing?
This letter selling s ubscriptions to Writer’s Digest goes
on to discuss Hemingway’s strategy for getting started on
his novels and sh ort stories. Writer’s Digest offers practical
advice to writers who want to be published so the recipient
keeps reading.
1. Gain Attent ion: open with a provocative head line, sta rtling statements or facts, audience benefit , compliment ,
quotation , question, summary of problem; action, stories, or point of agreement.
2. Create Interest : support your argument in concrete and specific terms (e.g., facts , figures,
examples, experts), underlining benefits and appealing to fairness.
3. Build Desire while reducing Resistance: imagine and anticipate scenarios,
underline credibility, and cite testimonials and test results.
4 . Motivate Action: reinforce benefits, ask for a specific response, and give deadlines linked to incentives.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 22 1
.r Attentiot>-
getter visually
sut>stitutes for–
inside address,
salutation
.r Reader t>en-
efit saved for
a P.S. People’s – 1—–
eyes go to P.S.,
which they may
read llefore
returning to rest
of letter
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4_ Narration, Stories, Anecdotes It pierced the eighth ring. The seventh. The sixth. It punc-
tured the innermost and last. Then just as suddenly as it
had appeared, the dagger of light was gone. The young
woman glanced at her watch again. Exactly twelve min-
utes had elapsed_
Dear Reader:
She hoisted herself up noiselessly so as not to disturb
the rattlesnakes snoozing there in the sun.
To her left, the high desert of New Mexico. Indian country.
To her right, the rock carvings she had photographed the
day before. Stick people. Primitive animals.
Up ahead, three sandstone slabs stood stacked against
the face of the cliff. In their shadow, another carving. A
spiral consisting of rings. Curious, the young woman drew
closer. Instinctively, she glanced at her watch. It was
almost noon. Then just at that moment, a most unusual
thing happened.
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, an eerie dagger of light
appeared to stab at the topmost ring of the spiraL It next
began to plunge downwards-shimmering, laser-like.
222 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
Coincidence? Accident? Fluke? No. What she may have
stumbled across that midsummer morning three years
ago is an ancient solar calendar. __ _
The opener of this Science84 s ubscription letter both builds
suspense so that readers read the subscription letter and sug-
gests t11at the magazine will be as interesting as the letter and
as easy to read.
Body (Interest)
The body of the letter provides t11e logical and emotional links
that move readers from t11eir first flicker of interest to the
fits, overcomes their objections, and involves them emotionally.
• Stories about people who have used the product or who
need the organization’s he lp
All this takes space. One of the industry truisms is, “111e more
you tell, the more you sell.” Tests show tl1at longer letters bring
in more new customers or new donors than do s horter letters.
• Word pictures of readers using the product and enjoying its
benefits
Body (Desire)
Can short letters work? Yes, when you are writing to old
customers or when the mailing is s upported by other media
(see Figure 9.12). One study showed that a one-page Jetter was
just as effective as a two-page Jetter in persuading recent pur-
chasers of a product to buy a service contract 28 Email direct
mail is a lso short—9enerally j ust one screen. The shortest Jet-
ter on record may be the two-word postcard that a fishing Jake
resort sent its customers: “They’re biting!”
Content for the body of the Jetter can include the following:
Build desire while reducing resistance by adding detail that
answers readers’ q_uestions. What concerns might they have
about products or services? What reassurances do tl1ey need?
Promote your credibility by citing evidence and a uthorities to
support your clain1s. Preparing your readers for the call to action
in the close, this section can usefully cite from these sources:
• Survey results • Information readers will find useful even if they do not buy
or give • Testimonials from satisfied constuners
• Test results • Stories about how the product was developed or what the
organization has done • Expert/celebrity endorsements
Figur e 9.12 A Fundraising Letter
Dear friend,
Your gifts to the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada are helping
. improve life for the 100,000 Canadians who live with MS. Thanks to your
“‘ AttenUot>- __ support, we have been a ble to advanoe research in myelin rej)air, immune
getter – system rebooting, physical activity and wellness, and improved drug therapies.
In the last several years alone, you’ve seen us lead an unprecedented
global effort to solve the mystery of progressive MS, with virtually dozens of
. .]lew research projects m the pipeline. You·ve teamed of an important new
“‘ Logic and that offers hope from stem cell transplantation. And you’ve followed our
emouonallmks – efforts to bring new wellness solutions to people living with MS.
in body
It is, truly, a new era in MS research. Hope for new treatments and
solutions for people living with MS Is high.
And yet, Canada has the highest rate of MS in the wortd. MS is
“Canada’s disease” and we need to end it. That’s where you come ln.
Please help us accelerate research – and continue to deliver new ..,. Positive
.r Reason to 1– _ treatments and a cure to thousands of Canadians – by makin& a gift to picture
act MS Society today.
Source: MS Society of Canada.
Sincerely,
President and Chief Executive Oflicer
Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada
.r Reader
—-tr efits highlighted
In Informal P.S.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 223
The a ction close in the letter must do four things:
1. Te U t h e re ade r what to do. Respond. A,·oid if ( “IJ you
would like to try … “) and tchy 1wt (“Why not send in a
cheq,ue?”). 11tey lack positive emphasis and encourage
your reader to say no.
2. Make the a c tion s ound easy . Fill in the informaHo n on
the reply card, s ign the card (for credit sales), put the ca rd
and c heque (if payment is to a ccompany Ute order) in Ute
e nvelope (i f postage-paid, stress it), and mail the envelope.
OuUine o nline options.
3. Offe r a reas on for acting promptly . Readers who wait
to act are less lil