peer reveiw of wp1

Peer’s article and the reqirements and questions of peer review are attached

Collaborative Writing Project
Peer Review Worksheet

Collaborative Writing Project

Peer Review Worksheet

Peer Review Worksheet

Name of author ________________ Name of reviewer__________________

1. Introduction: How does the first paragraph introduce both the paper’s topic and the writer’s approach or general conclusion? Is the first sentence attention-getting and relevant to the topic?

2. What can you identify as a thesis statement? Suggest, if possible, a way to improve the introduction or thesis statement.

3. Structure: Can you identify the organization of the paper from the main idea of each paragraph? What are the main concepts explored in the paper? Does each paragraph make a relevant point that is distinct from what has already been covered? What are the main conclusions?

4. Clarity/Style: Did you find distracting grammar, punctuation, spelling, or word usage problems? Circle them and identify any patterns or themes you detect. Is the tone of the essay formal? If you find awkward sentences, try to explain why they don’t make sense to you.

5. Resources: Does the author clearly identify his/her sources? Is proper in-text and reference format used?

6. What is/are the paper’s greatest strength(s)? Explain.

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Yi1

Hongkun Yi

Professor Morris

English 2367

2/11/2020

Power of Identity: Barak Obama’s 2004 keynote speech to Democratic National Convention

America is a magical country that creates a home for all people from racial and ethnic backgrounds. People of all directions of the world all the United States of America their home either by birth, naturalization and many other forms towards the acquisition of citizenship thereby creating a country with diverse characteristics of humanity. But in the deepest crown of people living in the country, each has their uniqueness in personality that define their manner of interaction with other people around either from the same community or outsiders. Personal identity, therefore, plays an essential role in social life as it forms (Biography.com) the basis of self-perception, which creates the ground for interpersonal interaction, such as working together with other people for a greater good. The keynote speech delivered by then-Senator for Illinois, Barak Obama, at the 2004 Democratic National Convention presented Obama’s self-identity and how his identity could serve to unite the country which was greatly polarised on politics (Buncombe). He used his personal story of origin as an allegory of American history and that he could represent the face, feeling and social status of the country. Obama’s multi-racial identity could easily juxtapose the multiracial society of the United States and the struggle his family went through in search of a better life could translate the average American life in their daily activities towards making their experience better. It is his presentation of the speech that effectively presented his self-perception which created his unique identity that resonated with the feelings of the larger American society.

According to Biograhy.com, Baraka Obama was born out of a Kenyan father and an American mother. His father, Barak Hussein Obama Senior, had visited the United States on an education scholarship program when he met Obama’s mother, his fellow student, and bore Barak Hussein Obama Junior. Unlike in his mother’s side of the family that enjoyed a family of average economic status, his father’s family was more impoverished that could not afford the essential things in life despite its hope for a good experience for its members. Obama’s father could not stay with the young family in America after his scholarship was over. His grandparents struggled through service to the country in the World Wars and the factories to ensure food was available and education was attainable the family with a hope of a better future. Barak Obama, therefore identified himself as a perfect definition of American society since the country is a composition of a complex unity of communities with diverse backgrounds of origins and cultures but with sameness in the struggle for the betterment of their lives through in what is identified as the American dream. The United States of America draws its identity from European, Asian and African immigrants who started to live together among the indigenous of the land on various individualized purposes. However, the attained independence of the American from the British throne in 1776 formed a primary identity among all people in the country towards unified aspirations for better living through equity and equality (The Department of State -The Office of The Historian).

Obama opens the speech by presenting himself as a descendant of the poor minorities with minimal opportunities in society, just like the experience of most non-white people in the country. However, his identity connected both the minority and the majority communities of the country. He claimed that his presence in the more prominent political platforms was unlikely given his humble background. He provided his identity by narrating his two words of parents that shared so little. He described that “My father was a foreign student, born and raised in a small village in Kenya. He grew up herding goats, went to school in a tin-roof shack” and that his mother “was born in a town on the other side of the world, in Kansas.” The two families had too had “big dreams for their [children], a common dream born of two continents,” and they worked very hard to find every opportunity to better their lives. He presents himself as a person out of two different worlds and therefore a symbol of diversity. He also a product of a near impossibility as his father attains prestigious higher education despite coming from a humble background besides fathering a child with a white woman in a world the resented black people. His identity, therefore, is multiple, both white and black, poor and rich, and he could readily represent the views of the standard American society. Obama’s story resonated with the majority of Americans as they could identify with his life.

The speech provides the identity of others as improper behaviors that bring division, lack of cooperation among people who can otherwise come together for mutual goodness. He claimed that “I stand here knowing that my story is part of the larger American story” that he had been pushed to feel small growing up as a child with a funny name, from black community with poor background and therefore not entitled to enjoy opportunities similar to majority groups in society. However, his parents gave him “an African name, Barack, or “blessed,” believing that in a tolerant America, your name is no barrier to success,” which represents the collective identity of Americans as one people with similar problems and equal opportunities in every aspect of life. His quoting of the declaration of independence as men are created equal and therefore entitled to enjoy an equitable and fair treatment in life for the same prosperity emphasizes his connecting of his two worlds to American history in an allegory.

Although the speech diverted to suit its political context of that moment as a campaign tool for John Kerry’s presidential ambitions, it assisted in public understanding Obama’s self-perception, and his identity as an individual who connects closely with every person in the country. his unique and yet a commonly representing story among Americans as a descendant of conflicting worlds that find common grounds in the struggles for betterment is encouraging and unifying. His story narrated the experience of both the poor and the wealthy Americans from the racial divide as he transferred hi personal identity to the identity of the larger American family for unity and cooperation in their endeavors. Identity, is, therefore, provided in the speech as fundamental in shaping human performance in their individual or collective spaces.

Works Cited

Biography.com. “Barack Obama.” Biography, 9 Mar. 2018, www.biography.com/us-president/barack-obama. Accessed 3 Feb. 2020.

Buncombe, Andrew. “The Speech That First Alerted the World to Barack Obama’s Brilliance.” The Independent, 16 Jan. 2017, www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/barack-obama-key-note-speech-democratic-national-conference-dnc-dreams-of-my-father-boston-us-a7520291.html. Accessed 3 Feb. 2020.

The Department of State: The Office of The Historian. “Milestones: 1776–1783.” The Department of Sates: Office of the Historian, 2020, history.state.gov/milestones/1776-1783/declaration. Accessed 3 Feb. 2020.