how do i make my writing more advanced

Dear Mr. Freitas today I’m starting with my favorite part so Aldi has like a hundred friends now and he had there’s this girl he likes, she likes him back it’s so cute. And he’s got surgery and he’s looking better now he can breathe like a normal kid eats and he’s so happy I think that’s amazing for such a sweet kid like him it’s so sweet to see him happy you know the story it’s based on a real story. Now time for my favorite part so my favorite part is now how to think about that how he is getting his girl he likes her friends we like each other and I think it’s starting to get cute how they’re like falling for each other and no one’s bullying him anymore everybody’s being super nice and I think that’s like an amazing part in the story help making friends not being bullied. It’s so sweet I’m so happy for him.