Essay

CHAPTER

1

Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Jack walked into the office where three of his sales managers were
reviewing the latest sales figures. So engrossed were they in
discussing the disappointing results and what might be causing the
sudden downturn in business, they did not hear him approach. Jack
cleared his throat rather loudly, interrupting an obviously important
and spirited discussion about work. “Kelly,” he said firmly, “I need to
see you about that Allied account. We need to get some information to
corporate.” He turned on his heels, leaving Kelly to wrinkle up her
nose and explain to her colleagues that she would have to get back to
them about continuing this analysis. She quickly followed Jack to his
office.

Assuming that the information corporate needed did not
represent a crisis, how would you assess Jack’s handling of this
situation? What effect did his approach have on Kelly and her
colleagues?

Jack, like too many managers, used the “boss” technique to get
what he wanted done. He demonstrated poor social skills and
possibly did long-term damage to goodwill by first assuming
that the obviously work-related discussion was not particularly
important, and then by barging in on it. Kelly and her
colleagues would have been much more interested in
complying with Jack’s request had he:

1) waited until there was a good stopping point in their
conversation and they acknowledged his presence;

2) greeted them with a few pleasant words;
3) asked what they were discussing and appeared

interested in hearing about it (after all, he needs to
know about the sales figures, too);

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

4) explained what he needed and then asked for Kelly’s
input on when and how she could comply with his
request for information from corporate;

5) exchanged pleasant conversation as he and Kelly
walked to his office to work on the request.

This could indeed have been a crisis, but when the manager or
the organization is always operating in crisis mode, there are
usually management problems. It’s probably safe to conclude
that Jack’s behavior in this situation is an example of low
“Emotional Intelligence.”

Emotional Intelligence: A Definition

We are all familiar with the term intelligence quotient, or IQ, but
few managers in today’s workplaces understand much about
Emotional Intelligence — what is now being called “EQ.”
Managers know a great deal about the products or services that
their organizations deliver to customers, and they are
becoming more knowledgeable about the technology that puts
their organizations into the marketplace of ideas. When it
comes to issues involving individuals or groups, however,
many tend to fall short. Emotions and social skills don’t appear
to be as important to success in our jobs as facts and figures
and processes.

Just what is Emotional Intelligence anyway? Often called EQ
(Emotional-Intelligence quotient), Emotional Intelligence refers
to the array of personal-management and social skills that
allows one to succeed in the workplace and life in general. EQ
encompasses intuition, character, integrity, and motivation. It
also includes good communication and relationship skills.

But emotions in the workplace? Surely we want to keep
emotions out of the organization! The business world, after all,
moves on facts and figures — or so we think. But new evidence
makes a pretty compelling case that poor emotional and social
skills derail more careers than lack of technical expertise or
even general intelligence — what we think of as IQ.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Interestingly, very little research has been done on the science
of emotions in the past. In the last decade or so, the scientific
and even business literature has been filled with new evidence
explaining the neurophysiology and biochemistry of emotions
and their roles in our professional and personal lives. Case
studies of leaders and other successful people have added
additional evidence to support the vital role of emotions in
decision-making, leadership, and success in life. New research
on the subject will teach us even more.

Think about your own experiences for a moment. Have you
ever had a very strong “gut reaction” to a certain person or
situation? Have you ever walked into a room and sensed that
something was wrong, or taken a chance on something you just
knew was the right thing, even though the “facts” said
otherwise? Perhaps you weren’t able to explain exactly why
you reacted the way you did, but the sensation was powerful.
This was the voice of your intuition — the gut feeling you had
stemming from past emotional experiences stored in your
brain. This “knowing” is inside us all, but many of us have
been trained to ignore it in favor of rationality and logic.

Balancing Emotional and Intellectual Intelligences

When managers think of emotions, they often focus on
overreactions that they have witnessed in the workplace —
conflict, hurt feelings, or even their own embarrassing
moments. Letting emotions overpower our intellect is not what
we mean by Emotional Intelligence; in fact, quite the opposite
is true: out-of-control emotions are not what we want, at work
or elsewhere.

On the other hand, listening only to our rational, factual side is
not Emotional Intelligence, either. Feelings, instincts, and
intuitions gained through experience are vital sources of
information about the world around us. We operate with only
half the information we need to make valid decisions when we
try to use only rational, cognitively derived data. This
approach does not lead to overall success within any
organization or to a satisfying personal life.

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Psychologists quantify the rational thinking part of our brains;
they call it “intelligence quotient,” or IQ. Psychologists and
educators do not agree on exactly how to measure it nor what
the numbers really mean. Nonetheless, we have some widely
used and accepted measures of intelligence: An IQ of 120 tells
us something about a person’s general ability, as does an IQ of
85. We have known for decades, however, that intelligence
does not correlate highly with success on the job. In other
words, being highly intelligent and using your cognitive skills
do not guarantee success.

➢ True Emotional Intelligence is being able to
appropriately call upon information from the
emotional center of the brain, and balance that with
information from the rational center of the brain.

Based on a number of recent studies, experts now believe that
IQ, or general intelligence, contributes no more than 25% to
one’s overall success. Sure, it helps to be born with brainpower
and even to develop it, but this is not enough for success in life
or success in management. Some may advance the idea that
having expertise in a certain field determines success;
developing strong technical competency or specific intelligence
in your chosen field can indeed be a necessary step for initial
entry into the field, yet competency fails to add much to the
success equation. Most experts believe it contributes only
10–20% to success.

So, if it’s not just IQ and it’s not just technical expertise, what
else makes up the remainder of the formula for success — that
remaining 55–65%? Case studies and longitudinal studies by
highly regarded leaders give us a clue: Opportunity or
serendipity adds a few percentage points, but many well-
respected leaders create their own opportunities. They are able
to do so because they rank high on all dimensions of Emotional
Intelligence.

It is EQ that allows us to express preferences in decision-
making, passionately pursue a goal, control our temper, and
offer persuasive arguments for or against an idea. EQ explains

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

why we like certain people better than others, and helps us get
along with the ones we don’t. It is EQ that helps us establish
relationships and become politically savvy in the office, and it
is what keeps us going in difficult times. If you think business
is or should be based only on rational skills, the newest research
would urge you to rethink this notion: Emotional Intelligence is
the most fundamental dimension of leadership today and in
the foreseeable future, and the higher we aspire to or rise in
leadership positions, the more important it becomes.

Toward a Model of EQ

Emotional Intelligence, because of its “people-focus,” is based
on sound competency in two major dimensions: Self and Social.
The high-EQ person must have knowledge and a positive attitude,
and behave skillfully in the Self and Social dimensions.

Emotional Intelligence has been broken down into six areas,
defined as follows:

SELF Dimension of Emotional Intelligence
Our Emotional Intelligence comes, in part, from our
understanding and acceptance of ourselves in three areas:

1. Knowledge = Self-Awareness:
Accurately knowing our own feelings, preferences, goals,
and values; sensing how others feel about us, and using
that information to guide our behavior.

2. Attitude = Self-Confidence:
A “can-do” attitude, a belief in ourselves; overcoming
self-doubt and taking reasonable risk; being assertive
and not aggressive; being goal-directed; admitting
mistakes and moving on.

3. Behavior = Self-Control:
Dealing well with stress; controlling emotional moods or
outbursts without overcontrol; being adaptable;
balancing rational and emotional considerations.

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

SOCIAL Dimension of Emotional Intelligence
The other three facets of Emotional Intelligence have to do
with the experience and interactions with others — our
social relationships:

4. Knowledge = Empathy:
Easily reading and understanding others; having
empathy; listening well; reading non-verbal cues.

5. Attitude = Motivation:
Taking initiative; having a positive outlook; being
creative; inspiring others; doing things we believe in and
are committed to.

6. Behavior = Social Competency:
Finding common ground to establish rapport and
minimize conflict; persuading and influencing others;
being likable and having positive relationships; having
integrity.

The six facets in Emotional Intelligence are illustrated in the
model, which we refer to as the K-A-B Model (see p. 7).

There is an overlap between the Self and Social dimensions (we
get some of our “self” information, and our attitude, from
“social” relationships). Our knowledge, attitude, and behavior
also intermingle, which is why the lines in the model are
broken lines to show that the boundaries between the facets are
fluid.

The rest of this Pocket Guide will introduce you to the science
behind what we are now calling Emotional Intelligence and
help you assess where your EQ needs bolstering. In it, we will
explain the value of emotions at work, and provide you with
specific techniques to improve your own EQ. The Manager’s
Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence will help you grow as a
person and as a professional, and help you become more
successful and more satisfied with your life and work.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Self Dimension of Emotional Intelligence

Knowledge: Self-Awareness
Attitude: Self-Confidence
Behavior: Self-Control

Attitude
Self-Confidence

Knowledge
Self-Awareness

Behavior
Self-Control

Behavior
Social Competency

Knowledge
Empathy

Attitude
Motivation

SELF
DIMENSION

SOCIAL
DIMENSION

SELF
DIMENSION
SOCIAL
DIMENSION

Social Dimension of Emotional Intelligence

Knowledge: Empathy
Attitude: Motivation
Behavior: Social Competency

K-A-B Model of Emotional Intelligence

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Improving Your EQ

Your EQ can continue to increase over your lifetime, and can
even be improved in every arena of your life. In fact, life itself is
the laboratory where we build greater EQ. You can work on
your Emotional Intelligence when you are alone, or when you
are with your employees, co-workers, family, friends,
neighbors, or acquaintances. It will take 3–6 months to make
any substantial improvement in Emotional Intelligence, but the
payoff is worth it if you answer yes to any of these questions:

Do you want to be more in control at work or at
home?

Would you like to be able to deal more effectively
with personal stress?

Would you like to have a wider circle of influence?

Do you want to commit to and move ahead with
your goals?

Would you like people around you to be more
productive?

Do you long to take risks and overcome your fear of
change?

Would you like to develop a more positive and
hopeful attitude?

And, finally, do you want to live a more satisfying
and successful life?

We can’t really separate the rational from the emotional any
more than we can separate our work from our personal lives.
The quality of one is inextricably linked to the other: what we
learn off the job translates into lessons on the job, and vice
versa. The positive discipline and positive reinforcement you
use with your child, for example, can be duplicated with your
employees; relating better with your workers will bring
positive rewards at home, as well.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotions need not be a problem in the workplace; the right
ones augment productivity and workplace harmony, but it
takes EQ to know how to manage them. Many people have the
title of “manager” but are simply ineffective in their positions.
Real leaders are those who actively inspire and motivate
others, create teamwork, and achieve outstanding results; they
model the behavior they want to see in their employees.
Emotional Intelligence can move you from management to
leadership, and make the people at the top sit up and take
notice of your contributions to the company.

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