Discussion 8 – 205

  

Apply the Paramedic Method to the following five selections

1) As a means of providing scientists with appropriate tertiary data, the conference is intended to serve as a communication medium for everyone involved in the manipulation and dissemination of research findings.

2) The decision by the managers was that the committee for road improvement would cease its activity for the duration of the term.

3) From the beginning, the writing of this research article was marked by reluctance.

4. . If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,

 

5.. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure.

The Paramedic Method

“

An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS)

on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is
presented in this paper.”

This sentence is difficult to read for several reasons: readers have to wade through 26 words and an
acronym before they get to the sentence’s main verb, it uses the passive voice, and it has 7 prepositional
phrases.

How can we fix sentences like this one? The paramedic method! Developed by Richard Lanham, the
paramedic method is a set of clear steps for analyzing and revising wordy sentences. Writers use the
paramedic method to improve clarity and readability so that they communicate concisely and effectively.
Basically, the paramedic method helps make confusing syntax comprehensible.

1) Underline the prepositional phrases in the sentence. (Prepositions are words that indicate

relationships between nouns and pronouns. Words like at, in, on, of, to, about, around, below, above,
from, into, near, since, through, against, after, and outside are prepositions.)

An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS)

on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is

presented in this paper.

2) Circle the ‘to be’ (am, is, are, was, were) verbs.

An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS)
on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is
presented in this paper.

3) Put a box around nominalizations and (thus) identify the primary action. Nominalization are words that

have been changed from adjectives or verbs into nouns

An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS)
on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is
presented in this paper.

4) Write the nominalization/primary action as a simple verb.
Our example sentence has one nominalization that could potentially serve as the primary verb:
evaluation. When we transform the nominalization, evaluation becomes evaluate or evaluates.

5) Ask, “Who or what performs the action?” Then write the new base clause with the agent in the subject

position. Use the simple verb form from step 4.

“…for use in concrete pavements is presented in this paper.”
(agent)

becomes

This paper evaluates . . .

(agent) (action)

David Blakesley
Oval

David Blakesley
Oval

David Blakesley
Oval

David Blakesley
Oval

David Blakesley
Rectangle

David Blakesley
Rectangle

Paramedic Method 2

6) Keep the base clause near the beginning of the sentence, if possible.

7) Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases.

Your final product should look something like this:

This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag
(GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements. (26 words)

The paramedic method has helped us reduce our sentence to 26 words from 36, a 28 percent reduction.
That means that 28 percent of our original sentence was excess (Lanham calls it “lard content”). If you
apply the paramedic method to all of your sentences, your writing can’t help but be clearer and more
concise.

Sentences for practice:

1) As a means of providing scientists with appropriate tertiary data, the conference is intended to serve

as a communication medium for everyone involved in the manipulation and dissemination of research

findings.

2) The decision by the managers was that the committee for road improvement would cease its activity

for the duration of the term.

3) From the beginning, the writing of this research article was marked by reluctance.

The final two steps are generally done together as you re-draft the sentence.
Don’t be afraid to rewrite the clause a couple of times if your first revision
doesn’t sound quite right.