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Chapter 4 discussed some of the ways in which language usage and verbal communication differs from person to person.

Questions to Answer:

Contrast your use of language with that of someone else you know. Using at least two concepts about verbal messages from the chapter, what are the differences between your use of language and theirs?
Concepts from the chapter that can be used include, but are not limited to:

1) onymous vs. anonymous
2) assertiveness vs. nonassertiveness
3) disconfirmation vs. confirmation
4) sexist speech
5) polarization
6) static evaluation
7) any other concepts from the chapter you find relevant

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What challenges are presented when different verbal communication styles are used? How can those challenges be resolved?

Chapter Four:
Verbal Messages

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 Learn the nature and principles of verbal
messages

 Learn to use verbal messages more effectively
 Distinguish between confirming and

disconfirming language
 Learn to avoid sexism, heterosexism, racism,

ageism, and understand appropriate cultural
identifiers

Chapter Four Goals

Eight Principles of Verbal
Messages

1. Message meanings are in people

2. Messages are denotative and connotative

3. Messages vary in abstraction

4. Messages can deceive

5. Messages vary in politeness

6. Messages can be onymous or anonymous

7. Message vary in assertiveness.

8. Messages are influenced by culture/gender.

Messages Are in People

 To discover the meaning a person is trying to
communicate, you must look into the person
as well as the words

 As you change, you also change the
meanings of your past messages

Messages Are Denotative and
Connotative

 Denotative meanings are objective or
dictionary definitions

 Connotative meanings are more subjective
and emotional meanings

 Snarl and purr words (coined by semanticist
S.I. Hawakowa), highly positive or negative
terms are considered connotative

Messages Vary in Abstraction

 Abstractions are general concepts; they
conjure up many images in listener’s minds

 Less abstract words, which are more specific
and precise, are usually more effective in
getting your point across

Entertainment Film American Film Classic American films Casablanca

Messages May Deceive

 The act of sending messages with the
intention of giving another person information
you believe to be false

 There are different types of lies (pro-social,
self-enhancement, selfish-deception, and
antisocial deception)

 Liars tend to exhibit certain behaviors

Messages Vary in Politeness

 Direct messages are usually less polite than
indirect ones

 Indirect messages allow you to express a
desire without insulting or offending someone

 Politeness differs between genders
 Netiquette provides guidelines for politeness

in computer-mediated communication

Messages Can Be Onymous or
Anonymous

 Onymous messages have a clearly defined
author

 Anonymous messages are messages where
the author is not identified
– These messages allow people to express their

inner feelings more freely
– This might encourage some to go to extremes

Messages Vary in Assertiveness

 Assertiveness is the willingness to stand up
for your rights but with respect for the rights
of others
– Describe the problem
– State how the problem affects you
– Propose workable solutions
– Confirm understanding

Messages Are Influenced by Culture
and Gender

Culture
 Messages are culturally

influenced
 The principle of

cooperation
 The principle of

peaceful relations
 The principle of self-

denigration
 The principle of

directness

Gender
 Verbal messages

reflect considerable
gender influences

 Example:
disagreements

Disconfirmation and Confirmation

Disconfirmation
 A communication pattern

in which one ignores the
other person’s presence
and communication

 Rejection is not the same
things as disconfirmation;
you still accept the other
person’s significance

Confirmation
 A communication

pattern in which one
acknowledges the other
person’s presence and
attends to his/her
communication

Disconfirmation and Confirmation
cont…

Confirmation
 Acknowledge presence and

contribution of other
 Make nonverbal contact
 Demonstrate understanding

of words and feelings
 Ask questions
 Encourage the other person

to express thoughts and
feelings

Disconfirmation
 Ignore presence and

indifferent to messages
 Make no nonverbal contact
 Jump to interpret and

evaluate messages
 Talk about self
 Interrupt; make it hard for

other’s expression

Skill Development Experience

Carrie’s boyfriend of seven years left her
and married another woman. Carrie

confides this to Samantha.

What would she say if responding
 with disconfirmation?
 with rejection?
 with confirmation?

Racist Speech

 Puts down, minimalizes, and marginalizes a

group based on their race
 Often subtle or unintended
 Avoid derogatory terms for members of a race
 Avoid mentioning race when it is irrelevant
 Avoid attributing individual’s economic or

social problems to the his or her race

Heterosexist Speech

 Derogatory language used against gays or lesbians
 Avoid offensive parodies and nonverbal mannerisms
 Avoid “complimenting” gay men and lesbians that

they “don’t look it”
 Avoid assuming that every gay male or lesbian

knows what every other gay male or lesbian is
thinking

 Stay clear of making overattributions
 Remember and celebrate relationship milestones

Ageist and Sexist Speech

Ageist
 Prejudice against other

age groups
 General disrespect for

older people
 Age restrictions in

certain occupations

Sexist
 Generic “man”
 Generic “he” and “his”
 Sex role stereotyping

Cultural Identifiers

 Race and nationality
 Affectional orientation
 Age
 Sex

Principles for Using Verbal Messages
Effectively

 Avoid intensional orientation
 Avoid allness
 Distinguish between facts and

inferences
 Avoid indiscrimination
 Avoid polarization
 Avoid static evaluation

Extensionalize: Avoid Intensional
Orientation

 Intensional orientation – Viewing people,
objects, or events in the way they are talked
about or pre-labeled

 Extensional orientation – Look first at the
actual people, objects, or events and then
apply labels

See the Individual: Avoid Allness

 Allness thinking – Putting into “all” or “never”
categories

 Recognize that there is always more to learn
about something

Distinguish between Facts and Inferences:
Avoid Fact Inference Confusion

Discriminate Among:
Avoid Indiscrimination

 Indiscrimination: A form of stereotyping,
failing to distinguish between similar but
different people

 Solution: See the individual apart from the
group

Talk about the Middle:
Avoid Polarization

 Polarization: Tendency to see the world in
extremes, similar to the either-or fallacy

 Solution: Search for the middle ground

Update Messages:
Avoid Static Evaluation

 Static Evaluation: When you hold on to
judgments about people and ignore they’ve
changed

 Solution: Look at statements in context of
time

End Show

Chapter Four Goals

Eight Principles of Verbal Messages

Messages Are in People

Messages Are Denotative and Connotative

Messages Vary in Abstraction
Messages May Deceive
Messages Vary in Politeness

Messages Can Be Onymous or Anonymous

Messages Vary in Assertiveness

Messages Are Influenced by Culture and Gender

Disconfirmation and Confirmation

Disconfirmation and Confirmation cont…

Skill Development Experience
Racist Speech
Heterosexist Speech
Ageist and Sexist Speech
Cultural Identifiers

Principles for Using Verbal Messages Effectively
Extensionalize: Avoid Intensional Orientation

See the Individual: Avoid Allness

Distinguish between Facts and Inferences: Avoid Fact Inference Confusion
Discriminate Among: Avoid Indiscrimination
Talk about the Middle: Avoid Polarization
Update Messages: Avoid Static Evaluation

End Show

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