Assignment: Safe Zone Training
Assignment: Safe Zone Training
Supporting LGBTQ+ populations requires that you first understand the diversity within the community. Safe Zone trainings allow you to develop your knowledge and understanding of LGBTQ+ individuals. For this week’s assignment, you have an opportunity to participate in Safe Zone activities and reflect on your experience. You are asked to complete this assignment with a partner or small group of your choosing to have opportunity to dialogue with others, an essential component of Safe Zone trainings.
To prepare:
Option 1: Go to
and download most recent version of the Safe Zone training. Read the facilitator’s guide. With at least one other person (e.g., classmate, coworker, friend, family member), use the facilitator’s guide to complete the activities in the participant packet.
Option 2: If there is an organization that provides Safe Zone trainings for your community, you may attend an in-person or virtual training.
The Assignment
A 400-500-word reflection on your experience with this exercise, including what you learned and how it felt.
Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/.DS_Store
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Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Editable Documents/Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum – Facilitator Guide 5.0.gdoc
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__MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Editable Documents/._Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum – Facilitator Guide 5.0.gdoc
Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Editable Documents/Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum – Participant Packet 5.0.gdoc
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__MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Editable Documents/._Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum – Participant Packet 5.0.gdoc
__MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._Editable Documents
Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/How to Use
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Welcome to
AKA
USING THE SAFE
ZONE PROJECT
CURRICULUM
THE GUIDE
TO THE GUIDE
TO THE GUIDE
check-circle
check-circle
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Within this .ZIP Folder, you should find…
A Facilitator Guide
A Participant Packet
Print it, staple it, pass it out to your par-
ticipants, and you’re done.
A bunch of things you don’t “need”, but
might come in handy.
We created custom
“shortlinks” to make it easier
for you . Anywhere you see
“szp.guide/…” that’s a web-
site address.
Print your own stickers! Don’t
feel bad about it. Send the
files to a local print shop, or
DIY using sticker paper. We
won’t be sad.
Files for Stickers &
Other Stuff.
This explains how to lead every activi-
ty in the curriculum, and is chock-full of
tips, links, and information
All of our activities and
curricula are Google Docs
+ you have access to those files (the .gdoc files
in this folder, also on our site), to make editing
a breeze.
google-drive
WE ARE GOOGLE
DRIVE SUPERFANS
Even if you don’t have a Google Drive account,
you should be able to edit the files in your text
editor of choice (just no promises on it looking
pretty – and also why in the world do you not
have a Google Drive account?!)
You see that szp.guide/genderbread link?
Wanna try it? Click away, Adrenaline Jockey.
http://szp.guide/genderbread
http://szp.guide/genderbread
COPY DOCS
TO YOUR DRIVE
You can use these magic buttons
Or
Copy Facilitator Guide magic
Copy Participant Packet magic
mouse-pointer
mouse-pointer
mouse-pointer
1.
2.
3.
Click “File”
“Make a copy…”
Choose location &
click OK
Please don’t request “permission” to edit the origi-
nal document. You have to copy the file to your fold-
er. Sorry, but we can’t have 25,000 people editing a
document. Actually, that sounds like a really fun ex-
periment. We’ll get back to you.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uzv5-Ts4rTaeaulQZNO4pRUrK5s6ihU3loO_thS59e0/copy
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nsOYAk6vwPYqkwMsaU3KouYdnw32doZnXSJt1KeR580/copy
Unlocking the Magic of
Facilitation
11 Key Concepts You Didn’t Know You
Didn’t Know
magic
If you need help with facilitation…
WE WROTE A
BOOK ABOUT IT
We wrote this book after doing years of Safe Zone Train-
the-Trainer visits, helping folks get programs off the ground
(we don’t do those any more).These are the lessons we
wouldn’t always have time to cover, but wished we could.
http://facilitationmagic.com
THAT’S ALL FROM US.
YOU GOT THIS!
Now go get up to some
kind-hearted mischief.
Resourcesbox-heart Helphands-helpingAboutcheck-circle
<3 Meg & Sam http://thesafezoneproject.com/resources http://thesafezoneproject.com/help http://thesafezoneproject.com/about http://thesafezoneproject.com Next: Previous: Next 2: SZP Logo: Previous 1: Next 3: SZP Logo 1: Previous 4: Next 5: SZP Logo 3: Previous 2: Next 4: Previous 3: SZP Logo 2: __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._How to Use Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Icon __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._Icon Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum - Facilitator Guide 5.0 e Table of Contents About this Guide & Curriculum 3 Training Timelines 4 Training Set-Up 5 Guide to the Activity Guides 6 Introductions 7 Group Norms 9 First Impressions of LGBTQ 11 Core Vocabulary & Do/Don’t Handout 14 LGBTQ Umbrella & Genderbread Person 32 Privilege for Sale & Coming Out 41 Anonymous Q&A 47 Fearfully Asked Questions (FAQ) 49 Scenarios 51 Wrap-Up & Feedback 61 Resources 65 Curriculum 5.0 Edition Information 66 2 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ About this Guide We created this guide to help you facilitate Safe Zone trainings. It contains all of the activities, instructions, and resources you need to run an introductory LGBTQ/Ally training for your organization, campus, or community. We created this specifically for your use! Within this guide you will find: ✔ A detailed outline of each activity of the training; ✔ Participant sheets and handouts necessary to facilitate the activities; ✔ Recommended group norms for the training; ✔ Participant feedback form; and ✔ Self evaluation/reflection form. The key ingredient to a successful Safe Zone training is preparation. This guide should be read through, examined, and practiced before the day of the training. Please do not facilitate a training by reading this guide verbatim (other than where specified). Instead, we recommend using it as a support tool as you facilitate your training. We encourage co-facilitation! While there aren’t explicit instructions included, all of the activities can be co-facilitated smoothly with practice. If you’d like to know more about some of the tools and techniques we use when we facilitate this curriculum, check out our book Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation ( szp.guide/utmof ). About this Curriculum We wrote this curriculum based on over a decade of experience facilitating Safe Zone trainings, with hundreds of workshops, experiments, trials, errors, and feedback. It’s designed to be engaging, effective, and fun. The activities chosen (and omitted), the suggestions for how to facilitate them, and the order they’re in are all intentional. While you can certainly tweak, change, or totally overhaul this curriculum, we ask that you do so with care. And consider giving it a shot as is first — it might just work. This curriculum is flexible, and the training can be incredibly powerful for participants of all identities, ages, educational backgrounds, and attitudes. Facilitate the group you’re with : listen to them, respond to their needs, and every activity that follows can be made relevant. 3 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/utmof http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Training Timelines Whenever possible, we recommend at least 3 hours for a Safe Zone training . Following are two example timelines for for how you might run this curriculum. We know that most people can only do two hours, which is why we generally refer to this resource as a “2-Hour Curriculum,” and all the times in the activity headers within this guide reflect that. Make it your own This curriculum is yours to change, improve, customize, or tailor however you need — the timeline is no exception! In general, we’d suggest you don’t do shorter than 2 hours, and if you’re doing longer don’t add more activities: just give each activity more room to breathe. If you’d like more suggestions, visit szp.guide/timelines . Unlock the Magic Transitions (segues) between activities are a crucial part of the activity introduction, and can help move a group forward if they are stuck (or want to keep spending time) on a particular activity. Plan your segues beforehand, with a particular phrase/concept/idea that you can pull from the group at the end of one activity, that leads seamlessly into the next. For example, the last question in “First Impressions” is about change over time; vocab is something that is always changing over time; connecting these ideas can be your segue. 4 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/timelines http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Training Set-Up When we say “Safe Zone,” a big part of what we’re talking about is the training to be a learning environment, a space where participants can take risks, be vulnerable, and learn — all in the face of of stigmatizing social pressures. The hope is that later, after being trained, participants can then create a similar environment for others in their life. The physical set-up of the room is a huge part of that. Try to get to the training room 30 - 45 minutes early to get everything set up, with some extra time in case there are early participants who need your attention, or an unexpected hiccup (e.g., a locked door, not enough seats). The ideal room: ✔ Has moveable seats/desks/tables; ✔ Is big enough to accommodate all the participants in a circle or u-shape, with the facilitator(s) at the top (like an umlaut: ü) ✔ But not too much bigger than that (it gets hard to create a cohesive group or “safe” container) Process Steps 1. Place a printed Participant Packet at each seat you want a participant to use 2. Distribute extra pens and blank index cards in little piles that are reachable by everyone 3. Write an intro message (and introduction steps) on the whiteboard / flipchart. Include your name, pronouns, and contact information if you want your participants to be able to follow up with you after (otherwise leave out contact info) 4. Prepare any other flipcharts (e.g., the Genderbread diagram) you’ll be using Make it your own This curriculum doesn’t require powerpoint/projector/screen, and it’s intentionally low-tech. However, if you prefer to use A/V (e.g., to play an video during your intro or closing, for FAQ, or for some other reason), by all means set that up. If you’d like more suggestions, visit szp.guide/setup . Notes A good room can make a training. A bad room can break it. We know that you won’t always have control of the room you’re training in, and sometimes you’ll have to make due with something that’s not ideal. Do what you can to find a room that works, or to rearrange your room until it does. 5 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/setup http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Guide to Activity Guides How we organize each activity, and what the different headings mean. The terms below the title are what we use at TheSafeZoneProject.com to sort activities ( szp.guide/activities ), in case you want to replace an activity with something similar. Title Activity Type – Knowledge Level – Trust Needed – Time – Activity URL Materials What supplies are required. Setup What setup do you need to do prior to beginning the activity. Facilitator Framing Purpose of the activity and important things for you to know in order to understand the activity. Goals & Learning Outcomes What you can reasonably hope to accomplish during the activity if facilitated well. Process Steps The piece-by-piece walkthrough to facilitate the activity (including example talking points). Debrief Questions Suggested questions (and in some cases sample answers) to make meaning from the activity. Wrap-up How to purposefully close the activity. Make it your own Ideas for modifying the activity. Unlock the Magic Facilitator tools and tips for making the most out of the activity. Notes Additional information to know or things to look out for in regards to this specific activity. 6 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://thesafezoneproject.com/ https://szp.guide/activities https://szp.guide/activities http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Introductions Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/intros Materials ● Whiteboard or sticky flip chart paper Setup ● Write out what you are asking your participants to share so everyone can read it Facilitator Framing ● Introductions can be used to create buy-in from participants, get to know who is in the room, set the pace/energy for the workshop, etc. Be sure to use your intro time purposefully to accomplish the outcomes needed to create a productive learning space. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● For you to know your participant’s names and pronouns. ● Participants will know your name, pronouns, and other relevant information about your role as a facilitator. ● Participants will understand the general flow of the training. ● Participants will understand overall goals for the training. Process Steps 1. Introduce yourself and share a short bio about yourself and relevant info to your role facilitating the training. 2. Share the general flow of the training. This maybe longer or provide more context if the group isn’t knowledgeable about what the training is about and/or was required to attend. For example, “This training is going to take approximately two hours. We are going to be working through together a number of activities in order to gain a better understand LGBTQ identities and experiences. These activities are going to be reflective, small group, and sometimes large group discussions. We’ll take a break in the middle of the workshop so you can use the bathroom, send a quick text, etc.” 3. Tell the group you’ll be having them introduce themselves sharing the information you’ve written up on the board/flipchart (e.g., “1. Name, 2. Pronouns, 3. Role/Position/Job, 4. One Thing to Learn Today”). 4. Role model the steps you’re asking them to complete. For example, “Hello! My name is Fred, my pronouns are he/him/his, my role here is that I’m your facilitator, and one thing I want to learn is how I can best help you connect with LGBTQ identities and experiences.” 7 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/intros http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 5. Start with a participant on your left or right, and go around the circle allowing everyone a chance to share. Make it your own The process detailed above of how to do introductions is very simple and effective, feel free to get creative with intros by playing games or asking interesting questions of your participants. Unlock the Magic While participants are doing their introductions, draw a map of the seating arrangements in the room, then write down participants name and pronouns (you can use a symbol/shorthand) on your map. This will allow you to call on participants by name during the next activity, and learn their names more quickly in general. Notes While we ask people to include pronouns in introductions, we do not encourage facilitators to force anyone to share their pronouns. If a participant doesn’t include their pronouns in their introduction this maybe an intentional choice, and we suggest you call them by name for the duration of the training. Introductions are something that can easily eat up a lot of time in your training. We recommend spending no more than 10 minutes on introductions in a two or three hour training. If you are doing a condensed Safe Zone we recommend doing even shorter intros, possibly just asking participants to share their name and pronouns. 8 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Group Norms Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 5 Mins – szp.guide/groupnorms Materials ● Group norms participant sheet Setup ● N/A Facilitator Framing ● This activity allows you to set norms and intention for the space. Some educators do group generated ground rules or full-value contract, however we have found this facilitation method to be the most time efficient and effective way to facilitate group norms and set the tone of a productive learning environment. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● Participants will understand and express personal investment in the group norms for the training. ● Participants will connect with why these group norms are important for the dynamic of the training. Process Steps 1. Frame the activity. For example, “Before we get any further into the curriculum, we are going to take a moment to talk about group norms. The page of group norms is not our expectations of you, but things participants tend to ask for from one another. We’d like to hear from you if any of these strike a chord.” 2. Read the first group norm “Be smarter than your phone.” Ask participants if this is important to anyone. Follow up with anyone who says it is important and ask them to share with the group why it is important to them. After they’ve shared, move onto the next one on the list and continue this way until all group norms are covered. 3. Share any additional context that you would like to as a facilitator for why these group norms are important the type of environment that you want to create in the training. Wrap-up If there is anything additional that you as a facilitator want to say specifically for this group you’re working with, this is the best time to do so. 9 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/groupnorms http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Group Norms 1. Be Smarter than Your Phone No matter how good you are at multitasking, we ask you to put away your phone, resist from texting and all that jazz. We will take a break and you can send a quick text, snap, tweet, insta, etc. at that point. If you are expecting a phone call you cannot miss we will not judge! 2. Questions, Questions, Questions Please feel free to ask questions at any time throughout this training. Unless someone is mid-sentence, it is always an appropriate time to ask questions. Even if it isn’t relevant to the topic, throw it out there – get it off your mind and on to ours. 3. Vegas Rule Slightly modified! So during the training someone may share something really personal, may ask a question, may say something that they wouldn’t want attached to their name outside this space. So remember that what is said here stays here and what is learned here leaves here. You’re welcome to share anything that we say in this space with others and attach it to our name but we respectfully request that you take away the message from others’ shares and not their names. 4. LOL We really appreciate it if, at some point, y’all could laugh! This training is going to be fun, and we’ll do our best to keep it upbeat, so just know… it’s ok to laugh! Laughter indicates that you’re awake, that you’re paying attention, and that we haven’t killed your soul. So yeah… go ahead and do that! 5. Share the Airtime If you are someone who participates often and is really comfortable talking – awesome! Do it. Also we ask that you try to remain aware of your participation and after you’ve shared a few times to leave space for other people to also put their ideas out there. If you usually wait to share… jump in! 6. Reserve the Right to Change Your Mind If you say something and then later disagree with yourself, that is a-okay! This is a safe space to say something and then later feel differently and change your mind. We even encourage it. As a wise Safe Zone participant once said, “Stop, rewind, I changed my mind.” 10 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ First Impressions of LGBTQ People Reflective – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/firstimpressions Materials ● Participant sheet Setup ● N/A Facilitator Framing ● This activity helps participants ease into thinking about LGBTQ identity, people, and experiences from their own perspective. ● The activity can be effective at contextualizing the importance of the workshop or talking openly about these issues (and how often rare that open conversation can be). Goals & Learning Outcomes ● Participants will reflect upon their first impressions with LGBTQ people and identity. ● Participants will reflect on how their understanding of LGBTQ people and identity has changed over their lifetime. ● Participants will have an opportunity to hear how diverse the group’s experience with LGBTQ people and identity are. Process Steps 1. Provide directions for the activity and assure participants that this activity primarily reflective and they won’t be asked to share anything they don’t want to. For example, “We are going to start with a reflective activity called First Impressions. We’re going to give you a few minutes to think on and write some answers to the list of questions on this sheet. These questions are for your reflection, we aren’t going to collect your sheets or require you to share anything with the group that you don’t want to. If there is any question you’re struggling with skip it and come back at the end of the activity. We’ll give you a few minutes here to answer the questions and then bring it back to the big group.” 2. Give participants time to reflect (3-5 minutes). 3. Move into the debrief questions. 4. Wrap-up the activity. Debrief questions 11 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/firstimpressions http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ ● What was it like to do that activity? ● Does anyone have something that came up for them while they were answering the questions that they would like to share? ● Does anyone have an experience that was significantly different that they’d be interested in sharing? ● What about question 5, would anyone share how their understanding of these issues have changed over time? Wrap-up Highlight for participants that each of them have likely have shifted their understanding of LGBTQ people and identities over the course of their lifetimes and that this workshop may or may not also shift their understanding of LGBTQ people and identities. Often there is a mention of language or vocabulary that has shifted over the course of someone’s exposure to the LGBTQ community and you can call back to this mention in order to create a seamless transition into vocabulary. Make it your own These questions can be modified to focus more specifically on particular identities if you are doing a targeted training for example, “What was your first impression or initial conversations around LGBTQ identity within a medical environment?”. They can also be modified in a way to focus on a particular subpopulation of the LGBTQ community, “What was your first impression of bisexual people?” or, “What is something that you are still unlearning about transgender identity?” Unlock the Magic Be an imperfect role model: this is an activity can be a space where you can share with participants your own development and journey. This can help assure participants that you identify with their stories or change and development and that they aren’t alone in having unlearn and reconsider what they know about gender and sexuality. Notes While this is a low risk activity, participants sharing about their past (or present) views can expose a lot of prejudice. While some prejudice being named isn’t inherently a bad thing, too much is unproductive to the learning outcomes. Try to invite shares from participants from a variety of views and perspectives. Keeping the debrief on the shorter side and moving through the questions quickly does not negatively impact the goals and will help you manage the feelings that may come up for folks. 12 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ First Impressions of LGBTQ People Answer the following questions to the best of your ability: 1. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer? 2. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 3. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are transgender? 4. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of transgender people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 5. How have your impressions/understanding of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) people changed or evolved throughout your life? 13 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Core Vocabulary & Do/Don’t Handout Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 20 mins – szp.guide/corevocab Materials ● Core list participant handout ● Do’s/Don’ts handout ● Pens/pencils for participants Setup ● On a flipchart or whiteboard, draw a star (or asterisk) with “new word” next to it and check mark with “check in” next to it Facilitator Framing ● The goal of vocabulary isn’t to read definitions for every word, but to allow your participants to highlight the words that they are most interested in and to clarify those words. ● The length of clarification, or of additional information you provide on any word (which is not required), will impact the amount of words that participants are able to/will ask about. Longer answers = fewer words covered. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● Participants will be able to clarify questions that they have about foundational LGBTQ vocabulary. ● Participants will be on the same page about common terminology that will be used throughout the rest of the training. ● Participants will have a clearer understanding of the importance of language in relation to creating affirming environments LGBTQ individuals. Process Steps 1. Frame the activity. For example, “We are going to be diving into vocabulary. Having a common understanding of these terms is important as many of them are going to be used throughout the workshop. Also vocabulary is often the subject where folks have the most questions or misconceptions and we want to make sure to let y’all ask any questions you may have regarding language.” 2. Give participants 1 minute to read through terms, specifying that they only read the boldface terms, not the definitions . Tell them to put a star next to new words, and a checkmark next to any word they have a question about or want to “check in on.” 3. Once participants have looked through all the terms, begin with the starred terms on the first page. Ask participants, “What is a term you have starred on the first page?” When someone names a term, ask that participant if they would read the definition aloud to the group. After 14 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/corevocab http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ reading the definition, check in to make sure the definition is understood. (If you want, you can open it up for any additional questions.) 4. Add tidbits or examples of your own to help contextualize the definitions. (One of our favorite is to highlight why the part of speech is important — see Notes section for why.) 5. Start with the next starred term on that page and repeat. 6. Advise participants that on the resource page they will find a link to a longer list of terms for them to explore on their own. Do/Don’t Handout This handout is a handy reference guide for your participants. These are words and phrases that are often well-intentioned, but cause harm or aren’t received the way the speaker often means for them to be. You can simply mention it at the end of the vocab for participants to read later and move on, or you can spend 5 minutes working through the handout. If you spend some time working through the handout, we recommend the following steps: 1. Ask your participants to read down the “avoid saying” column. Ask them what questions they have about those phrases or words. 2. Any questions that come up read the “say instead” and the example. Offer any further clarification you’d like to add. 3. Repeat down the list. 4. Move into wrap-up. Wrap-up While you are wrapping up vocabulary, let folks know that terminology is going to continue to come up throughout the workshop. Participants should feel free to ask/inquire about terms they don’t know/understand that any point. Unlock the Magic Role model imperfection! If you struggled with a term or concept, share that with your group. Notes Participants only receive the “Core Vocab” pages and the “Do’s and Don’ts” handout. The “Comprehensive list” is simply for you (the facilitator’s) reference. Vocabulary can go for much longer than 20 minutes. It is important to clarify with your co-facilitator (or just prepare yourself) how you are going to decide the amount of time that is appropriate for vocabulary in relation to your training (i.e., are you going to let it go long if there’s a ton of questions/pressure, or are you cutting it at 20 minutes no matter what?). 15 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ If the same person keeps volunteering starred/checked terms, ask other participants to read the definitions (don’t require one person to read all the definitions). Similarly, if someone volunteers a word, but doesn’t feel comfortable reading the definition, ask for another volunteer. Parts of speech matter . Using the correct part of speech for certain words is crucial. Some words are not affirming when they are used as nouns (queer, gay, transgender). As a general rule, when in doubt, adjectives are always safer . They add on an aspect of someone’s identity rather than reducing them to a single identity. For example, it feels different when you say, “Meg is a blonde,” vs. “Meg is blonde.” With identity terminology, no definition is absolute, or applicable to 100% of people who use that term to describe themselves. We like to say that we embrace the 51/100 rule , meaning that if we can write a definition for a term that 51 out of 100 people who use that label personally would agree with, we’re nailing it. With this in mind, know that 49/100 people might disagree — slightly, or severely — with any definition your provide. That’s okay! Someone can use a word to mean something different from the definition here, and you can provide a definition as an “in other cases” context. These definitions and terms change (sometimes quite rapidly), so don’t be alarmed if you haven’t seen a term before or have heard a different definition. Answers to Common Vocab Questions and Helpful Tidbits Following are little nuggets of info for some of the terms in the Core List: asexual: ● Another term used within the asexual community is “ace,” meaning someone who is asexual. Or “aro” for someone who is aromantic. ● Asexuality is different from celibacy in that it is a sexual orientation whereas celibacy is an abstaining from a certain action. ● Not all asexual people are aromantic. biological sex: ● Often seen as a binary, but there are many combinations of chromosomes, hormones, and primary/secondary sex characteristics that one might embody, so it’s often more accurate and helpful to view this as a spectrum. ● Is commonly conflated with gender. biphobia: ● Example of bi-invisibility and bi-erasure would be the assumption that any man in a relationship with a woman is straight or anyone dating someone of the same gender means they are gay. In neither case do we assume anyone could be bisexual. 16 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ ● Important to recognize that many of our “stereotypes” of bisexual people - they’re overly sexual, greedy, it’s just a phase - have harmful and stigmatizing effects (and that it is not only straight people but also many queer individuals harbor these beliefs too). bisexual: ● Can simply be shortened to “bi.” ● Many people who recognize the limitations of a binary understanding of gender may still use the word bisexual as their sexual orientation label (even if their attractions aren’t limited to “men and women”) instead of pansexual. This is often because more people are familiar with the term “bisexual,” whereas for a lot of people “pansexual” is new or unknown. cisgender: ● “Cis” is a latin prefix that means “on the same side [as]” or "on this side [of].” coming out: ● A popular misconception is this happens once. Coming out is, however, a continuous, lifelong process. Everyday, all the time, one has to evaluate and reevaluate who they are comfortable coming out to, if it is safe, and what the consequences might be. gay : ● “Gay” is a word that’s had many different meanings throughout time. In the 12th century is meant “happy,” in the 17th century it was more commonly used to mean “immoral” (describing a loose and pleasure-seeking person), and by the 19th it meant a female prostitute (and a “gay man” was a guy who had sex with female prostitutes a lot). It wasn’t until the 20th century that it started to mean what it means today. Interesting, right? genderqueer: ● The “queer” aspect of “genderqueer” is the reclaimed, affirmative, empowering usage of “queer.” This is not a slur or derogatory term. ● As an umbrella term, “genderqueer” shows up in a lot of different ways, many of which have their own label. For example, genderqueer might be ( 2.a ) combined aspects of man and woman and other identities (bigender, pangender); ( 2.b ) not having a gender or identifying with a gender (genderless, agender); ( 2.c ) moving between genders (genderfluid); ( 2.d ) third gender or other-gendered homophobia: ● The term can be extended to bisexual and transgender people as well; however, the terms biphobia and transphobia are used to emphasize the specific biases against individuals of bisexual and transgender communities. ● May be experienced inwardly by someone who identifies as queer (internalized homophobia). 17 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ homosexual: ● Until 1973 “Homosexuality” was classified as a mental disorder in the DSM Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This is just one of the reasons that there are such heavy negative and clinical connotations with this term. ● There are different connotations to the word homosexual than there are to gay/lesbian individuals for both straight and queer people. There was a study done prior to the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell about peoples’ feelings towards open queer service members. When asked, “How do you feel about open gay and lesbian service members,” there was about 65% support (at the time).” When the question was changed to, “How do you feel about open homosexual service members,” the same demographic of people being asked support drops ~20%. intersex: ● Often seen as a problematic condition when babies or young children are identified as intersex, it was for a long term considered an “emergency” and something that doctors moved to “fix” right away in a newborn child. There has been increasing advocacy and awareness brought to this issue and many individuals advocate that intersex individuals should be allowed to remain intersex past infancy and to not treat the condition as an issue or medical emergency. lesbian: ● The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos and as such is sometimes considered a Eurocentric category that does not necessarily represent the identities of Black women and other non-European ethnic groups. ● While many women use the term lesbian, many women also will describe themselves as gay, this is a personal choice. Many prefer the term gay because it is most often used as an adjective. LGBTQ; GSM; DSG: ● There is no “correct” initialism or acronym — what is preferred varies by person, region, and often evolves over time. ● The efforts to represent more and more identities led to some folks describe the ever-lengthening initialism as “Alphabet Soup,” which was part of the impetus for GSM and DSG. passing: ● Passing is a controversial term because it often is focusing on the person who is observing or interacting with the individual who is “passing” and puts the power/authority in observer rather than giving agency to the individual. 18 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ ● Some people are looking to “pass” or perhaps more accurately be accepted for the identity that they feel most aligns with who they are. However, “passing” is not always a positive experience. ● Some individuals experience feeling of being invisible to or a loss of their own community when they are perceived to be part of the dominant group. ● The term “passing” comes from conversations about race (a person of color “passing” as white) queer: ● If a person tells you they are not comfortable with you referring to them as queer, don’t. Always respect individual’s preferences when it comes to identity labels, particularly ones with troubled histories like this. ● People often wonder, “Is queer an ingroup term? Can straight people use it?” Our recommendation is that folks of any identity can use the word queer as long as they are comfortable explaining to others what it means, and why they use it. Because some people feel uncomfortable with the word, it is best to be comfortable explaining your usage. transgender: ● Trans with an asterisk (“trans*) is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you are referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary identities, as well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (transwomen). ● Trans people can be straight, gay, bisexual, queer, or any other sexual orientation. Remember: this is a gender label, not a sexuality label. ● Because sexuality labels (e.g., gay, straight, bi) are generally based on the relationship between the person's gender and the genders they are attracted to, trans* sexuality can be defined in a couple of ways. Some people may choose to identify as straight, gay, bi, lesbian, or pansexual (or other labels — using their gender identity as the basis). Some people describe their sexuality using other-focused terms like gynesexual, androsexual, or skoliosexual (see full list for definitions for these terms.) 19 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ CORE TERMS ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect. asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.” biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.” biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. biphobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward bisexual people. bisexual – 1 noun & adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some men and women. 2 adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders an individual may be attracted to. Often used interchangeably with “pansexual”. cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and gender identity correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and identifies as a man). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.” coming out – 1 noun : the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 verb : the process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others. gay – 1 adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 adj. : an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who is not straight. gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” 20 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be. Often conflated with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. genderqueer – 1 adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight. homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. homophobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward LGBTQ people. homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay or lesbian instead). intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. lesbian – noun & adj. : women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to other women. LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbr. : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or Genderqueer]). pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” passing – 1 adj. & verb : trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 adj. : an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight. 21 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ queer – 1 adj. : an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender. 2 noun : a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not embraced or used by all LGBTQ people. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”). questioning – verb, adj. : an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity. romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantically intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in sexually intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to some people who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. transgender – 1 adj. : a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) from living as one gender to another. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth and gender identity do not correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, but does not identify as a man). transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. 22 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Comprehensive* List of LGBTQ+ Related Vocabulary Definitions * This list is neither comprehensive nor inviolable, but a continual work in progress. With identity terms, trust the person who is using the term and their definition of it above any dictionary. advocate – 1 noun : a person who actively works to end intolerance, educate others, and support social equity for a marginalized group. 2 verb : to actively support or plea in favor of a particular cause, the action of working to end intolerance or educate others. agender – adj. : a person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves as existing without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois, gender neutral, or genderless. ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect. androgyny /“an-jrah-jun-ee”/ (androgynous) – 1 noun. : a gender expression that has elements of both masculinity and femininity; 2 adj. : occasionally used in place of “intersex” to describe a person with both female and male anatomy, generally in the form “androgyne." androsexual / androphilic – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to men, males, and/or masculinity. aromantic /”ay-ro-man-tic”/ – adj. : experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demiromantic). Sometimes abbreviated to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”). asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.” bicurious – adj. : a curiosity toward experiencing attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning). bigender – adj. : a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (or sometimes identifying with either man or woman, as well as a third, different gender). binder - noun : an undergarment used to alter or reduce the appearance of one’s breasts (worn similarly to how one wears a sports bra). binding - adj. : the (sometimes daily) process of wearing a 23 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ binder. Binding is often used to change the way other’s read/perceive one’s anatomical sex characteristics, and/or as a form of gender expression. biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.” biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. biphobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward bisexual people. bisexual – 1 noun & adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some men and women. 2 adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders an individual may be attracted to. Often used interchangeably with “pansexual”. butch – noun & adj. : a person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally, or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but is also be claimed as an affirmative identity label. cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and gender identity correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and identifies as a man). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.” cisnormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and in institutions, that everyone is cisgender, and that cisgender identities are superior to trans* identities and people. Leads to invisibility of non-cisgender identities. cissexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to cisgender people, reinforces the idea that being cisgender is somehow better or more “right” than being transgender, and/or makes other genders invisible. closeted – adj. : an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one’s safety, peer or family rejection, or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being “in the closet.” When someone chooses to break this silence they “come out” of the closet. (See coming out) coming out – 1 noun : the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 verb : the process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others. constellation – noun : a way to describe the arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship. 24 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ cross-dresser – noun : someone who wears clothes of another gender/sex. demiromantic – adj. : little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual connection is formed with someone, often within a sexual relationship. demisexual – adj. : little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic connection is formed with someone, often within a romantic relationship. down low – adj. : typically referring to men who identify as straight but who secretly have sex with men. Down low (or DL) originated in, and is most commonly used by, communities of color. drag king – noun : someone who performs (hyper-) masculinity theatrically. drag queen – noun : someone who performs (hyper-) femininity theatrically. dyke – noun : referring to a masculine presenting lesbian. While often used derogatorily, it is also reclaimed affirmatively by some lesbians and gay women as a positive self identity term. emotional attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in emotionally intimate behavior (e.g., sharing, confiding, trusting, inter-depending), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. fag(got) – noun : derogatory term referring to a gay person, or someone perceived as queer. While often used derogatorily, it is also used reclaimed by some gay people (often gay men) as a positive in-group term. feminine-of-center; masculine-of-center – adj. : a phrase that indicates a range in terms of gender identity and expression for people who present, understand themselves, and/or relate to others in a generally more feminine/masculine way, but don’t necessarily identify as women or men. Feminine-of-center individuals may also identify as “femme,” “submissive,” “transfeminine,” etc.; masculine-of-center individuals may also often identify as “butch,” “stud,” “aggressive,” “boi,” “transmasculine,” etc. feminine-presenting; masculine-presenting – adj. : a way to describe someone who expresses gender in a more feminine/masculine way. Often confused with feminine-of-center/masculine-of-center, which generally include a focus on identity as well as expression. femme – noun & adj. : someone who identifies themselves as feminine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. Often used to refer to a feminine-presenting queer woman or people. fluid(ity) – adj. : generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight). 25 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ FtM / F2M; MtF / M2F – abbr. : female-to-male transgender or transsexual person; male-to-female transgender or transsexual person. gay – 1 adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 adj. : an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who is not straight. gender binary – noun : the idea that there are only two genders and that every person is one of those two. gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” gender fluid – adj. : a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more man some days, and more woman other days. gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be. Often conflated with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. gender neutrois – adj. : see agender. gender non-conforming – 1 adj. : a gender expression descriptor that indicates a non-traditional gender presentation (masculine woman or feminine man). 2 adj. : a gender identity label that indicates a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Often abbreviated as “GNC.” gender normative / gender straight – adj. : someone whose gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, aligns with society’s gender-based expectations. genderqueer – 1 adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). gender variant – adj. : someone who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, genderqueer, cross-dresser, etc) . gynesexual / gynephilic /“guy-nuh-seks-shu-uhl”/ – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to woman, females, and/or femininity . hermaphrodite – noun : an outdated medical term previously used to refer to someone who was born with some combination of typically-male and typically-female sex characteristics. It’s considered stigmatizing and inaccurate. See intersex. 26 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight. heterosexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to heterosexual people, reinforces the idea that heterosexuality is somehow better or more “right” than queerness, and/or makes other sexualities invisible. heterosexual/straight – adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of a different gender. homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. homophobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward LGBTQ people. homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay or lesbian instead). intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. lesbian – noun & adj. : women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to other women. LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbr. : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or Genderqueer]). lipstick lesbian – noun : Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is assumed to be (or passes for) straight. metrosexual – adj. : a man with a strong aesthetic sense who spends more time, energy, or money on his appearance and grooming than is considered gender normative. 27 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ MSM / WSW – abbr. : men who have sex with men or women who have sex with women, to distinguish sexual behaviors from sexual identities: because a man is straight, it doesn’t mean he’s not having sex with men . Often used in the field of HIV/Aids education, prevention, and treatment. Mx. / “mix” or “schwa” / - noun : an honorific (e.g. Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.) that is gender neutral. It is often the option of choice for folks who do not identify within the gender binary: Mx. Smith is a great teacher. outing – verb : involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status. pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” passing – 1 adj. & verb : trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 adj. : an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight. PGPs – abbr. : preferred gender pronouns. Often used during introductions, becoming more common as a standard practice. Many suggest removing the “preferred,” because it indicates flexibility and/or the power for the speaker to decide which pronouns to use for someone else. polyamory (polyamorous) – noun : refers to the practice of, desire for, or orientation toward having ethical, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners). Often shortened to “poly.” queer – 1 adj. : an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender. 2 noun : a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not embraced or used by all LGBTQ people. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”). questioning – verb, adj. : an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity. QPOC / QTPOC – abbr. : initialisms that stand for queer people of color and queer and/or trans people of color. romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. same gender loving (SGL) – adj. : sometimes used by some members of the African-American or Black community to express an non-straight sexual orientation without relying on terms and symbols of European descent. 28 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ sex assigned at birth (SAAB) – abbr. : a phrase used to intentionally recognize a person’s assigned sex (not gender identity). Sometimes called “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively assigned at birth” (SCAB), or specifically used as “assigned male at birth” (AMAB) or “assigned female at birth” (AFAB): Jenny was assigned male at birth, but identifies as a woman. sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in physically intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. sexual preference – noun : the types of sexual intercourse, stimulation, and gratification one likes to receive and participate in. Generally when this term is used, it is being mistakenly interchanged with “sexual orientation,” creating an illusion that one has a choice (or “preference”) in who they are attracted to. sex reassignment surgery (SRS) – noun : used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by many to be a more affirming term. In most cases, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender variance. Some refer to different surgical procedures as “top” surgery and “bottom” surgery to discuss what type of surgery they are having without having to be more explicit. skoliosexual – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some genderqueer, transgender, transsexual, and/or non-binary people. spiritual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in intimate behavior based on one’s experience with, interpretation of, or belief in the supernatural (e.g., religious teachings, messages from a deity), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or emotional attraction. stealth – adj. : a trans person who is not “out” as trans, and is perceived/known by others as cisgender. straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to some people who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. stud – noun : most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian/queer woman. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’. third gender – noun : for a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but identifies with another gender. This gender category is used by societies that recognise three or more genders, both contemporary and historic, and is also a conceptual term meaning different things to different people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary. 29 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ top surgery – noun : this term refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest or breast augmentation for a female-type chest. trans* – adj. : an umbrella term covering a range of identities that transgress socially-defined gender norms. Trans with an asterisk is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you are referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary identities, as well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (transwomen). transgender – 1 adj. : a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) from living as one gender to another. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth and gender identity do not correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, but does not identify as a man). transition / transitioning – noun, verb : referring to the process of a transgender person changing aspects of themself (e.g., their appearance, name, pronouns, or making physical changes to their body) to be more congruent with the gender they know themself to be (as opposed to the gender they lived as pre-transitioning). transman; transwoman – noun : An identity label sometimes adopted by female-to-male transgender people or transsexuals to signify that they are men while still affirming their history as assigned female sex at birth. (sometimes referred to as transguy) 2 Identity label sometimes adopted by male-to-female transsexuals or transgender people to signify that they are women while still affirming their history as assigned male sex at birth. transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. transsexual – noun and adj. a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex. transvestite – noun : a person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression (“cross-dresses”) for any one of many reasons, including relaxation, fun, and sexual gratification (often called a “cross-dresser,” and should not be confused with transsexual). two-spirit – noun : is an umbrella term traditionally within Native American communities to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders. ze / zir / “zee”, “zerr” or “zeer”/ – alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some trans* people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively. Alternatively some people who are not comfortable/do not embrace he/she use the plural pronoun “they/their” as a gender neutral singular pronoun. 30 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ LGBTQ-INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE DOs and DON’Ts AVOID SAYING... SAY INSTEAD... WHY? EXAMPLE "Hermaphrodite" "Intersex" Hermaphrodite is a stigmatizing, inaccurate word with a negative medical history. "What are the best practices for the medical care of intersex infants?" "Homosexual" "Gay" "Homosexual" often connotes a medical diagnosis, or a discomfort with gay/lesbian people. "We want to do a better job of being inclusive of our gay employees." "Born female" or "Born male" "Assigned female/male at birth" "Assigned" language accurately depicts the situation of what happens at birth "Max was assigned female at birth, then he transitioned in high school." "Female-bodied" or "Male-bodied" "-bodied" language is often interpreted as as pressure to medically transition, or invalidation of one's gender identity "A gay" or "a transgender" "A gay/transgender person" Gay and transgender are adjectives that describe a person/group "We had a transgender athlete in our league this year. " "Transgender people and normal people" "Transgender people and cisgender people" Saying "normal" implies "abnormal," which is a stigmatizing way to refer to a person. "This group is open to both transgender and cisgender people." "Both genders" or "Opposite sexes" "All genders" "Both" implies there are only two; "Opposite" reinforces antagonism amongst genders "Video games aren't just a boy thing -- kids of all genders play them." "Ladies and gentlemen" "Everyone," "Folks," "Honored guests," etc Moving away from binary language is more inclusive of people of all genders "Good morning everyone, next stop Picadilly Station." "Mailman," "fireman," "policeman," etc. "Mail clerk," "Firefighter," "Police officer," etc. People of all genders do these jobs "I actually saw a firefighter rescue a cat from a tree." "It" when referring to someone (e.g., when pronouns are unknown) "They" "It" is for referring to things, not people. "You know, I am not sure how they identify." 31 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ LGBTQ Umbrella Lecture – 101 – Low Trust – 2 mins – szp.guide/umbrella Materials ● Facilitator guide and participant handouts Setup ● N/A Facilitator Framing ● This is the most lecture-heavy part of Safe Zone curriculum. If you are going to use the sample lectures give it a read a few times before doing it so that you can know the flow and general sense of it before facilitating. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● Participants will be able to understand that there is a difference between gender and sexuality. ● Participants will be able to identify the difference between the L, G, B, Q, and the T of LGBTQ. Process Steps 1. Frame the activity. For example, “We are going to move now from talking about vocab to talking about some frameworks and ways to make sense of a lot of that vocabulary. First we are going to start with the LGBTQ umbrella handout. This handout helps us make some sense of the LGBTQ acronym.” 2. Quickly explain the letters, the idea of the queer umbrella, and the distinction between sexualities and genders. You can do this by reading the handout aloud, or using the example lecture below. 3. Wrap-up the activity. LGBTQ Umbrella Example Lecture If you could all turn to the page with the umbrella image on it, we want to explain what the LGBTQ letters represent, how they refer to different identities, and why we often use the phrase “umbrella term.” When we discuss “LGBTQ” people, one thing we generally forget to make clear what, exactly, those letters mean. For example, there is no such thing as an “LGBTQ” person. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer are all different labels, representing different identities. Importantly, they are words that relate to folks’ experiences of gender and sexual identities -- two things we often confuse for being one and the same. LGB all represent sexual identities. And the T represents a gender identity. And the Q — sometimes referring to “Questioning,” but generally meaning “Queer” — is often used as an umbrella term, in an affirming and positive way, to lump all marginalized sexualities and genders together. 32 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/umbrella http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ We’d like to draw your attention to the umbrella handle itself, because while these identities are all often grouped together, we’re talking about distinctly different aspects of our humanity and experience: sexuality and gender. When we say sexual identities, sexualities, or sexual orientations, we are talking about are the ways we categorize and define who we are attracted to. When we “gender identities” we are talking about the ways we categorize and define our genders. So, to recap: on one side we have queer sexualities (Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual, to name a few), and on the other we have queer genders (Transgender, to name one), and we often group all of these under the umbrella term of “queer.” 33 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ LGBTQ Umbrella Handout 34 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Genderbread Person Lecture + Guided Discussion – 101 – Low Trust – 13 mins – szp.guide/genderbread Materials ● Whiteboard or easel/paper and markers ● Facilitator guide and participant handouts ● Pens/pencils Setup ● (suggested) Draw the Genderbread Person on the whiteboard or flipchart paper and have the continuums with the blanks drawn as well. Facilitator Framing ● This is the most lecture-heavy part of Safe Zone curriculum. If you are going to use the sample lecture give it a read a few times before doing it so that you can know the flow and general sense of it before facilitating. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● Participants will be able to understand that there is a difference between gender and sexuality. ● Participants will be able to describe the difference between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and attraction. ● Participants will know at least one reason it is helpful and important to recognize these different components within gender. Process Steps 1. Frame the activity. For example, “When we talk about ‘LGBTQ’ we’re talking about a lot of sexualities and genders. For the next few minutes, we’re going to focus in on gender itself. This graphic is called the Genderbread Person, and will help us better understand what we mean when we say ‘gender,’ and all the different ways it shows up in our lives.” 2. Work through the genderbread person, first filling in the blanks and defining terms, then making the different components of gender salient — either by having participants reflect for themselves (see our example lecture), or by working through hypothetical examples. 3. Open up the space for questions about the models. 4. Wrap-up the activity. Genderbread Person Example Lecture + Guided Discussion Moving into the next handout, the genderbread person is a diagram that helps us understand gender and sexuality, and the parts that make up both. This model is meant to accurately depict the complexity of how these concepts show up in our society; it is not a depiction of what dream society 35 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/genderbread http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ could be. We’re going to start with the top half of the sheet , so we encourage you to fold the paper in half. To begin, let’s fill in the blanks and name the different parts of the genderbread person. On the first line, pointing to the brain, we can write “Identity.” Gender identity is who we, in our heads, know ourselves to be, based on what we understand to be the options for gender, and how much we align (or don’t align) with one of those options. Gender identity is our psychological sense of gender. On the line below that, pointing to the heart, we can write “Attraction.” Attraction is the different ways we feel pulled to other people, often categorized based on our gender and the gender of those we feel drawn to. This categorization is referred to as sexual orientation. On the bottom line on the right, we’ll write “Sex.” Sex, here referring to anatomical sex, refers to the physical makeup of our bodies, and specifically all the body parts we’ve named as sex characteristics -- both the primary traits we’re born with, and the secondary that we might develop later in life. On the left we have a line pointing to the entire diagram. On this line we can write “Expression.” Gender expression is all the different ways we present ourselves through our actions, our clothing, and our demeanor, and the gendered ways those presentations are socially interpreted. Does anyone have any questions about those terms, or their definitions? Let’s now unfold our paper and move on to the bottom half. Here you’ll see some scales and blank spaces. These are not fancy arrows. You can think of each of these as one-way continuums, or scales, depicting how the different components above may show up for us. For some people, it’s helpful to imagine a 0% on the left, and a 100% on the right. Again, we’re going to start by filling in the blanks. With gender identity, people often think of social roles, gender norms, and personality traits, and the expectations baked into these things. In the top blank, we can write “Woman” and in the bottom blank we can write “Man”, and we’re going to add a “-ness” to both of these, because these lines indicate all the varying degrees of potential “Woman-ness” and/or “Man-ness” with which someone might identify. With gender expression, people often think of hair styles, grooming, make-up, clothing, nonverbal mannerisms, and other things we see on the outside. We’ll write “Femininity” in the top line and “Masculinity” in the bottom line, as these are the two words that people generally use to describe the different ways our expressions show up. And with anatomical sex, the first things that people think of are genitals and reproductive organs, but lots of things make up what we call sex, including body hair, hip to shoulder ratio, chromosomes, pitch of voice, and more. On the top line, we’ll write “Female-ness,” and on the bottom line we’ll write “Male-ness,” because here we are depicting the varying degrees someone might embody these traits, as opposed to the sex a person is assigned at birth (which is generally solely determined by external genitalia at birth). 36 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Does anyone have any questions about these scales, or the words we’re using to label them? Now we’re going to fill in the blanks in the attraction section. People experience attraction (or don’t) in a lot of different ways. Two common ways people describe the attraction they may or may not be experiencing is as “sexual” and “romantic.” You can think of sexual attraction as the drive to engage in physically intimate behaviors like touching, kissing, or intercourse, and romantic attraction as the drive to engage in socially intimate behaviors like flirting, dating, and marriage. Some people experience both, some only one, and some neither. And within those experiences of attraction, we often focus on the gender of others that we are attracted to. In the top blanks on the write, you can write “Women” and in the bottom we can write “Men.” But we can also write all the words from above. That is, in the top line we might write “woman-ness, femininity, and/or female-ness,” and in the bottom line “man-ness, masculinity, and/or male-ness,” because our sexual or romantic attraction might be to a particular part of gender. For example, someone might be attracted to people who identify with a lot of woman-ness, but express a lot of masculinity. Does anyone have any questions about these scales, or the words we’re using to label them? What we’d like to do now is take a moment to consider where we land on these scales. How much woman-ness do you identify with? How much man-ness? Maybe neither? How much femininity and/or masculinity do you express? A lot of both? A lot of one and not a lot of the other? How much female-ness or male-ness do you see yourself embodying? You can draw a dot on each continuum, several dots to indicate a range, or leave it blank -- be as creative as you’d like. We won’t be collecting these, or asking you to share your answers. We’re going to give you 2 minutes. We are socialized to oversimplify all of this, and to think that once we know one thing about someone, we can fill in the rest of their blanks. For example, if we learn someone is a woman, we have a picture in our mind of what that person looks like and who she’s attracted to. We might assume she expresses gender in feminine ways, was assigned female at birth and embodies female-ness, and is exclusively attracted to men. This image is simple, however, is not true or complicated enough for many, if not most, of us. Many of us exist in different degrees on the scales above, and may zig-zag through them in ways that break assumptions and norms. To highlight this, we want to use the blank space between the gender and sexuality scales to write two things: “Identity ≠ Expression ≠ Sex,” and “Gender ≠ Sexual Orientation.” As we said at the beginning, the Genderbread is a model that shows us how complex gender and sexuality are in our current society, not the ideal world we would want to live in. Our hope is that understanding might lead to a healthier world, and we hope that this intro was a helpful step for you toward a better understanding of yourself and others. Make it your own 37 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ This activity can be done in exclusively lecture format or can be made interactive by asking participants for examples or suggestions during the lecture. It is best to give definitions for the terms before asking for examples. The three main ways people facilitate the Genderbread Person are either making it personal for the participants (as in the example lecture above), using themselves to make it personal (with anecdotes or personal examples), or using generic/fictional examples. All have their pros and cons. Unlock the Magic As much as possible, finding a facilitator “voice” that is authentic for you for this activity will make the biggest difference. Don’t necessarily facilitate it how you may have seen it done, or exactly how it’s explained above, if either of those will compromise your voice. When Genderbread goes really well, it hits hard for people — personally, and in their sense of the social implications of gender. For it to do this, you need to be able to make an authentic connection between the material and your participants. connect yourself, these concepts, and the participants. Notes The Genderbread Person is not meant to be a “utopian” vision of society and gender, but to more accurately depict the ways we experience gender today. To gain deeper understanding of all the terms and identity labels prior to conducting the activity, read Sam’s “ Breaking through the Binary: Gender Explained Using Continuums ” article ( szp.guide/bttb ) or book A Guide to Gender ( szp.guide/g2g ). Both are uncopyrighted and freely available for your reference or use. Many of the terms that come up throughout this activity are clarified in our vocab activity. When in doubt, the definitions can be used word-for-word in the lecture. 38 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/bttb https://szp.guide/bttb https://szp.guide/g2g https://szp.guide/g2g https://szp.guide/g2g http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Genderbread Person Handout Facilitator Guide 39 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Genderbread Person Handout Participant’s Sheet 40 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Privilege for Sale & Coming Out Small Group – 101 – Medium Trust – 25 mins – szp.guide/ privilegeandco Materials ● Privileges for Sale Participant Handout ● Coming Out Handout ● Scrap paper Setup ● Write different dollar amounts of money on the scrap paper — one piece per group Facilitator Framing ● Giving directions for this activity in steps will help ensure that participants don’t miss any part of the instructions. ● Privilege for sale is an activity that can have a lot of different outcomes and goals, many of which can be focused on in the debrief. If you want to use the activity to achieve certain goals/learning outcomes be sure to steer the debrief towards that end. ● The coming out handout flows nicely from privilege for sale but can be used/referenced anywhere in the curriculum. Goals & Learning Outcomes ● To acknowledge and investigate privilege. ● To provide an opportunity for participants to empathetically connect and reflect on the experience of having (or not having) privilege. ● To discuss the variety of privileges that the queer community (and other communities) have limited access to. Not just legal privileges but social, financial, etc. ● To discuss how no one privilege is more important than another, that for someone any privilege may feel essential. ● Participants will be able to identify privileges that they take for granted in their everyday life. ● Participants will discuss what types of privileges (social, financial, legal, etc.) are important to them and why that may differ from others in their group. ● Participants will be able to investigate and discuss what groups may have limited access to what privileges and effect that lack of access may have on an individual. Process Steps 41 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/privilegeandco http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 1. Break participants into small groups, ideally no more than 4 people. Have folks create little discussion pods around tables or with chairs in a circle, groups should be far away from each other so they can have a discussion without being distracted by the other groups. 2. Explain the directions: “On your sheet there is a list of privileges, for the purposes of this activity, you do not have any of these privileges. We have removed of these privileges and you, as a group, need to buy them back from us. Each privilege costs $100. One of us is going to come around in a moment and give an amount of money to each group. That is the amount of money that you as a group have to spend. We will give you a few minutes to talk together and decide what privileges you’d like to buy. After we’re going to come back to the big group and debrief.” 3. Check to see if the group has any questions on the directions. 4. Pass out dollar amounts for the different groups on scrap paper. ( Typically we vary the amounts from $300-$1400) 5. Give the groups approximately 5 minutes (giving them a “half-way” / 2 minute warning) to discuss and decide which privileges they would like to buy. 6. Debrief the activity as a whole with the group. 7. Transition into the Coming Out Handout. Debrief questions What was this activity like? How did this activity make you feel? ● For some people this is a new experience because they’ve never thought of privilege in this way, or in a list form like this. ● It can sometimes be a deeply triggering or frustrating activity because perhaps you don’t have access to a lot of these privileges and seeing all of the privileges in a list can be challenging. ● For others it can be deeply moving/emotional because they’ve never thought of all the privilege that they do have before. This can bring up feelings of guilt or even feelings of shame for taking things for granted. How did you go about picking privileges? ● Some groups go democratic of everyone gets to pick one privilege. Groups with less money often don’t have the opportunity to go that route. ● Sometimes different amounts of money change our priorities. Often times groups with less money will make different decisions than if that same group had had more money. ● Often times conversations about values and about life goals come up when folks begin picking privileges. 42 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ What on this list surprised you? ● A lot of times people don’t realize all of the privileges that they take for granted. And that’s often because privilege is invisible to those of us who have privilege it. ● Sometimes people mention that they’d never thought of what it would actually be like not to be able to use a public bathroom without threat or punishment. It is interesting to think about that conversation from a personal perspective rather than as a political issue. Why do you think this activity is called “Privilege for Sale” instead of “Heterosexual Privilege for Sale” or “Cisgender Privilege for Sale?” ● While some of these privileges may apply to sexuality or gender they may also relate to race, class, ability, or even religion. We are all likely approaching it from a lens of gender and sexuality because that’s what we’ve been focused on today but a lot of different marginalized experiences/identities apply to this list. Why do you think we choose money? We could have easily said that each privilege was worth a token and you have 5 tokens, what does money represent? ● When you have more money you can actually buy privileges, you can move to new locations where some of the social privileges may be more easily accessed or you can hire a lawyer to manage adoption paperwork for instance. ● Money is a form of privilege. When you have money you may not be as concerned that you could lose your job or may be rejected from housing. ● We take money very seriously and we understand how it can affect our decision making processes. Why do you think we gave groups different amounts of money? ● Sometimes you can think that you that you only have $500 until you realize that someone was less privileged than you and then all of a sudden the $500 feels differently. ● It can create animosity between groups even though the groups were simply assigned the money and it was really the facilitators who should be receiving the animosity. What have you learned from this activity? How does this activity and what you’re learning from this activity translate into your job or work? Coming Out Handout 1. Transition from the Privilege for Sale portion of the activity to the coming out hand out. One way to do this is to highlight that straight individuals and cisgender individuals often do not have to navigate a coming out process because their identity is assumed correctly by others. Not having to come out is a privilege. 43 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 2. Ask a participant in the group to read the first section of the handout (the first block of color) and then ask another participant to read the next section, continue like this until the whole handout has been read. 3. Share/highlight with the group the key points on the handout, highlighting everything you believe might be important information. Wrap-up Clarify any points above that you didn’t land with your participants that you feel are particularly relevant and important for the group. Summarize the main learning points that they shared. Make it your own You can modify this list to talk about whatever types of privileges you’d like to highlight, like cisgender privilege , male privilege , christian privilege , or White privilege . You can experiment with pace (e.g., more decision-making time, or less), group size, rules (e.g., introduce a “fire sale” in the last minute of decision-making where certain privileges cost $50), and the allocations of money (e.g., a huge economic disparity, or everyone getting the same amounts). Unlock the Magic No two facilitations of this activity will be the same, even if — especially if — you try to make that happen. Sometimes you’ll have a group be righteously mad. Other times the primary emotion surfaced might be sadness or dejection. Sometimes groups are just confused or baffled by these examples “How did I not see this before?!” The trick to this activity is not trying to elicit a particular emotional/cognitive response, but being present to whatever your group surfaces , and honing in on that: what’re they feeling, where’s it coming from, what meaning might you make from it? This activity is a ton of fun if you let your group take the lead, and follow them where they take you. Enjoy the ride. Notes The word “privilege” has become really loaded, and a borderline trigger for a lot of people. Further, other activities or interventions meant to help folks “check their privilege” often backfire, or fall short. Keeping this all in mind, Privilege for Sale is (or at least can be ) different. Just be prepared for pushback, and do your best to validate or understand where it is coming from. We’ve had tons of participants, after the training or on a break after this activity, tell us something along the lines of “That was so different from how I’ve always seen ‘privilege’ done.” This activity will really hit home for some people. Give people time to debrief and be ready to validate any emotions that come up for the group. It is also a really great activity to refer back to later in the training because a lot of people really connect with this activity and can use it to understand other impacts of bias or prejudice or how additional levels and layers of privilege would interact. 44 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/11/30-examples-of-male-privilege/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/11/30-examples-of-male-privilege/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/05/list-of-examples-of-christian-privileg/ http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/05/list-of-examples-of-christian-privileg/ https://nationalseedproject.org/images/documents/Knapsack_plus_Notes-Peggy_McIntosh https://nationalseedproject.org/images/documents/Knapsack_plus_Notes-Peggy_McIntosh http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Privileges for Sale Please look at the following list of privileges. Each privilege costs $100 to purchase. As a group, please purchase as many privileges as your money allows. 1. Celebrating your marriage(s) with your family, friends, and coworkers. 2. Paid leave from your job when grieving the death of your partner(s). 3. Inheriting from your partner(s)/lover(s)/companion(s) automatically after their death. 4. Having multiple positive TV role models. 5. Sharing health insurance with your partner(s). 6. Being able to find role models of the same sexual orientation. 7. Being able to see your partner(s) immediately if in an accident or emergency. 8. Being able to be promoted in your job without your sexuality playing a factor. 9. Adopting your children. 10. Filing joint tax returns. 11. Able to obtain child custody. 12. Being able to complete forms and paperwork with the information you feel most accurately communicates who you are. 13. Being able to feel safe in your interactions with police officers. 14. Being able to travel, or show ID in restaurants or bars, without fear you’ll be rejected. 15. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment. 16. Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options. 17. Not questioning normalcy both sexually and culturally. 18. Reading books or seeing movies about a relationship you wish you could have. 19. Receiving discounted homeowner insurance rates with your recognized partner(s). 20. Raising children without worrying about state intervention. 21. Having others comfort and support you when a relationship ends. 22. Being a foster parent. 23. Using public restrooms without fear of threat or punishment. 24. Being employed as a preschool or elementary school teacher without people assuming you will “corrupt” the children. 25. Dating the person you desired in your teens. 26. Raising children without worrying about people rejecting your children because of your sexuality. 27. Living openly with your partner(s). 28. Receiving validation from your religious community. 29. Being accepted by your neighbors, colleagues, and new friends. 30. Being able to go to a doctor and getting treatment that doesn’t conflict with your identity. 31. Being able to access social services without fear of discrimination, or being turned away. 32. Sponsoring your partner(s) for citizenship. 33. Being open and having your partner(s) accepted by your family. 45 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 46 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Anonymous Q&A Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/anonymousqa Materials ● Scrap paper/index cards ● Pen/pencils ● ( optional) hat or some kind of vessel to put questions in Setup ● Pass out index cards/ scrap paper to all participants and ensure everyone has a pen/pencil Facilitator Framing ● This activity is best when you feel comfortable fielding most questions that participants may ask. You can always skip or come back to a question that is asked as you’ll have them on the cards and may not get to all the questions regardless of ability to answer them. Goals & objectives ● Provide an opportunity for all participants to ask the questions they are most curious about and have them answered ● An opportunity to generate scenarios for the activities later in the training Process Steps 1. Hand out scrap paper or index cards. 2. Let participants know that this section of the training is called Anonymous Q&A and they should use the paper in front of them to ask you any question they like. Let them know (if you are comfortable) that this question can be about anything. Personal, political, social, curiosity, misconceptions, random ideas, or a scenario that they would like to go over as a group. Ask them to fold their cards, then leave the cards on your desk or pass around a “hat” of some sort. Make sure you collect an index card from everyone (even if it’s blank). 3. Once the questions have all been handed in, review them (quickly) and see if there are any that are on a similar topic to address all at once. 4. Read out the questions verbatim and answer them to the best of your ability. Alternatively share the questions with the group and ask for input if you think others would also have interesting thoughts/input on the questions. Notes It is important to wait until the vast majority (if not all) hand in their questions so that people don't feel like you will know which question is theirs because you've already begun to read through them. 47 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/anonymousqa http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ If you receive a question that you are not comfortable answering - don't read it aloud. Only you and the participant that asked the question will recognize that you did not answer the question. Alternatively, leave a number of questions unanswered and let participants know that you will get back to them via email about questions you did not get to answer. This will allow you time to discuss optional answers with others before answering the question(s) - but it is important to follow through on this. Remember it is important not to phrase your opinions as if you speak for an entire group identity. If you’re answering personally (e.g., the question is about bisexual people and you’re bi), be explicit in grounding your answers in your experience with your identity, or your understandings. Unlock the Magic This activity can create a lot of opportunities to facilitate discussions that the participants really want to have. They wrote down the topic so you know at least one person is interested. As you move forward in your facilitation skills you can really allow these conversations to go and just help focus the conversations to be productive dialogue. Reading out the questions verbatim allows you to practice your “Yes… and's" ( szp.guide/yesandrule ) . Often participants phrase a question in a way that uses a word that sounds awkward, or in a way that others may find offensive. Practice rephrasing or correcting without shutting someone down. If someone writes, “Why do all queers go to pride?” You could read that out loud and then say, “Right. Okay, so this question is asking why do all queer people go to pride. I just added the word ‘people,’ in there because we encourage using the word queer as an adjective. So, why do all queer people go to pride?” Then answer the question. (Spoilers: they don’t) 48 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/yesandrule https://szp.guide/yesandrule https://szp.guide/yesandrule http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ F(earfully) Asked Questions Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/fearfullyaskedquestions Materials ● Sticky flip-chart paper ● Markers Setup ● Write up and number a few of your pre-determined fearfully asked questions on the flip chart paper Facilitator Framing ● Safe Zone participants are often afraid to ask questions that they perceive as being too basic, prejudiced, or offensive. That does not mean, however, that most people aren’t wondering about those types of questions — they are! This activity is designed confront those unasked questions and provide an opportunity for participants to get accurate, healthy answers. Goals & objectives ● Participants will be able to separate myth from fact, and accurate information from hearsay, regarding popular misconceptions about LGBTQ people. Process Steps 1. Prior to the training, prepare a flipchart (or powerpoint slide) with 5 - 7 common questions you believe your group might have regarding LGBTQ people, but would be afraid to ask (e.g., because they are worried about appearing ignorant or offending someone). 2. Number the questions and write them large and legibly, allowing for people to easily identify them. The numbers allow participants to simply call out a number (instead of having to actually ask the question themselves). 3. When you begin this activity, hang the flipchart where participants can see them. 4. Provide context for the questions. For example, “These are common questions that folks have regarding LGBTQ people and we wanted to provide an opportunity to answer any questions that you have on this sheet. What is the number of one of the questions you would like us to answer?” 5. Answer each question a participant chooses. Continue until all questions are answered, the group stops choosing numbers, or you are out of time. Sample “Fearfully Asked” Questions 1. What bathroom does a transgender person use? 2. How do lesbians have sex? 49 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/fearfullyaskedquestions http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 3. Are all transgender people gay? 4. Is bisexuality real? 5. Why is there a LGBTQ community, but not a straight community? 6. Why are gay men more promiscuous? 7. Don’t all these labels actually make it worse not better? 8. In a gay relationship, who is the man? 9. Can I ask someone how they identify? 10. Is a man who dates a transgender woman actually gay? Unlock the Magic This format of question answering gives you total control to only answer questions you’re comfortable answering, and to prepare (or even script out) your answers beforehand. Take advantage of this difference! Practice answering the questions with a co-facilitator or peer. Ask them to challenge you in particular ways you’re nervous about encountering in the room. Come up with several distinct ways to answer every question (e.g., in a really direct, short way; using an anecdote or statistic; situating your answer within a larger picture; using humor) and you’ll be able to choose the one, in the moment, that best matches the tone of the room and group you’re with. Notes None of the questions in our sample list are “easy” to answer, nor do they have one correct answer. Just asking some of those questions, or creating space for questions like this, is potentially opening a can of worms. Be ready for this when you choose your questions, or decide to use this activity. 50 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Scenarios Small Group – 201 – Medium Trust – 15 mins – szp.guide/scenarios Materials ● Scenario handouts for participants Setup ● Cut the scenarios up and have at least one for each small group Facilitator Framing ● Scenario are an opportunity for your group to practice putting some of the concepts and understandings they learned earlier in the workshop into practice. ● We recommend coming up with 2-3 scenarios that you believe would most benefit your group to work through. This benefit might be determined by a scenario the group is most likely to encounter, the group is most likely to struggle with, or another criteria. ● We’ve included the participant handout and facilitator guide for each scenario with suggested bullets for guidance. Goals & objectives ● To provide real world situations that participants may encounter in the future and for participants to think through and game plan the different ways to handle the situation ● To empower participants to feel more comfortable applying the knowledge that they have gained during the course of the training in real-world situations ● To provide a framework for participants to use when working through scenarios and when considering scenarios for multiple periods in time. Process Steps 1. Introduce the activity to the participants. For example, “Now that we’re nearing the end of our training, we are going to focus on some scenarios related to these concepts that you may encounter in your daily lives.” 2. Split your participants up into small groups of 3 - 4. 3. Provide each group with a scenario to work through. Let the groups know they’re going to have a few minutes to discuss solutions before sharing their thoughts with the larger group. 4. If any group finishes remarkably quickly, use the scenario learning cycle to prompt additional questions (ex. “What could you do to prevent the scenario from happening? What might you do immediately afterward or following up later in the week after the scenario?”) to elicit further conversation. 51 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/scenarios http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 5. Bring the groups back together and review the scenarios. 6. Ask an individual from each group to read out their scenario and then ask the whole group to discuss what they thought the best way to handle the scenario would be. Ask for feedback from the larger group, add your own, and then move onto the next group repeating the process. 7. If the group is struggling to work through a scenario, particularly if they don’t understand the concern, them through these steps: Group Work Stages: 1. Clarify the problem : At this stage you really want to identify what the problem is and make sure everyone in the group agrees on what the issue is before moving to the next step. 2. Identify options : Have the group brainstorm a number of different options that are available to address the problem at hand. These options may be more or less feasible but you don’t need to address that at this stage, just get the options out there. 3. Weigh outcomes : Now that you’ve identified options, talk through some of the options presented and what the possible outcomes of going that direction could be. Weigh pros and cons. 4. Do it. Listen. Reassess : Talk through implementing the decided upon direction with the group. If it would be helpful talk about some possible future barriers/complications after taking that path and talk through those as well as possible scenarios. The instructions above provide some clarity for the facilitator on how to debrief scenarios with the group. If the group’s answers are all focused on the “in the moment” response to the scenario prompt additional thoughts by using the scenarios learning cycle: During is “in the moment” that the scenario is taking place. After is immediately after where as follow-up maybe later in the day or a week or two later. Before is focusing in on how to prevent that moment from happening again. 52 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Wrap-up One of the key things that we want y’all to get out of this exercises relates to the “ Platinum rule ” ( szp.guide/platinumrule ). The idea behind the platinum rule is that while the golden rule (treat others as you would want to be treated) is a good start, it leads us to believe (and treat) people as we wanted to be treated and not necessarily how they want to be treated. In discussing these scenarios hopefully we’ve teased out a bit that there are often different ways to address an issue or a sticking point and that the most important thing in order to support someone is to find out how they want to be supported. Make it your own You can do this activity a number of different ways. Here are a few: Process the scenarios as one large group having an all-group discussion, rather than having people break into small groups (one scenario at a time). Put a spectrum on a wall with three signs labeled “very confident”, “somewhat confident”, and “not at all confident”. Read out a scenario and ask people to place themselves on the spectrum of how confident they would be in handling this situation you just described. From here, you can have individuals from one of the groups (e.g., the “very confident”) share their thoughts, or you can split people into smaller groups — taking people from all parts of the spectrum and putting them together. Cut up the scenarios sheet and hang different scenarios around the room. Ask people to stand by the one they would most like to answer or work through, then follow the same process steps above (make sure no group gets too big; it’s preferable to break a big group into two smaller ones, even if they’re working on the same scenario). Unlock the Magic The more relevant the scenario, the most powerful this activity. Some of the best scenarios present themselves earlier in the training in the form of a prescient, complicated question from a participant. If you get a question that sounds like a scenario (e.g., “What do you do when…?” or “My coworker/classmate said…?), write it down and tell the group you’ll cover it later, and use it as a scenario during this activity. Notes We provide scenarios on the next few pages as examples. However, we recommend limiting the total number of scenarios you provide your group to 2-3, and choosing the scenarios that are most likely to help your participants. 53 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/platinumrule http://szp.guide/platinumrule http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Scenarios for Staff, Faculty, Employees 1. You’ve noticed a fellow staff member making comments that are subtly homophobic and transphobic, which are making you and others uncomfortable. You’re unsure if this person realizes what they are saying is problematic or not. What might you do? 2. You’re interacting with someone new, and they introduce themselves as Alex and they look very androgynous. You’re not really sure what pronouns to use - what should you do? 3. You’re giving a tour to someone who are considering hiring and they ask is if the office is LGBTQ friendly. How might you respond? 4. A student/participant you work with on a regular basis shares with you that they are gay and are nervous to tell others and worried about how this will affect their hireability in the future. How do you support this person? 5. A staff member shares at a staff meeting that they are trans* and would like everyone to use a new name and the pronouns “they/them/theirs,” while everyone at the staff meeting is very positive and affirming in the moment, afterward there is a lot of confusion and hesitancy about how to proceed. People aren’t sure how to let others know, what to do when they mess up pronouns/names, what other types of support this person may want/need. How might you proceed? 6. You bring up the idea of your office/team doing a diversity/inclusion training. There is a lot of eye rolling and no one says anything affirming about the idea. Someone comments, “we’re all really accepting here, I don’t think we need to do that sort of training.” How might you respond? 54 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Scenarios for Students, Youth, & Peers 1. You’ve started to become closer friends with someone over the last 3 months. One day you’re hanging out and they seem really nervous and uncomfortable. You ask them what’s up and they tell you that they’re gay and worried you’re going to reject them and that everyone is going to reject them. What do you do? 2. You’re working on a project with some people in class and the first time you meet someone says, “Ugh this project is so gay right? What a stupid project.” A few people look at each other awkwardly but don’t say anything. How might you respond? 3. You’re helping out with a program when someone comes over and says, “Hey this is Alex, Alex is here to help us set-up.” And then walks away leaving you with Alex. You’ve never met before, Alex is very androgynous and you’re not really sure what pronouns to use with Alex. You’re going to be introducing them to others helping set up, so you want to know. What might you do? 4. You’re part of an LGBTQ and ally group and one day you make the suggestion that the group might want to do and LGBTQ-awareness training. You’ve noticed a lot of internalized homophobia as well as biphobia/transphobia within the group and you’re hoping that the training would be a good way to start getting at those things. There is a lot of discomfort and someone says, “It’s straight people who need to be educated not us.” What might you do? 5. One of your teachers/mentors (who you know quite well) is talking about sexuality or gender in class. When the discussion goes quiet they turn to one student, who is out as gay on campus, and ask if you have anything additional to add. This makes you feel really uncomfortable, what do you do? 55 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Facilitation Suggestions: Staff, Faculty, Employees Scenarios 1. You’ve noticed a fellow staff member making comments that are subtly homophobic and transphobic, which are making you and others uncomfortable. You’re unsure if this person realizes what they are saying is problematic or not. What might you do? ○ Follow-up . Ask to chat with this person and then let them know what you’ve noticed and give an example. ○ Relate in. When giving feedback, relate-in to this person: “I used to mess this up all the time and while it took some practice at getting better, I’ve noticed people feel more at ease around me now.” ○ Strategize. Talk with another staff member about how to respond in the moment to the negative comments. Come up with a response that feels appropriate and try it out the next time this person makes a comment. ○ Delegate . Perhaps you know that you’re not willing to connect with this person directly. Find someone who would be and support them approaching this person. ○ Keys to success ■ Give them the benefit of the doubt that they likely didn’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable and don’t realize it’s having that effect. ■ Highlight this is about their actions not their identity. A lot of times people take things as a personal attack, be sure to speak to and focus on the behavior not on the person’s beliefs/identity or whether they are a good/bad person. 2. You’re interacting with someone new, and they introduce themselves as Alex and they look very androgynous. You’re not really sure what pronouns to use - what should you do? ○ Share your pronouns & ask theirs . “Hey my name is Marla and my pronouns are she/her/hers. What are your pronouns?” ■ This is particularly important if you’re going to be introducing them to other people. ○ Use their name . If you haven’t asked their pronouns yet, use their name every time. “Alex is here to check out the office. Alex have you been anywhere else today?” ○ If you mess up, apologize, correct, and move on . “He was -- oh, I’m sorry, Alex. She. She was saying that she was over at the pizza place for lunch.” 3. A student/participant you work with on a regular basis shares with you that they are gay and are nervous to tell others and worried about how this will affect their hireability in the future. How do you support this person? ○ Affirm them and appreciate their trust. “ I am really glad that you know this about yourself and I also appreciate your honesty in sharing your concerns with me. Those 56 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ concerns are real and valid to worry about, and perhaps there are ways that we can work through them that can make them less scary.” ○ Find out what’s most pressing . Perhaps they want to talk about coming out to people. Perhaps they want to talk about the job. Inquire more into which one they want to talk about first/today, depending on the time you have together. ○ Ask clarifying questions . “Who have you told so far? What have their reactions been? Are there specific people that you’re nervous about telling? Do you have any evidence that this may go well or go poorly? Do you feel that it will be safe for you to tell the people you want to tell? What kind of timeline are you hoping to tell people on?” ○ Be honest. “This might affect your hireability because some people do discriminate against people for being gay. I hope that doesn’t happen to you, because it’s simply not acceptable for people to treat you that way.. But there are ways to navigate the job process to better ensure you’re supported in your job as a gay employee, and to help identify if a workplace is a good fit for you.” 4. A staff member shares at a staff meeting that they are trans* and would like everyone to use a new name (Trey) and the pronouns “they/them/theirs,” while everyone at the staff meeting is very positive and affirming in the moment, afterward there is a lot of confusion and hesitancy about how to proceed. People aren’t sure how to let others know, what to do when they mess up pronouns/names, what other types of support Trey may want/need. How might you proceed? ○ Ask Trey . “Hey Trey, wanted to thank you for sharing that important information with me and let you know that I’m here to support you in this process. I recognize I have gaps in my knowledge around the different challenges you may face, so if there is anything I can do to help that I’m not doing, or not doing well, please let me know.” ○ Practice using their name/pronouns regardless if they are around. Get in the habit of using this person’s new name/pronouns whenever you talk about them. If you want additional practice, ask a colleague to listen to you while you tell a story about the first time you and Trey met, or an experience you’ve had with Trey, using their new name/pronouns the entire time. ○ Acknowledge, apologize, and move on when you mess up. “Yeah that was Trey’s idea. He -- I mean they, they were saying…” You can sometimes simply correct yourself and move on without an apology, though sometimes after repeated mistakes it makes sense to apologize. However, apologize for them, not for you. ○ If you learn something new ask if you can share with the group. If you mess up and Trey says, “You know, I’d rather you correct yourself than spend time apologizing.” Ask if this is information you can share with others if they are wondering. There is going to be a lot of practice and educating, and Trey doesn’t have to do it alone. 5. You bring up the idea of your office/team doing a diversity/inclusion training. There is a lot of eye rolling and no one says anything affirming about the idea. Someone comments, “we’re all 57 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ really accepting here, I don’t think we need to do that sort of training.” How might you respond? ○ Separate acceptance vs. awareness/knowledge . “I think that we all are really accepting but things change and sometimes we might not have the awareness or the knowledge to back up our value of acceptance. Always good to brush up on our understanding.” ○ Investment communicates importance . “I agree, we are all really accepting, but in order for us to communicate that we are invested in creating accepting and open environments, we need to invest time into additional training.” ○ For other people. “ We all know that we’re really accepting here but that doesn’t mean other people are aware of it. This will provide us some context to help communicate that acceptance to others.” ○ Our impressions don’t always align. “I would like to think of myself as a very accepting person, and I know that I have some areas of growth as well. However, it’s not easy to know what you don’t know and training helps highlight some gaps that we may not be able to see we have.” Facilitation Suggestions: Students, Youth, Peers Scenarios 1. You’ve started to become closer friends with someone over the last 3 months. One day you’re hanging out and they seem really nervous and uncomfortable. You ask them what’s up and they tell you that they’re gay and worried you’re going to reject them and that everyone is going to reject them. What do you do? ○ Affirm them and their sharing with you. “I really appreciate you sharing that with me, we’re cool, it doesn’t change anything between us that you’re gay. I’m glad you felt you could tell me.” ○ Ask questions. “Who else are you wanting to tell? Are there any people you’ve told already that have reacted badly? Are there other people you know who have your back?” ○ Offer to think things through. “If you want to walk through what it might be like to tell other people or how best to do that, we could do that.” ○ Let them know you have their back. “You know if anyone reacts badly to you, know I’ve got your back. I’m also down to talk to them and let them know it’s cool with me.” 2. You’re working on a project with some people in class and the first time you meet someone says, “Ugh this project is so gay right? What a stupid project.” A few people look at each other awkwardly but don’t say anything. How might you respond? ○ Correct their language without addressing it directly. “Yeah, it is kind of a rough project, but I’m sure we can figure it out.” 58 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ ○ Address it in the moment by assuming best intent. “Hey, I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it, but if we could not call this assignment gay, I’d appreciate that.” ○ Follow up with them after. “Hey, I’m not sure if you realized this but you called the project gay and it just kinda bums me out when people do that, so I wanted to let you know.” ○ Connect with someone else to ask if they’d address it. Perhaps they have a friend in the group or someone who is more comfy with confrontation. Ask after if they’d be up for letting the person know it wasn’t an okay thing to say.” 3. You’re helping out with a program when someone comes over and says, “Hey this is Alex, Alex is here to help us set-up.” And then walks away leaving you with Alex. You’ve never met before, Alex is very androgynous and you’re not really sure what pronouns to use with Alex. You’re going to be introducing them to others helping set up, so you want to know. What might you do? ○ Introduce yourself including your name and pronouns. “Hey Alex, I’m Max, I use he/him pronouns.” ○ Invite Alex to share their pronouns . “What are your pronouns? I ask because I’m sure I’m going to be introducing you to new people and want to make sure I get it right.” ○ Use Alex’s name and no pronouns. “Alex is going to be helping us out with this, and I’m happy to have Alex on the team.” 4. You’re part of an LGBTQ and ally group and one day you make the suggestion that the group might want to do and LGBTQ-awareness training. You’ve noticed a lot of internalized homophobia as well as biphobia/transphobia within the group and you’re hoping that the training would be a good way to start getting at those things. There is a lot of discomfort and someone says, “It’s straight people who need to be educated not us.” What might you do? ○ Agree and add more . “I think you’re totally right that straight people often are more ignorant of what it means to be part of the LGBTQ community than this group is. And perhaps learning more about it will help us understand how to explain things better.” ○ Call yourself in. “I know I’ve learned a lot from being in this group and I know that there is still a lot more to learn. I think that we all could grow in our abilities to understand and connect with each other, so that’s why I’m interested.” ○ One marginalized identity doesn’t give you info on another. “I think that because we have so many identities in this group, I know for me being _______ doesn’t mean that I know what it’s like to be _______. Gay people can have a lack of understanding about trans identity, or what it’s like to be pansexual, and vise-versa.” 5. One of your friends recently came out to you as genderqueer. They want you to use they/them/their pronouns and let you know their new name is Jay. You find yourself really struggling with pronouns and find yourself stressed about messing up Jay’s name/pronouns 59 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ with others. You want to be affirming and are really worried you’re not doing a good job. What might you do? ○ Practice on your own . Grab a friend and ask if you can if you can practiced talking about Jay with their new name and pronouns. Tell a story about you and Jay using their new name/pronouns, or talk about how you first became friends. ○ Practice regardless if Jay is around. Sometimes people can get lazy if their friend isn’t around, ensure that you’re using the right name/pronouns at all times. ○ Ask others to hold you accountable. Tell your mutual friends, “Hey, I’m really struggling with this. Please remind me when I mess up.” ○ When you mess up, apologize and move on . Even if it feels like a really big deal in the moment, apologize, correct yourself, and move on. That will allow things not to become focused on you for messing up. ○ Apologize to Jay outside of those moments. If you find yourself messing up a lot, let Jay know, “Hey, I’m sorry I’m struggling so much with this. Please know I really respect you and know this is important, and I’m going to keep working on it and getting better.” 60 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Wrap-Up and Feedback Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 5 mins – szp.guide/wrapup Materials ● Participant feedback forms ● Self feedback form Setup ● N/A Facilitator Framing ● Wrapping up the workshop is important in order to provide a sense of closure to the experience, review the material covered, and initiate thoughts around next steps. ● We recommend asking for feedback that you know you will use. If you are looking to change/alter the content material, ask for feedback on the content, if you want feedback on your facilitation process, ask for questions on your facilitation. Do not ask for feedback you are not going to meaningfully use. Goals & objectives ● Wrap up the program by summarizing the takeaway points from the different aspects of the training. ● Remind participants the events of the training giving them a chance to reflect on what they've experienced and learned over the course of the program. ● Opportunity to make any last points or take-aways. ● Opportunity for participants give feedback on the training that will help the facilitator grow and develop the training in the future. Process Steps: 1. Let participants know that we are going to be wrapping up the training. 2. Summarize the activities that you did during the training, the main takeaway points that you want participants to leave with, and what they can do from here to continue being and becoming better allies. Some points you might want to include are: ● encourage participants to continue to continue these conversations outside of this space ● encourage participants to inquire and address negative/hurtful language/assumptions, even when they are nervous ● Encourage participants to continue to educate self/others on these and other social justice issues 61 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://szp.guide/wrapup http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 3. Let them know that in a minute you'll be looking for their feedback. Let them know what you will use the feedback for and how important it is to growing and bettering the trainings in the future ( this will encourage folks to give meaningful feedback). 4. Hand out feedback forms and let participants know where to put them when they are done. If you’ll be sticking around the workshop for questions afterward let participants know that as well. Any additional information you want your group to have be sure to share before passing out feedback forms. Make it your own Modify the feedback form to fit your needs and interests and for the participating group. Unlock the Magic Remember: self-evaluation and self-feedback ( szp.guide/selffeedbackblog ) is critical to you improving as a facilitator. We wrote a whole article on it we think it’s that important. So while it can be very tempting to forget or not do this part, your future self will thank you! You can even do it while your participants fill out their feedback forms! Notes It is very easy to forget to or not prioritize Wrap-up as a part of the training. However, if you have a decision between doing another scenario or wrapping the workshop up in a meaningful way we encourage you to choose Wrap-up. The training will feel much more complete when you give a little summary at the end and provide some context for next steps. Wrap-up also increases the quality of the feedback you receive as you have just reminded participants all of the different aspects that you covered the training. 62 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/selffeedbackblog https://szp.guide/selffeedbackblog https://szp.guide/selffeedbackblog http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Participant Feedback Form Please answer honestly :) What is one thing that you learned from the training today? What did you enjoy about today’s training? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What could be improved for the next time this training is facilitated? How do you think this training could be improved? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who would you recommend this training to? What would you say to get them interested? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Additional feedback for the facilitators? This could be in regards to material covered or the facilitation process. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 63 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Facilitator SELF Feedback Form Reflection questions for you to complete at the end of your facilitation What went well? What could have gone better? What aspect of the training do I want to change? How do I want to change it? What aspect elicited the most learning for the group? How can I recreate it? What questions or moments was I unprepared for? What follow-up do I need to do before next time? Anything facilitation-wise I want to change, or try out, next time? Final thoughts for next time? 64 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Resources Websites, reading lists, recommended orgs, and more at szp.guide/resources Full List of Vocab Terms: szp.guide/vocab Websites for Learning More ● Asexual Visibility and Education Network — www.asexuality.org ● Bisexual.org — www.bisexual.org ● Everyday Feminism — www.everydayfeminism.com ● Get Real — www.getrealeducation.org ● It's Pronounced Metrosexual — www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com ● Salacious — https:// salaciousmagazine.com ● Soul Force – www.soulforce.org ● TransWhat? — www.transwhat.org ● We Are The Youth — www.wearetheyouth.org Organizations Doing Good ● GLAAD — www.glaad.org — Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation ● GLSEN — www.glsen.org — Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network ● Family Acceptance Project — https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/ ● It Gets Better Project — www.itgetsbetter.org ● National Gay and Lesbian Task Force — www.thetaskforce.org ● The “Not All Like That” (NALT) Project — http://notalllikethat.org ● The Religious Institute — http://www.religiousinstitute.org ● PFLAG — www.pflag.org — "Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies United with LGBT People" ● Transgender Law Center — www.transgenderlawcenter.org ● The Trevor Project — www.thetrevorproject.org Want even more Resources? We have even more resources that don’t fit on this page. Head to www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources to find more! Are you, or is someone you know, in crisis? Trevor Hotline: “If you’re thinking about suicide, you deserve immediate help.” Call 1-866-488-7386 or text “TREVOR” to 1-202-304-1200 Trans Lifeline: “A peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers.” Call 877-565-8860 (United States) or 877-330-6366 (Canada) 65 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/resources https://szp.guide/vocab http://www.asexuality.org/ http://www.bisexual.org/ http://www.everydayfeminism.com/ http://www.getrealeducation.org/ http://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/ http://www.salaciousmagazine.com/ http://www.soulforce.org/ http://www.transwhat.org/ http://www.wearetheyouth.org/ http://www.glaad.org/ http://www.glsen.org/ http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ http://www.thetaskforce.org/ http://notalllikethat.org/ http://www.religiousinstitute.org/ http://www.pflag.org/ http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/ http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Curriculum 5.0 Edition Late Updated July 18, 2018 Check out www.TheSafeZoneProject.com for the most recent version. Sign up for the free mailing list to stay current. Help evolve this document! Using this curriculum? Have tweaks, suggestions, new activities you use, specific scenarios you like, or new ways to facilitate it? Awesome! Let us know so we can share your good work with others. Contact us at yo@thesafezoneproject.com . What’s new in the 5th Edition? ✔ Accessibility overhaul, including higher contrast ratios and more legible body text typefaces ✔ Every activity and handout links to a parallel document on the SZP website, where you can find more tips, context, and help ✔ Added multiple training timelines, a training set-up guide, and “about this curriculum” ✔ Reworked lectures and example framing for most activities ✔ Sprinkled more facilitator advice throughout, including several new “Unlock the Magic” tips ✔ New vocab terms, updated definitions, and rewrote facilitator steps in activity walkthrough Uncopyright This document was created and uncopyrighted ( szp.guide/uncopyright ) by Meg Bolger and Sam Killermann — in the spirit of accessibility, advancing equity, and promoting social justice — along with all of the other materials and resources at www.TheSafeZoneProject.com . 66 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ mailto:yo@thesafezoneproject.com http://thesafezoneproject.com/about/uncopyright/ https://szp.guide/uncopyright http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum - Facilitator Guide 5.0 Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum - Participant Packet 5.0 e Training Overview Group Norms First Impressions of LGBTQ Core Vocabulary LGBTQ Umbrella Genderbread Person Privilege for Sale Questions, Questions, Questions Scenarios Feedback 2 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Group Norms 1. Be Smarter than Your Phone No matter how good you are at multitasking, we ask you to put away your phone, resist from texting and all that jazz. We will take a break and you can send a quick text, snap, tweet, insta, etc. at that point. If you are expecting a phone call you cannot miss we will not judge! 2. Questions, Questions, Questions Please feel free to ask questions at any time throughout this training. Unless someone is mid-sentence, it is always an appropriate time to ask questions. Even if it isn’t relevant to the topic, throw it out there – get it off your mind and on to ours. 3. Vegas Rule Slightly modified! So during the training someone may share something really personal, may ask a question, may say something that they wouldn’t want attached to their name outside this space. So remember that what is said here stays here and what is learned here leaves here. You’re welcome to share anything that we say in this space with others and attach it to our name but we respectfully request that you take away the message from others’ shares and not their names. 4. LOL We really appreciate it if, at some point, y’all could laugh! This training is going to be fun, and we’ll do our best to keep it upbeat, so just know… it’s ok to laugh! Laughter indicates that you’re awake, that you’re paying attention, and that we haven’t killed your soul. So yeah… go ahead and do that! 5. Share the Airtime If you are someone who participates often and is really comfortable talking – awesome! Do it. Also we ask that you try to remain aware of your participation and after you’ve shared a few times to leave space for other people to also put their ideas out there. If you usually wait to share… jump in! 6. Reserve the Right to Change Your Mind If you say something and then later disagree with yourself, that is a-okay! This is a safe space to say something and then later feel differently and change your mind. We even encourage it. As a wise Safe Zone participant once said, “Stop, rewind, I changed my mind.” 3 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ First Impressions of LGBTQ People Answer the following questions to the best of your ability: 1. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer? 2. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 3. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are transgender? 4. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of transgender people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 5. How have your impressions/understanding of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) people changed or evolved throughout your life? 4 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Core Vocabulary ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect. asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.” biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.” biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. biphobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward bisexual people. bisexual – 1 noun & adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some men and women. 2 adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders an individual may be attracted to. Often used interchangeably with “pansexual”. cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and gender identity correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and identifies as a man). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.” coming out – 1 noun : the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 verb : the process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others. gay – 1 adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 adj. : an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who is not straight. gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” 5 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be. Often conflated with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. genderqueer – 1 adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight. homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. homophobic – adj. : a word used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of negative attitudes toward LGBTQ people. homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay or lesbian instead). intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. lesbian – noun & adj. : women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to other women. LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbr. : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or Genderqueer]). pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” passing – 1 adj. & verb : trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 adj. : an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight. 6 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ queer – 1 adj. : an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender. 2 noun : a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not embraced or used by all LGBTQ people. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”). questioning – verb, adj. : an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity. romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantically intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in sexually intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to some people who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. transgender – 1 adj. : a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) from living as one gender to another. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth and gender identity do not correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, but does not identify as a man). transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. 7 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ LGBTQ-INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE DOs and DON’Ts AVOID SAYING... SAY INSTEAD... WHY? EXAMPLE "Hermaphrodite" "Intersex" Hermaphrodite is a stigmatizing, inaccurate word with a negative medical history. "What are the best practices for the medical care of intersex infants?" "Homosexual" "Gay" "Homosexual" often connotes a medical diagnosis, or a discomfort with gay/lesbian people. "We want to do a better job of being inclusive of our gay employees." "Born female" or "Born male" "Assigned female/male at birth" "Assigned" language accurately depicts the situation of what happens at birth "Max was assigned female at birth, then he transitioned in high school." "Female-bodied" or "Male-bodied" "-bodied" language is often interpreted as as pressure to medically transition, or invalidation of one's gender identity "A gay" or "a transgender" "A gay/transgender person" Gay and transgender are adjectives that describe a person/group "We had a transgender athlete in our league this year. " "Transgender people and normal people" "Transgender people and cisgender people" Saying "normal" implies "abnormal," which is a stigmatizing way to refer to a person. "This group is open to both transgender and cisgender people." "Both genders" or "Opposite sexes" "All genders" "Both" implies there are only two; "Opposite" reinforces antagonism amongst genders "Video games aren't just a boy thing -- kids of all genders play them." "Ladies and gentlemen" "Everyone," "Folks," "Honored guests," etc Moving away from binary language is more inclusive of people of all genders "Good morning everyone, next stop Picadilly Station." "Mailman," "fireman," "policeman," etc. "Mail clerk," "Firefighter," "Police officer," etc. People of all genders do these jobs "I actually saw a firefighter rescue a cat from a tree." "It" when referring to someone (e.g., when pronouns are unknown) "They" "It" is for referring to things, not people. "You know, I am not sure how they identify." 8 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 9 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 10 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Privileges for Sale Please look at the following list of privileges. Each privilege costs $100 to purchase. As a group, please purchase as many privileges as your money allows. 1. Celebrating your marriage(s) with your family, friends, and coworkers. 2. Paid leave from your job when grieving the death of your partner(s). 3. Inheriting from your partner(s)/lover(s)/companion(s) automatically after their death. 4. Having multiple positive TV role models. 5. Sharing health insurance with your partner(s). 6. Being able to find role models of the same sexual orientation. 7. Being able to see your partner(s) immediately if in an accident or emergency. 8. Being able to be promoted in your job without your sexuality playing a factor. 9. Adopting your children. 10. Filing joint tax returns. 11. Able to obtain child custody. 12. Being able to complete forms and paperwork with the information you feel most accurately communicates who you are. 13. Being able to feel safe in your interactions with police officers. 14. Being able to travel, or show ID in restaurants or bars, without fear you’ll be rejected. 15. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment. 16. Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options. 17. Not questioning normalcy both sexually and culturally. 18. Reading books or seeing movies about a relationship you wish you could have. 19. Receiving discounted homeowner insurance rates with your recognized partner(s). 20. Raising children without worrying about state intervention. 21. Having others comfort and support you when a relationship ends. 22. Being a foster parent. 23. Using public restrooms without fear of threat or punishment. 24. Being employed as a preschool or elementary school teacher without people assuming you will “corrupt” the children. 25. Dating the person you desired in your teens. 26. Raising children without worrying about people rejecting your children because of your sexuality. 27. Living openly with your partner(s). 28. Receiving validation from your religious community. 29. Being accepted by your neighbors, colleagues, and new friends. 30. Being able to go to a doctor and getting treatment that doesn’t conflict with your identity. 31. Being able to access social services without fear of discrimination, or being turned away. 32. Sponsoring your partner(s) for citizenship. 33. Being open and having your partner(s) accepted by your family. 11 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ 12 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Participant Feedback Form Please answer honestly :) What is one thing that you learned from the training today? What did you enjoy about today’s training? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What could be improved for the next time this training is facilitated? How do you think this training could be improved? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who would you recommend this training to? What would you say to get them interested? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Additional feedback for the facilitators? This could be in regards to material covered or the facilitation process. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 13 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ Resources Websites, reading lists, recommended orgs, and more at szp.guide/resources Full List of Vocab Terms: szp.guide/vocab Websites for Learning More ● Asexual Visibility and Education Network — www.asexuality.org ● Bisexual.org — www.bisexual.org ● Everyday Feminism — www.everydayfeminism.com ● Get Real — www.getrealeducation.org ● It's Pronounced Metrosexual — www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com ● Salacious — https:// salaciousmagazine.com ● Soul Force – www.soulforce.org ● TransWhat? — www.transwhat.org ● We Are The Youth — www.wearetheyouth.org Organizations Doing Good ● GLAAD — www.glaad.org — Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation ● GLSEN — www.glsen.org — Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network ● Family Acceptance Project — https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/ ● It Gets Better Project — www.itgetsbetter.org ● National Gay and Lesbian Task Force — www.thetaskforce.org ● The “Not All Like That” (NALT) Project — http://notalllikethat.org ● The Religious Institute — http://www.religiousinstitute.org ● PFLAG — www.pflag.org — "Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies United with LGBT People" ● Transgender Law Center — www.transgenderlawcenter.org ● The Trevor Project — www.thetrevorproject.org Want even more Resources? We have even more resources that don’t fit on this page. Head to www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources to find more! Are you, or is someone you know, in crisis? Trevor Hotline: “If you’re thinking about suicide, you deserve immediate help.” Call 1-866-488-7386 or text “TREVOR” to 1-202-304-1200 Trans Lifeline: “A peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers.” Call 877-565-8860 (United States) or 877-330-6366 (Canada) 14 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com https://szp.guide/resources https://szp.guide/vocab http://www.asexuality.org/ http://www.bisexual.org/ http://www.everydayfeminism.com/ http://www.getrealeducation.org/ http://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/ http://www.salaciousmagazine.com/ http://www.soulforce.org/ http://www.transwhat.org/ http://www.wearetheyouth.org/ http://www.glaad.org/ http://www.glsen.org/ http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ http://www.thetaskforce.org/ http://notalllikethat.org/ http://www.religiousinstitute.org/ http://www.pflag.org/ http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/ http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources http://www.thesafezoneproject.com/ __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._Safe Zone Foundational Curriculum - Participant Packet 5.0 Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Sticker Files/Icon __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Sticker Files/._Icon Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Sticker Files/Safe-Zone-Trained-Sticker-1000 Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/Sticker Files/Safe-Zone-Trained-Sticker-3000 __MACOSX/Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition/._Sticker Files __MACOSX/._Foundational Safe Zone Curriculum 5.0 Edition