Peer review

Please use the attached peer review worksheet to review the two essays attached.

Creative Nonfiction — Peer Response Sheet

Title of Paper_____________________________________________________

Peer Editor Instructions:

· Remember that being a good editor of someone else’s work can make you become a better writer too, because it forces you to think more about what makes good writing. So, it is just as important for the writer as it is for the “peer editor.”

· Concentrate on giving the best analysis and suggestions that you can. Complete the response sheet by answering these question fully.

1. Summarize the event that the writer conveys. Explain how familiar you were with the event prior to reading this essay. What did you learn?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Evaluate the introduction. Does it have an effective attention grabber? Does it invite the reader in? If not, how would you improve it? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Finish this statement: “Some things I liked best about this paper were…” ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Where could the author use more description and/or add sensory details?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Did the author tell the story in a confident and conversational manner? What are some of the major academic writing mistakes you identify in this work (run-ons, subject-verb agreement, narrative voice, etc.)? Be specific. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

World Trade Center

Mary McNeill

Professor Hugo Walter

The Confident Writer 1201_ENG3316_OL2

20 February 2020

World Trade Center, September 11, 2001

It’s about 8:30 in the morning and I have just stepped off the train at 53rd street in Manhattan. I huff up the stairs with what seems like hundreds of other people into the bright Tuesday morning sky. It was an exceptionally beautiful morning. Who would have thought that that morning, September 11, 2001 would so greatly change my sense of security.

It is amazing the things you remember when a tragic incident happens. I remember walking to my office building while chatting with others about what a beautiful morning it was. I can’t believe that in less than an hour that morning turned dark, gray and murderous.

By the time I arrived to my desk news of a plane hitting one of the World Trade Center towers was buzzing through the office. I joined co-workers in the lunch room where television screen showed live video of thick, black smoke billowing from the building. We gasped and held each other and said a silent pray for the people trapped in the building.

We all believed at the time that it was a freak accident. Maybe the pilots got sick. Maybe there was a mechanical failure. It had to be an accident. If not an accident then what? As that questioned lingered in our minds a second plane hit Tower Two of the World Trade Center. Now it was clear. This was no freak accident. No medical emergency. This was a deliberate, ruthless act. America was under attack!

More and more of my co-workers came into the lunch room. Many were already in tears before they even saw what was being broadcast on the television. We all came to realize that things would never be the same. The security that we felt living here in the United States was upended. We’re vulnerable just as so many other countries around the world are.

I left the lunchroom and headed back to my desk, just as many of my co-workers did. We all were thinking of our families. I got to my desk as my phone was ringing. It was my mom in a panic and crying. She didn’t know how close I worked to the World Trade Center. To my mother Manhattan is a foreign land. I told her I wasn’t close. She said and Kim. Kim, my cousin, worked just a couple of blocks from the World Trade Center. My heart sank. I didn’t want to tell my mother how close she was to this tragedy. I told my mom I’m sure she’s fine even though I didn’t believe it.

There were two more plane attacks. One plane hit the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., the other crashed into a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Four attacks. We all wanted to go home and be with our families but we couldn’t. New York City was on lockdown. No transportation in or out of the city. We had to sit in the office and wait.

When it was all said and done we learned that 19 young men had carried out the four horrendous attacks.

The attacks caused the change in how we travel, how we bank, even how we access our workplaces. One example of this change for me is the mandatory building evacuation drill that I have to attend at my office every six months.

In the days that followed September 11, 2001, I started to hear personal stories of how the event had impacted them. One was my friend who worked in Tower Two. She told me that there was a lot of confusion that morning when the plane hit Tower One. The security personnel had said that Tower Two was secure and that they should remain in their offices. Shortly after that another announcement was made that they should evacuate the building. Not feeling panicked at all she shut down her computer and went to the bathroom before returning to get her stuff. Other people in her office did the same. Precious minutes was going by. By this time she said there was another announcement saying that they should stay in their offices again. She said something told her just to leave the building. Once she got to the staircase she said it was total chaos. When she finally made it out the building she couldn’t believe the chaos. She was told to just keep moving. She made a couple of blocks away where she was able to stay in a building. In less than an hour both Towers collapsed.

My friend’s aunt perished in Tower One. Instead of evacuating with the rest of her colleagues she decided to stay with a wheelchair bound co-worker. Her colleagues said she didn’t want to leave this person by himself. She was sure that the Fire Department would get to them. How could she have known that in a short period of time the tower would collapse?

That night President George W. Bush spoke to the American people, from the Oval office in Washington, D.C. In his “9/11 Address to the Nation”, President Bush said, “Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts.”. So now to me it was official. There had been speculation throughout the day from the news media that these were terrorist attacks but somehow for me hearing it from the President made it real.

The President went on to describe what we all had seen that day, what we all felt. He said, “The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge — huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger”. He hit on every one of my emotions. I remember crying and being angry and wanting someone to pay for this. Pay so bad that they would never try it again. But it could happen again. No matter how we respond, no matter who we takedown. It could happen again. This was the new reality.

I think as an American living on American soil, I always felt a false sense of safety. That American interests around the world would be more susceptible to attacks than America itself. September 11, 2001 shattered those thoughts like a cheap drinking glass hitting the floor. If people are motivated enough they will find a way to cause destruction and pain. If they don’t succeed the first time they will try again and again.

The President’s speech did its best to calm Americans down. To tell us that our way of life will go on. He said, “The functions of our government continue without interruption.” He also said, “Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business as well”. The very next day I was heading into my office with what seemed like hundreds of people again but it was different.

In the days and weeks after September 11, 2001 I watched the news every night and cried as the memorial site grew bigger, as people talked about the loved one they were missing. The loved one believed to be lost in the rubble of what at one time were the tallest buildings in New York City.

So much of how we live our lives have changed since that fateful day. Security concerns are all around us. Today I still take the train to work. I listen to the announcements of “if you see something, say something”. I still work in an office building where I need to separate passes to gain access in the building. All of these extra security precautions don’t give me a false sense of security. But they make me aware that we will have to be diligent in protecting our way of life.

References

History.com Editors. September 11 Attacks. A&E Television Networks. February 17, 2010.

https://www.history.com/topics/21st-century/9-11-attacks

. 20 February 2020

www.AmericanRhetoric.com

20 February 2020

Sanchez 1

Sanchez 2

Jose Sanchez

1201_ENG3316_OL2

02/16/2020

Gone Too Young, Too Soon: The Assassination of Malcolm X

I sat teary eyed, small and broken on the corner of West 165th street and Broadway. Playing and replaying what I could only hope was a bad dream; our brother was taken from us in a hail of bullets. I loved him, was given instruction on manhood by him, I could not imagine a day without him.

The day began with a flurry of activity. I jumped out of bed with more energy than I did during the school week. We were on our way to hear El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz speak in Harlem. My daddy James passed shortly after I was born and mama said that El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz was a righteous example of what Black men were supposed to be in our communities and I loved my mama, so I wanted to become a righteous example of a Black man for her. I got to the bathroom first, and raced through brushing my teeth, combing my hair and washing my face. I put on my Sunday clothes that mama had set out for me, and went to the kitchen to have my toast and milk. Mama was already up and ready. She was humming a tune playing on the radio in her mind, and sipping her coffee. My mama was Willie-May Stephens, and as she would tell it was a lowly woman of ill repute before she met my daddy. Together they found the Nation and changed their lives. They spoke loud, and proud of their Blackness. When daddy died, mama became quiet all the time, and took less time readying herself for the world outside. Then one day when I came home Mama was in a state, she and Ms. Pearl from across the way were gathered over the radio box listening to this booming voice, that was as strong as rock. But, what struck me most was the joy in his laugh, even when he made fun of Christians he didn’t sound altogether disrespectful, just jovial about the lack of knowledge Christians seemed afflicted with. Mama called me over and told me who the voice and laughter belonged to El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, Leader of Temple 5 in Harlem. From that day forward, I read about him, I listened to his teachings, I tried to emulate his laughter. I envisioned growing up to be just like him. So, when I tell you, that the morning of February 21, 1965 was a morning like no other, I assure you there was never a day like it before and there hasn’t been a day close to it since. I’m 48 now as I write this on the anniversary of his death; preparing to give a speech to a group of young men I’ve mentored over the last year, and I find myself stuck trying to wrap up how I want to send these young Black boys off to find their way in a world designed to jail or bury them. I find myself feeling the stiff coldness of that February morning, with its grey clouds, and biting wind, walking quickly from our small two room apartment on 155th and Broadway toward the Auditorium, Mama doing her best to not cry because like she told me just before we left the house “Palmer baby, today we are going to take the first step back toward our greatness, we are going to hear the plans for our people from El-Hajj himself.” I loved when mama talked about our greatness, because when she did she always wore this wide smile on her face, like she was recalling a memory from childhood. It didn’t take us long to get to the auditorium but it did take a few moments for my hands to warm up, and my teeth to stop chattering. We were shown our seats in the middle of the left section by one of the brothers at the door, who greeted my mama like she was royalty. There was a small passage of time as the place filled in with every color and shade of Blackness. Some carried serious faces, some smiled gingerly, some were just nonchalant faces of those who had nothing better to do and just wanted to be out the cold. There came a slender brother to the stage who opened by saying As-Salam-u-Alaikum. The crowd responded in kind wa-Alaikumussalam wa-Rahmatullah. He then started to describe El-Hajj by his works, like one would describe a champion boxer. Then out comes the man of the hour, El-Hajj. He was a Black god to a boy like me, yet unlike the Christian god he was in the flesh, he was real. There were specks of grey in the hair of his beard, and he appeared tired. He gave a greeting, and that’s when a commotion began. There was shouting and then a loud bang, followed by a trumpeting of successive bangs, which would have sufficed, if it were not for the growing crunching of Black bodies colliding with one another, and chairs as people screamed and ran for the doors. Mama had my had caught in hers and was pulling me along out the building and back into the cold, grey of the morning. It took a while for the screaming to quiet down, but what rose out of the silence was more visceral and haunting. The wailing of the collective Black soul as we all grappled with what we had just saw our hero, our voice, our embodiment of god lying still, stiff, lifeless on stage.

Time stood still while we awaited the police and the ambulance. Their arrival came like a flurry of snow. They crowded the block forcing everyone to clear the way while they put on a show of caring about the situation. I saw as they caught one man who I assumed was one of the shooters, only after the mob of supporters had attempted to stomp him to death. By the time the dust cleared, and people were staggering home, holding their hearts, and fighting to keep back a river of tears, I was holding onto my lost sense of reality. Mama and I along with some neighbors shuffled homeward in silence. When we arrived, I had to take the keys from mamas’ hand and open the door, as she just stood there with a blank expression on her face. I didn’t know that the worst was yet to come. The next few months my world was turned upside down. I listened to the trial of the people who the media said killed El Hajj in disbelief. One of the men said the other two had nothing to do with it, but because of something called circumstantial evidence they were found guilty. Mama never quite recovered after that day, and soon found herself committed to a mental ward, and I had to go stay by lady Esther, who was kin to my daddy. Mama died in the mental ward, doctors say from an aneurism but I think it was from heartbreak. Lady Esther did alright by me, kept me grounded, taught me El Hajj’s lessons on being an upright Black man, just like my mama had done. I graduated college and went on to be a successful teacher for wayward students. Every year I revisit that day in memory. Its ties to what make me who I am have been impossible to shake. What could we have become if El Hajj had been given more time with us, his people? My community struggled so much after his passing, we fought so much to reclaim our senses after a drug infestation claimed our streets and so many lives. We fought harder to get decent education in our schools. It has always been my goal to continue with his work, but it has also been a trial filled with tribulations just keeping on a righteous path.

Good morning my young Kings, I welcome you to the beginning of the rest of your lives. You have been sent here because you did not do well in your previous academic settings, but here you are today, beautiful, Black boys filled with confidence, knowledge and love. In the words of Malcolm X, “There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time”. Tomorrow you begin anew, hold your heads high, you have all earned your General Education Diplomas. Some of you will embark on a journey of continued studies at the collegiate level, and I applaud you and support you fully. Others will begin some form of trade craft, you are to be commended for deciding to put your knowledge directly in contact with a means of earning an income to free yourselves economically. I will be there with you all, do not go from this place feeling alone, your brothers are there with you always and I am here for you all ways. Rise young men, the world awaits your greatness.