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Email Writing

follow the instructions in word file and write an email depwnding on the situation given, please check the plagiarism, iam attaching a pdf as well for refernce u can use it for ideas and samples.

Writing an Email Message

This email message assignment is based on a scenario that establishes a writing situation.

Please read the following scenario, then review the assignment requirements before beginning to write.

Scenario

You are the director of human resources for
WidgetCorp
.

A couple of employees have approached their supervisors and requested that their spouses or friends be allowed to participate in company intramural baseball, basketball, and volleyball teams. Although the teams play only once a week during the season, these employees state that they don’t want to take anymore time away from friends and family. There are 65 employees that currently participate in coed teams, and these teams are for company employees only. These sports activities were designed to improve employee morale and give employees chances to bond and foster good relationships.

One of the issues you see is if non-employees were to participate, employee interaction would be limited. Although some team members might have fun if spouses or friends were included, you are not so sure all employees would enjoy it. You are concerned that including family and friends would affect employees’ relationships as employees might spend more time with their friends and family rather than with their co-workers.

Another issue is that Widgetcorp doesn’t want to pay for the extra administrative or equipment costs of creating more teams. In addition, adding more teams also would require changes to team rosters and game schedules. This could create a bigger problem as some employees would not be able to participate because of budgetary restriction and scheduling restrictions, which is something you don’t want to happen because it goes against the reason for setting up the intramural sports teams in the first place.

You understand the need for social time with friends and families, and guests are always welcome as spectators at all sporting events. In addition, Widgetcorp sponsors a family year-end party and an annual summer picnic for family and friends to enjoy.   

What you need to do:

Write an email to all Widgetcorp staff stating the policy of having only employees on Widgetcorp’s intramural sports teams. In your email include a method for employees to send their confirmation stating that they understand and will follow the policy. The deadline for this response should be 7 days from when you send your email.

Widgetcorp’s address and telephone number are NYIT-701 W Georgia St Suite #1700, Vancouver, BC V7Y 1K8, phone

(604) 639-0942

Your business email address is your NYIT email address.

Assignment

1. Write an informative email to all employees detailing the company intramural sport team policy.

Refer to Chapter 4 and class power-point presentation for correct email format and organization.

Access chapter-
specific interactive

learning tools,
including quizzes and
more in your English
CourseMate, accessed
through www
.cengagebrain.com.

132

C H A P T E R 4

Writing Routine Business
Correspondence
Memos, Faxes, Emails, IMs, and Blogs

Memos, faxes, emails, IMs, and blogs are the types of writing you will do most
frequently on the job. These five forms of business correspondence are quick, easy,
and effective ways for a company to communicate internally as well as externally.
You can expect to send one or more of these routine forms of correspondence each
day to co-workers in your department, to colleagues in other divisions of your
company, to decision makers at all levels, and to clients and customers as well.

What Memos, Faxes, Emails, IMs, and Blog Posts
Have in Common
Although memos, faxes, emails, IMs, and blog posts are very different types of
correspondence, they share the following characteristics:

1. Each of these types of correspondence is streamlined for the busy world
of work. Unlike letters, proposals, or reports, which can be long and detailed and
contain formal parts and sections, these routine types of correspondence give writ-
ers and readers a particularly fast way to communicate. Even though memos do
have to be formatted (see page 136), they, like blog posts, IMs, and emails, are
ready-made to send and receive shorter messages.

2. They give busy readers information quickly. While the messages they contain
can be about any topic in the world of work, most often they focus on day-to-day
activities and operations at your company—sales and product information, policy and
schedule changes, progress reports, orders, troubleshooting problems, and so forth.

3. They are informal. Compared to letters, proposals, and reports, these kinds
of routine correspondence are not as formal. They emphasize a conversational, yet
professional, style of writing.

4. Even though they are routine, they still demand a great deal of thought and
time. Although memos, emails, blogs, and IMs are less formal than, for instance,

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a letter to a client, they all must be written clearly and with correct grammar and
punctuation, even when the correspondence is between two employees. Always
plan what you are going to write.

5. They represent your company. These routine messages are reflections of your
company’s image and your professionalism. Be careful about what you write and
how you say it. Just because the format of your message is informal does not mean
you can be unprofessional, even in a brief email to a co-worker. Your success as an
employee can depend as much on your writing an unbiased, ethically proper email
or blog post as it does on your technical expertise.

Memos
Memorandum, usually shortened to memo, is a Latin word for “something to be
remembered.” The Latin meaning points to the memo’s chief function: to record in-
formation of immediate importance and interest in the busy world of work. Memos
are brief and informal but can contain official announcements that serve a variety of
functions, including

■ making an announcement
■ providing instructions
■ clarifying a policy, procedure, or issue
■ changing a policy or procedure
■ alerting employees to a problem or issue
■ making a request
■ offering suggestions or recommendations
■ providing a record of an important matter
■ confirming an outcome
■ calling a meeting

Memos are usually written for an in-house audience, although the memo format can
be used for documents sent outside a company, such as proposals or short reports
(see Chapters 13 and 14) or for cover notes for longer reports (see Chapter 15).

Memos keep track of what jobs are done where, when, and by whom; they also
report on any difficulties, delays, or cancellations and what your company or orga-
nization needs to do about correcting or eliminating them.

Memo Protocol and Company Politics
As with any other forms of business correspondence, memos reflect a compa-
ny’s image and therefore must follow the company’s protocol—accepted ways in
which in-house communications are formatted, organized, written, and routed.
In fact, some companies offer protocol seminars on how employees are to prepare
communications. In addition to following your company’s protocol, use these com-
monsense guidelines when writing memos:

1. Be timely. Don’t wait until the day of the meeting to announce it.

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TO: Lucy
FROM: Roger
DATE: November 12, 2012
SUBJECT: Review of “Successful Website” Seminar

As you know, I attended the “How to Build a Successful Website” seminar on
November 7 and learned the “rules and tools” we will need to redesign our
own site.

Here is a review of the major topics covered by the presenter, Jackie Chen:

1. Keep your website content-based—identify your target audience.
2. Visualize and “map out” your site ahead of time.
3. Design your website to look the way you envision it—make it aesthetically

pleasing.
4. Be sure your site is easy to navigate, especially for global readers.
5. Make sure the site is easy to find by search engines such as Google for

maximum exposure.
6. Create hot links and image maps to move users from page to page.
7. Encourage visitor interaction by soliciting feedback.
8. Complete your site with appropriate sound and animation.
9. Keep your site updated.

Could we meet in the next day or two to discuss recreating our website in light
of these guidelines? I would really appreciate your suggestions about this
project as well.
Thanks.

2. Be professional. Just because a memo is an informal, in-house communication
does not mean you should compose a poorly organized, poorly written, or factu-
ally inaccurate document. Notice that in Figure 4.1, the informal memo between
Roger and Lucy is professionally written, clearly organized, and properly spelled
and punctuated.

3. Be tactful. Be polite and diplomatic, not curt and bossy. For example, in
Figure 4.2, notice how Janet Hempstead adopts a firm tone regarding an important
safety issue, yet she does not blame or talk down to her readers—the machine shop
employees. Politeness and diplomacy count a lot at work.

en
ga

ge
Le

ar
ni

ng
2

01
3

FIGURE 4.1 Standard Memo Format

Header

Memo parts

Introduction
provides
background
and tells reader
what memo
will do

Preview

Numbered list
in body helps
readers follow
information
quickly

Conclusion
asks for
comments

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FIGURE 4.2 Memo on Letterhead with a Clear Introduction, Discussion, and Conclusion

To: Machine Shop Employees
From: Janet Hempstead, Shop Supervisor
Date: September 27, 2012
Subject: Cleaning Brake Machines

During the past two weeks I have received several reports that the brake
machines are not being cleaned properly after each use. Through this memo I
want to emphasize and explain the importance of keeping these machines clean
for the safety of all employees.

When the brake machines are used, the cutter chops off small particles of metal
from brake drums. These particles then settle on the machines and create a
potentially hazardous situation for anyone working on or near the machines. If
the machines are not cleaned routinely before being used again, these metal
particles could easily fly into an individual’s face or upper body when the brake
drum is spinning.

To prevent accidents like this from happening, please make sure you vacuum
the brake machines after each use.

You will find two vacuum cleaners for this purpose in the shop—one of them is
located in work area 1-A, and the other, a reserve model, is in the storage area.
Vacuuming brake machines is quick and easy: It should take you no more than a
few seconds, a small amount of time to make the shop safer for all of us.

Thanks for your cooperation. If you have any questions, please call me at
Extension 324, email me, or come by my office.

204 South Mill St., South Orange, NJ 02341-3420 (609) 555-9848 JHEMP@dearco.com

DEC
Dearborn Equipment Company

Introduction
explains
purpose and
impor tance of
memo

Writer’s initals
verify message

Discussion
states why
problem exists
and how to
solve it

Safety message
is boldfaced for
emphasis

Conclusion
builds goodwill
and asks for

questions

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4. Send memos to the appropriate personnel. Don’t send copies of a memo to
people who don’t need to read them. It wastes time and energy. Moreover, don’t send
a memo to high-ranking company personnel in place of your immediate supervisor,
who may think you are going over his or her head. For instance, in Figure 4.3, Mike
Gonzalez has sent his memo only to the vice president and the public relations offi-
cer, the two people who will most likely benefit from the memo’s recommendations,
and in Figure 4.2, Janet Hempstead has sent her memo only to the machine shop
workers, not to the upper management of the Dearborn Company.

Keep in mind, though, that memos are often sent up and down the corporate
ladder. Employees send memos to their supervisors, and workers send memos to
one another. Figure 4.1 shows a memo sent from one worker to another. Figure 4.2
contains a memo sent from the top down, and Figure 4.3 illustrates a memo sent
from an employee to management.

Memo Format
Memos vary in format and the way they are sent. Some companies use standard,
printed forms (as in Figure 4.1), while others have their names (letterhead) printed
on their memos (as in Figures 4.2 and 4.3). You can also create a memo by includ-
ing the necessary parts in an email, as in Figures 4.4 and 4.5, which appear later in
this chapter.

As you can see from looking at Figures 4.1 through 4.3, memos look different
from letters. They are also less formal. Because they are often sent to individu-
als within your company, memos do not need the formalities necessary in busi-
ness letters, such as an inside address, a formal salutation or complimentary close,
or a signature line, as discussed in Chapter 5 (see pages 171–176). But if your
memo extends to a second page, you do need to carry over at least two lines and
include a page notation at the top of subsequent pages (see Figures 13.6 and 14.13
as examples).

Memo Parts
Basically, the memo consists of two parts: the header, or the identifying informa-
tion at the top, and the message itself. This identifying information includes four
easily recognized parts: To, From, Date, and Subject lines.

TO: Aileen Kelly, Chief Computer Analyst
FROM: Stacy Kaufman, Operator, Level II
DATE: January 30, 2012
SUBJECT: Progress report on the fall schedule

You can use a memo template, as below with information filled in, in your
word-processing program that lists these headings, as follows, to save time.

TO: [Enter name]
FROM: Linda Cowan
DATE: [Enter date]
RE: [Enter subject here.]

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TO: Rachel Mohler, Vice President
Harrison Fontentot, Public Relations
FROM: Mike Gonzalez
SUBJECT: Three Ways to Increase Ramco’s Community Involvement
DATE: March 2, 2012

At our planning session in early February, our division managers stressed the
need to generate favorable publicity for our new Ramco facility in Mayfield.
Knowing that such publicity will highlight Ramco’s visibility in Mayfield, I
think the company’s image might be enhanced in the following three ways.

CREATE A SCHOLARSHIP FUND
Ramco would receive favorable publicity by creating a scholarship at
Mayfield Community College for any student interested in a career in
technology. A one-year scholarship would cost $6,800. The scholarship could
be awarded by a committee composed of Ramco executives and staff. Such a
scholarship would emphasize Ramco’s enthusiastic support for the latest
technical education at a local college.

OFFER SITE TOURS
Guided tours of the Mayfield facility would introduce the community to
Ramco’s innovative technology. These tours might be organized for
academic, community, and civic groups. Individuals would see the care we
take in protecting the environment in our production and equipment choices
and the speed with which we ship our products. Of special interest to visitors
would be Ramco’s use of industrial robots working alongside our employees.
Since these tours would be scheduled in advance, they should not conflict
with our production schedules.

PROVIDE GUEST SPEAKERS
Many of our employees would be excellent guest speakers at civic and
educational meetings in the Mayfield area. Possible topics include the
advances Ramco has made in designing and engineering and how these
advances have helped consumers and the local economy.

Thanks for giving me your comments as soon as possible. If we are going to
put one or more of these suggestions into practice before the facility opens in
mid-April, we’ll need to act before the end of the month.

marketing@Ramco.com www.Ramco.com

Where Technology Shapes Tomorrow

FIGURE 4.3 A Memo That Uses Headings to Highlight Organization

Introduction
supplies
background
and rationale

Company logo

Header

Headings reflect
organization

Relates plan
to company
mission and
image

Body offers
concrete
evidence (costs,
personnel,
location) that
plan can work

Closing
emphasizes
the feasibility
of the plan
and requests
feedback and
authorization

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On the To line, write the name and job title of the individual(s) who will re-
ceive your memo or a copy of it. If you are sending your memo to more than one
reader, make sure you list your readers in the order of their status in your company
or agency, as Mike Gonzalez does in Figure 4.3 (according to company policy, the
vice president’s name appears before that of the public relations director). If you are
on a first-name basis with the reader, use just his or her first name, as in Figure 4.1.
Otherwise, include the reader’s first and last names. Don’t leave out anyone who
needs the information.

On the From line, insert your name (use your first name only if your reader re-
fers to you by it) and your job title (unless it is unnecessary for your reader). Some
companies ask employees to handwrite their initials after their typed name to ver-
ify that the message comes from them and that they are certifying its contents, as in
Figures 4.2 and 4.3. You do not have to key in your initials in a memo sent as an email.

On the Date line, do not simply name the day of the week. Give the full calen-
dar date (June 1, 2012).

On the Subject line, key in the purpose of your memo. The subject line serves
as the title of your memo; it summarizes your message. Vague subject lines, such as
“New Policy,” “Operating Difficulties,” or “Software,” do not identify your mes-
sage precisely and may suggest that you have not restricted or developed it suf-
ficiently. Note how Mike Gonzalez’s subject line in Figure 4.3 is so much more
precise than just saying “Ramco’s Community Involvement.”

Questions Your Memo Needs to Answer for Readers
Here are some key questions your audience may ask and your memo needs to
answer clearly and concisely:

1. When? When did it happen? Is it on, ahead of, or behind schedule? When
does it need to be discussed or implemented? When is answered in Figures 4.1
(“November 7,” “in the next day or two”), 4.2 (“during the past two weeks,” “after
each use”), and 4.3 (“in early February,” “before the end of the month”).

2. Who? Who is involved? Who will be affected by your message? How many
people are involved? Who is answered in Figures 4.1 (Jackie Chen), 4.2 (all machine
shop employees), and 4.3 (Ramco Technologies as a whole).

3. Where? Where did it take place or will it take place? Where is answered in
Figures 4.1 (the website seminar), 4.2 (the brake shop), and 4.3 (the Mayfield facility).

4. Why? Why is it an important topic? Why is clearly answered in Figures 4.1
(because the website is being redesigned), 4.2 (because it’s a safety issue), and 4.3
(because favorable publicity will help the company).

5. Costs? How much will it cost? Will the costs be lower or higher than a com-
petitor’s costs? Not every memo will answer financial questions, but in Figure 4.3,
the specific cost of an individual scholarship ($6,800) is an important issue.

6. Technology? What technology is involved? Why is the technology needed? Is
the technology available, current, adaptable, safe for the environment? Again, not

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every one of your memos will answer questions about technology, but note that
Figures 4.1, 4.2, and 4.3 all especially refer to technological issues—website design,
equipment safety, education, robots.

7. What’s next? What are the next steps that should be taken as a result of the
issues discussed in the memo? What are the implications for the product, service,
budget, staff? A good example of this is in Figure 4.3 (the company needs to decide
on how to implement the suggestions before the new plant opens).

Memo Style and Tone
The audience within your company will determine your memo’s style and tone (for
a review of identifying audience, see Chapter 1, pages 12–17). When writing to a
co-worker whom you know well, you can adopt a casual, conversational tone. You
want to be seen as friendly and cooperative. In fact, to do otherwise would make
you look self-important, stuffy, or hard to work with. Consider the friendly tone
appropriate for one colleague writing to another as in Roger’s memo to Lucy in
Figure 4.1. Note how he ends in a polite but informal way.

When writing a memo to a manager, though, you will want to use a more
formal tone than you would when communicating with a co-worker or peer. Your
boss will expect you to show a more respectful, even official, posture. See how
formal yet conversationally persuasive Mike Gonzalez’s memo to his bosses is in
Figure 4.3. His tone and style are a reflection of his hard work as well as his respect
for his employers. Here are two ways of expressing the same message, the first more
suitable when writing to a co-worker and the second more appropriate for a memo
to the boss.

Co-worker: I think we should go ahead with Marisol’s plan for reorganization. It
seems like a safe option to me, and I don’t think we can lose.

Boss: I think that we should adopt the organizational plan developed by Marisol
Vega. Her recommendations are carefully researched and persuasively
answer the questions our department has about solving the problem.

When an employer writes to workers informing them about policies or procedures,
as Janet Hempstead does in Figure 4.2, the tone of the memo is official and straight-
forward. Yet even so, Hempstead takes into account her readers’ feelings (she does
not blame) and safety, which are at the forefront of her rhetorical purpose.

Finally, remember that your employer and co-workers deserve the same clear and
concise writing and attention to the “you attitude” (see Chapter 5, pages 179–183)
that your customers do. Memos require the same care and should follow the same
rules of effective writing, outlined in Chapter 2, as letters do.

Strategies for Organizing a Memo
Don’t just dash your memo off. Take a few minutes to outline and draft what you
need to say and to decide in what order it needs to be presented. Organize your
memos so that readers can find information quickly and act on it promptly. For
longer, more complex communications, such as the memos in Figures 4.2 and 4.3,

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your message might be divided into three parts: (1) introduction, (2) discussion, and
(3) conclusion. Regardless of how short or long your memo is, recall the three P’s
for success: plan what you are going to say; polish your writing before you send it;
and proofread everything.

Introduction
The introduction of your memo should do the following:

■ Tell readers clearly about the problem, procedure, question, or policy that
prompted you to write.

■ Explain briefly any background information the reader needs to know.
■ Be specific about what you are going to accomplish in your memo.

Do not hesitate to come right out and say, “This memo explains new email security
procedures” or “This memo summarizes the action taken in Evansville to reduce air
pollution.” See how clearly this is done in Figure 4.1.

Discussion
In the discussion section (the body) of your memo, help readers in these ways:

■ State why a problem or procedure is important, who will be affected by it,
and what caused it and why.

■ Indicate why and what changes are necessary.
■ Give precise dates, times, locations, and costs.

See how Janet Hempstead’s memo in Figure 4.2 carefully describes an existing prob-
lem and explains the proper procedure for cleaning the brake machines, and how
Mike Gonzalez in Figure 4.3 offers carefully researched evidence on how Ramco
can increase its favorable publicity in the community.

Conclusion
In your conclusion, state specifically how you want the reader to respond to your
memo. To get readers to act appropriately, you can do one or more of the following:

■ Ask readers to call you if they have any questions, as in Figure 4.2.
■ Request a reply—in writing, over the telephone, via email, or in person—by

a specific date, as in Figure 4.3.
■ Provide a list of recommendations that the readers are to accept, revise, or

reject, as in Figures 4.1 and 4.3.

Organizational Markers
Throughout your memo, use the following organizational markers, where
appropriate:

■ Headings organize your work and make information easy for readers to
follow, as in Figure 4.3.

■ Numbered or bulleted lists help readers see comparisons and contrasts
readily and thereby comprehend your ideas more quickly, as in Figure 4.1.

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■ Underlining or boldfacing emphasizes key points (see Figure 4.2). Do not
overuse this technique; draw attention only to main points and those that
contain summaries or draw conclusions.

Organizational markers are not limited to memos; you will find them in email, let-
ters, reports, and proposals as well. (See Chapter 11, pages 517–522.)

Sending Memos: Email or Hard Copy?
A memo can be sent as a printed hard copy, as an email, or as a scanned email at-
tachment. Find out your company’s policy. Increasingly, email is replacing printed
memos, but there are times when a hard-copy memo is preferred.

Consider the level of importance and confidentiality of your memo. If your
memo is an official document, such as the policy outlined in Figure 4.2, you may
not want to send it via email, because it could easily be deleted or altered. More-
over, if your memo is confidential (e.g., an evaluation of a co-worker or vendor, or
a message containing sensitive financial or medical information), you may not want
to send it via email, because it could easily be forwarded or fall victim to hackers.
But if you are sending a routine message that must reach readers quickly, use email.

Sending Faxes: Some Guidelines
Even though business documents are commonly sent via email, faxes are still used
in the world of work. A fax (facsimile) is an original document copied and transmit-
ted over telephone or computer lines. Faxes are particularly helpful either when

Scanning a Document

The process of scanning a document involves taking a hard copy of text or an image
and digitizing (i.e., capturing) it to a format that a computer can recognize and use. The
basic principle of a scanner is to pass a beam of light over the image, analyze it, and then
convert it to digital format in either color or black and white. This image and text cap-
ture (optical character recognition, or OCR) allow you to save hard-copy information to a
“soft copy” fi le on your computer. You can then alter text or enhance the image, email it,
print it out, or use it on your webpage. Scanned documents save time, money, and space.
Because of the ineffi ciencies inherent in the time-sensitive sharing, fi ling, storage, and
retrieval of paper documents, businesses are routinely converting all their paper fi les into
digital information that can be edited. This is true for documents such as medical records,
contracts, proposals, manuscripts, reports—anything that is now in paper form. Once a
document has been scanned, it can be accessed for printing and/or emailing with the
click of a button. On your computer, you need software—called a driver—that knows
how to communicate with the scanner. Scanners can actually look like a printer, and many
printers can both scan and print documents.

Tech Note

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you have only hard copy to send or when you want to send an original signed let-
ter, contract, blueprint, artwork, or other document that you could not send via an
email transmission. Faxes demonstrate exactly what original documents look like
and allow recipients to obtain a hard copy quickly.

Cover Page
When you send a fax, make sure your cover page includes the following information:

1. The name of the sender and his or her fax and phone numbers. The phone
number is important because it enables the recipient to report an incomplete
transmission.

2. The name of the recipient and his or her fax and phone number. The recipi-
ent’s correct fax and phone numbers should be included to ensure delivery of
the message.

3. The total number of pages being faxed. Note that the total number of pages
includes the cover page itself.

4. A brief explanatory note that lets the recipient know what the fax is, what
its purpose is, and how and when to respond to it.

Sending a Document
Follow these four guidelines to fax a clear and complete document:

1. Make sure the original documents you send are clear. An unclear faxed docu-
ment will be difficult for the recipient to read. For example, penciled comments
may be too faint to fax clearly.

2. Avoid writing on the top, bottom, or edges of the documents to be faxed.
Any comments written on the outer edges may be cut off or blurred during
transmittal.

3. Do not send overly long faxes. Be careful about sending anything longer than
three or four pages because you will tie up both your own and the recipient’s
fax machines.

4. Respect the recipient’s confidentiality. Because faxes may be picked up by
other employees in your office, don’t assume your message will be confidential
unless, of course, the recipient has a private fax machine.

Email: Its Importance in the Workplace
Email continues to be one of the most common forms of communication in the
workplace. It is the lifeblood of every business or organization because it expedites
communication within a firm as well as outside it. On their PCs, notebooks, or
mobile devices, professionals in the world of work may receive between forty and
one hundred emails each day from supervisors, co-workers, clients, and vendors
worldwide. Email allows you to send short messages about routine matters that
make business function smoothly.

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Using an email program, you can expedite workplace communication in many ways:

■ Send and receive information quickly; delete it, forward it, or archive it
■ Organize your correspondence in folders according to date, sender, or subject
■ Identify and delete spam
■ Send attachments, including documents, visuals, audio clips, tables, lists, and

statistical files
■ Enhance all phases of your collaborative work (see Chapter 3)
■ Keep track of appointments
■ Set up your business calendar and even share it with colleagues
■ Communicate anytime, all the time, 24/7

Email is an informal, relaxed type of business correspondence, far more infor-
mal than a printed memo, letter, short report, or proposal, though it is more com-
plex than instant messaging (see pages 150–152). Think of your workplace email
as a polite, informative, and professional conversation. It should always be to the
point and accessible, as in Figure 4.4. Yet even though business email is a way of

Hi, Marge,

At last the Hinson-Davis Company received its order, and they are very pleased
with our service. Victor Arana, their district manager, just called me to say the
order came in at 9:00 a.m. and by 9:15 it was up on their system.

I am going to send Arana a thank-you letter today to keep up the goodwill.

Things could not have gone smoother. Congrats to all.

Thanks,

Ali Fatoul
Vice President, Sales
Craftworks

Voice: 856-555-1782
FAX: 856-555-2341
www.craftworks.com

Arial 10

Status of Hinson-Davis Order

FIGURE 4.4 An Email Sent to a Co-worker

Gives all
necessary
details
concisely

Header
contains all
necessary
information

Indicates
follow-up

Uses informal
yet professional
tone

Gives contact
info

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communicating, this does not mean you can forget about your responsibilities as a
courteous and ethical employee, co-worker, and writer. Figure 4.5 exemplifies an
email used to communicate diplomatically with a collaborative team.

Business Email versus Personal Email
The email you write on the job will require more effort than your personal email
will. Don’t assume you can write to your employer or a customer the way you
would an old friend. In the world of work, you don’t just dash off an email. You

Hello, Team:

To follow up on our conversation yesterday regarding working on this year’s
annual report, I’m glad our schedules are flexible. I’ve checked our calendars, and
we are all available next Tuesday the 21st at 10:30 a.m. Let’s meet in Conference
Room 410.

Don’t forget we have to draft a two- to three-page overview first that explains New
Tech’s strategic technology objectives for fiscal year 2013. Not an easy
assignment, but we can do it, gang.

It would be a big help if Annulla would bring copies of the reports for the last three
years. Would Peter please call Ms. Jhandez in Engineering for a copy of the talk
she gave last month to the Powell Chamber of Commerce? If memory serves me
correctly, she did a first-rate job summarizing NewTech’s accomplishments for
2011.

Thanks for all your splendid work, team. See you Tuesday.

Melinda Bell
Director, Marketing
New Tech

FAX: (603) 555-2162
Voice: (603) 555-1505
www.newtech.com

Arial 10

, ,
@newtech.com>,

Follow-up on collaboration on writing the annual report

FIGURE 4.5 Email Sent to a Distribution List of Co-workers

Starts with
context for and
confirmation of
meeting

Precise subject
line

Provides clear
explanations
and instructions

Requests
information
politely

Ends by
building
morale

Provides
contact
information

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Email: Its Importance in the Workplace 145

have to revise and review it before you click and send it. That means proofreading
carefully and following all the rules of proper spelling (avoid text-message spell-
ings), punctuation, capitalization, and word choice, as well as the email guidelines
on pages 145–149. The tone of your business email should also be much more pro-
fessional than the instant messaging you may do with friends or the e-conversations
you have in chat rooms.

Unlike with your personal email, you need to consider the impact your
business email will have on your company and on your career. When you send a
business email, you are representing more than yourself and your preferences, as
in a personal email. You are speaking on behalf of your employer. Because your
email must reflect your company’s best image, make sure it is businesslike, carefully
researched, and polite. Sarcasm, slang, an aggressive tone, name-calling, and
inappropriate clip art do not belong in a company email. As we saw, Figures 4.4 and
4.5 illustrate effectively written business email. Notice that these emails are cordial
without being unprofessional.

Emails Are Legal Records
Employers own their internal email systems and thus have the right to monitor
what you write and to whom (see pages 29–32). Any email written at work on the
company’s server can be copied, archived, forwarded, and, most significantly, in-
tercepted. You can be fired for writing an angry or abusive email. Keep in mind
that your email can easily be converted into an electronic paper trail. You never
know who will receive and then forward your email—to your boss, a co-worker,
a customer, an attorney, or a licensing board. Many companies include disclaimers
protecting themselves from legal action because of an employee’s offensive behav-
ior in a company email. In court, an email can carry the same weight as a printed
hard copy.

Here are some helpful rules to follow when using your company’s email:

■ Do not use it for your personal messages. Send emails only for ap-
propriate company business, and make sure you are professional and
conscientious.

■ Never write an email to discuss a confidential subject—a raise, a grievance, or
a complaint about a co-worker. Meet with your supervisor in person.

■ Make sure of your facts before sending an email to customers. If it gives them
wrong or misleading information about prices, warranties, or safety features,
your company can be legally liable.

■ Be careful not to expose your company server to security risks by respond-
ing to spam.

Guidelines for Using Email on the Job
When you prepare and organize your email message, always consider your reader’s
specific needs as well as those of your company. Following the guidelines below
will help you to write effective business emails.

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146 CHAPTER 4 Writing Routine Business Correspondence

1. Make sure your email is confidential and ethical.

■ Avoid flaming, that is, using strong, angry language that mocks, attacks, or
insults your employer, a colleague, a customer, a government agency, or a
company, as in Figure 4.6 (see page 148). Abusive, obscene, or racially or
culturally offensive language in an email constitutes grounds for dismissal.

■ Send nothing through email that you would not want to see on your com-
pany’s website or on the front page of a local newspaper.

■ Do not forward a co-worker’s or an employer’s email without that person’s
approval.

■ Do not change the wording of a message that you are expected to read and forward.
■ Never send an objectionable photo or file.
■ Respect your company’s chain of command (see page 136) by going through

proper channels. There is no need to copy management (e.g., the CEO or the
head of Human Resources) unless these individuals are directly involved in
the communication. Always consult your immediate supervisor about who
should be copied on emails.

2. Make your email easy to read.

■ Provide a clear, precise subject line. Your subject line states the purpose
of your message and determines whether the reader will even look at your
email. Avoid one-word subjects like “Report” or “Meeting.” Instead, write
“Meeting to boost declining April sales.” A subject line like “Bill” leaves
readers wondering if your email is about a person or an unpaid account.

■ Try to limit your emails to one screen. Longer messages are better sent in an
attachment rather than in the body of an email.

■ Do not send emails written in all capital or all lowercase letters. All capital
letters look as if you are shouting. Conversely, emails in all lowercase imply
you do not know how to capitalize.

■ Break your message into short paragraphs. A screen filled with one dense
block of text is intimidating. Make each paragraph no more than three to
four lines long and always double-space between paragraphs. Do not indent
your paragraphs.

■ Provide URLs for all websites you reference. Do not make your reader
look them up.

■ Use plain text. Because different email programs can garble your message,
avoid overusing typefaces like italic, script, or decorative fonts, or complex
formatting (such as long numbered and bulleted lists), and symbols (mon-
etary, accents, etc.) within the body of an email.

■ Avoid long strings of emails. Delete strings of previously answered emails
when you reply.

3. Observe the rules of “netiquette” (Internet ! etiquette).

■ Respond promptly to an email. Don’t let emails pile up in your in-box.
Check for new messages several times each day. If you will be offline for an
extended period, use the auto-reply feature to tell those who email you when
you expect to return.

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■ Give your readers reasonable time to respond. Consider time zone differ-
ences between you and your reader. It may be 2:00 a.m. when your email
arrives for an international recipient.

■ Do not keep sending the same email over and over. This is discourteous
and will only antagonize your recipient.

■ Avoid unfamiliar abbreviations, jargon, and emoticons. Don’t use abbrevi-
ations common in personal emails (BTW, LOL) or that are used in text mes-
saging. Include only those abbreviations and jargon that your recipients will
understand (e.g., FYI). Also, do not use emoticons (smiley faces, sad faces,
etc.) in your professional communications.

■ Don’t use red flag words unnecessarily. Stay away from words like “Urgent,”
“Crucial,” or “Top Priority,” along with accompanying red exclamation
marks, in your subject line just to get your reader’s attention. Your tactic will
backfire, potentially upsetting readers or, worse yet, causing them to ignore
any genuinely urgent messages you may send in the future.

■ Include a signature block. A signature block, found at the end of your mes-
sage, includes your name, title, and contact information (see Figures 4.4 and
4.5). Make it easy for others to contact you. Such information is crucial when
you are part of a large organization or when you are communicating with
someone outside of your company or agency.

4. Adopt a professional business style.

■ Use a salutation (greeting), but always follow your company’s policy. Use
a comma before the party’s name in a direct address.
— to a colleague—Hi, Hello
— to a customer—Dear Ms. Pietz, Dear Bio Tech

■ Get to the point right away. Because readers receive a lot of email, they may
look only at the first few lines you write. Start by briefly reminding read-
ers why you are writing. Fill in the background that explains the purpose of
your message.

■ Keep your message concise. Cut wordy phrases, and send only the informa-
tion your reader needs. Exclude unnecessary details and chatter.

■ Don’t turn your email into a telegram. “Send report immediately; need for
meeting” is rude, as is a reply only with “Yes,” “No,” or “Sure.” Save words
like “Nope,” “Yeah,” and “Huh” for your personal emails.

■ End politely. Let readers know in your last sentence that you appreciate
their help or cooperation and look forward to their reply (see Figure 4.5).

■ Use a complimentary close, but always follow your company’s policy.
— to a colleague—Thanks, Later, Take care,
— to a customer—Sincerely yours, Sincerely, Best regards,

■ Proofread and spell-check your email before you send it.

5. Respect your international readers.

■ Use international English (see pages 9–11), which calls for short sentences,
common words, and so on.

■ Avoid using abbreviations, symbols, or measurements your reader may not know.

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148 CHAPTER 4 Writing Routine Business Correspondence

■ Respect your reader’s cultural traditions. For example, do not use first names
unless the reader approves. Some cultures (East Asian, for instance) regard
the use of abbreviations as discourteous.

■ Always spell your reader’s name, address, and country correctly, including
the use of hyphens, accents, and capital letters.

6. Ensure that your email is safe and secure.

■ Use email protection services and software. Always consult with your
company’s information technology (IT) department.

■ Avoid contracting email viruses by deleting unopened, unsolicited email

attachments.

■ Don’t be a victim of identity theft, or “phishing.” Companies you do busi-
ness with will never ask for personal information, such as your bank account
or Social Security number.

■ Never provide company financial information unless you are sure that it
will be relayed over a safe connection. Always check with your boss before
providing such information.

■ Create an email password that is not easy to guess. Do not use a password
such as “ABCDE” or “123456.” Change your password regularly, and do
not use the same password for all your accounts.

HEY GUYS————

ARE YOU AWAKE OUT THERE? THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I HAVE SENT THIS
MESSAGE. AND I NEED YOU TO GET BACK TO ME STAT. MY BOSS IS ON
MY BACK. : P

I NEED THE UPGRADES YOUR SALES FOLKS–ROBERT T., JAN W., AND
GRAF H.–PROMISED BUT NEVER MADE GOOD ON.

FWIW YOU HAVE MISSED THE BOAT.

SAMMY

Arial 10

Upgrades

FIGURE 4.6 A Poorly Written Email Guilty of Flaming

All caps are
perceived as
shouting
Insufficient
information
Unclear
abbreviation,
unprofessional
emoticon
No signature
block

Unprofessional
greeting

Discourteous
tone, flaming

Vague subject
line

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■ Back up important files, including emails. Save your most important and
current files in case your computer contracts a virus or crashes.

Figure 4.6 shows an example of a poorly written email that violates many
of the preceding guidelines. Figure 4.7 contains an effective revision that re-
flects the professional and courteous way the writer and his company conduct
business.

Hello, Mary:

I would appreciate your delivering the upgrades for our service contract #4552 by
Thursday afternoon, the 15th of November, if at all possible.

We need to proceed to the next phase of our operation, and the upgrades are
crucial to that task.

I am attaching a copy of our service agreement with Wide Door for your
convenience.

If you run into any problems with the delivery date, please give me a call this
afternoon or email me.

Thanks,

Sammy

Samuel Atherton
Operations Assistant
Data Port, Inc.
4300 Morales Highway
San Padre, CA 95620-0326
Voicemail: 723-555-1298
http://dataport.com

Arial 10

Providing upgrades for service contract #4552
Service agreement

FIGURE 4.7 A Revised, Effective Version of the Poorly Written Email in Figure 4.6

Uses email
address of
specific person

Precise subject

Polite
salutation

Gets to the point
concisely but
diplomatically

Provides
explanation
and
documentation

Ends with
clear-cut
directions

Professional
close

Includes
signature block

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150 CHAPTER 4 Writing Routine Business Correspondence

When Not to Use Email
Although email is convenient, easy to use, and appropriate for the routine business
correspondence we have been discussing, be careful not to use it in the following
situations:

■ When you need a paper trail, send a printed memo or letter, whichever is
most appropriate.

■ Send a formal letter rather than an email when you apply for a job and for
any follow-up communication.

■ When you make a new business contact or welcome a new client, write a
formal letter, not an email. International readers, in particular, will expect
this.

■ Always acknowledge a business gift or courtesy by sending a handwritten
thank-you note or formal letter rather than dashing off an email.

■ Never send an email in place of a letter for any type of legal notification or
financial statement.

Instant Messages (IMs) for Business Use
IMs are textual conversations that take place online and in real time. They should
not be confused with cell phone text messages, which occur in a different environ-
ment. Think of IMs as somewhere between a phone call and an email, or a chat with
a colleague in the hallway of your office. IM conversations are almost as instanta-
neous as phone conversations, but at the same time they provide written records of
communications like emails do. Keep in mind, though, that IMs are not just used
for communication with your friends; they are also a vital part of workplace cor-
respondence. In fact, researchers estimate that 90 percent of all businesses have used
or will use IMs for routine workplace correspondence.

Exchanges through IM reflect the way people in the world of work connect
and communicate with one another. IMs allow you to communicate with co-
workers and managers in the same office, at remote sites, or around the globe.
Crossing time zones, IMs give you access to anyone around the world who is
online and connected to the same service. Figure 4.8 is an example of a workplace
IM conversation.

When to Use IMs versus Emails
Like emails, IMs promote collaboration, provide a written record, and further
global communication. But they are used for very different kinds of messages.
Emails are more detailed than IMs. By answering the following questions, you will
be better able to determine when to send an IM or an email:

1. How quickly does my message need to be answered? If you need information
right away, use IM rather than an email because recipients will most likely reply
at once if they are online.

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Danielle21 Menu

Sanjitman 9:15 AM
So am I; let’s talk.

Type:

IM Danielle21

i
Danielle21 10:01 AM
I just emailed my revision–OK or not?

Sanjitman 10:19 AM
Looks good, but not enough detail on the cost of implementation.

Danielle21 10:24 AM
I’ll take another stab at it later today.

Sanjitman 10:31 AM
FYI, I’ll fax you a copy of a similar short report so you have an idea of
what they’re looking for.

Danielle21 10:34 AM
Got it!

Sanjitman 10:49 AM
Let’s confer after you’ve had a chance to read it over.

Danielle21 1:10 PM
I’ve just read the report. Do you have the latest figures
on the expected implementation costs? Mine are from last quarter.

Sanjitman 1:18 PM
I don’t have them either, but let me call Florence Ng; she should have them.

Danielle21 1:36 AM
Got the cost figures, thanks. Great! They’re just what we need.

Sanjitman 1:25 PM
Florence said she’d send you the latest cost figures in an email.

Danielle21 9:14 AM
I’m working on the second draft of the environmental impact report today.

FIGURE 4.8 An IM Exchange Between Co-workers

IM user names
are informal
but appropriate

Messages are
kept to 1–2 lines
each

Message
exchange sticks
to a single topic

Clear language
avoids “text
speak”

Time stamp
accompanies
each message

Style is informal
but polite

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2. How long or complex is my message? If you need to transmit a message that
is, say, more than a line or two or that contains multiple points, send an email.
Using IM, you can also instantly send attachments for immediate discussion.

3. If your message requires more time than a few brief back-and-forth communi-
cations, start an email exchange that can extend over several hours or days.

4. Do not use IMs for client or customer communications.

Guidelines for Using IMs in the Workplace
IMs may be instantaneous and informal, but that does not mean that you can send
them with little thought about their content, tone, and punctuation. Again, keep in
mind that your company can monitor, trace, record, and archive your IM conversa-
tions just as it can with emails. In addition to the guidelines for writing workplace
emails (pages 145–149), observe these rules for your IMs:

1. Stay connected. As much as possible, schedule your conversations ahead of
time. Always indicate your messenger status—“Away,” “Busy,” “Offline.
Please email me at tjones@comcast.com.” If you are away, tell those on your
buddy list (contact list) when you will be back (“Back in 30 minutes”), or give
them alternate contact information like your email address.

2. Keep your messages short. Get to the point right away. A line or two at most
is enough for your IMs. Don’t inject unnecessary pleasantries; for example,
“How was your weekend?”

3. Write about one topic at a time. Don’t include information about two or three
different topics in one IM exchange. Keep the conversation flowing in one di-
rection, not two or three.

4. Avoid unfamiliar abbreviations. As in an email, commonly understood ab-
breviations such as “FYI” or “ASAP” are fine—even encouraged—in IMs. But
avoid “textspeak” abbreviations such as “CUL8R” for “See you later,” espe-
cially when writing to an international reader who may not understand them.
Moreover, your boss might not appreciate a textspeak message such as “np gtg
ttyl” for “No problem. Got to go. Talk to you later.”

5. Make sure the tone and style of your message are professional. Even though
IMs are the most informal business messages you can send, don’t disregard pro-
fessional courtesy and ethics. Never send personal messages, tell jokes, spread
office gossip, or attack a co-worker or boss in an IM. Also, choose an appropri-
ate, professional online name, not “Go-Getter Pete.”

6. Organize your contact (buddy) lists into separate groups, such as business,
co-workers, friends/family, and so on, so you do not embarrassingly send
someone the wrong message.

7. Don’t prolong an IM just to chat. When you have finished your conversation,
say goodbye.

8. Don’t use IMs to send sensitive/confidential information about personnel,
financial, hiring, or medical/legal issues.

9. Watch for viruses. Be careful about sharing files or opening attachments via IMs.
10. Safeguard the privacy of your contact lists as well as the contents of any IM

attachments.

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Blogs
Like emails and IMs, blogs (Web ! logs) are important correspondence tools for
employees, managers, and customers. Think of a blog as an evolving website, or a
daily newspaper for which managers and employees write regular short articles, or
posts. Blogposts are short, conversational articles giving readers current and rele-
vant news and commentary on a variety of issues of vital concern to your company,
your organization, and your profession. Each blogpost reveals the distinctive voice
of its author. Posts are generally a few paragraphs long and are often written two to
three times a week, although some bloggers post their work more frequently, some-
times daily. Written in chronological order, blogs are dated, titled, and frequently
archived. Figures 4.9, 4.10, and 4.11 illustrate a range of blogs.

Blogs Are Interactive
Although less formal than an article in a journal or magazine, a blog is more than
just a casual entry in an online diary about the world of work. It includes more than
the blogger’s views. Blogs are highly interactive, allowing for a two-way or often
group conversation between the author and his or her online audience. Bloggers
write to express their views and to receive feedback about them. In the blogosphere,
readers write comments in response to blog posts, and the blogger and other read-
ers can reply. This interaction is the key to a blog’s success. In fact, bloggers often
post the number of visitors who have left comments at the site. The more posts, the
better. Bloggers, therefore, need to

1. attract readers,
2. build relationships,
3. promote and market products or services, and
4. respond to suggestions.

Blog Sponsors
Blogs carry different types of messages, depending on who sponsors them and
why. Individuals can host their own blogs to express their opinions on any subject,
from world affairs to their interests, hobbies, careers, or families. Organizations
host blogs, too. For instance, the Sierra Club, which is devoted to preserving the
environment, has blogged on such topics as protecting endangered species, pro-
moting funding of nature trails, and buying eco-friendly furniture. Almost every
government agency has its own blog, or multiple blogs. The FDA, for instance,
uses its blogs to keep consumers up to date about potential health risks, such as an
outbreak of influenza or the spread of botulism from contaminated meat or dairy
products. And every type of business, from major international corporations to
small, local firms, blogs about its products, services, workforce, and commitment
to customers and community. It is impossible to estimate the number of blogs in
the blogosphere. But one thing is sure. Your employer will at some point ask you
to blog about a work-related activity. The following sections will show you how to
do that successfully.

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Topic: New antivirus software
(comments: 6)

Hong, McCarson, and Steinway, LLC

Topic: Importing HMS logo into memos, letters, etc.
(comments: 7)

Topic: Using the new binding machines
10/5/12, 10:43 a.m. (mschwartz): Hi, this is Maxine in IT. Congratulations to those of you
who have completed our training workshops on the new binding equipment, and I look
forward to working with individuals in the marketing and facilities departments, who are
scheduled for a session next week.

Overall, I think the sessions have gone well. However, a number of questions have come up
about the new binding machines, and so I thought the best thing to do would be to post the
most frequently asked ones here, with answers:

1. Why are the binding machines located only on the 6th floor? We’re just waiting for
three additional machines to arrive from the supplier within the next two weeks. We will put
two of the new machines in the 5th floor copy room (5-204) for legal services and one in the
3rd floor copy room (3-122) for marketing and facilities.

2. Where are the supplies for the binding machines located? You can find the supplies in
each of three copy rooms. IT would like to apologize about the shelf locations not being
more clearly labeled. We fixed that problem. Thanks for letting us know about it. Also, to help
our employees, IT has posted a detailed sheet for supplies and procedures on each copy
room door.

3. Why can’t I get the laminated insert pages to line up properly? Here’s a tip to help you
with this one: Make sure that the rounded edges of the inserts are facing out and that the
squared edges are lined up with the inside edges of the paper. That should help.

4. How do I avoid damaging legal documents when using the machines? To be on the
safe side, insert a few pages of scrap paper into the machine and do a test bind before
inserting original documents. You’ll then be sure that the machine is aligned properly.

I hope these answers help everyone out. If you have further comments or questions, please
don’t hesitate to email me or call me at Extension 304.
(comments: 14)

Topic: What is the company policy on maternity/paternity leaves?
(comments: 7)

Topic: PowerPoint presentations — is there a specialist in-house
to help?
(comments: 3)

FIGURE 4.9 An Internal Blog

Blog topics
clearly
differentiated

Uses clear and
concise title

Chooses an
informal yet
professional
tone

Keeps the blog
post brief and
chunks text

Lets readers
know IT is
responsive to
their needs

Tone is
conversational
but professional

Offers practical
help for
employees

Invites further
responses

“Comments“
link allows
for further
discussion

Acknowledge
responses to
blog

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Two Types of Blogs
Blogs can be either internal or external, depending on their audience and use in the
workplace.

Internal Blogs
Internal blogs are among the most versatile forms of workplace correspondence.
They are designed exclusively for use by in-house management (up and down the
corporate ladder) and by employees to post their messages and comments or ques-
tions on the company network. Many internal blogs are intended for a company-
wide audience, for example, announcing an event or a new workplace policy, such
as further greening the workplace. But some internal blogging is directed only to
individuals in a given department or area, such as engineers tackling an energy
problem or nurses in a large health care organization discussing new treatments for
burn patients. Every internal blog, though, is aimed at making the workplace safer,
more productive, and professionally and personally more satisfying.

Internal blogging serves many functions, including these:

■ Informing employees about vital company news
■ Helping employees to better understand and perform their jobs
■ Conducting virtual meetings without having to make arrangements for face-

to-face gatherings
■ Enhancing collaboration through the interaction of blog posts and comments
■ Providing a forum for workplace discussions
■ Improving employee participation and morale by inviting suggestions and

questions

Note how the internal blog in Figure 4.9 fulfills many of these functions.
Always follow your company’s blogging policies, but be especially careful that

you do not divulge information that may be confidential or sensitive. Your em-
ployer will expect you to observe the same guidelines whether posting your own
blogs or commenting on others’ (see pages 158–160). What you say on your own
blog can reflect positively or negatively on your employer. Finally, don’t let internal
blogging take up so much of your time that you neglect your other duties.

External Blogs
External, or business, blogs are essential marketing and public relations tools in the
world of e-commerce. They provide a fast, informal way to get information out
about a company’s mission and activities, as in Figures 4.10 (see pages 156–157) and
4.11 (see pages 161–162). A carefully designed and persuasively written business
blog can announce and sell new products, services, or technology; share informa-
tion about employee accomplishments; and describe the company’s contributions
to the community or the environment, as in Figure 4.10. It can provide updates
about corporate changes in personnel, locations, benefits, and so on. Moreover, a
business blog can be useful in announcing unpleasant news, such as environmental
problems, product recalls, or the discontinuation of a service, brand, or model, as in
Figure 4.11. An external blog allows companies to tell their side of the story—their
interpretation of events and their clarification of the issues—quickly and publicly.

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Get to Know Your Tilapia
by Carrie Brownstein, January 4th, 2011 I Permalink I Email this

Unlike conventional grocers who may source tilapia from any old place as long as
the price is right, Whole Foods Market sources all seafood, including tilapia,
according to our Quality Standards. In the case of tilapia, we source from just three
supplier partners, all of whom have passed a third-party audit to ensure that they
meet our rigorous quality standards.

Our primary supplier partner, Tropical Aquaculture Inc., brings us tilapia from Santa
Priscila, located in beautiful Ecuador. Santa Priscila practices polyculture by raising
shrimp and tilapia together in the same ponds. This helps reduce waste and water
pollution, as tilapia consume feed that the shrimp leave behind and help get rid of

organic matter that otherwise could end up in the environment. The farm also recirculates its water, which
further helps to protect water quality surrounding the farm.

And you’ll be glad to know that our Quality Standards for Aquaculture prohibit the common industry
practice of using the hormone methyl testosterone to reverse the sex of tilapia. Conventional tilapia
producers prefer to raise only male fish so that the fish put their energy into growth rather than reproduction
and grow to a larger, more marketable size. Our farmer partners, however, grow fish the old fashioned way:
they let the fish reproduce naturally. Then they separate the males and females by hand and raise them in
separate ponds.

And as always, Whole Foods Market prohibits slaughterhouse by-products from avian or mammalian
species in feed. Fortunately, tilapia are naturally omnivorous fish that don’t require a lot of fishmeal in their
feed, which helps our tilapia suppliers meet our goal of reducing pressure on wild populations of fish that
are used to produce animal feed, but are also important species in marine food webs. In fact, Santa
Priscila’s feed (as well as other supplier partners’ feed), uses trimmings from other fish species processed
for seafood, which also reduces wastes.

We launched our Quality Standards for Aquaculture in 2008 and they still remain the toughest quality
standards for farmed seafood in the industry. Fish farmers who want to partner with us must complete a
lengthy application detailing all of their farming practices. And it’s more than just words; third-party auditors
verify that the farm is meeting our standards before any of their fish makes its way to our stores. Not only
that, but suppliers must continue to pass annual inspections for as long as they partner with us.

So, how do you know you’re purchasing farmed seafood that meets Whole Foods Market’s
strict standards? Look for our aquaculture logo — Responsibly Farmed — at Whole Foods
Market stores. That symbol means that the fish has been third-party verified to meet our
standards.

WFM HOME STORES PRODUCTS RECIPES HEALTH STARTS HERE VALUES COMPANY FORUMS SUBSCRIBE VIS RSS

FIGURE 4.10 An External Blog on Choosing an Eco-Friendly Product

Courtesy of Whole Foods Market. “Whole Foods Market” is a registered trademark of Whole Foods Market IP, L.P.

Convinces
readers right
away about the
safety of the
product

Provides
essential
jargon-free
background
information for
readers

Addresses the
reader directly
but sincerely;
uses a friendly
conversational
tone

Documents the
rigorous
standards
consumers
expect from
Whole Foods

Provides
hyperlink for
easy reference

Includes logo
within blog to
show consum-
ers exactly what
to look for when
purchasing eco-
friendly tilapia

Attention-
grabbing
headline

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FIGURE 4.10

(Continued)

Whole Foods
Market photos
on Flickr

Whole Foods
Market on
Facebook

Whole Foods
Market
updates on
Twitter

CATEGORIES

Back to School (23)

Best Meal of the Week (15)

Cheese (27)

Community – Local and Global (20)

Farm to Market (67)

South (2)

Field Reports (20)

Floral (20)

Food & Recipes (357)

Food Issues (45)

Food Podcasts (68)

Food Safety (11)

Grass-fed Beef (12)

Green Action (115)

Grocery (30)

ON THE WEB VIDEOS & PODCASTS

Audio podcast all about
natural body care and

supplements.

View our growing library
of video content.

8 Responses to “Get to Know Your Tilapia”

Tricia: I just purchased some tilapia at WFM last night
specifically for this reason. I don’t shop at WFM for
everything, but I think it’s important to purchase items
in industries that can be unsafe. The fish was
reasonably priced and tasted great!
January 4th, 2011 at 3:55 pm

dining room table: I have heard of this fish before and
they told me that this is really something so delicious.
January 5th, 2011 at 7:02 am

Lynda Reynolds: Tilapia are a freshwater fish, not
seafood. And how did the prison system in Colorado
go about getting a contract with Whole Foods to sell?
. . . is this something I can start in California or do we
already have the same program?
January 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Sharon Miracle: I commend you for taking these steps
to protect the aquaculture, and for helping protect us
humans from ingesting more unnecessary hormones
which may have negative consequences on our bodies
over time.
January 5th, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Kat: Thank you for this info about tilapia. I just starting
eating it but I did not know that hormones are added to
it by certain suppliers.
January 5th, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Ellie: Most tilapia is grown in such conditions that it is
gross, if not unhealthy, to eat. It is wonderful to hear
yours is worth eating. Thanks!
January 5th, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Ryan: But what are they fed? Most tilapia are fed corn,
resulting in an extremely high omega 6 to omega 3
ratio.
January 8th, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Bev Baker: Just checking to ensure that the tilapia are
not fed GMO corn???
January 10th, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Courtesy of Whole Foods Market. “Whole Foods Market” is a registered trademark of Whole Foods Market IP, L.P.

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Guidelines for Writing Business Blogs
To post a successful blog, follow all the guidelines for writing a business email or
using workplace IM. Always be ethical and honest, and document what you say.
Also, your writing cannot be sloppy or careless; you have to use proper spelling
and punctuation. Be diplomatic, whether you are writing to co-workers, as Maxine
Schwartz does in Figure 4.9, or customers, as the blogs in Figures 4.10 and 4.11 do.
Avoid sounding curt, condescending, or arrogant. Keep in mind, too, that an exter-
nal blog is your employer’s official, and many times daily or weekly, publication, as
we see in Figure 4.10. Your employer may require you to get your post approved
by a blog administrator to make sure it follows corporate rules. The guidelines that
follow will also help you to write appropriate business blog posts.

Use the Right Tone to Attract Readers
Essential to any business blog’s success is getting information from readers—their
views, concerns, and feedback. Whether you are a manager or an employee, your
business blog needs to reveal the personal side of your company. Your blog needs
to sound sincere and friendly, welcoming readers to your site. As we saw, every
blogger’s goal is to attract visitors to his or her site and to keep them coming back
to read more. Using the interactive features of a blog, you can make it easy for read-
ers to contact you. A friendly and inviting tone will let readers know you want to
hear their views and will take them into account. In subsequent posts, you can ad-
dress their views and concerns, as Carrie Brownstein does in Figure 4.10 and Clay
Denton-Tyler does in Figure 4.11.

Follow Company Protocol

■ Project your company’s best image. Keep your company’s history, mission,
and reputation in mind when you prepare your blog. Be enthusiastic about
its products, services, workforce, company mission, and commitment to the
environment. Do not make your company look bad by undermining man-
agement or criticizing a vendor or a competitor. And never attack a boss or
co-worker.

■ Respect your employer’s confidentiality. Guard your company’s trade se-
crets. Do not blog about anything that might reveal confidential, restricted,
or otherwise off-limits information. Topics to stay away from include any
ongoing research and development of products and services, sales and mar-
keting plans, financial matters including stocks, and personnel matters.

■ Avoid making your company liable for false or misleading information.
Don’t make promises, offer guarantees, or provide additional warranties un-
less they have been approved by upper management. Be careful about using
the pronoun we, which implies you are speaking for your employer.

■ Be professional. Avoid posting stories and pictures unrelated to your work
on the company’s blog. Don’t comment on company policies or make politi-
cal comments, all of which may be grounds for dismissal.

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Target Your Audience

■ Know what your audience cares about. Try to reach current and potential
customers by anticipating their questions and needs. Be aware of their atti-
tudes, likes, and dislikes. Read replies to previous blog posts. Be open to sug-
gestions, and acknowledge readers’ insights. Tell readers how and why your
blog will help them.

■ Write an attention-grabbing headline. Attract readers with a title that tells
them how and why they can profit from reading your blog, and encourage
them to respond to your post; for example, “Getting to Know Your
Tilapia” in Figure 4.10 and “A Power Tool Even Better Than the PH-450”
in Figure 4.11. Avoid vague, boring headlines, such as “Important News,”
“Something You Need to Know,” and “Any Further Ideas?”

■ Determine if your blog will attract an international audience as well as
native English speakers (see pages 8–11). To accommodate a global reader-
ship, avoid jargon and unclear abbreviations.

■ Date every blog post so readers can follow a conversation. Update your
blog to make sure the information you give readers is current and accurate.

■ Make it easy for readers to respond to your post. Welcome feedback. Con-
sider your blog a place where you want to listen to readers’ comments. Tell
them where and how to reply. Like the blogs in Figures 4.10 and 4.11, refer
to customer posts to show how concerned you and your company are about
readers’ opinions.

Make Your Blog Persuasive

■ Structure your blog so that your first paragraph comes to the point at
once and tells readers what you are blogging about and why. For example,
in Figure 4.10, Carrie Brownstein reassures readers that Whole Foods still
faithfully follows its tough quality standards for aquaculture. In Figure 4.11,
Clay Denton-Tyler clearly states he has information on “why this product
will no longer be manufactured,” a question his audience is eager to see him
answer.

■ Share your story. Draw from your own experiences. Offer your perspec-
tives. Provide firsthand information that shows readers you are knowledge-
able and sincere. Observe how, in Figure 4.11, Denton-Tyler expresses his
views as an owner of the popular, but discontinued, PH-450 without in any
way compromising his company’s position or decision.

■ Highlight any new, improved, or special features. Note how Denton-Tyler
points to the benefits the new power tool offers customers.

■ Use facts and statistics to develop your message or point of view. Honest
numbers sell products and services. Include units sold, costs, and so on. Note
how Denton-Tyler wisely cites a lower price to promote the new model
SHP-1000.

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Write Concisely and Sincerely

■ Keep your posts short and easy to read. Your blog should be simple and
practical. Most blogs are no more than a few paragraphs. Don’t turn your
blog into a report or a compilation of technical data.

■ Adopt a casual, conversational style. Be personable and friendly. Sound au-
thentic and upbeat. Emphasize your interest in your readers. Regard your
blog as a fruitful chat between you and your readers. Don’t weigh them
down with long, windy paragraphs that can bore or confuse your audience.

Document Your Sources, Including Visuals

■ If you use someone else’s statistics, surveys, illustrations, or ideas, get per-
mission first from the individual or the company that owns the copyright.

■ Quote accurately, but do not include an extended quote without obtaining
permission.

■ Do not use commercial trademarks in place of generic terms, such as Jacuzzi
for hot tub, Clorox for bleach cleaner, Kleenex for facial tissue. But note the
appropriate use of the Whole Foods logo in the blog in Figure 4.10.

Writing a Blog to Keep Customer Goodwill

Clay Denton-Tyler is a district manager for PowerHouse, Inc., a company that sells a large line
of power tools. The company recently decided to discontinue one of its most popular models,
the PH-450, which had enjoyed wide brand recognition and high consumer ratings. Custom-
ers had been blogging Powerhouse to complain about the company’s decision, and Denton-
Tyler faced the diffi cult challenge of responding to customer posts. His blog can be seen in
Figure 4.11.
To respond successfully, he had to consider his audience’s needs, as voiced in their posts to
the PowerHouse blog. Since his readers were loyal customers, he did not want to lose their busi-
ness and goodwill. But he had to acknowledge that they were understandably disappointed
that a well-received product was being taken off the market. He also had to be credible, honest,
and diplomatic in addressing their needs and his company’s response to its customers. Most
important, he had to reassure them that PowerHouse was sincerely interested in their views. He
also had to convince them that the replacement model PowerHouse was off ering was better
and cheaper than the discontinued PH-450.
But in the interactive world of blogging, he recognized that he was also writing to potential
customers, and he wanted them to view his company as being responsive to and driven by
the needs of its customers. Moreover, he realized that his post would be a part of an ongoing
public discussion about the new model and his company, and so he wanted to answer as many
questions as he could while keeping the conversation going—all in a positive direction—and,
ideally, attracting new customers around the globe.

Case Study

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Blogs 161

Today’s Post (August 15, 2012): Recent Posts:

<< Previous Post >> Next Post

>> A Power Tool Even Better than the PH450?
by Clay Denton-Tyler, District Manager

Many of our loyal customers disagree with PowerHouse’s
decision to discontinue manufacturing the PH-450
All-in-One Power Tool. It is always great to hear from our
customers and to receive their feedback, even when they
believe we’ve done something wrong. To help our
customers better understand our perspective, let me fill in
some of the background about why the PH-450 will not
be available anymore.

Discontinuing the PH-450 was not an easy decision. After
all, this was the product that first brought our company to
national attention and widespread customer acceptance.
Also, I know from many complimentary emails and replies
to earlier posts, as well as from my personal experience
as a proud owner of the PH-450, that our customers have
always applauded its price, compact design, durability,
and all-weather usability. As one of you put it, “Why kill a
popular product that has worked so well for 20 years?”

All of these responses are true, but the good news is that
even though the PH-450 is being discontinued, our
customers now have a very similar but improved alterna-
tive. Recently, our parent company, International Dyanam-
ics, SE, acquired a new multipurpose tool from Swiss

International
Dyanamics, SE
CFO announces
retirement.

PowerHouse
announces the
discontinuation of
the PH-450.

PowerHouse opens
new retail outlets in
Sydney, Australia,
and Dunedin, New
Zealand.

International
Dyanamics, SE
acquires quality
Swiss Home
Products company.

PowerHouse goes
international.

Search this site

About Us Products International Jobs Mobile RSS

GoPowerBlog All of Powerhouse, Inc.

PowerBlog

PowerHouse, Inc.

FIGURE 4.11 An External Blog

Search engine
and navigation
links help
readers find
information

Additional
links aid site
navigation

Provides a clear
and concise
title and date

Writes to
a general
audience and
avoids jargon

Thanks
customers for
feedback

Uses a
conversational
but professional
tone

Acknowledges
customers’
disappointment

Attempts to
persuade
customer to
switch to a new
model

(Continued)

to
ck

ph
ot

o.
co

m
/

Pr
ill

M
ed

ie
nd

es
ig

n
&

Fo
to

gr
afi

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162 CHAPTER 4 Writing Routine Business Correspondence

Home Products. The SHP-1000 is not only just as
compact, durable, and weather-friendly as the PH-450,
but it offers several additional features, such as a nail gun
attachment and lifetime limited warranty. And due to an
excellent distribution deal negotiated between Interna-
tional Dyanamics, SE, and Swiss Home Products, we can
sell it at less than 30 percent of the retail cost of the
PH-450.

I know it is hard to say goodbye to a reliable helper, but
like many products in our increasingly technical age, the
PH-450 is being replaced by a more efficient alternative
model. I will miss the old PH-450, but I have found that
the SHP-1000 is even more effective in my shop at home.
Adapting to a new model has never come easier for me.
Why not give it a try? Thanks. I would like to hear from
you.

Comments: (21)
• Sign in to add a

comment

• First time users, please register first, in order to add a

comment

FIGURE 4.11 (Continued)

Conclusion
Writing memos, emails, IMs, and blogs is a routine yet important part of every
employee’s job. Although much shorter and far more informal than reports or
proposals, these basic types of business correspondence keep crucial information
flowing among co-workers, management, vendors, and others, so that a company
can meet its day-to-day obligations. In addition, the information contained in these
short messages often helps you to gather information you need to write longer
documents.

By following the guidelines in this chapter, you will be better able to write
clear, concise, and ethical messages for your audience. To be a successful employee,
always respond promptly and courteously to memos, emails, IMs, and blogs. Your
annual evaluations may in part depend on how well you research, draft, revise, and
format these routine business correspondences.

Describes
benefits of new
model and
why it is being
marketed

Sympathizes
with readers but
offers personal
endorsement
characteristic
of bloggers at
same time

Comments
link allows
for further
discussion

Tone is sincere
and friendly

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Revision Checklist 163

Memos
■■ Used appropriate and consistent format.
■■ Followed employer’s policy of when to send print or email memos.
■■ Announced purpose of memo early and clearly.
■■ Organized memo according to reader’s need for information, putting main

ideas up front, giving documentation, and supplying conclusion.
■■ Wrote concise and clear memo suitable for audience.
■■ Included bullets, lists, boldfacing, and underscoring where necessary to re-

flect logic and organization of memo and make it easier to read.
■■ Determined when to send hard copy or an e-copy of a memo.
■■ Refrained from overloading reader with unnecessary details.

Faxes
■■ Verified reader’s fax number and sent cover sheet with phone number to call

in the event of transmission trouble.
■■ Excluded anything confidential or sensitive if reader’s fax machine is not secure.

Email
■■ Did not send unsolicited or confidential email.
■■ Sent to reader’s correct address.
■■ Formatted email with acceptable margins and spacing.
■■ Observed netiquette; avoided flaming.
■■ Wrote a separate message rather than returning sender’s message with a short reply.
■■ Kept paragraphs short but used full—not telegraphic—sentences.
■■ Avoided unfamiliar abbreviations or terms that would confuse a reader.
■■ Received permission to repeat or incorporate another person’s email.
■■ Observed all legal obligations in using email.
■■ Safeguarded employer’s confidentiality and security by excluding sensitive or

privileged information.
■■ Included enough information and documentation for reader’s purpose.
■■ Honored reader by observing proper courtesy.
■■ Began with friendly greeting; ended politely.
■■ Considered needs of international audience.
■■ Used antivirus program.
■■ Did not forward or reply to spam.

Instant Messaging
■■ Used IM only for professional, job-related communications.
■■ Kept messages short—not over a line or two.
■■ Avoided “textspeak” in business IMs.
■■ Notified readers when IM was offline and back online.
■■ Did not send anything confidential through an IM exchange.

Revision Checklist✓

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Blogs
■■ Posted nothing critical of employer or co-workers and nothing embarrassing,

offensive, or confidential.
■■ Made posts conversational and informal, yet professional.
■■ Dated every blog.
■■ Targeted my audience.
■■ Included attention-grabbing headline.
■■ Posted only current and relevant information.
■■ Provided a place for readers to give feedback.

Exercises
1. Write a memo to your boss saying that you will be out of town two days next

week and three days the following week for one of the following reasons: (a) to
inspect some land your firm is thinking of buying, (b) to investigate some claims,
(c) to look at some new office space for a branch your firm is thinking of opening
in a city five hundred miles away, (d) to attend a conference sponsored by a pro-
fessional society, or (e) to pay calls on customers. In your memo, be specific about
dates, places, times, and reasons.

2. Write a memo to two or three of your co-workers on the same subject you chose
for Exercise 1.

3. Send a memo informing the public relations department of your company that
you are completing a degree or a certificate program. Indicate how the informa-
tion could be useful for your firm’s publicity campaign.

4. Write a memo notifying the human resources department that there is a mistake
in an insurance claim you filed. Explain exactly what the error is, and give precise
figures.

5. You are the manager of a major art museum. Write a memo to various depart-
ment heads at your museum giving them the following information. Use proper
memo format.

Old hours: Mon.–Fri. 9–5; closed Sat. except during July and August, when you are
open 9–12

New hours: Mon.–Th. 8:30–4:30; Fri.–Sat. 9–9
Old rates: Adults $12.00; senior citizens $5.00; children under 12 $3.00
New rates: Adults $15.00; senior citizens $7.00; children under 12 $5.00
Added features: Paintings by Thora Horne, local artist; sculpture from West Indies in dis-

play area all summer; guided tours available for parties of six or more;
lounge areas will offer patrons sandwiches and soft drinks during May,
June, July, and August

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Exercises 165

6. Select some change (in policy, schedule, or personnel assignment) you encoun-
tered in a job you held in the last two or three years, and write an appropriate
memo describing that change. Write the memo from the perspective of your cur-
rent or former employer to explain the change to employees.

7. How would the memos in Exercises 1 to 6 have to be rewritten to make them suit-
able as an email message? Rewrite one of them as an email.

8. Bring five or six examples of a company’s or an organization’s email to class. As a
group activity, evaluate them for professional style, tone, layout, and preciseness
of message. Write a carefully organized email to your instructor evaluating the
effectiveness of these emails. Include the sample emails as an attachment with
your report.

9. Send a fax to a company or an organization requesting information about the
products or services it offers. Include an appropriate cover sheet.

10. Write an email requesting information from one of the following types of busi-
nesses. Submit a copy of your email request, along with the response, to your
instructor.
a. From an airline: an up-to-date schedule along a certain route and informa-

tion about any bonus-mile or discount programs
b. From a catalog order company: information about any specials for Internet

users
c. From a stock brokerage firm: free quotes or research about a particular stock
d. From a resort: special rates for a given week
e. From a professional organization to which you belong about any confer-

ences to be held in your city or state

11. Write an email with one of the following messages, observing the guidelines dis-
cussed in this chapter.
a. You have just made a big sale, and you want to inform your boss.
b. You have just lost a big sale, and you have to inform your boss.
c. Tell a co-worker about a union or national sales meeting.
d. Notify a company to cancel your subscription to one of its publications be-

cause you find it to be dated and no longer useful in your profession.
e. Request help from a listserv about research for a major report you are prepar-

ing for your employer.
f. Advise your district manager to discontinue marketing one of the company’s

products because of poor customer acceptance.
g. Write to a friend studying finance at a German, Korean, or South American

university about the biggest financial news in your town or neighborhood in
the last month.

12. Rewrite the following email to your boss to make it more professional.

Hi—

This new territory is a pain. Lots of stops; no sales. Ughhhh. People out here
resistant to change. Could get hit by a boulder and still no change. Giant

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companies ought to be up on charges. Will sub. reports asap as long as you
care rec.

The long and short of it is that market is down. No news = bad news.

13. As a collaborative venture, join with three or four classmates to prepare one or
more of the email messages for Exercise 11. Send each other drafts of your mes-
sages for revision. Submit the final draft to your instructor.

14. Assume you have received permission to repost in an email all or part of the
article on microwaves (pages 47–49) or virtual reality and law enforcement
(pages 429–433). Prepare an email message to a listserv or Usenet group contain-
ing part of the article you have chosen.

15. Send your instructor an email message about a project you are now working on
for class, outlining your progress and describing any difficulties you are having.

16. You have just missed work or a class meeting. Email your employer or your
instructor explaining the reason and telling how you intend to make up the work.

17. As a group activity, instant message two or three other members of your
collaborative writing team on a project you are working on. Print out your IM
exchanges during this time, and submit them to your instructor.

18. As a collaborative project, write three or four external blog posts about some as-
pect of your current job or a previous job. Share with readers news about your
company’s products or services, technology you are using, professional travel,
community service, work with international colleagues, and so forth. Be sure that
your posts show your company, department, or agency in a good light.

19. Send a short post (200–300 words) to your company’s blog administrator about
a recent accomplishment you or your office, department, or section achieved.
Include a link to a relevant site for readers to visit for further information.

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