5-3 Summative Assessment Part One: Feedback and Revision Reflection

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ENG 122 Summative Assessment Part One Guidelines and Rubric

Feedback and Revision Reflection

Overview: In this module, you learned about some different strategies for revising your writing. In this assignment, you will review your instructor’s feedback on
your writing plan and consider how you will incorporate that feedback to further develop your thoughts as you prepare to write your first draft of the critical
analysis essay.

Prompt: For this reflection assignment, you will make some choices about your approach to your critical analysis essay based on your understanding of revision
and the feedback on your writing plan provided by your instructor. You’ll also discuss who your intended audience is and what you hope to accomplish with your
essay.

Specifically, the following critical elements must be addressed:

I. Feedback and Revision Reflection: Use this reflection to gather your thoughts and determine a strategy for writing your critical analysis essay based on
your instructor’s feedback on your writing plan.

A. Think about your experiences with revision in the past. What approaches to revision have worked well for you?

[ENG-122-03]

B. What revision strategy from the Module Five content would you like to try when revising your critical analysis essay? [ENG-122-03]
C. Review your writing plan and the feedback provided by your instructor. How does this feedback influence your ideas about your selected

reading? [ENG-122-03]
D. What changes will you make to your analysis now that you have received this outside feedback? [ENG-122-03]

II. Audience: Use this part of your reflection to consider your audience and purpose.
A. Imagine that your essay will be read by an audience beyond your instructor. Identify an audience that might benefit from reading your essay and

describe some of this audience’s characteristics.

[ENG-122-01]

B. What potential challenges could you have connecting with this audience with your writing? [ENG-122-01]

C. Identify some choices you can make within your writing to connect with this audience. [ENG-122-01]

Rubric

Guidelines for Submission: Save your work in a Microsoft Word document with double spacing, 12-point Times New Roman font, and one-inch margins. Then,
check your writing for errors. Once you have proofread your document, submit it via the Summative Assessment Part One: Feedback and Revision Reflection
link in Brightspace

Critical Elements Exemplary Proficient Needs Improvement Not Evident Value

Feedback and
Revision

Reflection:
Approaches to

Revision
[ENG-122-03]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
cites specific, relevant examples
of successful approaches
(100%)

Describes previous approaches
to revisions (85%)

Describes previous approaches
to revisions, but response is
unclear or cursory (55%)

Does not describe previous
approaches to revisions (0%)

11.25

Feedback and
Revision

Reflection:
Revision Strategy

[ENG-122-03]

Identifies a new revision
strategy to implement based on
the Module Five content (100%)

Identifies a new revision
strategy to implement based on
the Module Five content, but
response is unclear or cursory
(55%)

Does not identify a new revision
strategy to implement based on
the Module Five content (0%)

11.25
Feedback and
Revision

Reflection:
Influence

[ENG-122-03]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
explanation demonstrates
considerable thought and
contemplation of the feedback
(100%)

Explains how the feedback from
the instructor influenced ideas
about the selected reading
(85%)

Explains how the feedback from
the instructor influenced ideas
about the selected reading, but
response is unclear or cursory
(55%)

Does not explain how the
feedback from the instructor
influenced ideas about the
selected reading (0%)

11.25
Feedback and
Revision

Reflection:
Changes

[ENG-122-03]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
cites specific, relevant examples
in support of the explanation
(100%)

Explains how the instructor’s
feedback changes the analysis
(85%)

Explains how the instructor’s
feedback changes the analysis,
but response is unclear or
cursory (55%)

Does not explain how the
instructor’s feedback changes
the analysis (0%)

11.25

Audience:
Audience

Characteristics
[ENG-122-01]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
demonstrates a sophisticated
awareness of the audience’s
characteristics (100%)

Identifies the essay’s audience
and describes characteristics of
this audience (85%)

Identifies the essay’s audience,
but response is unclear,
cursory, or characteristics of
the audience is inaccurate
(55%)

Does not identify the essay’s
audience (0%)

15

Audience:
Challenges

[ENG-122-01]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
demonstrates a sophisticated
awareness of the challenges
connecting with the audience
(100%)

Identifies potential challenges
in connecting with the intended
audience (85%)

Identifies possible challenges in
connecting with the intended
audience but response is
unclear or cursory (55%)

Does not identify potential
challenges in connecting with
the intended audience (0%)

15

Critical Elements Exemplary Proficient Needs Improvement Not Evident Value

Audience: Choices
[ENG-122-01]

Meets “Proficient” criteria and
provides an insightful
connection between the
challenges posed and strategies
necessary to connect with the
audience (100%)

Identifies choices that could be
made within the essay to
connect with the intended
audience (85%)

Identifies choices that could be
made within the essay to
connect with the intended
audience, but response is
unclear or cursory (55%)

Does not identify choices that
could be made within the essay
(0%)

15

Articulation of
Response

Submission is free of errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, and
organization and is presented in
a professional and easy-to-read
format (100%)

Submission has no major errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
(85%)

Submission has major errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
that negatively impact
readability and articulation of
main ideas (55%)

Submission has critical errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
that prevent understanding of
ideas (0%)

10

Total 100%

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Record: 1

Some Lessons From The Assembly Line.

Braaksma, Andrew

Newsweek. 9/12/2005, Vol. 146 Issue 11, p17-17. 1p. 1 Color
Photograph.

Article

COLLEGE students
INDUSTRIAL workers
APPRENTICES
OCCUPATIONS
COLLEGE environment

UNITED States

Describes the author’s experiences with summer jobs and the
differences with college life. Comparison of the difficulties of working 12-
hour days in a factory with leisurely college life; Lessons learned about
the value of education; How the author applies his factory work lessons
to his college studies; Why the author chooses to work in a factory and
live at home during the summer; Discussion of the value of his work
experiences.

890

0028-9604

18139488

Military & Government Collection

My Turn

Some Lessons From The Assembly Line

Sweating away my summers as a factory worker makes me more than happy to hit the books.
Last June, as I stood behind the bright orange guard door of the machine, listening to the crackling hiss of the
automatic welders, I thought about how different my life had been just a few weeks earlier. Then, I was writing
an essay about French literature to complete my last exam of the spring semester at college. Now I stood in an
automotive plant in southwest Michigan, making subassemblies for a car manufacturer.

I have worked as a temp in the factories surrounding my hometown every summer since I graduated from high
school, but making the transition between school and full-time blue-collar work during the break never gets any
easier. For a student like me who considers any class before noon to be uncivilized, getting to a factory by 6
o’clock each morning, where rows of hulking, spark-showering machines have replaced the lush campus and
cavernous lecture halls of college life, is torture. There my time is spent stamping, cutting, welding, moving or
assembling parts, the rigid work schedules and quotas of the plant making days spent studying and watching
“SportsCenter” seem like a million years ago.

I chose to do this work, rather than bus tables or fold sweatshirts at the Gap, for the overtime pay and because
living at home is infinitely cheaper than living on campus for the summer. My friends who take easier, part-time
jobs never seem to understand why I’m so relieved to be back at school in the fall or that my summer vacation
has been anything but a vacation.

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There are few things as cocksure as a college student who has never been out in the real world, and people
my age always seem to overestimate the value of their time and knowledge. After a particularly exhausting
string of 12-hour days at a plastics factory, I remember being shocked at how small my check seemed. I
couldn’t believe how little I was taking home after all the hours I spent on the sweltering production floor. And
all the classes in the world could not have prepared me for my battles with the machine I ran in the plant, which
would jam whenever I absent-mindedly put in a part backward or upside down.

As frustrating as the work can be, the most stressful thing about blue-collar life is knowing your job could
disappear overnight. Issues like downsizing and overseas relocation had always seemed distant to me until my
co-workers at one factory told me that the unit I was working in would be shut down within six months and
moved to Mexico, where people would work for 60 cents an hour.

Factory life has shown me what my future might have been like had I never gone to college in the first place.
For me, and probably many of my fellow students, higher education always seemed like a foregone conclusion:
I never questioned if I was going to college, just where. No other options ever occurred to me.

After working 12-hour shifts in a factory, the other options have become brutally clear. When I’m back at the
university, skipping classes and turning in lazy re-writes seems like a cop-out after seeing what I would be
doing without school. All the advice and public-service announcements about the value of an education that
used to sound trite now ring true.

These lessons I am learning, however valuable, are always tinged with a sense of guilt. Many people pass
their lives in the places I briefly work, spending 30 years where I spend only two months at a time. When fall
comes around, I get to go back to a sunny and beautiful campus, while work in the factories continues. At
times I feel almost voyeuristic, like a tourist dropping in where other people make their livelihoods. My lessons
about education are learned at the expense of those who weren’t fortunate enough to receive one. “This job
pays well, but it’s hell on the body,” said one co-worker. “Study hard and keep reading,” she added, nodding at
the copy of Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road” I had wedged into the space next to my machine so I could read
discreetly when the line went down.

My experiences will stay with me long after I head back to school and spend my wages on books and beer.
The things that factory work has taught me–how lucky I am to get an education, how to work hard, how easy it
is to lose that work once you have it–are by no means earth-shattering. Everyone has to come to grips with
them at some point. How and when I learned these lessons, however, has inspired me to make the most of my
college years before I enter the real world for good. Until then, the summer months I spend in the factories will
be long, tiring and every bit as educational as a French-lit class.

PHOTO (COLOR): Is that all? After an exhausting string of 12-hour days, I remember being shocked at how
small my check seemed

~~~~~~~~
By Andrew Braaksma

Braaksma, a junior at the University of Michigan, wrote the winning essay in our “Back To School” contest.

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