rewrite technical writing paper
I have a how to create your skincare routine paper that my professor didn’t like and he gave me his detailed notes on why he didn’t and I want you to help fix it to ask for a regrade.
How to create your skin care routine
Submitted to: DR. Brasted-Maki
Collage of engineering
Corvallis OR
Submitted by: Humood Aljleeby
Industrial engineering major
Oregon state university
Feb/21/2020
How to create your skin care routine
This set of instruction help individuals take care of there skin to be able to maintain
youthful radiant skin that would represent them for a life time, it only requires a daily 10min to maintain.
This set of instructions will walk you threw some basic steps you will achieve your skin goals.
WARNING
Most products have facial acids that should be tested on a small part of your body
to prevent from disturbing your skin and skin irritation.
Materials
– Tonner
– Emulsion
– Serum
– Moisturizer
– Eye cream
– Product with SPF
– Facial oil
– Mask
– Cleanser
Disclaimer
Process time 10 minutes daily
And an occasional extra 30 min needed for deep weekly care.
Have to use products that best fits your skin type to get the result you are hoping for.
step 1:- begin by using a cleanser to help remove all the products and pollution and to help clean you face
a facial cleanser is a twice a day product that comes in all the price ranges that would fit everyone’s budget on a moist
Add a dollp on your finger tips and gently massage it on your face to help distribute
the product then wash it off with water then gently tap try
Step 2:- use a tonner to prep your skin and restore your PH level
I recommend to invest in spry bottles
to easily sprits a couple of sprays to cover your whole face.
Step3:- apply a pea size amount
of your emulsion distributed
evenly on your face, the
moisture from the tonner will
help distribute it easily since we
aren’t using a lot of product
Step 4:- then apply a few drops of your serum
At this step you can mix and match more than one of your serums
to help target your skin concerns
Step 5:- to add some hydration to your skin apply a few smears of your moisturizer on your face
to evenly distribute the product around your face, gently massage it on your
face and always massage it upwards to prevent wrinkles.
Step 6:- add a pea size amount of product on your
ring size finger, the ring finger is the gentlest finger since the area
under the eye is the thinnest layer ofskin
Step 7:- to the most important step the sunscreen
just like the moisturizer apply a
few smears to your face and evenly distribute the product, it helps protects
from UV light and sun damage, no one wats skin cancer
CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE IT, HEALTHY, GLOWING AND YOUTHFUL SKIN FOR YEARS!!!!
LAB REPORT
Instruction
Our skin usually needs more help since the elasticity and glow as know as the youthful glow that fades with time. After all
collagen stops regenerating it self between the period of age 20-25. In this set of instruction you’ll find the steps to maintain
that healthy skin and warnings on what are the do’s and don’ts when creating your skin care routine.
Methodology
I started my research in 2017 , I started reading more and trying products throughout the years by buying and being sent more
products from work since I work as a cosmetics development manager, we get sent products to rank them and see how different
products feel and what the science behind it and if it really works.
After all there is endless skin problems and genetics paly a huge roll, I read endless research’s, since the cosmetic is after all a
billion dollar industry and its definitely growing more and more.
Although seven steps sounds very invasive but once you get the hang of it it gets easier and as the name of it its becomes a daily
routine.
Results
Threw out reading the endless research, skincare is and has always been a thing that people spent time and money and
time in trying and exploring what’s right for them
My second conclusion is that if the product has a price tag that you cant afford there is definitely another that might be less
expensive and just as good.
What you have to understand that most importantly buy following the steps I made sure to lest the steps from the biggest
molecule to the smallest to help the skin absorb it better.
What amazed me is that you cant just take what someone else is using and coping it, skin is more complicated than that,
you have to be patient and try and find what works for you specifically.
Skin care is preventative care it cant give you what you already have, it maintains it and helps heal and fix some skin
concerns.
Conclusion
– Invest in your self
– Keep trying
– Visit a dermatologist
– Start slow
– Take your time
– create your own rules and understand the fundamental or of the molecules
References
Access Denied. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.asos.com/us/the-ordinary/the-ordinary-glycolic-acid-7-toning-
solution/prd/8206150?affid=14309&channelref=Bing%2Bshopping&ppcadref=291766912%7C1274334546048637%7Cpla-
4583245508105768%3Aaud-806149127&_cclid=v3_4d6ab90b-7818-53d7-a23f-
1b4d632cb0ee&gclid=CLLojNX54OcCFQmPxQIdVMoAxA
Beauty & Wellness | Bestgift. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.beautywithin.tv/
Cosmetics, Fragrance, Skincare and Beauty Gifts | Ulta Beauty. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ulta.com/
Dermatology & Skin Care Clinical Trials in FL. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.skincareresearchboca.com/
https://www.ulta.com/
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel
Submitted to:
Human Development and Family Science Majors
Oregon State University
Corvallis, OR 97331
Submitted by:
xxxxxxxxxx
Human Development and Family Sciences major
Oregon State University
May 14th, 2014
Table of Contents
Instructions 1-4
Disclaimer & Materials 1
Step 1-3 2
Step 3-5 3
Step 8 4
Lab Report 5-7
Introduction 5
Methodology 5
Results 5-6
Changes Made for Final 6
Time Spent/Expenses 6
Conclusion 7
Usability Test Logs 8-12
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 1
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel
These are instructions for an easy craft to make and enjoy outside. This craft can be completed
by an individual of any age but is most suitable for kids. It will allow them to be creative and
learn about wind at the same time!
Disclaimer
Approximate Time: 5-25 minutes
Adult supervision recommended for this craft, especially for young children.
Not suitable for children under 3 years old
Materials: (See Figure 1)
• Square piece(s) of paper
• Markers
• Double-sided tape
• Pin
• Bead
• Unsharpened pencil
• Optional: Other decorations (glitter, stickers, paint), glue
Figure 1
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 2
Directions:
1. Begin by decorating your piece of paper on one or both sides. You may decorate it as
much or as little as you please. You can also glue two sheets of paper together to create a
pinwheel with different colored sides. When working with kids, encourage them to
decorate it as much as possible (see Figure 2).
Note: Before moving forward, ensure that your paper is perfectly square.
2. When finished decorating, draw a dot in the center of the square with a pencil. Depending
on the age of the child, you may need to assist them with this step. You can use it as a
learning opportunity to explain what the center is (see Figure 3).
3. Make a cut from each corner straight towards the center for a total of four cuts. Stop each
cut about 1 inch from the center mark (see Figure 4). This step may require a lot of adult
assistance depending on the age of the child. After you are done with your cuts, you
should have a square with four almost complete triangles made by your cuts.
Figure 2
Figure 3
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 3
4. To make the pinwheel shape, fold one tip of every triangle to the center, allowing it to
slightly cross the center dot (see Figure 5). Secure each tip with double-sided tape or
glue.
5. Once all sections are folded to the center, take your pin and push it through the center
making sure you poke through each of the four tips. When working with young children,
assist them with this step so they don’t poke themselves (see Figure 6).
Figure 4
Figure 5
Figure 6
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 4
6. Flip over your pinwheel and slide the bead onto the pointy end of the pin until it rests
against the paper.
7. Holding everything in
place, push the pin
firmly into the eraser on
the pencil (see Figure
7).
8. Make sure that the pinwheel spins effectively. If not, adjust the bead and/or pin until it
spins freely.
Congratulations on completing your beautiful pinwheel! Now you can go outside and watch
it spin!!
Figure 7
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 5
Lab Report
Introduction:
Crafts are a great activity and an easy way to entertain kids or yourself! This pinwheel craft is
simple and uses materials that are easily available. A usability test was used to test the
effectiveness of these instructions and determine if changes needed to be made.
Methodology:
I held five usability tests between the dates of May 10th, 2014 and May 13th, 2014. I supplied the
materials and provided the testers with instructions on my computer. All the tests took place in
my home or in the home of the testers. The only cue I gave them was to look at the pictures if
confused. I did this because it was harder to notice the pictures on the computer if they hadn’t
scrolled down far enough. Other than that, I remained silent while they made their pinwheels.
Recommendations for future testing:
I would definitely print out the instructions if I tested them in the future. It was harder to follow
the instructions and see how all the steps fit together on the screen. I would also test my
instructions on an adult working with a kid to see if they were effective in this setting.
Results:
The first tester had a fun time making the craft but was confused by some of the steps. Especially
the part where the corners are folded into the center was confusing. She also had trouble with the
corners becoming unstuck because the tape was not sticky enough. She decided to change her
plan mid way through and used the pin to hold the pinwheel together. She expressed that the
craft was easy but could the instructions could be a little clearer, especially for working with
kids. She has worked at a kid’s arts and crafts camp in the past, so her input was very helpful.
The second tester spent a long time decorating her craft. She is a good friend of mine so we
chatted while she colored and decorated her paper. After that, she finished the rest of the craft
easily. I forgot to bring tape to this test so she had to use glue, which worked okay. It was a little
messy though and she commented that it definitely wouldn’t be suitable for kids. Like the first
tester, she also commented that some of the steps could use more clarification.
The third tester was able to easily make the craft, though she didn’t decorate it or spend very
much time on it. She decided to try the more advanced method and push the pin through all four
tips. She had no problem with this but commented that a child would definitely need help with
this step. Once she had made her pinwheel, she had difficulty getting it to spin with air and could
only spin it with her hand. She continued to adjust it until it spun better but still not perfect.
The fourth tester had a very easy time making the craft. At the very beginning, she got confused
because the paper she chose to use wasn’t square. She commented I should add that confirmation
into my instructions. Otherwise, she went through the process with no problems.
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 6
The fifth tester got very confused by the many of the steps. He said that I should make it clearer
that there are two different options for assembling the pinwheel, either gluing/taping or using the
pin. Other than that, he had no problems. He has worked with kids frequently in the past as well
and commented on the simplicity and engagement that this craft would provide.
Changes Made for Final Draft:
After receiving feedback from my five testers, I compiled a list of things I will change for my
final draft in order to make my instructions more effective.
• Clarify all steps, especially step 4 and 5
• Make it clearer that there are two ways to approach assembling the pinwheel or only
explain one way
• Provide some information on when children might need guidance
• Ensure that the reader knows their paper should be square
Time Log:
Task
Start
Date
Hours
Projected
Hours
completed
Due
Dates
Planning
Memo
30-‐Apr
1
1
7-‐May
Writing
First
Draft
5-‐May
2
2
7-‐May
Usability
Testing
9-‐May
3
1.5
14-‐May
Revising
Instructions
11-‐May
1
1
14-‐May
Writing
Usability
Log
11-‐May
1
1
14-‐May
Assembling
Packet
11-‐May
1
0.5
14-‐May
Total
9
7
Expenses:
Item
Quantity
Unit
Cost
Total
Pencils
5
0.10
0.50
Beads
5
0.05
0.25
Pins
5
0.01
0.05
Paper
to
print
instructions
1
0.01
0.1
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 7
Conclusion:
The usability tests were extremely helpful in determining what I needed to change in order to
have a clear and successful final draft. Many of my steps were unclear, which was commented
on by almost all of my testers. I used this feedback to reword some of my steps and make my
instructions more clear and readable. I am more confident that my instructions are now
extremely user friendly and will help readers create beautiful pinwheels.
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 8
Usability Test Log Sheet
Fill out one sheet per user and then insert the findings in your Lab Report
Tester = you, the person with the draft instructions; tester may also be the observer unless there
is another person to serve in that role
Users = people trying to follow the instructions to see where to improve; If user is not physically
present, send the test log sheet for them to fill out and return
1. Fill out one sheet per user
2. Each user should be given the identical pre-‐‑test talk, including:
a. test is voluntary and unpaid,
b. users should talk aloud about each step as they attempt to follow the directions
c. users’ results will be tabulated and used for revising and improving the
instructions
d. users should give the tester suggestions for improvement
e. users may stop at any point, especially if safety is involved
3. Users should talk aloud and/or write notes on this Log Sheet as they attempt to follow
the directions
4. Tester/Observers should record user’s progress and problems, and not answer any
questions unless safety is a factor
5. Record data from all 5 test logs in the final lab report.
* * * * *
Instructions for what product/process: Making a paper pinwheel
User’s name: Grace Carosio
Tester/Observer(s) name(s): xxxxxxxxxx
Location of test (room #, building, etc): Grace Carosio’s House
Date of test: May 10th, 2014
Start time of test: 12:04
End time of test: 12: 16
Results: User’s comments to fill out:
Describe your attempt and degree of success: Fun and easy craft, had a difficult time getting the
tape to stick, tried again sticking the pin through all four corners and had much more success
Please give advice on the instructions: Add a little more explanation for some steps, maybe have
pushing the pin through all four corners be the only option
Results: Observer to fill out:
Notes for revision: Clarify explanations, change step 5?
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 9
Usability Test Log Sheet
Fill out one sheet per user and then insert the findings in your Lab Report
Tester = you, the person with the draft instructions; tester may also be the observer unless there
is another person to serve in that role
Users = people trying to follow the instructions to see where to improve; If user is not physically
present, send the test log sheet for them to fill out and return
1. Fill out one sheet per user
2. Each user should be given the identical pre-‐‑test talk, including:
a. test is voluntary and unpaid,
b. users should talk aloud about each step as they attempt to follow the directions
c. users’ results will be tabulated and used for revising and improving the
instructions
d. users should give the tester suggestions for improvement
e. users may stop at any point, especially if safety is involved
3. Users should talk aloud and/or write notes on this Log Sheet as they attempt to follow
the directions
4. Tester/Observers should record user’s progress and problems, and not answer any
questions unless safety is a factor
5. Record data from all 5 test logs in the final lab report.
* * * * *
Instructions for what product/process: Making a paper pinwheel
User’s name: Leora Kirtner
Tester/Observer(s) name(s):
Location of test (room #, building, etc): Leora’s House
Date of test: May 10th, 2014
Start time of test: 4:36
End time of test: 5:11
Results: User’s comments to fill out:
Describe your attempt and degree of success: spent a lot of time decorating which was fun,
simple process, didn’t have tape so resorted to glue which worked okay
Please give advice on the instructions: the wording in step 4 was a little confusing
Results: Observer to fill out:
Notes for revision: Clarify step 4
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 10
Usability Test Log Sheet
Fill out one sheet per user and then insert the findings in your Lab Report
Tester = you, the person with the draft instructions; tester may also be the observer unless there
is another person to serve in that role
Users = people trying to follow the instructions to see where to improve; If user is not physically
present, send the test log sheet for them to fill out and return
6. Fill out one sheet per user
7. Each user should be given the identical pre-‐‑test talk, including:
a. test is voluntary and unpaid,
b. users should talk aloud about each step as they attempt to follow the directions
c. users’ results will be tabulated and used for revising and improving the
instructions
d. users should give the tester suggestions for improvement
e. users may stop at any point, especially if safety is involved
8. Users should talk aloud and/or write notes on this Log Sheet as they attempt to follow
the directions
9. Tester/Observers should record user’s progress and problems, and not answer any
questions unless safety is a factor
10. Record data from all 5 test logs in the final lab report.
* * * * *
Instructions for what product/process: Making a paper pinwheel
User’s name: Emily Rice
Tester/Observer(s) name(s): xxxxxxxxxx
Location of test (room #, building, etc): Emily Rice’s House
Date of test: May 11th, 2014
Start time of test: 10:00
End time of test: 10:12
Results: User’s comments to fill out:
Describe your attempt and degree of success: I was able to easily make this craft but it is
definitely an activity better suited for children. I had some trouble at the end with my pinwheel
spinning freely but the more I spun it the looser it got.
Please give advice on the instructions: Because it is a craft primarily suited for children, you
could provide more suggestions for when a child would need help.
Results: Observer to fill out:
Notes for revision: Provide some additional notes on when guidance is needed
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 11
Usability Test Log Sheet
Fill out one sheet per user and then insert the findings in your Lab Report
Tester = you, the person with the draft instructions; tester may also be the observer unless there
is another person to serve in that role
Users = people trying to follow the instructions to see where to improve; If user is not physically
present, send the test log sheet for them to fill out and return
11. Fill out one sheet per user
12. Each user should be given the identical pre-‐‑test talk, including:
a. test is voluntary and unpaid,
b. users should talk aloud about each step as they attempt to follow the directions
c. users’ results will be tabulated and used for revising and improving the
instructions
d. users should give the tester suggestions for improvement
e. users may stop at any point, especially if safety is involved
13. Users should talk aloud and/or write notes on this Log Sheet as they attempt to follow
the directions
14. Tester/Observers should record user’s progress and problems, and not answer any
questions unless safety is a factor
15. Record data from all 5 test logs in the final lab report.
* * * * *
Instructions for what product/process: Making a paper pinwheel
User’s name: Kathleen Beardsworth
Tester/Observer(s) name(s): xxxxxxxxxx
Location of test (room #, building, etc): Kathleen’s apartment
Date of test: May 11th, 2014
Start time of test: 2: 35
End time of test: 2: 49
Results: User’s comments to fill out:
Describe your attempt and degree of success: moved through the steps with no problems, made
a great pinwheel
Please give advice on the instructions: would include an explanation to double check that the
paper is square, make step 4 easier to follow
Results: Observer to fill out:
Notes for revision: Clarify step 4, Add information to step 1
How to Make a Paper Pinwheel 12
Usability Test Log Sheet
Fill out one sheet per user and then insert the findings in your Lab Report
Tester = you, the person with the draft instructions; tester may also be the observer unless there
is another person to serve in that role
Users = people trying to follow the instructions to see where to improve; If user is not physically
present, send the test log sheet for them to fill out and return
1. Fill out one sheet per user
2. Each user should be given the identical pre-‐‑test talk, including:
a. test is voluntary and unpaid,
b. users should talk aloud about each step as they attempt to follow the directions
c. users’ results will be tabulated and used for revising and improving the
instructions
d. users should give the tester suggestions for improvement
e. users may stop at any point, especially if safety is involved
3. Users should talk aloud and/or write notes on this Log Sheet as they attempt to follow
the directions
4. Tester/Observers should record user’s progress and problems, and not answer any
questions unless safety is a factor
5. Record data from all 5 test logs in the final lab report.
* * * * *
Instructions for what product/process: Making a paper pinwheel
User’s name: Dylan Wile
Tester/Observer(s) name(s): xxxxxxxxxx
Location of test (room #, building, etc): Dylan and Erin’s House
Date of test: May 13th, 2014
Start time of test: 11:04pm
End time of test: 11:19pm
Results: User’s comments to fill out:
Describe your attempt and degree of success: I felt like it went very smoothly. It was a pretty
simple craft but very innovative and success was easy to attain.
Please give advice on the instructions: I would change the wording on the section where can
either just poke through the center or through all four flaps. This was my only place of
confusion.
Results: Observer to fill out:
Notes for revision: Clarify step 5
How to create your skin care routine
Submitted to: DR. Brasted-Maki
Collage of engineering
Corvallis OR
Submitted by: Humood Aljleeby
Industrial engineering major
Oregon state university
Feb/21/2020
How to create your skin care routine
This set of instruction help individuals take care of there skin to be able to maintain
youthful radiant skin that would represent them for a life time, it only requires a daily 10min to maintain. This set of instructions will walk you threw some basic steps you will achieve your skin goals.
WARNING
Most products have facial acids that should be tested on a small part of your body
to prevent from disturbing your skin and skin irritation.
Materials
Tonner
Emulsion
Serum
Moisturizer
Eye cream
Product with SPF
Facial oil
Mask
Cleanser
humood aljleeby (ha) –
Disclaimer
Process time 10 minutes daily
And an occasional extra 30 min needed for deep weekly care.
Have to use products that best fits your skin type to get the result you are hoping for.
step 1:- begin by using a cleanser to help remove all the products and pollution and to help clean you face
a facial cleanser is a twice a day product that comes in all the price ranges that would fit everyone’s budget on a moist
Add a dollp on your finger tips and gently massage it on your face to help distribute
the product then wash it off with water then gently tap try
Step 2:- use a tonner to prep your skin and restore your PH level
I recommend to invest in spry bottles
to easily sprits a couple of sprays to cover your whole face.
Step3:- apply a pea size amount of your emulsion distributed evenly on your face, the moisture from the tonner will help distribute it easily since we aren’t using a lot of product
Step 4:- then apply a few drops of your serum
At this step you can mix and match more than one of your serums to help target your skin concerns
Step 5:- to add some hydration to your skin apply a few smears of your moisturizer on your face
to evenly distribute the product around your face, gently massage it on your
face and always massage it upwards to prevent wrinkles.
Step 6:- add a pea size amount of product on your
ring size finger, the ring finger is the gentlest finger since the area
under the eye is the thinnest layer ofskin
Step 7:- to the most important step the sunscreen
just like the moisturizer apply a
few smears to your face and evenly distribute the product, it helps protects
from UV light and sun damage, no one wats skin cancer
CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE IT, HEALTHY, GLOWING AND YOUTHFUL SKIN FOR YEARS!!!!
LAB REPORT
Instruction
Our skin usually needs more help since the elasticity and glow as know as the youthful glow that fades with time. After all collagen stops regenerating it self between the period of age 20-25. In this set of instruction you’ll find the steps to maintain that healthy skin and warnings on what are the do’s and don’ts when creating your skin care routine.
Methodology
I started my research in 2017 , I started reading more and trying products throughout the years by buying and being sent more products from work since I work as a cosmetics development manager, we get sent products to rank them and see how different products feel and what the science behind it and if it really works.
After all there is endless skin problems and genetics paly a huge roll, I read endless research’s, since the cosmetic is after all a billion dollar industry and its definitely growing more and more.
Although seven steps sounds very invasive but once you get the hang of it it gets easier and as the name of it its becomes a daily routine.
Results
Threw out reading the endless research, skincare is and has always been a thing that people spent time and money and time in trying and exploring what’s right for them
My second conclusion is that if the product has a price tag that you cant afford there is definitely another that might be less expensive and just as good.
What you have to understand that most importantly buy following the steps I made sure to lest the steps from the biggest molecule to the smallest to help the skin absorb it better.
What amazed me is that you cant just take what someone else is using and coping it, skin is more complicated than that, you have to be patient and try and find what works for you specifically.
Skin care is preventative care it cant give you what you already have, it maintains it and helps heal and fix some skin concerns.
Conclusion
Invest in your self
Keep trying
Visit a dermatologist
Start slow
Take your time
create your own rules and understand the fundamental or of the molecules
References
Access Denied. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.asos.com/us/the-ordinary/the-ordinary-glycolic-acid-7-toning-solution/prd/8206150?affid=14309&channelref=Bing%2Bshopping&ppcadref=291766912%7C1274334546048637%7Cpla-4583245508105768%3Aaud-806149127&_cclid=v3_4d6ab90b-7818-53d7-a23f-1b4d632cb0ee&gclid=CLLojNX54OcCFQmPxQIdVMoAxA
Beauty & Wellness | Bestgift. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.beautywithin.tv/
Cosmetics, Fragrance, Skincare and Beauty Gifts | Ulta Beauty. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ulta.com/
Dermatology & Skin Care Clinical Trials in FL. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.skincareresearchboca.com/