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Revision of Reader Response Essay

Revision Project Instructions Week 10

This week you will be focusing on submitting your revised Reader/Response Essay. Please review all the resources associated with

revision

and

self-review

You will be assessed using a rubric very similar to the 100 point rubric from your first submission. The only difference will be that there is a section that will evaluate how well you implemented the list of revisions you noted in your

Week 9 submission

as well as the instructor comments on your first submission.

I have attached the story, the original Essay, a revision list and also the annotated essay from my professor. I have also attached a revision check list.

PLEASE READ DIRECTIONS IN FULL AND LOOK AT ALL ATTACHMENTS!!

The text in this article related to me in so many different ways. As a woman there are times when I feel “needy”, I want attention and for my fiancé to tell me I look nice, surprise me every once in a while, with positive comments. So yes, I think we all can be needy at times. We need to feel loved and that we are worth the attention given.

She goes back and forth with herself in her mind trying to make sense of his actions towards her, then defends him in some of those actions. In the process of condoning him she belittles herself because she doesn’t want to “rock the boat” per say. When she has finally realized her worth, the fact that she isn’t happy and what he is doing is wrong she packs up all her things, her dog and of course her dignity. Looking in the rearview mirror at what was to be the home they would live in as a married couple she sets out to find herself.

The Crane Wife goes back and forth from the past to present as she tries to talk herself through everything that has went on, like she is trying to prove that she is doing the right thing. There were little signs all through the relationship that she chose to look over at the time that are coming back to her as she reflects on the relationship. I myself have made excuses, condoned behavior I shouldn’t have and looked over the “little” things that in due time added up to huge things. We live and we learn, and sometimes we just need to find ourselves. She went on this scientific excursion to do just that and reflect on her life decisions in the process. She chose this excursion because of “The Crane Wife” from Japanese folklore, a tale about a crane who keeps plucking out all her feathers with her beak so the man she loves can’t see that what she really is. He doesn’t ever notice that she needs cared for, a creature with needs herself. She felt she had so many similarities with the story but once there she realized the biggest part of the trip wasn’t studding the bird, it was learning what it needed to survive.

I think we all go through times that we need attention, not just women. We all want to hear positive comments whether it be from significant others, coworkers or what not.

Running head: THE CRANE WIFE

THE CRANE WIFE

L Michelle Shaw

South College

8/18/2020

THE CRANE WIFE

ABSTRACT

CJ Hauser published a story in which she revealed the state of her relationship with her

fiancé. She exposed how she was being mistreated by her fiancé while still in the relationship,

being cheated and misled. Besides, she suspected that the relationship between her lover and her

friend was intimate and that she felt jealous of her friend when she became suspicious. At one

time, she narrated how they used to converse with her fiancé to understand the nature of their

relationship after their love had begun to make a U-turn. However, he would rubbish it off an

even made her feel stupid for thinking that he was in love with another person. It is after some

time that he confessed to cheating some years back. After learning how she was being cheated,

Hauser explained how she decided to settle for less (Hauser, 2019). This came after she has

begun to understand that the world had more significant problems than hers

“THE CRANE WIFE” REVIEW

Hauser was continuously forced to settle for less in her love life, and this behavior of

settling for less slowly becomes a part of her later life. She settles for less reassurance of love in

her marriage. She settles for less when her mother in law designs the piece she did not want. She

settles for less when her marriage proposal did not meet her expectations. During her research

trip, she also bet on 3 pigs, despite hoping for five, and here, again we see her settling for less,

way after she ended called off her wedding. This is because she believes women are not allowed

to feel entitled, to want more. However, this is a stereotype and in the current time all genders

are allowed equal rights. Everyone deserves happiness and deserves to be treated right at any one

time, and therefore Hauser should have accepted settling for less.

THE CRANE WIFE

The wedding cancellation resulted to a dilemma for Hauser. She felt that calling off the

wedding was a reason enough for her not to be happy in life, and the trip was a vacation to her.

She continues shopping while at the same time debating whether she was doing the right thing by

going on the trip right after she called off the wedding. In the end though, she chooses the trip,

and is left feeling guilty for the first moments into the trip. She called off the wedding because se

continuously felt deprived of her happiness, and time and again she was made to feel bad when

she asked for more. Cancelling the wedding is therefore no reason to for her to feel guilty about

the trip. Oppositely, she would be fulfilling the reason for cancelling the wedding. Finding

happiness and purpose in life. Everyone, women included, deserves to be appreciated and to feel

fulfilled and no one should be put in a position where they must choose being happy over any

other option, let alone a

wedding.

Hauser uses the whooping crane to symbolize her life on two different occasions. She

uses the Japanese whooping crane feeble as a comparison for her life. The whooping crane was

in love, and since she wanted to be loved, and believed she would not be loved for being a bird,

she painfully altered her being. Each night she would pull out her feathers, so she appears worthy

before the man she loved. She gave up the beauty that comes with being a bird, for the love of a

man. Likewise, Hauser gave up her beautiful nature of needing reassurance, needing love, and

needing happiness. She gave up all these for man who did not flinch from his comfort zone to

see her for her. This she did despite out there being others who would love her for being herself,

without requiring her to change.

Hauser compares her happiness to that of a whooping crane, for like the whooping crane,

it is the small things that mattered for her wellbeing. The whooping crane required the flow of

the wind, the berries on the trees, all simple things, to survive. The whooping crane’s survival

THE CRANE WIFE

was dependent on not only concentrating on the whooping crane, but on the things that the bird

dependent on most. The simple things around her existence. Likewise, Hauser required to be

recognized, she needed recognition. She needed to feel worthy. She needed to feel loved without

fighting to be loved. But her fiancée did not see these things in her, but rather saw her as any

other person. Going on the trip let Hauser realize she made the right decision in calling off the

wedding.

When women want, they are termed as needy; but when men want, this is painted as a

positive characteristic (Hauser, 2019). From Hauser’s experience, women are not allowed to

publicly have desires and wants. She therefore struggles to contain what she wants from her

fiancée. Her character in her love life is therefore diminished to that of a submissive partner

whose opinions hardly count. For example, she feels that her love does not tell her “I love you”

enough, but when she brings it up, her partner diminishes the argument down to what he terms

logic and claims since he has said it about twice before, logic dictates that he still loves her and

he needs not remind her. While this is true logically, he is supposed to say “I love you” to her as

much as possible, and not reduce an argument of love to that of logic. Hauser was right in

needing to be reassured of love.

“The Crane Wife” is a Japanese story that is said to be expounded on the relationship

issues relating to women. CJ Hauser explains why she called off her wedding and reflects on

being afraid and not wanting to ruin herself. When she said, “What I learned to do, in my

relationship with my fiancé, was to survive on less” (Hauser, 2019) CJ Hauser hit a person in

many lives because of people who feel stuck with verbally abusive partners and cheaters.

Settling for less means accepting the outcome, learning from experience, and going back to the

THE CRANE WIFE

basics. By resolving for less, any person who has been in an abusive relationship finds peace,

knowing that there are more significant troubles in the world than setbacks in relationships.

THE CRANE WIFE

References:

Hauser, C., J. (2019, July 2019). The Crane Wife. The Paris Review. Retrieved on August 19,

2020 from: https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/07/16/the-crane-wife/

https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/07/16/the-crane-wife/

ENG1201_ONL6FA_ONL6F_20 Assignments Revision Project:

1. I need to improve my Thesis statement, making sure that readers understand why I am writing this paper.

2. Write effective topic sentences for the body of the paragraphs.

3. Revise awkward sentence structures that the Smarthinking Tutor pointed out.

4. Correct grammar errors.

Make sure to place quotation marks around quotes from text to signal that it is borrowed.