Homework Assignment #2 – The Basics Of Writing Well

 

Answer each of the questions below. You can add as much detail as you need to make your answers clearly understood by the reader. Remember, you choose the correct words, you choose the number (NOT amount!) of words to use. Your goal is to make your ideas clear and communicate your understanding of the questions to the reader. This is good practice using a couple of key ideas explored in the last two lectures.

Make sure your homework LOOKS GOOD! Use the tools we have just discussed to make your homework easy to read and visually appealing! Creating a visually appealing DOCUMENT is now a concept you are familiar with. A clear, easy-to-follow document will always aid in communication and understanding. 

1. There are THREE “Keys to Writing Well” : 1. have something to say  2. write “it” well  3. make “it” LOOK good.  Briefly explain what each means.

2. List at least 5 writing TOOLS used to make business documents visually appealing.

3. You should always use “plain English” when writing in the business world. We have also said that you should “write the way you talk” when writing in the business world. What does this mean exactly?

4. Here is an example of a writer (me) using language that in NOT “plain English.” It is very confusing. Rewrite the following sentence using “plain English”:

 As per your request, I have identified a plethora of organizational participants who would like to partake in the upcoming lecture concerning the exceptionally innovative programs we will commence in the upcoming seasonal celebrations.

5. Based on the slides, what is the UGLIEST color for cars? What color is boring? What color is just weird? What color is your car?

6. Rewrite the following sentence removing all the vague wordiness. Use concrete words and concise language instead:

As you already know, Professor Metz really, really hates when his students use lots of unnecessary words and when these words are kind of, you know, like meaningless. I feel like you should have been like told this stuff before now. 

7. The “Make It LOOK Good” power-point slides warn you about over-using BULLET POINTS because too many bullet points can cause the writer to leave out important detail and depth. Here are some bullet points, add appropriate depth and detail to make each idea clear to the reader:

     ♦  Many new snacks will be added to the menu.

     √  The fires are causing problems for many communities.

     ◊  I do several things to relax.

      → I learned several things from reviewing Metz’s Make it LOOK Good power-point slides.

Be sure your homework is submitted as a WORD file or a PDF file. DO NOT use the “COMMENTS” section. DO NOT use the “WRITE SUBMISSION” option.

Effective Business Communication
Confusion is the ENEMY!

Step ONE – Write Well

If you write well – you will be understood.
Your goal is rarely to get the readers to agree with you –
but you always want the reader to UNDERSTAND what

you have written. Understanding is the KEY to
successful communication.

Remember what I have said since day
ONE: Do Better!
You are smart people.

How do I know this? Because you are in an advanced
communication class, an upper level student, about to

graduate from this university!
Your writing must ALWAYS show this statement is true.

Your writing must always be excellent.
NO MORE EXCUSES!

It is time you start caring about your writing and the
image you create.

Your writing says a lot about you and your abilities, so
always strive to do your best.

Why do you need to write well?
Your writing is a reflection of you and your abilities.

DO NOT be a “good enough” person.

Good enough is NOT good enough.
Consider this email I received from a student:

Dear prof Metz

I have to work on monday please let me know what i have to do to make up the quiz
I will miss. I will be class on weds.

thanks, Jennifer

This is a POORLY written email. Obviously, this writer dis not care about this
email or the image it would create. (Easy writing errors, grammar errors, lazy
writing, incorrect email format – how much longer would it have taken this person
to correct these errors? )

Do not be this kind of writer. You are always being
judged!!!

THREE KEYS to Writing Well
You must do these three things for every

business document you create:

1. Have something to say!

2. Write “IT” well.

3. Make “IT” look good.
If you can do these three things, your business writing will be
effective and impressive! Why? Because many people cannot
do these things. Or, they choose NOT to do these things because
this takes time, effort, and commitment .

Let’s discuss how to do this in detail.

Have Something to Say!

When you decide to write anything, you do so because you
have something to say. Why did Shakespeare write Hamlet?
To torture high school students? NO! He had something to
say about grief, and revenge, and family, and love, and life
and death.

Why did George Lucas write Star Wars? To make billions?
No, but a happy benefit. He had something to say about
good vs. evil, loyalty, friendship, and courage.

When writing for the business world, you should have
something important, interesting, or valuable to say.

Business people are extremely busy; they do not want to
spend valuable time going through memos or emails that are
unimportant. Therefore, before you write something, be sure
you have a clearly established reason for writing.

WHY Are You Writing?
What do you want? What do you have to say?

ALWAYS BE CLEAR

• Always have something to say. Never send any
written document (in the business world) unless it
is important, informative, or necessary.

• Make sure you know what you want your writing to
accomplish. Do you want to entertain? Do you
want to inform or educate? Do you want a response
from the reader?

• You always want to be understood – this is the
most important part of business writing!

This is my PURPOSE
Once you have decided you have something interesting and
important to write about, you must tell the reader!

Announce your purpose (topic) early and clearly!

In essays, this is called a “thesis” – in paragraphs this is called
a “topic sentence.” (Remember English 101?)

We are NOT writing essays, so we will use the term purpose,
intention, idea, or focus. They are all basically the same. It is
what you want to say in your document.

Please send me a copy of the syllabus.

I want to schedule a meeting next Tuesday.

The Christmas party has been cancelled due to budget constraints.

State your purpose early in your document, and say it clearly!
You should tell the reader exactly what you want in the first
couple of sentences. And, it should be clearly understood.

Look at this email I received – what is the problem with it?

Dear Professor Metz,

How are you? I have a question regarding our last assignment which was handed
out on the Wednesday I was absent. Remember, I told you that I would be absent
due to a conference I had to attend for work. I can get you a copy of my travel
schedule if you need it, or I can get a note from my supervisor, which will explain
my absence in detail.

Thanks, John

———————————————————————————————–

Uh…what happened to your question? Get to the point early:

Dear Professor Metz,

How are you? I missed last Wednesday’s class; is the email assignment still due by
Friday?

See how important it is to state your purpose quickly? This
way you will NOT forget to make your point.

Have you already made this mistake when writing an Email?

Good Afternoon Mr. Metz, 

The enemy of all effective communication is confusion. A comma slice is when the writer combines two complete sentences only
with a comma. For example, “I will graduate in the spring, I’m excited.” The correct way to fix this comma splice is, “I’m excited that
I will graduate in the spring.” There is no length in how much the student has to write, as long as the writer is concise, detailed, and
clear with their writing. By using phrases like “I think,” “I believe,” and “In my opinion” makes the writer sound weak, and unsure
about himself.
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to make the lecture video for all of us, I very much appreciate it. 

Kind

Regards,

 

Good afternoon,

1.The enemy of all communication is confusion.
2. A comma splice is when you combine two complete sentences with only a comma.
3. Example of a comma splice: My name is Natalie Rivera, I am a mother to a 9 month old boy.
4. As long as your writing is clear and informative the length is determined by the writer.
5. You should never use phrases such: I think, I believe, I feel, and In my opinion because they make you sound weak, and unsure
of yourself. 

Best,

Where did these writers go wrong? I have NO IDEA what
their emails are ABOUT. They never clearly stated what their
email would be detailing, explaining, or discussing.
Have something to say AND TELL the reader!

Avoid confusion…tell the
reader what you want – what

your email is about!

Hello Professor Metz,

Here is the extra credit from the rules to writing hand out. <<<<— SEE THIS? This is what the email is ABOUT. 1. What is the enemy of all communication ? Confusion is the enemy of communication. 2. What is a comma splice? A comma splice occurs when a writer tries to combine two complete sentences using only a comma. 3. Send me an example of a comma splice and then fix the comma splice in an appropriate way. Jimmy listened to the presentation carefully, his friend was dozing off. Jimmy listened to the presentation carefully. His friend was dozing off. 4. How long do the papers in this class have to be? Papers should be long enough to convey the required information. 5. Why should you NEVER use phrases like these in your writing: I think, I believe, I feel, In my opinion? Phrases like those are unnecessarily wordy and do not add anything of value.

Regards,

The Subject Line : Email & Memo
Using the Subject Line will help you state your purpose…

BUT that is not “good” enough
• When writing an email or memo, you will use the subject line to announce your

purpose (or hint at it any way.)

• This is not enough though; you will also have to restate your purpose in the
first couple of lines in the email or memo.

MEMO

To: A. CEO

From : Alan Bozeman

Subject: Creating a New Ad Campaign for 2015 < - this HINTS at the MEMO’S purpose

Date: January 19, 2015

The focus group we created has come up with some very exciting and cost-effective ideas for the 2015
advertising campaign. < - this clearly states the MEMO’S intentions

EMAIL:
Subject Line: Mgmt. 306 Syllabus Request < - tell the reader what you want

Dear Professor Metz,

Please send me a copy of the Management 306 class syllabus. < - tell the reader in the body of the email

To avoid confusion – Be Relentlessly CLEAR!!!
This takes practice and effort.

• Emails are a good way to improve writing – especially
clarity! Why? Because emails should be direct, concise,
clear, and important!

• If your emails are clear, your OTHER writing will be, too –
memos, letters, resumes, reports, etc.

• Every business document must make a point, state a
clear purpose, be brief but effective, use a good tone,
and have VERY FEW writing errors.

• The point? Practice your writing skills using emails.
• We will do this later this quarter.
• Special Note: If and when you send me emails this quarter

for whatever reason, they better be well-written. If not,
you will hear about it!!!

Be clear and then make it more clear, so the
reader is SURE to understand you…like

this:

– Move that thing. (Ugh.)

– Can you please grab that thing there and move it outside?
(Hmmm)

OR

– Jim, please move the brown CSUSB trash can, which is on
your left, out into the hallway. (Now it is clear.)

Business Writing: Communicate by using clear language and
word choice

Business Writing has changed over the years. It is no
longer a stiff, overly formal, bureaucratic style.

Effective writing for the business world has become a
more casual, conversational style.
WHY? Because the world is smaller, so your readers are
a new diverse group. You must be sure ALL readers will
be able to understand your writing.

This has many benefits for the reader and the writer.

We will go over these benefits and discuss some of the
KEYS to becoming a successful business writer.

Understand?

Is this writing too elevated? Is the writer (me) trying too hard to
impress the reader? Yes. So, the communication is lost and the
writer has failed. Check out the next slide for the translation.

Countless wordsmiths conclude mistakingly that in order
to denote accurately, they must access immense or massive
diction in order to impress and win-over individuals who
might partake in their musings. Perhaps this was once the
case, but as humanity continues its slow shriveling inward
espousing dialog clearly has become the primary
objective!

Use PLAIN English
If you see this (PE?) on your paper, you did

NOT.
Many writers think to write “well” they have to use big words.
They have been told that using a thesaurus ( a book of really
big words which very few people use or understand) is
important when writing in the business world. This may have
been true in the past, but in the 21st century, as the world
continues to shrink, writing clearly is the most important
aspect of writing well.

Which paragraph do you like? The “fancy” one which
uses big words? Or this one, which is easier to read?

To communicate, you do not have to use big, fancy,
rarely-used words. Use words and ideas you use EVERY
DAY!

Write the way you talk? Well, nah.

• Many claim business writers should write the way they talk. This is true, to a
certain degree. We are going to change this idea a bit: I want you to write the way
you speak. What’s the difference between talking and speaking?

• Here’s the difference: when we talk we usually use slang, curse words,
abbreviations, euphemisms and other very common language.

• We usually use this type of language when talking to friends, some family
members, co-workers, and some others.

– However, when we speak, we elevate our language a bit. We speak with employers,
parents, business professionals, clients, and people we want to impress.

• Note: we never want to elevate our language so much that we sound
pompous, arrogant, or stuffy. This will have negative effects. Worse,
the writing can become confusing and hard to follow.

• There are some professions that DO try to use confusing, vague language. Why?
Because they do not want to be clear and direct because it hurts them. What professions
might benefit by making its writing sound extremely elevated and stuffy and
CONFUSING? – Lawyers? Politicians? Salespeople? Hmmm?

Remember: Confusion is the Enemy
Many writers think the goal of writing is to gain approval or
get the reader to agree with the paper’s premise. This is rarely
the case, however.

For example, your boss tells you to write a memo to the
company’s workforce informing them that the Christmas
Party has been cancelled, or raises will be eliminated, or
jobs will be cut. Your goal is NOT to get the reader to
agree with your memo; your goal is to get them to
understand the memo.

You are writing to tell people that a fun event will be
cancelled. They are NOT going to agree with this decision, are
they? Who cares! Do they understand what you have written?
If so, your writing is effective. It has to make a point, be well
written, and look good!

OK, so how do you avoid confusing your
readers?

What leads to confusion?

Writing that is hard to read can lead to confusion – this
includes awkward looking fonts. Additionally, these fonts can
be distracting and cause the reader undue stress.

So, make it look good! Make it look good!

And, if you ever have to hand write anything, be sure your
writing is neat and legible.

Sentence Length – long sentences can be
confusing

Some writers think they have to write really long sentences to
be taken seriously even though the opposite may, in fact, be
true because readers do not like to read long sentences in any
situation as long sentences do not give readers a chance to
pause and digest the information that was given to them by the
writer who probably did have something important to say but,
sadly, the information was lost amid the long and winding and
ultimately confusing collection of words that the writer put
together in an attempt to impress the reader with how well he
or she can write and the length of the sentences he or she can
create.

Sentence Length – long sentences can be
confusing, so make them shorter…correct

punctuation is the key!

Some writers think they have to write really long sentences to
be taken seriously. The opposite may, in fact, be true. Readers
do not like to read long sentences. Long sentences do not give
them a chance to pause and digest the information that was
given to them. The writer probably did have something
important to say. But, sadly, the information was lost amid the
long and winding and ultimately confusing collection of
words. Bad writers put together long sentences to impress the
reader with how well they can write and the length of the
sentences they can create.

Wordiness, Slang, Abbreviations
These Cause Confusion

• In my opinion, I believe that the reason why people
use too many words is because they really have
very little to say.

• People who have little to say use many words.
• Slang is rare at this level, unless writers do not

realize they are using slang.

• He got most of his education in NY City.
• Avoid abbrevs because they are confusing.

Write “it” so the reader can understand “it”

OK, so what does this mean exactly? It means write well!

If you want your reader to understand your ideas, follow your
logic, and appreciate your writing, you must find a style that is
easy to read.

This is what we will be spending the next few months going
over. How do you become a better writer?

These are the essential elements of good writing:

Be clear and specific, be organized, use an effective tone,
be aware of your audience. We will discuss all of these
things this semester – stay tuned!

Make “IT” Look Good

• In the business world, appearance can mean everything. This
is why potential employees wear suits, comb their hair,
shave, wear some make-up. Do these superficial changes
make a person more qualified? Smarter? No, but they do
show effort, pride, and professionalism.

• Your business writing has to do this as well. All business
documents (emails, memos, letters, resumes) have a
clearly defined STRUCTURE. Without a professional
looking document, your document may never be read.

• OUR NEXT FUN LECTURE WILL SHOW YOU
WHAT LOOKS GOOD…and what does not.

The Business World is Obsessed with Appearance

! Why do job-seekers get “dressed-up” when
they go to a job interview?

! Why do some businesses have a “dress-code”
for employees?

! Why do businesses go to extremes to maintain
an appealing appearance for itself and its
employees?
! Because a “look” can make individuals and

corporations look professional.

1

So, you strive to LOOK professional

► When you interview for a job, you want to LOOK good. How?
” Women are expected to have a business-like hair style, wear some

make-up (not TOO much, that would not be professional), manicure
their nails (but don’t use a flashy red color – that would also be
unprofessional looking), wear a sensible dress or business suit, wear
a shoe with a small heel (but NO stilettos – also unprofessional), and
carry a bag or purse (loud or expensive looking bags and purses are
not recommended.)

” Men are expected to be well-groomed with a traditional hair style
and color, shave their faces, wear a business suit with a belt and tie
(or at least a jacket and tie), wear a leather shoe (no sneakers), and
carry a leather briefcase or professional bag.

Ugh – who made these “rules” and why are they so confusing?
2

Do the “requirements” from the previous page
seem unreasonable or out-of-date?

• Perhaps these standards are changing a little bit.
Many businesses might be less strict when it comes to
appearance. Alternative “looks” are much more
acceptable now than in the past, including visible
tattoos and piercings, hair color, clothing, facial hair,
and other personal grooming choices.

• However, there is still a desire to LOOK good
– no mater what an individual decides to look
like in the business world.

3

The Same is True for Your
Business Writing – you have
many, many choices, BUT it

must LOOK good.
If your RESUME, MEMO, EMAIL,

BUSINESS REPORT, LETTER looks good
and is inviting, it is more likely to be read.

Why? Because in the business world,
appearance counts, even with documents

you create.
If your document is not VISUALLY

APPEALING, it will not be read.
Sad…but true!

OK, so what looks good?

LIFE: If something is inviting AND visually
appealing, looks good, or is attractive, IT
WILL DRAW attention. We all know this is
true – even if we don’t want to admit it.

Your writing, like most attractive “things,” will draw attention
IF you create it with the right LOOK.

What IS the RIGHT LOOK? I’m glad you asked.

5

This is when I ask my classes:
OK, tell me what LOOKS GOOD!

Students usually reply with this: “But
Professor Metz, beauty is subjective. What
looks good to one person might not look
good to another. Beauty is very
subjective.”

Subjective, of course, means individuals
decide for themselves what looks good.

! Really? I used to think this was true;
NOW I am not so sure. Consider the
following slides…

But Beauty is Subjective, Right?
Is Beauty Really Subjective?

Can’t we agree on what looks good?

Beauty is subjective? Really? If so, why are there “super-models”? These

21

st century models seem to have many things in common.
Other societies had a different view of beauty, right?
1

7

th century England?
1

9

th century France?

19

20

’s America?
Each had a unique opinion of beauty. But, times change and so does a
society’s definition of beauty.
Our society seems to have already set a standard of beauty. Consider the
following slides.

7

Beauty is Beauty

1900 1920 1940

19

50

19

6

0

8

The 1970’s
Society agreed – and made this the greatest selling poster

in history!
–

9

The 1980’s – a different LOOK – but still appealing

10

And NOW???

11

Personal Preferences = Small Variations of the
Social Standard – Different but still LOOKS good

12

Thank you for your help, Erin Metz

13

Michael Buble

Captain America

Nick Jonas
CJ WilsonChris Pratt

Zac Efron
Prince Charming/Capt. Kirk

OK, Metz – thanks for all the pictures
from the past -what’s your point?

! My point is simple: all of the people from the previous slides
LOOK GOOD. Our society has agreed that there is a standard
definition of beauty. The individuals each LOOK different –
yet, they are all deemed visually appealing by our society.

! Here are a few other EXAMPLES. See if you agree whether or
not these things LOOK good…

14

Oooh, I want one!
What makes a CAR appealing to the eye?
It LOOKS good so it must BE good, right?

15

YUCK! You couldn’t pay me to drive these.
Yellow is the ugliest color for a car, white is boring, green is just
weird.

16

Look for the CSUSB parking permit hanging in the
window.

Why do you NOT want these cars? Because they
don’t LOOK good.

17

All doggies are adorable…yeah, right.

18

Compensating for something? Is BIGGER Always Better?
Some people think these monsters LOOK good – does

society? NO. How do I know? Because these are not
common. Thank goodness!

19

Is There an Earthquake Coming?
Why do people drive these things?

Uncomfortable, gas-guzzler, ugly, rough ride-
what’s to like?

ll

20

More must be better, right?
NO! Everything in Moderation! Even with Writing

21

Moderation is the KEY to Creating a Visually Appealing Business
Document

22

ALERT!!!
Do NOT over-use the writing tools we are

about to discuss -especially BULLETS
POINTS

! <— see this thing? This BULLET point? Bullet points are like muscles - some are good - too many are alarming. ! We will go over this - stay tuned.

23

24

Beauty is in the Eye of the
Beholder…or is it?

! Yes, it is true that beauty can be subjective. What one person thinks is appealing,
might not be to someone else. The previous slides prove this. You LIKE yellow
cars. I don’t! So, what do we do? We have to find a standard we can agree with –
find a “happy-medium.” Society does this all the time.

! Over the years, society has established a standard definition of beauty. You may not
agree with all of the ideas, but most citizens can agree that beauty has some
common traits. We have found the “happy-medium.” Let’s see if we can come up
with some:
! physically fit, tall, straight white teeth, well-groomed, long hair for women, and

shorter hair for men.
! Of course, there are other ideals that make a person attractive.

! The same idea applies to writing. There are certain standards
that have been set up over the years which help make a written
document visually appealing. Let’s go over some of them.

6

OK, what makes a BUSINESS document
LOOK GOOD?

An effective layout (or format/structure) uses
several things:
– Headings, lists, appropriate fonts and font size,

(some/a few) bullets, and white-space.
– Learn to mix and match these to create a document

that is easy to read, organized, and visually
appealing. Notice, I will use ALL of these things
(and a few others) to make the slides appealing, i.e.
easy to read and follow. Believe it or not…a
PRETTY document aids in understanding.

– (Is this slide visually appealing?)

Headings/Use Them Effectively

Headings are an effective way to show parts of a
document. For those writers who struggle with
ORGANIZATION, headings can help them stay focused
on one idea.
Headings can be helpful in long or shorter documents.
Longer documents can also use sub-headings to help with
organizing longer more complex ideas.
You can use headings in all business documents especially
memos, letters, emails, and resumes (or in Power-Point
presentations).
* What about this UGLY GREEN slide? Visually
appealing? NO, it hurts my eyes and becomes distracting,

Headings – Where Do They Go?
*Most headings are justified left. But, they can also be centered if you
desire. There is no correct method.

* Headings should also be a slightly larger font and can be bold,
italicized, or underlined to make them stand out more.

* Also, be sure there is more white space above your heading than below.
This will allow the reader to see which section your heading goes with.

Class #1/Monday January, 13
Go over syllabus; discuss class structure; questions

Class #2/Wednesday, January 15
Discuss first chapter of text and go over quiz

Both headings here are effective, yet they LOOK different.
27

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Important Note about Headings
Headings lose their effectiveness if not placed correctly.

Headings should have more white space above them than
below them. The heading must clearly go with the section it
details.
Ways to Improve Employee Health
Our company will soon implement a comprehensive
health program designed to teach our employees the
most effective ways to lead a healthier lifestyle. We will
also be installing several programs in the office that
will assist all employees in their attempt to improve
their health.
See how difficult it is to see where the heading goes? This is due to the incorrect
spacing.

10

29

Do not put headings in the middle!
★ Headings should have more white space above them than below them. The

heading must clearly go with the section it details. This heading does not do this
effectively.

(same space-there must be more space here)

Ways to Improve Employee Health
(same space-there must be less space here)

Our company will soon implement a comprehensive
health program designed to teach our employees the
most effective ways to lead a healthier lifestyle. We will
also be installing several programs in the office that
will assist all employees in their attempt to improve
their health.

11

30

Place headings closer to the section it
details…
Headings should have more white space above them than below them. The heading
must clearly go with the section it details.

Ways to Improve Employee Health
Our company will soon implement a comprehensive health program designed to
teach our employees the most effective ways to lead a healthier lifestyle. We will
also be installing several programs in the office that will assist all employees in their
attempt to improve their health.

More white space above the heading makes it easier to read.

12

Use Bullets – but BE CAREFUL!
►You can use bullets to highlight: examples,

reasons, steps, and even paragraphs.
►Using bullets is another excellent way to highlight ideas

and EXAMPLES. Bullets also help to keep ideas and
examples organized. Bulleted ideas and examples can help
you cut down on the number of words you use.
” Too many bullet points can make your paper choppy

and read more like an outline. Avoid this by limiting
your use of bullet points.

More on Bullets
► Some writers use bullets incorrectly. They use bullets to make

papers appear longer – WITHOUT ADDING IMPORTANT
DETAIL, DEPTH, EXAMPLES, OR EXPLANATION.

Here is an example of this very poor writing style:
► Our company has decided to introduce a number of exciting programs

in our continuing effort to improve the work experience here at
Kramerica Industries.
” New break-room
” Longer lunch break
” Free snacks and drinks
” Free Wi-fi

These four bulleted points do not make the ideas clear to the reader. They
hint at what might be – but there is CONFUSION. You owe your readers
detail, depth, and examples to make the ideas clear.

32

If you use bullets, you still have to explain the ideas!

Our company has decided to introduce a number of exciting programs in our continuing
effort to improve the work experience here at Kramerica Industries.

” New break-room – To make you feel more at ease during your lunch break, we are
going to redesign the employee break-room. The old furniture will be donated to
charity and be replaced by new sofas and reclining chairs. We will install several
new TV’s complete with all the popular streaming services, including Netflix,
Youtube, Vudu, and Disney+. The new break-room will have several gaming
systems, gaming chairs and an advanced audio system. The heating and cooling
system will be upgraded – and we will keep the break-room at a comfortable 72
degrees. The old, nasty carpet will be replaced by calming, comfortable bamboo
planking. We want you to be so comfortable in this new break-room, that falling
asleep is possible. To aid in this, we will also be installing several state-of-the-art
SLEEPING PODS. Take a nap if you need one! If you have any other suggestions
for the new break-room, feel free to let me know.

” Longer lunch break – Now, explain the new longer lunch break and why this is
“exciting” as it says above. You promised your employees “exciting” programs.
You have to deliver!

” Free snacks and drinks – free food (and drinks) IS EXCITING! -Give detail and
examples.

” Free Wi-fi – why is free wi-fi exciting? Your readers want to know!
33

Types of Bullets – Too Many to Count – Pick a
STYLE that you like – but it must be professional

looking


Some great films include:
! The Shawshank Redemption
” A Few Good Men
# Lord of the Rings
$ Pulp Fiction
% Tombstone

There is no consensus concerning bullets. What style you use,
what size you use, how often you use them, and where you use
them are all personal writing decisions.
! Most experts say to use one style throughout the

document. Others claim you can vary bullets depending
on your purpose. Be careful to use a standard size for
bullets as well. Bullets should highlight items, but not be
distracting or obtrusive.

Using Bullets to Create a List

Using lists to discuss your ideas and examples is a
very common practice in business writing.
There are several ways to create a bulleted list.
You can create a list that uses punctuation or you can
create a list that does not use punctuation.
You get to choose which style to use, SO which style
will you use?

35

What should your list LOOK like?

Again, there are many choices. You can write a simple list, a
list that looks like a traditional sentence, or a combination of
both styles.

Simple list using bullets
Classes taken as of June 2014

– Management 306
– Accounting 211
– Economics 395
– Business Ethics 101

This style can be used in memos and resumes. BUT, many
times the lack of detail can hurt your credibility.
Notice: no punctuation.

36

A List Can Also Look More Like a
Traditional Sentence

> I have taken several classes that will help
me become a successful manager, including
Management 306, Accounting 211,
Economics 395, and Business Ethics 101.

This “bulleted” list is more effective; the idea
(classes taken) also provides clear examples.
This “sentence style” is used on resumes, cover
letters, business reports, memos, and any other
business document.

37

Parallel Lists
Grammar Alert: lists have to be parallel.

Not parallel: The business class likes to write, to study, and partying.

The manager was asked to write a report quickly, accurately, and in an
efficient manner.

The coach told the players they needed to work on their hitting, to focus on
their mechanics, and play with passion.

PARALLEL= The business class likes to write, to study, and TO party.

The manager was asked to write a report quickly, accurately, and
EFFICIENTLY.

The coach told the players they needed to work on their hitting, to focus
on their mechanics, and TO play with passion.

FRAGMENT LISTS ARE
CONFUSING

Avoid writing lists like this:

Our employees will soon enjoy some well deserved improvements.

– A new employee break room, with state-of-the-art gaming systems will
be completed next month.

-A redesigned cafeteria will now serve hot, made to order meals.

– New work stations with high speed internet access.

NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE WITH THIS LAST ITEM. THE
FIRST TWO ARE SENTENCES, THE THIRD HAS TO BE AS
WELL.

New work stations with high speed internet access will be installed next week.

Font choice:
Serif or Sans-serif

• A font using serifs is considered more
business-like and professional looking. Use a
font like this for memos, letters, and resumes.
(Notice this font has serifs.)

• There are situations that might call for a sans-serif
font. If a more relaxed tone is desired, or the
document is a little more informal a casual font
might be preferable. (Some of this presentation is
done in a sans-serif font because it makes the slides
easier to read.)

Choosing your font and font size
& As you know, there is no shortage of choices when it comes to font style. You should try to find a

font that fits your purpose but is also professional looking.

& As you know, there is no shortage of choices when it comes to font style. You
should try to find a font that fits your purpose but is also professional looking.

& As you know, there is no shortage of choices when it comes to font style. You
should try to find a font that fits your purpose but is also professional
looking.

& As you know, there is no shortage of choices when it comes to font style.
You should try to find a font that fits your purpose but is also
professional looking.

& As you know, there is no shortage of choices when it comes to font
style. You should try to find a font that fits your purpose but is also
professional looking.

Appropriate Size
• Using a larger font in some parts of your document is not

only appropriate, it is also necessary to make ideas stand
out. You should consider using a larger font for:

• Your name on your resume
• Headings used to introduce lists
• Important examples

• The standard font size of 10 or 12 is usually appropriate for
most business writing.

• Increase the size as needed.

Use White Space Effectively
One of the most frustrating aspects of business documents is
they can sometimes be hard to read because they are so
“dense.” In other words, the ideas are crammed together into
one tight unit. To combat this, use white space. This is simply
adding some space between ideas, sections, concepts, and
paragraphs. This will give your writing a sense of organization
as the reader will clearly see the sections of your document. It
will also give the reader a chance to break when reading your
document. Using white space in all business writing is a good
way to make your writing visually appealing. You will use
white space in letters, memos, emails, and resumes.

This paragraph is uninviting and not many people
will want to read it simply because it is hard to
read. It may be full of excellent ideas, but if it is not
inviting, what’s the point?

Just Add Some White Space
(Blue Space Here)

One of the most frustrating aspects of business documents is
they can sometimes be hard to read because they are so
“dense.”

In other words, the ideas are crammed together into one tight
unit. To combat this, use white space. This is simply adding
some space between ideas, sections, concepts, and
paragraphs.

This will give your writing a sense of organization as the
reader will clearly see the sections of your document. It will
also give the reader a chance to break when reading your
document.

Using white space in all business documents is a good way to
make your writing visually appealing. You will use white space
in letters, memos, emails, and resumes.
(Notice these smaller paragraphs use standard business
structure: single space, no indent {block paragraphs})

White Space…Well, BLUE Space on This Slide

• White space can also be used effectively in a linear
fashion: do not use commas -USE space to separate
items – use for resumes

Student California State University, San Bernardino (2012 – current)
San Bernardino, California

(2012 – current) Student California State University, San Bernardino
San Bernardino, California

Student California State University, San Bernardino (2012 – current)
San Bernardino, California

46

Some other things to consider
• Try to avoid fonts that are hard to read. These include

hand-writing fonts, Old English fonts, and “kiddie” fonts.
• Be careful not to make your document unprofessional

looking. Odd colors, designs, pictures, borders,
characters, and other “gimmicks” should be avoided in
professional writing. Exceptions might include resumes
for a unique job, invitations, flyers for a corporate outing,
or any other special occasion.

• Be sure your margins are standard 1” all the way around
your document.

• Do not use white-out.
• Be sure the printing is good. Do not submit a faded print

or a smeared print.

22

What would you fix?
• METZ’S BUSINESS WRITING RULES

• THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF THE DO’S AND DO NOT’S WHEN WRITING IN THIS CLASS.

• If you use contractions, use them correctly. Some contractions can be misused and/or confused. Ex: can’t= cannot (cannot is one
word), don’t=do not; won’t= will not; could’ve= could have; they are also confusing: who’s/ whose, you’re/ your, they’re/there/their, it’s/its

• Avoid second person (you) unless you are speaking directly to the reader. The first thing you see is my car. Use first person (I) or
the third person (he, she, they); This is acceptable: As you can see, my qualifications for this position are exceptional. OR: I was very
excited to hear from you about the position.

• Avoid using the following vague words: it, a lot, got, very, really, reason why, etc., be careful using being to start a sentence—
Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases from your writing: in my opinion, I believe, I think, due to the fact that, in conclusion

• Special Note: SEEN is NOT the past tense of see; saw is the past tense; seen is the past participle which requires a helper such as have, had, has
and the like.

• Know when to use me and when to use I; She gave John and me a dirty look. (correct); She gave John and I a dirty look. (incorrect);
When John and I arrived, she gave us a dirty look. (correct) When John and me arrived, she gave us a dirty look. To determine whether
to use I or me, take out the other name and read the sentence. You should now be able to tell if I or me is correct.

• Avoid clichés and trite expressions; they rob your writing of originality: ex. Raining cats and dogs, white as snow, hot as hell, once
upon a time- you should strive to create your own metaphor; ex. It is so hot even Satan ordered an air conditioner. Also avoid slang,
colloquial expressions, abbreviations, and symbols (unless they are appropriate.)

• Capitalization- mother/father-capitalize these words when they are used in place of a person’s name. Ex. Show Mother your report card.
Show your mother your report card. My mother is much nicer than Father. Do not capitalize high school or college unless they are
specific names. I liked high school. I liked going to Fontana High School.

• Use apostrophes correctly; ‘s is used to show possession; s is added to words to make them plural (more than one); ex. The dog’s
bowl is green. The dogs are green. S’ is also used to show plural possession; ex. The boys’ room is a mess. Exception- its is possessive;
The dogs broke its leg.

• Write numbers if they are one word. Ex: I have twelve hats. There are forty people in class. Other numbers should be expressed in
numeral form. Ex: There were 42 people in class. We need 157 chairs for the party. Exceptions: for dates- June 7, 1995; times- It was
10:00 p.m.; money- I won $1,000.

• Word choice- know the difference between: there/their; were/where; to/two/too; our/are; though/thought; your/you are; affect/
effect; a lot/ a lot/ allot; through/threw/thru; a/an; then/than; good/well; until/till; quit/quite/quiet; passed/past; feel/fell/fill;
number/amount; who/that

• Fragments- a sentence missing a subject- Running down the road.
• A sentence missing a verb- The students in English 101.
• The sentence is a dependent or subordinate clause- When we go to the beach.
• —To fix a fragment, add the missing part of speech or connect the fragment to a complete sentence that comes before or after the fragment.

• Run-on sentences are sentence run together with no punctuation. The car is fast it is his pride and joy.
• A comma splice is a sentence spliced together with improper punctuation. The car is fast, it is his pride and joy.
• –Fix run-ons and comma splices in one of the following ways:
• Use a period to make two complete sentences. Ex. The car is fast. It is his pride and joy.

• Use a semi colon between the two complete sentences. Ex. The car is fast. It is his pride and joy.

• Use a comma followed by a coordinating conjunction (fanboys) for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so. Ex. The car is fast, and it is his pride and joy.

This is easier to read, right?
METZ’S BUSINESS WRITING RULES

– THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF THE DO’S AND DO NOT’S WHEN WRITING IN THIS CLASS.

• If you use contractions, use them correctly.
– Some contractions can be misused and/or confused. Ex: can’t= cannot (cannot

is one word), don’t=do not; won’t= will not; could’ve= could have; they are also
confusing: who’s/ whose, you’re/ your, they’re/there/their, it’s/its

• Avoid second person (you) unless you are speaking directly to the reader.
– The first thing you see is my car. Use first person (I) or the third person (he, she,

they); This is acceptable: As you can see, my qualifications for this position are
exceptional. OR: I was very excited to hear from you about the position.

• Avoid using the following vague words: it, a lot, got, very, really, reason why,
etc., be careful using being to start a sentence—Eliminate unnecessary words
and phrases from your writing: in my opinion, I believe, I think, due to the
fact that, in conclusion (NOT quite as easy?)

• Special Note:
– SEEN is NOT the past tense of see; saw is the past tense; seen is the past

participle which requires a helper such as have, had, has and the like.

• Know when to use me and when to use I; She gave John and me a dirty look. (correct);
She gave John and I a dirty look. (incorrect); When John and I arrived, she gave us a dirty
look. (correct) When John and me arrived, she gave us a dirty look. To determine whether to
use I or me, take out the other name and read the sentence. You should now be able to tell
if I or me is correct.

• Avoid clichés and trite expressions; they rob your writing of originality: ex. Raining cats
and dogs, white as snow, hot as hell, once upon a time- you should strive to create your own
metaphor; ex. It is so hot even Satan ordered an air conditioner. Also avoid slang,
colloquial expressions, abbreviations, and symbols (unless they are appropriate.)

• Capitalization- mother/father-capitalize these words when they are used in place of a
person’s name. Ex. Show Mother your report card. Show your mother your report card. My
mother is much nicer than Father. Do not capitalize high school or college unless they are
specific names. I liked high school. I liked going to Fontana High School.

• Use apostrophes correctly; ‘s is used to show possession; s is added to words to make
them plural (more than one); ex. The dog’s bowl is green. The dogs are green. S’ is also
used to show plural possession; ex. The boys’ room is a mess. Exception- its is possessive;
The dogs broke its leg.

• Write numbers if they are one word. Ex: I have twelve hats. There are forty people in
class. Other numbers should be expressed in numeral form. Ex: There were 42 people
in class. We need 157 chairs for the party. Exceptions: for dates- June 7, 1995; times- It was
10:00 p.m.; money- I won $1,000.

Now, go to the SAMPLE PAPERS
section on Blackboard and see
some examples of GOOD
LOOKING business documents!
& Remember, there are thousands of choices

when creating a business document. The
choices are yours – your goal? Create a
business document that is inviting, easy to
read, and professional.

50