Fix my essay draft

I have my draft and the notes from the professor about everything that needs to be changed in order to get a passing grade. I DO NOT want my essay ending up on ANOTHER website because then it pops up in my fraud checker with my school. This already happened ONCE with my thesis topic.

Running head: SALE, TRADE, OR DONATION OF HUMAN ORGANS 1

SALE, TRADE, OR DONATION OF HUMAN ORGANS 7

Sale, Trade, Or Donation Of Human Organs

DeAnna Fleming

ENG – 106

Professor Green

Sale, Trade, Or Donation Of Human Organs

For the last few years, human beings have been undergoing different challenges that have been affecting their lives in both negative and positive ways. Having factors such as modernization that has been come with revolution, there are many stable transformations that have been in the sectors such as health and medicine. This has been in different subjects such as the ones about the transplants of the different human organs from an individual to the other as a way of saving lives. This has been seen as a useful way to make sure human beings have longer lives. The accomplishments of the human organs through the sale, trade and even through the donation have been taken as the alternative of the transplant which however poses a great problem on both sides that are involved. Becoming an organ donor is important because the organ waiting list continues to grow on a daily basis, the donation of organs by an organ donor organs after death can transform others’ lives, and when an organ donor dies and donates their organs, one organ donor can save many different lives. Comment by Deanna C Fleming: Title: the title is weaker right now – it is broad and doesn’t give any sense about what the essay is about Comment by Deanna C Fleming: take more time with some of your wording – things like “stable transformations” are not clear and aren’t using phrases that are clearer and more precise – remember that our writing center can provide some extra support Comment by Deanna C Fleming: this doesn’t yet meet rubric area 1 for being a definition-based essay, which would lead to a failing grade on the paper given how heavily weighted that area is – right now, you have “extremely important” that looks like it could be your definition term, but modifiers like “extremely” really don’t add meaning and are weaker – you also then don’t take the time to define your term – paragraph 2 should provide a clear definition and argue for why your definition in the context of this paper is correct

The first issue that comes along with the issue is the facts about the danger of the entire procedure. The most important aspect that we need to look at is the issue of compatibility of the organs that need to be exchanged. The donor of the organs is in danger of losing their kidney as well as the recipient is in danger of being affected by the organs that they are given. The issue may arise from the situation like denial, death and even procedure that are involved that are not 100% assured. These factors may lead to the death of the donor and even the recipient of the organs. Comment by Deanna C Fleming: this is awk in that you are speaking only of living donations – donations at death don’t have this issue, so I’m not sure what you are arguing for

Most of the surgeons do not suggest living donation as the most particularly safest means to help in recovering the patient’s normal health (Warren, Gifford, Hong, Merion & Ojo, 2014). The organ trade has been engrossed much as it is termed as the backdoor movement. The World Health organization (WHO) gave the records that show the increase in the amount of the organs that are sold in the involved black market for the last few years. In 2010, it has been stated that more than 10,000 organs were traded and it shows one organ is sold per hour. The kind of illegal trafficking of the organs might be prevented through interdicting the involved direct sales as well as though having to restrict the sales to the specific geopolitical regions and hence ensure populace within a certain area which will be permitted to sell and even receive the organs. There is also the formation of the central communal body that is tasked with the financing of the purchase of the required organs and that will make sure the organs do not only reach the rich people but also the less disadvantaged people. Comment by Deanna C Fleming: for wording is hard to follow – sometimes, you are more clearly talking about illegal sales of organs but other times, you seem to be talking about voluntary donations – this has to be clearer

There are also other challenges that are associated with the trafficking and that entails tetrad as well as the involved sale of the human organs. This has come along with the criminal acts that are about the kidnapping of some humans to get organs (Warren, Gifford, Hong, Merion & Ojo, 2014). Many children and adults are abducted and killed for their organs to be harvested for the involved organ trade. There are high tricks that are used and poverty has been seen to play a very key role. The organ donor is not even compensated and the middlemen who are involved are the ones who pocket the large sums of the proceeding. In some cases, the individuals who are helpless are even diagnosed with fake diseases so that to get the organs harvested without their own consent.

The resolutions to this issue is that the market should have set some rules that allow the donor to get their rewards as well as have their acknowledgment and permission so that they can sell their body organs, and they should not be forced to sale their body organs through the third party and after that, they should collect compensation and proper post-operative care is needed. The other issue of the difference in the demand for the human organs and the supply. The individuals who are waiting for the organs seem to wait for a longer time, and they perish before they even get the organs delivered to them. Comment by Deanna C Fleming: a lot of your wording is very awk – I don’t know what you mean here

Human organ transplantation has also been used by other many fake professionals who cheat the individual and take the advantage of the needy people, this has been due to the high demand of the organs that the supply of the same. This has posed a huge problem in society and that has been due to the high prices of the organs. United States Department of Health and Human Services gives approximate 350 American citizens who is at the end stage of the renal disorder whereby their organs stop functioning completely. There are no known medical interventions that can be used to restore a damaged kidney and hence complete transplant is required as the only option (Campbell, 2016). Comment by Deanna C Fleming: awk transition

In the year 2000 around three thousand Americans had to lose their lives while they are waiting for kidney transplantation. However, of the many death cases that have been reported, it has been shown that many of the relatives of the dead people could have been the very suitable donor of the organs that were wanted, more so, the patient would have got the organ donation from the people who die in fatal accidents or those in old age.

There are thousands of people who see the transplant practice as an ideal way to save another life hoping there will be a match of the organs that are required. The solution to the demand of the organs and the supply is to make sure you get one unlawfully from the involved black market (Cherry, 2015). The plots that are used in such cases are supposed to be allowed in the medical sector. The government in the United States need to control and endorse human organ and its trade as they aim to minimize the figure of the ways they can avoid the preventable deaths simply because of the scarcity of the available organs. More so, the government should also be able to deliver the promises for the solid transplant of the organs.

The nation’s critical organ donation and the involved donation requirement helps to promote the involved substitution procedure of the organs that correspond, the government of the United States came up and initiated the National Organ Transplant Act which was in the year 1984. The acts ensured the institution of the Transplantation Network and the Organs Procurement (OPTN) that was used to sustain the global registry for the organs corresponding. The acts have also proclaimed for the strategies that headed the private, as well as the nonprofit making firms that ate under the government’s consensus.

The duly as well as organized order of the involved organ sale should be controlled through the procedure from both the contributors who are supposed to be treated in the right ways and well as the preference of the award that is needed for the economic position. The subject of organ trade will help to fix the reduction and the shortage of the organs but also introduce the excellence in the whole scheme. The government will be responsible for controlling the entire system and check the transparency and that will be accomplished at the best reasonable cost.

The legal organ sales scheme will help to offer the legality and the effectiveness of the entire procedure of organ transplants. The organ donor and the recipient will only be able to give or receive their organs at the designated transplant center. The transplant center is supposed to hold the right sanitary and even the secure condition of the subversive market. The donor cannot be able to deceived and given the wrong amount of money. On the other hand, the recipient will also use the right ways and will also not be deceived by the donor. The organized prices are supposed to be finalized and covered for both the donor and the recipient.

In some nations like Iran, it has been able to control the trade and the sale of the organs as it has been realized to be a society’s organized business, the country has been purchasing and trading the organs at the favorable prices (Taylor, 2017). This has been seen to happen when the demand for organs has been high. The donor is given free health care coverage for one year, the organ recipient is also asked to pay for the process of transplant as well as pay for the purchase of the organ (Potter, 2015). The other countries are advised to follow Iran’s process of the venture.

Today, the issue of buying and selling the human organs is allowed as long as it is done in the right ways and procedure and hence no assurance of there is not contracts. The donor and the recipients are both in danger and nothing to blame when things are going astray. All the involved people’s positions and the moral subject will need to be assessed (Taylor, 2017). The process may save many lives, and they are supposed to be made legal. There is an increase in the professionalism and the arguments that are in the awareness in the designed sale, trade as well as the donation of the human organs.

In conclusion, all the people we see around are bound to giving back to society in different ways. There is a need to give a pause and rethink the matter at hand. The sale, trade as well as the donation of the human organs is significant in different ways. When the business is made legal it will help to save the lives of many people as well as make the society a better and safer place to dwell in.

References
Warren, P. H., Gifford, K. A., Hong, B. A., Merion, R. M., & Ojo, A. O. (2014). Development of the National Living Donor Assistance Center: reducing financial disincentives to living organ donation. Progress in Transplantation, 24(1), 76-81.
Taylor, J. S. (2017). Stakes and kidneys: why markets in human body parts are morally imperative. Routledge.
Cherry, M. J. (2015). Kidney for sale by owner: human organs, transplantation, and the market. Georgetown University Press.
Campbell, A. V. (2016). Why a market in organs is inevitably unethical. Asian Bioethics Review, 8(3), 164 176.
Potter, J. (2015). Does the Iranian model of kidney donation compensation work as an ethical global model?. Online Journal of Health Ethics, 11(1), 11.

ENG-106 Rubric: Definition Argument

16%

16%

Criteria	% Value	1: Unsatisfactory	2: Less Than Satisfactory	3: Satisfactory	4: Good	5: Excellent
% Scaling	0%	65%	75%	85%	100%
Content & Ideas – 40%
Definition Argument Content and Ideas Should: Include an effective title. Provide a thesis that centers specifically on an argument of definition. Establish clear criteria related to the definition in question. Match one or more cases to the established criteria. Use evidence appropriate for definitional arguments.	40%	Does not have title, and has missing or indiscernible thesis statement and minimal evidence to support main ideas. Argument includes elements of reasoning by definition, but does not center on a definition argument. Student does not use outside sources.	Title may not suggest subject and does not spark interest. Thesis statement and/or the controlling idea are not clearly stated. Argument includes elements of a definitional argument, but does not use strategies (especially the criteria-match structure) very well. Ideas are underdeveloped and clichéd. They do not support the thesis. Evidence from outside sources can be irrelevant.	Title suggests subject but does not spark interest. Thesis statement identifies the main point the author is trying to make. Most of content relates to thesis statement, but lacks sufficient support through appropriate strategies. Argument centers specifically on a definitional argument, but may not effectively uses strategies that support it, including matching criteria for definition arguments Cited evidence sometimes does not justify ideas.	Title suggests subject but does not necessarily spark interest. Thesis statement clearly identifies the main point the author is trying to make. Argument centers specifically on a definitional argument and uses strategies that support it, including matching criteria for definition arguments. Most of the content supports thesis, and cited evidence usually justifies ideas.	Title suggests subject and sparks interest. With a clear, controlling idea, thesis statement effectively identifies the main point the student is trying to make. Content supports thesis well. Argument centers specifically on a definitional argument and effectively uses strategies that support it, including matching criteria for definition arguments Specific, cited evidence justifies ideas and enriches the essay.
Organization – 12%
Organization	12%	No apparent organization present. Ineffective introduction does not invite readers or explain the subject. The reader cannot find the thesis statement. Underdeveloped paragraphs lack focus and topic sentences. No conclusion present.	No apparent organization present. Introduction explains subject, but does not engage readers. Thesis is difficult to find. Underdeveloped paragraphs lack focus and topic sentences. Weak conclusion offered.	Organization is clear, but with minor errors. Introduction explains subject, but does not adequately engage readers. Thesis may be misplaced. Paragraphs are not developed around topic sentences, and may not always advance essay’s ideas. Conclusion summarizes but does not conclude.	Organization aids readers in understanding content. Introduction explains subject, but may not engage readers. Thesis statement is placed appropriately, according to the genre set forth in the assignment description in the syllabus. Well-ordered paragraphs are developed around topic sentences, and advance essay’s ideas. Conclusion may be more of a summary.	Logically organized to lead readers to understanding content. Introduction explains subject and engages readers. Thesis statement is placed appropriately, according to the genre set forth in the assignment description in the syllabus. Well-ordered paragraphs are developed around topic sentences, and advance essay’s ideas. Conclusion provides strong, satisfying ending, not a mere summary of the essay.
Format – 16%
Paper Format			16%	Layout: Essay lacks more than THREE of the following: double-spaced, 12 pt, Times New Roman font, 1inch margins, heading (with name, course, date, and instructor), assignment title, and page numbers using appropriate header function. Not all information, paraphrases, quotations, and borrowed ideas are cited on the page they appear; little or no in-text citations and/or entries on reference page used; major documentation oversights noted; major format errors and omissions noted; inappropriate number of required sources used.	Layout: Essay lacks THREE of the following: double-spaced, 12 pt. Times New Roman font, 1inch margins, heading (with name, course, date, and instructor), assignment title, and page numbers using appropriate header function. Not all information, paraphrases, quotations, and borrowed ideas are cited on the page they appear; missing more than one citation and/or reference entry; significant documentation oversights noted; significant format errors or omissions noted; inappropriate number of required sources used.	Layout: Essay lacks TWO of the following: double-spaced, 12 pt. Times New Roman font, 1 inch margins, heading (with name, course, date, and instructor), assignment title, and page numbers using appropriate header function. Not all information, paraphrases, quotations, and borrowed ideas are cited on the page they appear; missing one in-text citation and/or reference entry; minor documentation oversights noted; minor formatting errors or omissions noted; appropriate number of required sources are used.	Essay lacks ONE of the following: double-spaced, 12 pt. Times New Roman font, 1inch margins, heading (with name, course, date, and instructor), assignment title, and page numbers using appropriate header function. All information, paraphrases, quotations, and borrowed ideas are cited on the page that they appear and are listed on the references page (GCU format); some minor errors or omissions in format noted; appropriate number of required sources is used.	Layout: Essay is double-spaced with 12 pt. Times New Roman font, 1inch margins, heading (with name, course, date, and instructor), assignment title, and page numbers using appropriate header function. All information, paraphrases, quotations, and borrowed ideas are cited in parenthetical GCU format; all sources are listed on the references page (GCU format); all citations and reference entries are complete and in alphabetical order; appropriate number of required sources is used.
Language & Style – 16%
Language & Style	Voice & tone are inappropriate and ineffective in creating appropriate mood. Inappropriate word choice used. Sentence structure includes ungrammatical structures and no variety. Writing is wordy.	Voice & tone are inappropriate and ineffective in creating appropriate mood. Word choice fails in use of appropriate, precise language and strong verbs. Includes too many to be verbs. No attempt to vary sentence structure noted. Writing is wordy.	Voice & tone usually do not characterize ideas appropriately or effectively create appropriate mood. Word choice includes nonstandard outdated usage, too many to be verbs, is not precise, and is occasionally incorrect. Some slang or jargon exists in the paper. Inadequate variety in sentence structure noted. Writing is wordy.	Voice & tone usually characterize ideas effectively create appropriate mood. Word choice usually includes current standard usage, active verbs, concrete nouns, and precise words. Some slang or jargon exists in the paper. Some variety of sentence structures strengthens the ideas, creates vitality, and avoids choppiness in the writing. Writing is mostly concisely written.	Voice & tone characterize ideas and effectively create appropriate mood. Word choice includes current standard usage, active verbs, concrete nouns, and precise words. Sentence structures strengthen the ideas, create vitality, and avoid choppiness in the writing. Writing is concise.
Grammar & Mechanics – 16%
Grammar & Mechanics	Demonstrates no control of grammar, spelling, & punctuation conventions. Many errors, such as: Apostrophe use Capitalization Commas misplaced or missing Parallelism Faulty point of view shifts Pronoun agreement Quotation errors Semicolons misused Run-ons & fragments Spelling errors Subject-verb agreement Tense shifts	Demonstrates minimal control of grammar, spelling, & punctuation conventions. Several errors, such as: Apostrophe use Capitalization Commas misplaced or missing Parallelism Faulty point of view shifts Pronoun agreement Quotation errors Semicolons misused Run-ons & fragments Spelling errors Subject-verb agreement Tense shifts	Demonstrates reasonable control of grammar, spelling, & punctuation conventions. Some errors, such as: Apostrophe use Capitalization Commas misplaced or missing Parallelism Faulty point of view shifts Pronoun agreement Quotation errors Semicolons misused Run-ons & fragments Spelling errors Subject-verb agreement Tense shifts	Demonstrates high control of grammar, spelling, & punctuation conventions. Few errors, such as: Apostrophe use Capitalization Commas misplaced or missing Parallelism Faulty point of view shifts Pronoun agreement Quotation errors Semicolons misused Run-ons & fragments Spelling errors Subject-verb agreement Tense shifts	Demonstrates outstanding control of grammar, spelling, & punctuation conventions. No errors, such as: Apostrophe use Capitalization Commas misplaced or missing Parallelism Faulty point of view shifts Pronoun agreement Quotation errors Semicolons misused Run-ons & fragments Spelling errors Subject-verb agreement Tense shifts

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