EVALUATIVE RESPONSE essay (Part 1) and Writing Assignment( Part 2)

Part 1 –

Before you begin Writing Assignment #2 – Evaluative Response, please read our textbook Chapter3 on direct quotes and Chapter4 word choice.

Directions:

Carefully read and re-read How to Turn Debate into Dialogue  Summarize what the author is arguing and then tell me if you agree and/or disagree.  Support your point-of-view by analyzing and evaluating the argument with your own knowledge, life experience, and observations.  Two-thirds of this essay should analyze NOT summarize.  Please use 2-3 direct quotes.  In order to use quotes correctly, read Chapter3 of your textbook and the handout, Quote Sandwich x.

Your essay should be 2-3 pages in length.  Don’t forget to double space and use 12 pt. font.

Using Evidence:

To support your thesis (your point-of-view) , you must use evidence from the source essay and your own observations and life experiences.  Please do not include any outside research sources.

Part 2 – 

Activity 2A (3 pts.)

Write a short summary (thesis plus the main points) of the reading, How to Turn Debate into Dialogue Your summary only needs to be one-half to one page long.  Remember to double space!

Activity 2B (3 pts.)

Create an outline (or map) of your Evaluative Response essay that you are writing this week.  You may want to include the three direct quotes that you’ve chosen to include in your essay.  Your outline or map should be one page.  

Read these pages from our textbook, Chapter8 if you need to review what an outline consists of and/or how it should be formatted: Pages 315 -323 on Outlining 

8.2 Outlining

How to Turn Debate into Dialogue
Deborah Tannen

Balance. Debate. Listening to both sides. Who could question
these noble American traditions? Yet today, these principles have
been distorted. Without thinking, we have plunged headfirst into
what I call the “argument culture.”

The argument culture urges us to approach the world, and the
people in i

t,

in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assump
tion that opposition is the best way to get anything done: the best
way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover
news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polar­
ized views and present them as “both sides”; the best way to settle
disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best
way to begin an essay is to attack someone; and the best way to
show you’re really thinking is to criticize.

More and more, our public interactions have become like argu­
ing with a spouse. Conflict can’t be avoided in our public lives any
more than we can avoid conflict with people we love. One of the
great strengths of our society is that we can express these conflicts
openly. But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling their
differences without inflicting real damage, so we, as a society, have
to frnd constructive ways ofresolving disputes and differcmces.

.,The war on drugs, the war on cancer, the battle of the sexes,
politicians’ turf battles-in the argument culture, war metaphors per­
vade our talk and shape our thinking. The cover headlines of both
Time and Newsweek one recent week are a case in point: “The
Secret Sex Wars,” proclaims Newsweek. “Starr at War,” declares
Time. Nearly everything is framed as a battle or game in which
winning or losing is the main concern.

The argument culture pervades every aspect of our lives today.
Issues from global warming to abortion are depicted as two-sided
arguments, when in fact most Americans’ views lie somewhere in.
the middle. Partisanship makes gridlock in Washington the norm.
Even in our personal relationships, a “let it all hang out” philosophy

emphasizes people expressing their anger without giving them
constructive ways of settling differences.

Sometimes You Have to Fight
There are times when it is necessary and right to fight-to defend
your country or yourself, to argue for your rights or against
offensive or dangerous ideas or actions. What’s wrong with the
argument culture is the ubiquity, the knee-jerk nature, of
approaching any issue, problem or public person in an adversarial
way.

Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between
two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides-no
more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an “other
side,” you may end up scouring the margins of science or the
fringes of lunacy to find it:

This accounts, in part, for the bizarre phenomenon of
Holocaust denial. Deniers, as Emory University professor Deborah
Lipstadt shows, have been successful in gaining TV air time and
campus newspaper coverage by masquerading as “the other side” in
a “debate.” Continual reference to “the other side” results in a
conviction that everything has another 3ide-and people begin to
doubt the existence of any facts at all.

The power of words to shape perception has been proved by
researchers in controlled experiments. Psychologists Elizabeth
Loftus and John Palmer, for example, found that the terms in which
people are asked to recall something affect what they recall. The
researchers showed subjects a film of two cars colliding, then asked
how fast the cars were going; one week later they asked whether
there had been any broken glass.· Sonie subjects were asked, “How
fast were the cars going when they bumped into each other?”
Others were asked, “How fast were the cars going when they
smashed into each other?”

. Those who read the question with “smashed” tended to
“remember” that the cars were going faster. They were also more
likely to “remember” having seen broken glass. (There wasn’t any.)
This is how language works. It invisibly molds our way of thinking

t,

about people, actions and the world around us.
In the argument culture, “critical” thinking is synonymous with

criticizing. In many classrooms, students are encouraged to read
someone’s life work, then rip it to shreds.

When debates and fighting predominate, those who enjoy
verbal sparring are likely to take part-by calling in to talk shows or
writing letters to the editor. Those who aren’t comfortable with
oppos-itional discourage are likely to opt out.

]Efow Higltn-Teclln Commt.micatforn Pl!.BHs Us AparK
One of the most effective ways to defuse antagonism between two
groups is to provide a forum for individuals from those groups to
get to know each other personally. What is happening in our lives,
however, is just the opposite. More and more of our
communication is not face to face, and notwith people we lmow.
The proliferation and increasing portability of teclmology isolates
people in a bubble.
Along with the voices of family members and friends, phone lines
bring into our homes the annoying voices of solicitors who want to
sell something-generally at dinnertime. (My father-in-law startles
phone solicitors by saying, “We’re eating dinner, but I’ll call you
back. What’s your home phone number?” To the caller, he
explains, “Well, you’re calling me at home; I thought I’d call you at
home, too.”)
H is common for families to have more than one TV, so the adults
can watch what they like in one room and the kids can watch their
choice in another-oririaybe each child has a private TV.
E-mail, and now the-Internet, are creating networks of human
connection unthinkable even a few years ago. Though e-mail has
enhanced communication with family and friends, it also ratchets
up the anonymity of both sender and receiver, resulting in stranger­
to-stranger “flaming.”
“Road rage” shows how dangerous the argument culture-and
especially today’s technology enhanced aggression-can be. Two
men who engage in a shouting match may not come to blows, but if

they express their anger while riving down a public highway, the
risk to themselves and others soars.

The Argument Culture Shapes Who We Are
The atgument culture has a defining impact on our lives and on our
culture.

~ It makes us distort facts, as in the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya
Harding story. After the original attach on Kerrigan’s lmee,
news stories focused on the rivalry between the two skaters
instead of portraying Kerrigan as the victim of an attack.
Just last month, Time magazine called the event a ”
contretemps” between Kerrigan and Harding. And a recent
joint TV interview of the two skaters reinforced that skewed
image by putting the two on equal footing, rather than as
victim and accused.

@ It makes us waste valuable time, as in the case of scientist
Robert Gallo, who co-discovered the AIDS virus. Gallo was
the object of a groundless four-year investigation into
allegations he had stolen the virus from another scientist. He
was ultimately exonerated, but the toll was enormous. Never
mind that, irt his words, “These were the most painful and
horrible years ofmy life.” Gallo spent four years fighting
accusations instead of fighting AIDS.

~ It limits our thinking. Headlines are intentionally devised to
attract attention, but the language of extremes actually
shap_es, and misshapes, the way we think about things.
Military metaphors train us to think about, and see,
everything in terms of fighting, conflict and war.
Adversarial rhetoric is a kind ofverbal inflation-a rhetorical
boy-who-cried-wolf.

• It encourages us to lie. If you fight to win, the temptation is
great to deny facts that support your opponent’s views and
say only what supports your side. It encourages people to
misrepresent and, in the extreme, to lie…

,.,

En.di the Argument Culture by Looking at all Sides
How can we overcome our classically American habit of seeing
issues-iifaosolutes? We must expand our notion of” debate” to
include-more dialogue. To do this, we can make special efforts not
to think in twos. Mary Cathering Bateson, an anthropologist at
Virginia’s George Mason University, makes a point of having her
class compare three cultures, not two. Then, students are more
likely to think about each on its own terms, rather than as opposites.

In the public arena, television and radio producers can try to
avoid, whenever possible, structuring public discussions as debates.
This means avoiding the format of having two guests discuss an
issue. Invite three guests–or one. Perhaps it is time to re-examine
the assumption that audiences always prefer a fight.

Instead of asking, “What’s the other side?” we might ask,
“What are the other sides?” Instead of insisting on hearing “both
sides,” let’s insist on hearing “all sides.”

1 We need to find metaphors other than sports and war.
Smashing heads does not open minds. We need to use our

itfiaginations and ingenuity to find different ways to seek truth and
gain knowledge through intellectual interchange, and add them to
our arsenal-or, should I say; to the ingredients for our stew. It will
take creativity for each of us to find ways to change the argument
culture to a dialogue culture. It’s an effort we have to make, because

our public and private lives are at stake.

20 Ways to Talk, Not Argue

Battle of the sexes Relations between women and men

Critique Comment

Fight Discussion
Both sides All sides

Debate Discuss

The other side Another side

Having an argument Making an argument

The opposite sex The other sex

War on drugs Solving the drug problem
Litigation Mediation
Provocative Thought-provoking
Most controversial Most important
Polarize Unify
Attack-dog journalism Watchdog journalism
Automatic opposition Genuine opposition
Focus on differences Search for com,mon ground
Wm the argument Understand another point of view
The opposition party The other party
Prosecutorial reporting Investigative reporting
The argument culture The dialogue culture

Quote Sandwich

What’s a quote?

For our class, we’ll use the term ‘quote’ to reference when you mention a line or two from one of our articles. When we write about a text, it’s important to back up our opinions with examples. We copy 1-2 lines as ‘proof’ of our opinion, but when we copy them into our response/essay we must put quotation marks around the line borrowed; if we don’t, it’s considered plagiarism. We use quotation marks to shows our reader that these are not our lines, but the author’s.

However, quoting effectively is not as simple as just adding a quote into your sentence or paragraph. Instead, you need to integrate your quote. “Hit and run” quoting is when you randomly insert a quote and then suddenly move on to the topic. Using a “Quote Sandwich” (see back) will help you avoid this by quoting using a 3-step process 1. Introduce, 2. Quote, 3. Explain.

Before you do anything:

Find! Locate a quote that you want to use. Depending on what is being asked of you, this could be something that is surprising or interesting to you, a place that confused you, or it could a passage that shows something, like a characteristic of a character.

Step 1:

Introduce! Introduce the quote with signal phrases and reporting verbs. Signal phrases introduce the title and type of work (for example “In the article…” or” In her novel..”). Reporting verbs get paired with the author (Smith argues….She states). These phrases depend on the type of reading you are working with. If it is a novel, you wouldn’t say “In the article”, because it’s not an article. This can be a confusing distinction, so when in doubt “writes” or “states” is a good reporting verb, for example: “Staples says…” or “Bah writes…” Use the last name when referring to the author, and the first name when referring to the character if you’re writing about a novel.
Verbs should be in present tense.

Step 2:

Quote! Use quotation marks around the phrase or sentence you have quoted. Anything more than
two words
that you have copied from the original reading needs to be in quotation marks like: “ ”

Step 3:

Explain! Explain this quote, which will depend on what’s being asked of you. Why is it surprising? Why is it confusing? How does it show this characteristic? Even though it may be obvious what’s going on in the scene that you choose, you still want to explain it. Explain what the scene was, and then explain why it’s significant for your paper.

Original

: Toby walked through the alley. He was scared, but knew his way. P. 76

Quoted

: In
This Boy’s Life
, Toby seems confident. For example, he states, “I was scared, but I knew my way” (76). This shows that Toby is confident, and even mature, because he continues on his journey even though he is scared.

Notice that I have a signal phrase, a reporting verb, quotation marks, and the page number. I also have explanation.

Signal Phrases:

· According to

· In her article

· In the opinion of (author’s names)

· (Author’s name ) suggests that

· (Author’s name) argues that

· (Author’s name) + (a reporting verb from reporting verb list)

Reporting Verbs:

· Acknowledges

· Adds

· Admits

· Agrees

· Argues

· Asserts

· Believes

· Claims

· Comments

· Compares

· Confirms

· Declares

· Denies

· Disputes

· Emphasizes

·
Endorses

· Grants

· Illustrates

· Implies

· Insists

· Notes

· Observes

· Points out

· Reasons

· Refutes

· Rejects

· Reports

· Responds

· Suggests

· Thinks

· Writes

Quote Sandwich!

8.3 Drafting

Learning Objectives

1. Identify drafting strategies that improve

writing.

2. Use drafting strategies to prepare the first draft of an essay.

Drafting is the stage of the writing process in which you develop a complete first version of a piece of

writing.

Even professional writers admit that an empty page scares them because they feel they need to come up

with something fresh and original every time they open a blank document on their computers. Because

you have completed the first two steps in the writing process, you have already recovered from empty

page syndrome. You have hours of prewriting and planning already done. You know what will go on that

blank page: what you wrote in your outline.

Getting Started: Strategies For Drafting

Your objective for this portion of Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” is to draft the body

paragraphs of a standard five-paragraph essay. A five-paragraph essay contains an introduction, three

body paragraphs, and a conclusion. If you are more comfortable starting on paper than on the computer,

you can start on paper and then type it before you revise. You can also use a voice recorder to get yourself

started, dictating a paragraph or two to get you thinking. In this lesson, Mariah does all her work on the

computer, but you may use pen and paper or the computer to write a rough draft.

Making the Writing Process Work for You

What makes the writing process so beneficial to writers is that it encourages alternatives to standard

practices while motivating you to develop your best ideas. For instance, the following approaches, done

alone or in combination with others, may improve your writing and help you move forward in the writing

process:

• Begin writing with the part you know the most about. You can start with the third

paragraph in your outline if ideas come easily to mind. You can start with the second

paragraph or the first paragraph, too. Although paragraphs may vary in length, keep in mind

that short paragraphs may contain insufficient support. Readers may also think the writing is abrupt.

Long paragraphs may be wordy and may lose your reader’s interest. As a guideline, try to write

paragraphs longer than one sentence but shorter than the length of an entire double-spaced page.

8.1 Apply Prewriting Models

• Write one paragraph at a time and then stop. As long as you complete the assignment on

time, you may choose how many paragraphs you complete in one sitting. Pace yourself. On

the other hand, try not to procrastinate. Writers should always meet their deadlines.

• Take short breaks to refresh your mind. This tip might be most useful if you are writing a

multipage report or essay. Still, if you are antsy or cannot concentrate, take a break to let your

mind rest. But do not let breaks extend too long. If you spend too much time away from your

essay, you may have trouble starting again. You may forget key points or lose momentum.

Try setting an alarm to limit your break, and when the time is up, return to your desk to write.

• Be reasonable with your goals. If you decide to take ten-minute breaks, try to stick to that

goal. If you told yourself that you need more facts, then commit to finding them. Holding

yourself to your own goals will create successful writing assignments.

• Keep your audience and purpose in mind as you write. These aspects of writing are just as

important when you are writing a single paragraph for your essay as when you are

considering the direction of the entire essay.

Of all of these considerations, keeping your purpose and your audience at the front of your mind is the

most important key to writing success. If your purpose is to persuade, for example, you will present your

facts and details in the most logical and convincing way you can.

Your purpose will guide your mind as you compose your sentences. Your audience will guide word

choice. Are you writing for experts, for a general audience, for other college students, or for people who

know very little about your topic? Keep asking yourself what your readers, with their background and

experience, need to be told in order to understand your ideas. How can you best express your ideas so

they are totally clear and your communication is effective?

Tip

You may want to identify your purpose and audience on an index card that you clip to your paper

(or keep next to your computer). On that card, you may want to write notes to yourself —perhaps

about what that audience might not know or what it needs to know—so that you will be sure to

address those issues when you write. It may be a good idea to also state exactly what you want to

explain to that audience, or to inform them of, or to persuade them about.

Writing at Work

Many of the documents you produce at work target a particular audience for a particular purpose.

You may find that it is highly advantageous to know as much as you can about your target audience

and to prepare your message to reach that audience, even if the audience is a coworker or your boss.

Menu language is a common example. Descriptions like “organic romaine” and “free -range chicken”

are intended to appeal to a certain type of customer though perhaps not to the same customer who

craves a thick steak. Similarly, mail-order companies research the demographics of the people who

buy their merchandise. Successful vendors customize product descriptions in catalogs to appeal to

their buyers’ tastes. For example, the product descriptions in a skateboarder catalog will differ from

the descriptions in a clothing catalog for mature adults.

326 [Author removed at request of original publisher

Setting Goals for Your First Draft

A draft is a complete version of a piece of writing, but it is not the final version. The step in the writing

process after drafting, as you may remember, is revising. During revising, you will have the opportunity

to make changes to your first draft before you put the finishing touches on it during the editing and

proofreading stage. A first draft gives you a working version that you can later improve.

Writing at Work

Workplace writing in certain environments is done by teams of writers who collaborate on the

planning, writing, and revising of documents, such as long reports, technical manuals, and the

results of scientific research. Collaborators do not need to be in the same room, the same building, or

even the same city. Many collaborations are conducted over the Internet.

In a perfect collaboration, each contributor has the right to add, edit, and delete text. Strong

communication skills, in addition to strong writing skills, are important in this kind of writing

situation because disagreements over style, content, process, emphasis, and other issues may arise.

Exercise 1

Using the topic for the essay that you outlined in Section 8.2 “Outlining”, describe your purpose and

your audience as specifically as you can. Use your own sheet of paper to record your responses. Then

keep these responses near you during future stages of the writing process.

• My purpose:

• My Audience:

The collaborative software, or document management systems, that groups use to work on

common projects is sometimes called groupware or workgroup support systems.

The reviewing tool on some word-processing programs also gives you access to a collaborative

tool that many smaller workgroups use when they exchange documents. You can also use it to

leave comments to yourself.

Tip

If you invest some time now to investigate how the reviewing tool in your word processor works, you

will be able to use it with confidence during the revision stage of the writing process. Then, when you

start to revise, set your reviewing tool to track any changes you make, so you will be able to tinker

with text and commit only those final changes you want to keep.

8.2 Outlining

Writing for Success 327

Discovering the Basic Elements of a First Draft

If you have been using the information in this chapter step by step to help you develop an assignment,

you already have both a formal topic outline and a formal sentence outline to direct your writing.

Knowing what a first draft looks like will help you make the creative leap from the outline to the first

draft. A first draft should include the following elements:

• An introduction that piques the audience’s interest, tells what the essay is about,

and motivates readers to keep reading.

• A thesis statement that presents the main point, or controlling idea, of the entire piece of

writing.

• A topic sentence in each paragraph that states the main idea of the paragraph and implies

how that main idea connects to the thesis statement.

• Supporting sentences in each paragraph that develop or explain the topic sentence. These

can be specific facts, examples, anecdotes, or other details that elaborate on the topic

sentence.

• A conclusion that reinforces the thesis statement and leaves the audience with a feeling

of completion.

These elements follow the standard five-paragraph essay format, which you probably first encountered

in high school. This basic format is valid for most essays you will write in college, even much longer

ones. For now, however, Mariah focuses on writing the three body paragraphs from her outline. Chapter

9 “Writing Essays: From Start to Finish” covers writing introductions and conclusions, and you will read

Mariah’s introduction and conclusion in Chapter 9 “Writing Essays: From Start to Finish”.

9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

8.3 Drafting
Learning Objectives
Getting Started: Strategies For Drafting
Making the Writing Process Work for You
Tip
Writing at Work
Setting Goals for Your First Draft
Writing at Work
Exercise 1
Discovering the Basic Elements of a First Draft

4.3Word Choice
Writing for Success
[Author removed at request of original publisher]

Learning Objectives

1. Identify the reasons why using a dictionary and thesaurus is important when writing.
2. Identify how to use proper connotations.
3. Identify how to avoid using slang, clichés, and overly general words in your writing.

Effective writing involves making conscious choices with words. When you prepare to sit down
to write your first draft, you likely have already completed some freewriting exercises, chosen
your topic, developed your thesis statement, written an outline, and even selected your sources.
When it is time to write your first draft, start to consider which words to use to best convey your
ideas to the reader.

Some writers are picky about word choice as they start drafting. They may practice some specific
strategies, such as using a dictionary and thesaurus, using words and phrases with proper
connotations, and avoiding slang, clichés, and overly general words.

Once you understand these tricks of the trade, you can move ahead confidently in writing your
assignment. Remember, the skill and accuracy of your word choice is a major factor in
developing your writing style. Precise selection of your words will help you be more clearly
understood—in both writing and speaking.

Using a Dictionary and Thesaurus

Even professional writers need help with the meanings, spellings, pronunciations, and uses of
particular words. In fact, they rely on dictionaries to help them write better. No one knows every
word in the English language and their multiple uses and meanings, so all writers, from novices to
professionals, can benefit from the use of dictionaries.

Most dictionaries provide the following information:

• Spelling. How the word and its different forms are spelled.
• Pronunciation. How to say the word.
• Part of speech. The function of the word.
• Definition. The meaning of the word.
• Synonyms. Words that have similar meanings.
• Etymology. The history of the word.

Look at the following sample dictionary entry and see which of the preceding information you
can identify:

myth, mith, n. [Gr. mythos, a word, a fable, a legend.] A fable or legend embodying the
convictions of a people as to their gods or other divine beings, their own beginnings and
early history and the heroes connected with it, or the origin of the world; any invented story;
something or someone having no existence in fact.—myth-ic, myth-i-cal

Like a dictionary, a thesaurus is another indispensable writing tool. A thesaurus gives you a list
of synonyms, words that have the same (or very close to the same) meaning as another word. It
also lists antonyms, words with the opposite meaning of the word. A thesaurus will help you when
you are looking for the perfect word with just the right meaning to convey your ideas. It will also
help you learn more words and use the ones you already know more correctly.

precocious adj, She’s such a precocious little girl!: uncommonly smart, mature, advanced,
smart, bright, brilliant, gifted, quick, clever, apt.

Ant. slow, backward, stupid.

Using Proper Connotations

A denotation is the dictionary definition of a word. A connotation, on the other hand, is the
emotional or cultural meaning attached to a word. The connotation of a word can be positive,
negative, or neutral. Keep in mind the connotative meaning when choosing a word.

• Scrawny
o Denotation: Exceptionally thin and slight or meager in body or size.
o Word used in a sentence: Although he was a premature baby and a scrawny

child, Martin has developed into a strong man.

o Connotation: (Negative) In this sentence the word scrawny may have a
negative connotation in the readers’ minds. They might find it to mean a
weakness or a personal flaw; however, the word fits into the sentence
appropriately.

• Skinny
o Denotation: Lacking sufficient flesh, very thin.
o Word used in a sentence: Skinny jeans have become very fashionable in the

past couple of years.

o Connotation: (Positive) Based on cultural and personal impressions of what it
means to be skinny, the reader may have positive connotations of the word
skinny.

• Lean

o Denotation: Lacking or deficient in flesh; containing little or no fat.

o Word used in a sentence: My brother has a lean figure, whereas I have a more
muscular build.

o Connotation: (Neutral) In this sentence, lean has a neutral connotation. It does
not call to mind an overly skinny person like the word scrawny, nor does imply
the positive cultural impressions of the word skinny. It is merely a neutral
descriptive word.

Notice that all the words have a very similar denotation; however, the connotations of each word
differ.

Exercise 1

In each of the following items, you will find words with similar denotations. Identify the
words’ connotations as positive, negative, or neutral by writing the word in the appropriate
box. Copy the chart onto your own piece of paper.

1. curious, nosy, interested

2. lazy, relaxed, slow

3. courageous, foolhardy, assured

4. new, newfangled, modern

5. mansion, shack, residence

6. spinster, unmarried woman, career woman

7. giggle, laugh, cackle

8. boring, routine, prosaic

9. noted, notorious, famous

10. assertive, confident, pushy

Avoiding Slang

Slang describes informal words that are considered nonstandard English. Slang often changes
with passing fads and may be used by or familiar to only a specific group of people. Most people
use slang when they speak and in personal correspondences, such as e-mails, text messages, and
instant messages. Slang is appropriate between friends in an informal context but should be
avoided in formal academic writing.

Writing at Work: Frequent exposure to media and popular culture has desensitized many of
us to slang. In certain situations, using slang at work may not be problematic, but keep in
mind that words can have a powerful effect. Slang in professional e-mails or during meetings
may convey the wrong message or even mistakenly offend someone.

Exercise 2

Edit the following paragraph by replacing the slang words and phrases with more formal
language. Rewrite the paragraph on your own sheet of paper.

I felt like such an airhead when I got up to give my speech. As I walked toward the podium, I
banged my knee on a chair. Man, I felt like such a klutz. On top of that, I kept saying “like” and
“um,” and I could not stop fidgeting. I was so stressed out about being up there. I feel like I’ve
been practicing this speech 24/7, and I still bombed. It was ten minutes of me going off about
how we sometimes have to do things we don’t enjoy doing. Wow, did I ever prove my point. My
speech was so bad I’m surprised that people didn’t boo. My teacher said not to sweat it, though.
Everyone gets nervous his or her first time speaking in public, and she said, with time, I would
become a whiz at this speech giving stuff. I wonder if I have the guts to do it again.

Collaboration: Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

Avoiding Clichés

Clichés are descriptive expressions that have lost their effectiveness because they are overused.
Writing that uses clichés often suffers from a lack of originality and insight. Avoiding clichés in
formal writing will help you write in original and fresh ways.

• Clichéd: Whenever my brother and I get into an argument, he always says something
that makes my blood boil.

• Plain: Whenever my brother and I get into an argument, he always says something that
makes me really angry.

• Original: Whenever my brother and I get into an argument, he always says something
that makes me want to go to the gym and punch the bag for a few hours.

Tip

Think about all the cliché phrases that you hear in popular music or in everyday conversation.
What would happen if these clichés were transformed into something unique?

Exercise 3

On your own sheet of paper, revise the following sentences by replacing the clichés with fresh,
original descriptions.

1. She is writing a memoir in which she will air her family’s dirty laundry.

2. Fran had an ax to grind with Benny, and she planned to confront him that night at the
party.

3. Mr. Muller was at his wit’s end with the rowdy class of seventh graders.

4. The bottom line is that Greg was fired because he missed too many days of work.

5. Sometimes it is hard to make ends meet with just one paycheck.

6. My brain is fried from pulling an all-nighter.

7. Maria left the dishes in the sink all week to give Jeff a taste of his own medicine.

8. While they were at the carnival Janice exclaimed, “Time sure does fly when you are
having fun!”

9. Jeremy became tongue-tied after the interviewer asked him where he saw himself in
five years.

10. Jordan was dressed to the nines that night.

Avoiding Overly General Words

Specific words and images make your writing more interesting to read. Whenever possible, avoid
overly general words in your writing; instead, try to replace general language with particular
nouns, verbs, and modifiers that convey details and that bring yours words to life. Add words
that provide color, texture, sound, and even smell to your writing.

• General: My new puppy is cute.

• Specific: My new puppy is a ball of white fuzz with the biggest black eyes I have ever
seen.

• General: My teacher told us that plagiarism is bad.

• Specific: My teacher, Ms. Atwater, created a presentation detailing exactly how
plagiarism is illegal and unethical.

Exercise 4

Revise the following sentences by replacing the overly general words with more precise and
attractive language. Write the new sentences on your own sheet of paper.

1. Reilly got into her car and drove off.

2. I would like to travel to outer space because it would be amazing.

3. Jane came home after a bad day at the office.

• 4.3 Word Choice

Learning Objectives
Using a Dictionary and Thesaurus
Using Proper Connotations
Exercise 1
Avoiding Slang
Exercise 2
Avoiding Clichés
Tip
Exercise 3
Avoiding Overly General Words
Exercise 4

• Pages from Chapter4-1

4.3 Word Choice
Learning Objectives
Using a Dictionary and Thesaurus

3.4 Quotes

Learning Objectives

1. Identify the uses of quotes.

2. Correctly use quotes in sentences.

Quotation marks (“ ”) set off a group of words from the rest of the text. Use quotation marks to indicate
direct quotations of another person’s words or to indicate a title. Quotation marks always appear in pairs.

Direct Quotations

A direct quotation is an exact account of what someone said or wrote. To include a direct quotation
in your writing, enclose the words in quotation marks. An indirect quotation is a restatement of what
someone said or wrote. An indirect quotation does not use the person’s exact words. You do not need to
use quotation marks for indirect quotations.

Direct quotation: Carly said, “I’m not ever going back there again.”

Indirect quotation: Carly said that she would never go back there.

Writing at Work

Most word processsing software is designed to catch errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. While this
can be a useful tool, it is better to be well acquainted with the rules of punctuation than to leave the thinking
to the computer. Properly punctuated writing will convey your meaning clearly. Consider the subtle shifts in
meaning in the following sentences:

• The client said he thought our manuscript was garbage.

• The client said, “He thought our manuscript was garbage.”

The first sentence reads as an indirect quote in which the client does not like the manuscript. But did he
actually use the word “garbage”? (This would be alarming!) Or has the speaker paraphrased (and
exaggerated) the client’s words?

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The second sentence reads as a direct quote from the client. But who is “he” in this sentence? Is it a third
party?

Word processing software would not catch this because the sentences are not grammatically incorrect.
However, the meanings of the sentences are not the same. Understanding punctuation will help you write
what you mean, and in this case, could save a lot of confusion around the office!

Punctuating Direct Quotations

Quotation marks show readers another person’s exact words. Often, you will want to identify who is
speaking. You can do this at the beginning, middle, or end of the quote. Notice the use of commas and
capitalized words.

Beginning: Madison said, “Let’s stop at the farmers market to buy some fresh vegetables for dinner.”

Middle: “Let’s stop at the farmers market,” Madison said, “to buy some fresh vegetables for dinner.”

End: “Let’s stop at the farmers market to buy some fresh vegetables for dinner,” Madison said.

Speaker not identified: “Let’s stop at the farmers market to buy some fresh vegetables for dinner.”

Always capitalize the first letter of a quote even if it is not the beginning of the sentence. When using
identifying words in the middle of the quote, the beginning of the second part of the quote does not need
to be capitalized.

Use commas between identifying words and quotes. Quotation marks must be placed after commas
and periods. Place quotation marks after question marks and exclamation points only if the question or
exclamation is part of the quoted text.

Question is part of quoted text: The new employee asked, “When is lunch?”

Question is not part of quoted text: Did you hear her say you were “the next Picasso”?

Exclamation is part of quoted text: My supervisor beamed, “Thanks for all of your hard work!”

Exclamation is not part of quoted text: He said I “single-handedly saved the company thousands of
dollars”!

Quotations within Quotations

Use single quotation marks (‘ ’) to show a quotation within in a quotation.

Writing for Success 121

Theresa said, “I wanted to take my dog to the festival, but the man at the gate said, ‘No dogs allowed.’”

“When you say, ‘I can’t help it,’ what exactly does that mean?”

“The instructions say, ‘Tighten the screws one at a time.’”

Titles

Use quotation marks around titles of short works of writing, such as essays, songs, poems, short stories,
and chapters in books. Usually, titles of longer works, such as books, magazines, albums, newspapers,
and novels, are italicized.

“Annabelle Lee” is one of my favorite romantic poems.

The New York Times has been in publication since 1851.

Writing at Work

In many businesses, the difference between exact wording and a paraphrase is extremely important. For legal
purposes, or for the purposes of doing a job correctly, it can be important to know exactly what the client,
customer, or supervisor said. Sometimes, important details can be lost when instructions are paraphrased. Use
quotes to indicate exact words where needed, and let your coworkers know the source of the quotation (client,
customer, peer, etc.).

Exercise 1

Copy the following sentences onto your own sheet of paper, and correct them by adding quotation marks
where necessary. If the sentence does not need any quotation marks, write OK.

1. Yasmin said, I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out to eat.

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2. Where should we go? said Russell.

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3. Yasmin said it didn’t matter to her.

________________________________________________________________

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4. I know, said Russell, let’s go to the Two Roads Juice Bar.

5. Perfect! said Yasmin.

6. Did you know that the name of the Juice Bar is a reference to a poem? asked Russell.

7. I didn’t! exclaimed Yasmin. Which poem?

8. The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost Russell explained.

9. Oh! said Yasmin, Is that the one that starts with the line, Two roads diverged in a yellow wood?

10. That’s the one said Russell.

• Use quotation marks to enclose direct quotes and titles of short works.

• Use single quotation marks to enclose a quote within a quote.

• Do not use any quotation marks for indirect quotations.

Key Takeaways