english

Review the E2 assignment sheet. Then read the two sample essays (yes, these were written by real students!). The assignment sheet is in Week 5, and sample essays are both available under Week 6. Each essay has strengths as well as room for improvement.

Read each essay, and determine which is strongest. Then write two paragraphs:

Paragraph 1) Identify the stronger essay for this assignment, and explain why it stands out to you. Also indicate how you think it could be improved. 
Paragraph 2) What information do you think should be included in your own E2? What info should be included in your thesis?

Student Last Name 1

Student Last Name 10

E2 Essay Examples for DB #10

Instructions:

Read the two attached essays, and follow the instructions on DB #10. What grade do you think each of these essays earned? See Prof. W.’s rubric below.

Standard Rubric for 1020 Major Assignments

See the syllabus for more information about grades, assessment, and evaluation.

Keep in mind that as we progress throughout the semester, standards and expectations will increase. For example, an A on your first assignment, might be equivalent to a B on your second or third assignments because Prof. W. expects you to improve during the course.

A=Excellent—Keep it up!

The essay is well organized, presents a clear thesis statement, addresses the prompt, demonstrates an understanding of the essay’s purpose, and displays the writer’s attention to revision and editing methods. Writing includes quality sources and integrates them smoothly, including in-text citations and a

Works Cited

page.

B=Great Job—Focus on the details!

The essay is mostly organized, presents a thesis statement, addresses the prompt, mostly demonstrates an understanding of the essay’s purpose, and displays the writer’s attempts at revision and editing methods. Writing includes quality sources and integrates most of them smoothly, including in-text citations and a mostly accurate Works Cited page.

C=Good start but needs some work!

The essay lacks organization, presents an attempt at a thesis statement, somewhat addresses the prompt, does not entirely display an understanding of the essay’s purpose, and the writer shows little attention to revision and editing. Writing lacks quality sources and fails to integrate them smoothly; in-text citations and a Works Cited page need attention.

D=Inadequate but has room for improvement!

The essay is not organized, might not include a thesis statement, shows little attention to the prompt, does not display an understanding of the essay’s purpose, and the writer shows little-to-no attention to revision and editing. Writing includes quality sources and fails to integrate them smoothly; in-text citations and a Works Cited page require major attention.

F=Failed Assignment

The essay is incomplete and/or does not address the prompt; in-text citations and/or Works Cited page are absent.

Student 1

Prof. Williams

English 1020-050

28 February 2019

Should Beauty Gurus’ Reviews be Trusted?

Over the past couple years, the beauty influencers on YouTube have grown to a larger number and views. According to Pixability, in the past 10 years, the beauty related views has grown to about 167 billion. In case you haven’t heard of the term “beauty guru” it’s basically someone who records and posts videos showing different beauty products on YouTube or any social media. There are many pros and cons of following up with a beauty guru and trusting their words. For many people they watch beauty gurus because they like to stay up to date with the beauty products, new lunches, different brands, or even just for entertainment. I have been watching different beauty influencer’s on YouTube and I have to admit most of it is false. I understand that beauty gurus inform us about different products and show us different brands we can purchase from, but beauty gurus are mostly sponsored or getting paid, reviewing certain products just for the reviews, reviewing products for the brands attention, and getting paid for advertisement and affiliate codes.

Brands sponsoring beauty gurus is the most convincing way to get watchers to purchase their products. Brands reach out to beauty gurus who have a lot of subscribers on YouTube and send them their new products to either show it in a video tutorial or post swatches and talk about how the products work. The brands reach out by email to inform the beauty gurus that soon they will receive products and maybe even include a payment amount they will receive after they post a video. Not only do beauty gurus get paid, they even get press trips. Which is basically a brand of cosmetics sending a number of beauty gurus on a trip and in that trip the brand reveals a new makeup item. At the trip beauty gurus get to share their experience and the product online and how well it works for them on YouTube and also other socials media (Lancaster). Others social media such as Instagram is also a huge way for beauty gurus to get sponsored. By simply sharing a picture of a makeup item they will receive money by the brand.

Many of us get tricked by popular trends and rush and press on any video to watch what’s the top trend. For beauty gurus it’s the same thing, once there’s a trend going on beauty gurus make sure they post a video about it so they can get more views. For example, the term “contouring” was once so popular that every beauty guru started using and even brands started coming up with more products to be used when you’re contouring. Contouring is when you use a matte shade that’s darker than your skin tone to define and make certain parts of your face appear smaller, like your nose and forehead. Another trend that beauty gurus know will get them more views is using cheaper makeup and compare it with more high-end makeup. For example, Jeffree star, a makeup influencer, started a trend where he boosts up cheaper makeup by comparing dupes with high-end makeup. It’s really all fake because he uses a $74 dollars primer under a $5 dollars foundation and brave about how good the foundation is. People started watching it and liking it thinking they are finding a bargain and a good cheap foundation because of his videos. Now many beauty gurus started doing the same type of videos, after Jeffree stars video went viral just to gain more views.

When beauty gurus start bragging about a certain product or using a product constantly, a big chance they are doing it to grab brands attention. Sometimes they review products that maybe they don’t love as much just to get on the PR list of a certain brand. Once they get added, they start receiving new makeup and different launches for free. Sometimes if brands see that a beauty guru is gaining a lot of subscribers and views, the brand will make that person the face of the brand and pay them every time they use their products on any video. Not only does that benefit the beauty guru but also the brands. Beauty gurus on YouTube help boost up the amount of sales for the brands. According to BBC News, the country that spends the most on makeup is the United States (Jones and Gelbart).

If you’re ever watching a beauty tutorial and an Ad pops up any time in the video that means that it’s a paid advertisement. Brands advertise any time during a video so they can catch people’s attention (Jervis). Even under the beauty gurus’ channels sometimes there’s ads about certain beauty brands or fashion websites. There’s also a method where while you’re watching a video its cuts and shows an advertisement, that’s also a way for brands and companies to advertise through beauty gurus. Another way beauty guru could get paid is by having an affiliate code with a brand. So, if in their video they mention something about “use my discount to get 10% of your purchase”, they basically have an affiliate code that lets the brand know people watch their videos. Every time someone uses their code, they get paid a percentage.

Beauty gurus cannot be trusted, and everyone needs to be aware of what is happening with all these promotions. People should not waste their money on products that do not work just because a beauty guru influenced them. Most youtubers are sponsored and only talk about these products only because they are being paid. They can choose certain products to review in order to get the brands attention for popularity. Therefore, youtubers get paid for their advertisement and get special promotional codes. Beauty gurus are huge influential youtubers on young and beginner girls trying to do makeup. Beauty gurus use tricks and techniques to try and pursued people to try and buy the products they promote. Whenever a beauty guru promotes a beauty product multiple times on their channel, they receive those products for free. No matter if the beauty gurus love the product or not, they will promote it regardless, and that is why they cannot be trusted.

Works Cited

Jervis, Leah. “How Fashion and Makeup Brands Use Beauty Gurus and Vloggers on YouTube to Increase Brand Awareness.” Powered by University of Brighton, edublogs, 4 Jan. 2018, blogs.brighton.ac.uk/lasj10/2018/01/04/how-fashion-and-makeup-brands-use-beauty-gurus-and-vloggers-on-youtube-to-increase-brand-awareness/.

Jones, Lora, and Hannah Gelbart. “Make-up: Have YouTube Stars Boosted Beauty Sales?” BBC News, BBC, 7 June 2018, www.bbc.com/news/business-43966384.

Lancaster, Brodie. “Glam or Sham: How the Big Brands Cash in on YouTube’s Beauty Vloggers.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 7 Mar. 2018, www.theguardian.com/fashion/2018/mar/08/glam-or-sham-are-youtubes-beauty-vloggers-selling-out.

Pixability. “Annual Beauty-Related Content Views on YouTube from 2009 to 2018 (in Billions).” Statista – The Statistics Portal, Statista, www.statista.com/statistics/294655/youtube-monthly-beauty-content-views/, Accessed 27 Feb 2019.

Student 2

Prof. Williams

English 1020-002

March 4, 2019

Should the NFL Expand Instant Replay to Cover Penalties?

Instant replay review is a much debated and sometimes controversial topic across all major sports circuits. With the constant technological advances being made in videography and photography, it only makes sense for any league to want to use the resources at their disposal to ensure that each game is being officiated as correctly as possible, yet many would argue that the influence of too much technology hurts the integrity of the game. Since the National Football League is the most popular sports league in America, it comes as no surprise that its instant replay review rules are constantly under a microscope of scrutiny. Currently, penalties are not among the calls that officials are allowed to review and overturn. Instant replay review should be expanded in the NFL to cover penalties because it would ensure the correct ruling is made, would help the league to keep pace with other major sports leagues technologically, and it would alleviate speculation of games being fixed; however, it would also cause more prolonged stoppages of play and diminish the importance of judgement calls made by referees.

A single ruling can change the course of an entire football game, so it’s imperative that the right call is made by the officials on each play. Perhaps the best example of this was in the 2019 NFC Championship Game when the New Orleans Saints were tied with the Los Angeles Rams with under two minutes to play. Saints quarterback Drew Brees made a pass to receiver Tommylee Lewis near the sideline that was broken up by Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman, forcing New Orleans to settle for a field goal. The hit by Robey-Coleman was clearly late and should have resulted in a pass interference penalty and given the Saints a first down that would have allowed them to kick a field goal with no time left on the clock. The Rams then were able to tie the game and went on to win in overtime; advancing to the Super Bowl and ending the Saints’ season. The play was not able to be reviewed because NFL rules only allow for scoring plays, receptions, fumbles, placement of the ball, and kicks to be reviewed by video replay. Any flag thrown, or a lack thereof, by a referee is considered a judgement call and is a final ruling at the official’s discretion. Needless to say, many fans were outraged at the game’s outcome and demanded explanations and changes to be made to prevent this from happening again. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell even admitted the penalty should have been called, saying “It is a play that should be called. Whenever officiating is part of any kind of discussion postgame, it is never a good outcome for us” (Draper and Belson). Despite the league’s immense popularity, failure to address issues like this could eventually allow the other top sports leagues to close the gap in viewership numbers.

Another reason why the NFL should expand their instant replay review rules is to keep pace with the innovations being made by other sports leagues. The NBA, which has a reputation as being the most forward-thinking league in America, first adopted instant replay review in 2002. In addition to things like how many points a shot is worth or possession of the ball, replay can also be used for last second fouls, flagrant fouls, and shot clock violations (“NBA Referee Instant Replay Trigger Outline”). Basically, every facet of the game is reviewable. The NHL also does not allow penalties to be reviewed, which has been a source of much controversy for it as well. Major League Baseball was the last of the top four leagues to adopt replay review, but have been proactive since doing so; first implementing it in 2008, then making expansions in 2014, 2015, and 2016. Though baseball does not necessarily have penalties that can be compared to football, one replay rule that MLB has that could be useful for the NFL is limiting all reviews to two minutes. If the official has not made a decision by that time, the original call stands. Above all, the ultimate goal in each league is to make sure the right call is made every time in a timely fashion.

Correctness prevents controversy, and speculation that games are fixed is the worst controversy that a league like the NFL could face. Thus far the NFL has been able to avoid any major internal gambling scandals like MLB has faced with Pete Rose, or former referee Tim Donaghy in the NBA. However, referring back to the aforementioned 2019 NFC Championship, it was revealed that four of the officials in the game all lived in southern California near Los Angeles (Abdeldaiem). Naturally, this led to public backlash and many rumors that the lack of a pass interference call was influenced by the officiating crew having a hometown bias toward the Rams. So far these claims have not been substantiated, but it does not provide a good public image for the league nonetheless. Had the play been reviewable, either the officials themselves or the Replay Review Center in New York would have overturned the call and the league would have been praised for its efficiency.

Though there would be many benefits to expanding instant replay review for penalties, one can also argue the drawbacks. One of the most frequent gripes about the current use of replay is the amount of time it takes for a play to be reviewed. This causes all the action of the game to come to an abrupt halt, and can impact the momentum of the teams involved in the game. It also requires the fans to devote more time to watching the game, as well as subjecting those watching on television to even more commercial breaks. Many football purists would argue that it diminishes the officiating crew’s responsibility of making judgement calls, which harms the integrity of the game. When integrating technology, it’s always important to maintain a degree of humanity.

Instant replay review should be expanded in the NFL to cover penalties because it would ensure the correct ruling is made, would help the league to keep pace with other major sports leagues technologically, and it would alleviate speculation of games being fixed; however, it would also cause more prolonged stoppages of play and diminish the importance of judgement calls made by referees. Each offseason the league’s owners meet and discuss rule changes. Undoubtedly, this rule will be brought up this summer and changes will be made eventually in hopes of avoiding a repeat of this postseason’s debacle.

Works Cited

Abdeldaiem, Alaa. “Report: NFL Allowed Four Game Officials Based in Southern California to Work NFC Championship.” Sports Illustrated, 27 Jan. 2019, https://amp-si-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.si.com/nfl/2019/01/27/four-officials-nfc-championship-game-live-southern-california-rams-saints. Accessed 1 Mar. 2019.

Draper, Kevin and Ken Belson. “Roger Goodell Finally Acknowledges Referee Error in N.F.C. Championship Game.” The New York Times, 30 Jan. 2019, https://www-nytimes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/01/30/sports/football/roger-goodell-saints-nfl.amp.html. Accessed 1 Mar. 2019.

“NBA Referee Instant Replay Trigger Outline.” NBA, https://www.nba.com/official/m-instant-replay-guidelines.html. Accessed 1 Mar. 2019.

Essay 2: Position Essay (100 pts./10%)

“Should _____________?”

In this position essay, you will explore discussions regarding the role of technology in our lives. You will narrow down a topic, state your position on the issue, briefly address opposing arguments, and provide credible, quality outside evidence to support your claims.

You have two options for this assignment:

1) You may research, explore, and take a position on an issue involving technology in your major/career field.

2) You may research, explore, and take a position on an issue involving technology in general.

Your title should be in the form of a research question (see above); your thesis will answer that question. Examples of titles/position topics: “Should Students Be Required to Use iPads in the Classroom?”, “Should Police Wear Cameras?”, “Should Musicians Avoid Spotify?”, “Should Bots be Banned from Buying Concert Tickets?”, “Should Self-Check Outs be Eliminated from Grocery Stores?”, “Should Telehealth Appointments Continue to be Used Post-Pandemic?”, etc.

Position essays require you to:

-explore and evaluate various sides to an argument

-choose a position and reflect on why you feel a specific way

-narrow a potentially broad topic to connect with your audience

-select credible evidence to support your position

You need to include in-text citations and a Works Cited page. Sources (3-5) are necessary to strengthen and support your position. (*Note: Failure to include in-text citations and a Works Cited page will result in an automatic F for the assignment.)

Keep in mind the following while writing your essay:

·

Argue with yourself—can you recognize flaws in your own argument(s)?

· Refrain from writing vague statements—stay focused and on point.

· Don’t forget about the UWC!

Purpose of the assignment:

· To practice evaluating arguments and evidence

· To practice staying on topic

· To practice research methods

· To practice writing thesis statements, topic sentences, and transitions

I will grade your essays based on the following:

·

· Solid thesis statement

· Organization

· Quality of sources (3-5)

· Ability to integrate sources

· Grammar and punctuation

· Ability to convey personal opinion in a professional manner

· Title of essay

· Meeting the length requirement (approx. 900-1100 words)

· Format and documentation style (MLA)

Helpful Hints:

-Use MTSU library to discover sources. Prof. W. will show you how to do this easily and efficiently! Try searching useful MTSU library databases such as Opposing Viewpoints, Statista, CQ Researcher, and Academic Search Ultimate.

-Cite your sources as you find them.

-Keep your audience in mind. In this instance, your instructor and your peers are your audience.

-Read the essay numerous times, and be an engaged reader (take notes, annotate, talk to the text, etc.).

-To avoid errors, proofread a printed copy of the essay before turning in the final draft.

-If you have any questions, ask!

Due Dates: See course calendar for official due dates; make certain you are aware of readings, homework, and deadlines. The assignments this semester require more self-discipline and intensive strategies than what you experienced in English 1010.